Milo's opinion: Paying a deposit or upfront

[Milo Janus]

I feel a reminder is warranted, especially for any newbies out there:  NEVER, EVER PAY A DEPOSIT OR PAY UPFRONT PRIOR TO SESSION.  One of our own has made this error recently and it deserves a reminder. 

Providers:  Please do not ask for a deposit or payment prior to session.  I know there are creep customers who try to take advantage, or are no-shows and waste your time.  The same can be said for some of you, although the vast majority I've encountered have been fair and forthright.  We can all succeed in what we want both as a client and as a provider; just both sides play fair, be nice, hygenic and most of all have fun!

Edited December 26, 2022 by Milo Janus

[ChasingGirth]

I never pay up front and I have been lucky to only deal with guys that never asked for the money upfront. But lots of guys do request the money upfront according to the providers I talked to. 

To me if a guy is professional and confident he can provide the exprerience agreed on, he has no reasons to ask for the money upfront.

The most I do is to send an Uber and that alone should reassure the guy 

[pubic_assistance]

Paying upfront is a scam 90% of the time and clueless providers 10% of the time. You decide your chances.

[+ glutes]

Glutes code for money up front providers, MUFr.

Be skeptical!!!!

[Midtownguy99]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

Paying upfront is a scam 90% of the time and clueless providers 10% of the time. You decide your chances.

This is your assumption and this is not accurate. I travel a lot and see a lot of providers who travel and when we arrange an appointment it’s usually done before the day of. If we both have a limited schedule and want to secure time together, I will agree to paying a deposit. 
 

Think about it like this: if a provider is coming to your city and paying expenses upfront such as airfare and accommodations and I book a four hour appointment with said provider, that’s requesting they block off a chunk of his schedule and no other clients can book during that time. For both of us to feel secure, I will offer to pay that deposit. 
 

Of course, this is after I’ve done my research and have assurance the provider won’t run off with my money. 
 

If you are skeptical on paying a deposit, then that provider is not one you want to see. I’ve had several of my providers mention time wasters and other clients who book appointments and cancel without notice and then the provider can’t fill that gap in his schedule. If they only have a few days in that city, one appointment can make a significant difference. 

[Milo Janus]

12 minutes ago, Midtownguy99 said:

This is your assumption and this is not accurate. I travel a lot and see a lot of providers who travel and when we arrange an appointment it’s usually done before the day of. If we both have a limited schedule and want to secure time together, I will agree to paying a deposit. 
 

Think about it like this: if a provider is coming to your city and paying expenses upfront such as airfare and accommodations and I book a four hour appointment with said provider, that’s requesting they block off a chunk of his schedule and no other clients can book during that time. For both of us to feel secure, I will offer to pay that deposit. 
 

Of course, this is after I’ve done my research and have assurance the provider won’t run off with my money. 
 

If you are skeptical on paying a deposit, then that provider is not one you want to see. I’ve had several of my providers mention time wasters and other clients who book appointments and cancel without notice and then the provider can’t fill that gap in his schedule. If they only have a few days in that city, one appointment can make a significant difference. 

Caveat Emptor my friend.

[pubic_assistance]

21 minutes ago, Midtownguy99 said:

If you are skeptical on paying a deposit, then that provider is not one you want to see.

Correct. And I never do.

[Midtownguy99]

3 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Correct. And I never do.

Do you hire providers who travel or who are based in your home city? Have you ever cancelled an appointment with short notice on a traveling provider? 

[caramelsub]

I’ll never pay a deposit. But if it’s the first time meeting a provider, and they have good reviews and history on rentmen and on here, and we have discussed what kind of session I want, I don’t mind paying upfront if they insist. I have heard of providers who have been cheated by clients. 

[pubic_assistance]

8 minutes ago, Midtownguy99 said:

Do you hire providers who travel or who are based in your home city? Have you ever cancelled an appointment with short notice on a traveling provider? 

I hire people from out of town and in town and also when I am out of town. In the past 10 years I have never paid anyone a deposit and see no reason to do so except to provide revenue to scammers. I have never cancelled any appointment. But this is why providers need to foster relationships with reliable clients..not spend their whole life dealing with strangers

Edited December 27, 2022 by pubic_assistance

[Midtownguy99]

What do you suggest as a safety net to traveling providers who have several clients who cancel last minute? 

[Midtownguy99]

10 minutes ago, caramelsub said:

I have heard of providers who have been cheated by clients. 

It seems as though it’s getting worse, from what my regular providers have mentioned to me. 

[Milo Janus]

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't the client pay for all travel expenses like airfare, food, etc? 

I've heard where someone paid the airfare for a provider to fly in - and the provider never showed, yet kept the plane ticket to use another time.

[Milo Janus]

3 minutes ago, Midtownguy99 said:

It seems as though it’s getting worse, from what my regular providers have mentioned to me. 

And clients have been cheated by providers, me being one of them!

[Midtownguy99]

4 minutes ago, Milo Janus said:

Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't the client pay for all travel expenses like airfare, food, etc? 

I've heard where someone paid the airfare for a provider to fly in - and the provider never showed, yet kept the plane ticket to use another time.

If the provider is specifically flying in to meet that client, then yes the provider needs to pay for all expenses. I personally cover all travel expenses and gifts. 
 

But I was referring to if a provider already has a city on their travel schedule, for example NYC January 4-8 and I want to make an appointment with them when they are visiting, then I will pay a deposit to secure my time with them. 

[dbar123]

There have been two instances that I’ve paid deposits…. Both times I regretted it. In each case the provider bowed out at the last minute and changed the appointment for another day. If I didn’t have money committed I would have bailed each time. 

[+ azdr0710]

Top Three Forum Topics.....Ever:

1. complaining about provider rates

2. is hiring a "straight" provider ok?

3. paying an upfront deposit or not

 

 

[Midtownguy99]

14 minutes ago, dbar123 said:

There have been two instances that I’ve paid deposits…. Both times I regretted it. In each case the provider bowed out at the last minute and changed the appointment for another day. If I didn’t have money committed I would have bailed each time. 

Those are not good providers IMO. 

[Midtownguy99]

Just now, azdr0710 said:

Top Three Forum Topics.....Ever:

1. complaining about provider rates

2. is hiring a "straight" provider ok?

3. paying an upfront deposit or not

 

 

What’s your take on #3?

[MikeBiDude]

1 hour ago, Midtownguy99 said:

What’s your take on #3?

I don’t do deposits myself. Tried it a few times…never worked to my advantage, providers no-showed.

[MikeBiDude]

1 hour ago, azdr0710 said:

Top Three Forum Topics.....Ever:

1. complaining about provider rates

2. is hiring a "straight" provider ok?

3. paying an upfront deposit or not

 

 

4. Tipping

[Midtownguy99]

1 minute ago, MikeBiDude said:

I don’t do deposits myself. Tried it a few times…never worked to my advantage, providers no-showed.

Did they have only positive reviews? Did you chat with other clients who vouched for them etc? 

[MikeBiDude]

3 minutes ago, Midtownguy99 said:

Did they have only positive reviews? Did you chat with other clients who vouched for them etc? 

I’m not sure it matters…and you’re kind of creating a decision tree here of some sort? IF they have positive reviews I should pay a deposit? And/or/if I’ve chatted with other clients I should pay a deposit?

I’ve been at this one way or another for 35-40 years. I don’t do deposits. Maybe I’ll miss out on an occasional escort who requires it…no worries I respect their business model and move on.

[+ StLouisOct]

I recently arranged to meet an escort when he came to my city in two weeks. He asked for a deposit. I said I can understand his desire to make sure I’ll show up, but I’m an old lawyer who knows that if he gets hit by a truck or otherwise becomes incapacitated, getting a refund will be impossible. I assured him I’d be keeping in touch with him a few times before his arrival to assure him that I’m alive and well and still looking forward to getting together. I did. We did. All worked out well and I’m sure we’ll meet again when he comes back to town.

[MscleLovr]

2 hours ago, MikeBiDude said:

I don’t do deposits. Maybe I’ll miss out on an occasional escort who requires it…no worries I respect their business model and move on.

IMO this is eminently sensible. It’s always best to go by the principle of Caveat Emptor.

Many years ago, I had a first, fun date with a guy. He suggested he join me on a trip so I bought an airfare for him. Unsurprisingly he became difficult to contact. He postponed 2x; I tried to reschedule but to no avail. Luckily the non-refundable ticket I’d bought was not much money. Afterwards I only ever bought fully refundable tickets.