What's your story when you offered a non-provider to be a provider?

[Guest]

1 hour ago, mike carey said:

There is a difference but you are still in the delivery person's workplace and whatever local workplace sexual harassment laws apply will apply to you. In many jurisdictions they apply to customers as well as other workers and management. You as a customer may be liable, or harassment by a customer may leave the employer liable for failing to provide a safe workplace (they may even have a 'Don't react but tell us if a customer is a creep and we'll ban them' policy). It's not necessarily simply an issue of what is ethical, or of what is appropriate (or lawful) between two random members of the public.

I'm not a lawyer, but I don't see any harm in leaving your UPS man a note saying "Hi. I'm Unicorn. Give me a call or text if you'd like to have a cup of coffee sometime." I would be flabbergasted to learn that someone could face even civil, let alone criminal liability under such circumstances. I suppose it's possible a person might not be flattered by the compliment. However, no one would believe the man would feel "harassed." 

[mike carey]

38 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

I'm not a lawyer, but I don't see any harm in leaving your UPS man a note saying "Hi. I'm Unicorn. Give me a call or text if you'd like to have a cup of coffee sometime." I would be flabbergasted to learn that someone could face even civil, let alone criminal liability under such circumstances. I suppose it's possible a person might not be flattered by the compliment. However, no one would believe the man would feel "harassed." 

Oh, I agree completely. I didn't think that needed to be stated. Most people on both ends of such an exchange know the limits and can respect them. For those who don't or can't, there are laws that can limit their conduct. I was commenting specifically on what can be included as a 'workplace'.

[DWnyc]

Though a case can still be made for abuse of power in some scenarios. 

If someone feels they risk losing their job because a customer (who is “always right”) has made an offer they are not supposed to refuse for the sake of business, or that there may be a false complaint if refused, that could count. Would require a lot of evidence. And patience.

 

[pubic_assistance]

We hired a company to re-pave our sidewalk last year. The young man they sent over was stunning. I was taking him bottles of water every half hour, flirting with him and trying to think of a way to see if he might want to "make some extra money."

Sadly, the appropriate phrase never came to me, as my wife kept laughing at me from the window, knowing fully well that I was smitten. ( She agreed he was a real specimen ).

Another opportunity lost to my sense of decorum.

 

Edited April 22, 2023 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[Guest]

On 2/11/2023 at 6:42 AM, studchaser said:

... if masculinity is your thing then straight men are the epitome of that both on average and in the extreme. 

I feel a song coming on...

 

[studchaser]

On 4/22/2023 at 10:09 PM, Unicorn said:

I feel a song coming on...

 

Sing it Toni. 

[studchaser]

On 4/22/2023 at 6:35 PM, pubic_assistance said:

We hired a company to re-pave our sidewalk last year. The young man they sent over was stunning. I was taking him bottles of water every half hour, flirting with him and trying to think of a way to see if he might want to "make some extra money."

Sadly, the appropriate phrase never came to me, as my wife kept laughing at me from the window, knowing fully well that I was smitten. ( She agreed he was a real specimen ).

Another opportunity lost to my sense of decorum.

 

Sounded typical til I heard the wife part.

[Guest]

On 4/22/2023 at 3:35 PM, pubic_assistance said:

...Sadly, the appropriate phrase never came to me, as my wife kept laughing at me from the window, knowing fully well that I was smitten. ( She agreed he was a real specimen )...

I'm not sure how the wife fits into this (presumably you have an open relationship and/or a marriage of convenience?), but I can't imagine anyone can feel offended by simply offering a note stating "Let me know if you'd like to have a cup of coffee sometime." Most of the time you won't be successful, but sometimes you will. You just have to be sure you won't take it personally if he doesn't respond. Many years ago, I sent a message to a porn star offering him $200 just to have lunch with me at a restaurant (place/time) of his choosing. I'll never figure out why he didn't even answer, but I wasn't upset. Many years later, he had a RM ad, and I sent a text. He never responded to the text either, and the next week I saw his ad gone. My suspicion is that he's just a troubled and confused man. 

Personally, I'd feel worse about not trying than about being rejected. Some here may recall my story about "Lindoro," the hotel manager who left me totally smitten. Even though we never became intimate, I would have just hated myself had I not passed him that note. We're still acquaintances, and he usually comes when I throw pool parties.

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, Unicorn said:

I'm not sure how the wife fits into this

My wife and I are both bisexual and open.

It "fits in" as I was already struggling to find the right words... while I had the added pressure of my wife watching me from the window, while I  make a fool of myself.

She didn't care that I was trying to fuck him, she just found it all funny watching me try and figure out a dignified way of hinting around that I was interested without getting myself punched for hitting on a totally straight guy.  In the end I should have probably sent HER out. 

I am hopelessly cursed to be attracted to straight guys.

 

Edited April 25, 2023 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[mike carey]

18 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

My wife and I are both bisexual and open.

Haha, let me count the number of times you've already said that in here! Yet still it sometimes comes as a surprise to people.

[pubic_assistance]

25 minutes ago, mike carey said:

let me count the number of times you've already said that in here!

I don't expect everyone to know that.  So obviously I need to put it out there when I need to put things into context.

Since I started using this site, I am aware that some people just assume everyone here is gay.  Always forgetting that there's a 'B' in LGBT

 

[DWnyc]

I’ve been in more than one situation where I’ve done a favor for someone, eg lent or even given money, or helped them in kind, eg place to stay for a while or got them a job or internship. And never with the expectation of favors or even a relationship in return (though sometimes I may have had a crush).

Sometimes explicitly, and sometimes more subtly including where I mostly missed obvious signals, I was offered an opportunity to be intimate in return.

Does that count? 

Getting emotionally messed up from the first and only time I acted on it I made it a rule never to go down that route again. 

[+ APPLE1]

On 4/17/2023 at 9:23 AM, MmM said:

How do you phrase an offer on Grindr so it's not offensive to the nonprovidr?

You obviously closed the deal with the Brazilian, but in the future, if you are worried about "offending" people, just crack the door open. Maybe you already do, but say something like "I haven't had a lot of luck on Grind. I have the best luck finding guys on RentMen." That certainly lets the other one know you are open to payment based arrangements.

Edited April 26, 2023 by APPLE1

[MmM]

20 minutes ago, APPLE1 said:

You obviously closed the deal with the Brazilian, but in the future, if you are worried about "offending" people, just crack the door open. Maybe you already do, but say something like "I haven't had a lot of luck on Grind. I have the best luck finding guys on RentMen." That certainly lets the other one know you are open to payment based arrangements.

Assuming they know about RM....

[+ APPLE1]

1 hour ago, MmM said:

Assuming they know about RM....

True, although I assume the name gives a fundamentally obvious explanation of what is going on. RENTmen

[+ sincerequeer]

On 1/31/2023 at 4:22 AM, Coolwave35 said:

Oh boy. Where to start. These come to mind. 
 

My personal Grindr success rate is 4 out of 35 in my home area, and maybe 1 out of 6 in New York City.  However, there’s a small network of guys in my county that share boys that they’ve identified as receptive to generosity, so there have been about 12 guys identified on Grindr that I’ve paid for stuff.  
 

At a strip club, namely Adonis, I’ve only ever been turned down twice. One was when brothers propositioned me to participate in a highly regulated, over priced 3 some. But I kinda turned them down I guess. Another was when I asked Beau Montreal to go get a falafel barefoot while 3 guys came in his shoe. He said no, but another dancer said yes.

I have much better success rates in situations where I can develop trust over time rather than pounce in a moment of horny exploration than I do propositioning out of the blue. 
 

My ups guy is gorgeous. I planted the seeds in a joking manner. It took 4 years to get his dick pics (with face) but once I had them, I knew I’d get to suck it, and I did. He invited me to join him and his buddies at a bar when his gf dumped him. I went. He got drunk and asked me to drive him home. At his house, he goes “let’s go. I know you want it.  Don’t tell a fucking soul.”  That’s all that was said. This was after 5 years of dramatically increasing Christmas bonuses tucked in Christmas cards declaring my desires. 
 

I hooked up with my ex husbands straight co worker. He had just had a baby. I had just had a divorce. I congratulated him and said “baby’s are expensive, if you need anything I have some extra cash.”  He got it and took me up on my offer thrice in 19 months so far. 
 

I got a straight single dad to take 6 loads to his face and body at a strip club once because he couldn’t afford Christmas. 
 

Instagram models I’ve only tried 4 times and landed 2. There were stories that they were receptive so that success rate is a bit inflated. 
 

I gave a waiter 100% tip once and wrote if you wanna make REAL money, text me. I was the dude in the blue. He did. 
 

I left a note on the windshield of a guy at the gym’s car that was probably one of the hottest men I’d ever seen. I said I was a guy that long admired his body with my eyes and I’d love to pay for the privilege of using my hands. We texted for nearly 4 months before he caved. I just gave him a massage and touched his dick. 
 

Those are the ones that are fresh but there are more. 

these were so hot to read!

I don't think the appeal is about taking advantage of someone. I just think a lot of it is getting a guy who is totally consenting and willing, but just worried about anyone finding out or having to advertise it. The secrecy might be what makes it hot. I'd love to find more discreet candidates like this.

[LookingAround]

On 4/24/2023 at 6:53 PM, pubic_assistance said:

I don't expect everyone to know that.  

 

Just some feedback. You say it in every other post so that’s why others are making the comments they are. You seem desperate that others KNOW (!!!) that you are bisexual!  God they must KNOW IT! 

Edited May 14, 2023 by LookingAround