Opinion please

[ncc1701d]

Hi

Need the collective wisdom and experience here about a situation I had.

Did a multi-day hire with an experienced guy that I've seen multiple times over the years, including other multi-day hires. Splurge on a great room in a nice tourist town, airfare, and he was quite excited too with lots of build up chats. Because of our history and trust he received his fee upfront.  Unfortunately after the first day he got some kinda of food poisoning and was not well for the next 2 days. He never offered apology or any kind of compensation for his fees that he already received (like taking some off, offering free time next time, etc).

Should he have? I realized it wasn't his fault per se to get sick, and it was kinda up to me to raise it, but thought with our history he would have (he's a great mature guy, hence my level of trust)???

Thoughts??

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Yes, he should have. 

I think it's only fair to at least have a discussion about a rate decrease for the trip. That he never even addressed it is problematic to me. 

Yes, we all get sick and that can't be helped, but if you're an escort who's down and out on a prepaid trip, offering a discount or future credit would be the professional thing to do.

[robberbaron4u]

Given that you are a long-standing client, you should have a refund; you paid "upfront" for services to be provided, and, by your representation, the provider did not deliver on the services. ""Escorting" is a business, not a charity, and the rules of  "doing business" apply; as a matter of fact, providers and clients often do not observe and follow the rules. At this point, unfortunately, you must consider your monetary loss as an act of charity. Given that he has not offered so much as "I reget in becoming ill and giving you cause for disappointment", I would "cut him loose" as a "steady date". 

[+ purplekow]

Basically, he took two sick days from work.  He did not need to apologize for being sick, but he  did need to express condolences about your time together being interrupted   At  the least, after he was well again, a compensatory offer should have been made.  It would have been awkward for you to bring it up, but as he did not, you  should have done so.   Something along the lines of:  I know you feel bad about not being at your best  for our weened together, but I am confident you will make up for that the next time we get together. would be a way to initiate such a conversation.   

If he gives no indication of any type of remorse for the interrupted weekend and does not see fit to try and make up for it, I believe you should consider it a Lost Weekend and him a Lost Companion.  

Edited August 13, 2022 by purplekow

[Alex93108]

There should be a comp make up session based on terms and conditions suited to you, including flying to your town, if appropriate, plus an upgrade or gift of some sort. A handwritten note to you apologizing, bordering on a love letter. 

If the Four Seasons ran an escort business, that's how it would be done 

[curiousheartguy]

That is why I give them half upfront and half upon completion.......just like any other business transaction.

[guru68]

4 minutes ago, jetlow said:

There should be a comp make up session based on terms and conditions suited to you, including flying to your town, if appropriate, plus an upgrade or gift of some sort. A handwritten note to you apologizing, bordering on a love letter. 

If the Four Seasons ran an escort business, that's how it would be done 

If they did, would they call it "Men for all Seasons?"

[guru68]

I agree with the other responses that he should have at least brought it up. Did you end up bringing it yourself - I wasn't sure from your wording.

[MscleLovr]

I know @ncc1701d that you are reliable in your reports. You’ve been on this forum for as long as I have, which is now measured in decades.

I’m sorry this spoilt your planned trip. I would have expected such an experienced guy to have offered you a weekend free of charge to make it upto you. As he hasn’t offered, I would now suggest that to him. 
 

You have nothing to lose by being direct with him. I hope that he will value you as highly as a client since you have clearly enjoyed his company many times.

PS I sent you a DM

[pubic_assistance]

I am confused.

You paid him for his company and he spent the time with you inspite of the fact he was sick ?

Am I understanding correctly ?

[+ purplekow]

34 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I am confused.

You paid him for his company and he spent the time with you inspite of the fact he was sick ?

Am I understanding correctly ?

Well as the escort had food poisoning, my guess is they spent quite a bit of time apart.  I believe that escorts are not paid for their time but rather for their company and it seems like in this case the company went down the toilet.  

[pubic_assistance]

42 minutes ago, purplekow said:

I believe that escorts are not paid for their time but rather for their company

When my housekeeper is sick I still pay her for the day. She's like family.

If this were a one-off event then yes...he owes you the weekend you paid for. It this is a regular companion the single lost weekend is a gray area. Personally I would say if he's a decent sort of fellow the "relationship" would solidify by letting it go. Asking for a "refund" is tacky. Suggesting you'd love to finally have that weekend together may get a response that he owes you a better time.

I wouldn't "demand" anything

[ncc1701d]

3 hours ago, curiousheartguy said:

That is why I give them half upfront and half upon completion.......just like any other business transaction.

I typically only pay at the end. But given our long standing "relationship" I just wanted to get it over it and enjoy the weekend (or so I thought)

[+ Lucky]

3 hours ago, jetlow said:

If the Four Seasons ran an escort business, that's how it would be done 

Are you sure?

[+ purplekow]

Apples and oranges.  That you chose to offer sick days to someone who cleans your home is nice but not necessary.  Paying someone for services not rendered, which is probably 40 to 50 times that amount you pay your house cleaner is worthy of a discussion at the least.  It seems like that if your house keeper is "like family" she probably offered regrets about not not working and thanks for the payment.  Neither of these things were reported to be  done by the escort. 

Edited August 13, 2022 by purplekow

[ncc1701d]

No I didn't bring it up as it was awkward and he clearly was not feeling 100% still when we parted ways....It is now 2 weeks later and I would have expected a text from him by now (he texts off the clock regularly). Hence posting as I do feel ripped off

Edited August 13, 2022 by ncc1701d

[Skip]

2 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

When my housekeeper is sick I still pay her for the day. She's like family.

If this were a one-off event then yes...he owes you the weekend you paid for. It this is a regular companion the single lost weekend is a gray area. Personally I would say if he's a decent sort of fellow the "relationship" would solidify by letting it go. Asking for a "refund" is tacky. Suggesting you'd love to finally have that weekend together may get a response that he owes you a better time.

I wouldn't "demand" anything

I agree with that approach, but I would hope he would offer a discount for next time. Bummer that it happened but those things happen. There is no good way for this to resolve, it's just a bad situation. He agreed to the meeting and probably was counting on the funds. I guess it boils down to how you feel about him. If it's that great a time, well get over it. If it bothers you that much, then confront him, which will be awkward, or just find another provider. The $$s involved in multiple days and airfare will attrack top talent. You have choices that he probably doesn't have. 

[BtmBearDad]

I would have cut the provider some slack over not mentioning any type of refund or “do over” while he was sick, including when you both departed as you said he was still under the weather. Food poisoning is not fun, so I can imagine his thoughts were more focused on getting thru/over it vs what to do about the weekend that went, literally, down the crapper. 

As you say you have a long-standing relationship with this provider, which includes regular off the clock texting - yet if I’m reading this correctly, neither of you have reached out to the other in the 2 weeks since this unfortunate weekend. You’re miffed because he hasn’t offered any sort of apology, offered any refund or do-over. Fair enough. But, for all you know he could be equally miffed you’ve not checked in on him, how he’s feeling, if he’s fully over it. This why I always say the Three C’s are soooo important! Communication, communication, and more communication. 

I’d reach out to him, ask how his recovery was, express your disappointment in how the weekend turned out, but be clear you understand it wasn’t his fault. See how he responds, and you can determine how best to broach the subject of the refund/do over. I find a bit of cheeky humour often works - something like “looking forward to working off the credit I have now 😜” 
 

Friendships can occur between providers, and hobbyists which is why I wish you had reached out earlier. You’re sitting stewing thinking he only cares the money, he may be stewing thinking you only care about the sex.

Hopefully what sounded like a mutually enjoyable, and beneficial relationship can be rise from the ashes of that weekend. 

 

Good luck! 
BBD 

[Todd Jenkins]

We ALL know that legally 'escorts are paid for their time" yes. But we ALL KNOW what escorts are REALLY paid for - and THEY KNOW IT, TOO. So, this one poster who was like 'well, he spent time with you even though he was sick'....girl, bye. 

Text him and say you want to have a chat about a future trip. Have him call you and then gently say something like "hey. While we're on the topic of future trips, can we talk about the last trip? I KNOW you got sick and that is 100% not your fault, nor mine and of course it was something that could not be avoided. But, I don't feel like I completely got my money's worth in the time shared. I don't want to insult or offend you. But, Is there something we could about that? How do you feel?"

His response will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know. 

I had a regular escort one time that was coming through town. He wanted to see if he could 'crash' at my place and he would give me a very discounted rate for an overnight. 

He arrived. I phucked him. Then, I took him to a wonderful dinner and one of his favorite country artists just happen to be in town that night. Because I work in entertainment, I had the chance to get backstage passes and take him to the show as a guest of the performer. 

To say he was thrilled to go to the show and hang with the artist is an understatement. We got back to my house and the sex was INCREDIBLE! He was on a HIGH from the night. 

This guy is supposedly Mr. Bi/Straight man. The next morning he did not feel 'in the mood' ... I said the following: "hey listen, I get that. I do. But, we are in more of a business relationship than a friend/lover/hookup thing. This isn't a hookup, you aren't my boyfriend. I gave you an amazing night and allowed you to spend the night with me in my bed based on the notion that I would receive sex this morning. So, you can either just charge me half of what you were going to charge or you can go get in the shower and prepare."

He said "you're right. I'm on the job. Headed to the shower, Sir."

We had a fun time and he left. 

 

BOTTOM LINE: He was on the job and he could not perform. He should return at least 50-75% of the money paid.

 

 

[Guest SWFL44]

20 minutes ago, Todd Jenkins said:

We ALL know that legally 'escorts are paid for their time" yes. But we ALL KNOW what escorts are REALLY paid for - and THEY KNOW IT, TOO. So, this one poster who was like 'well, he spent time with you even though he was sick'....girl, bye. 

Text him and say you want to have a chat about a future trip. Have him call you and then gently say something like "hey. While we're on the topic of future trips, can we talk about the last trip? I KNOW you got sick and that is 100% not your fault, nor mine and of course it was something that could not be avoided. But, I don't feel like I completely got my money's worth in the time shared. I don't want to insult or offend you. But, Is there something we could about that? How do you feel?"

His response will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know. 

I had a regular escort one time that was coming through town. He wanted to see if he could 'crash' at my place and he would give me a very discounted rate for an overnight. 

He arrived. I phucked him. Then, I took him to a wonderful dinner and one of his favorite country artists just happen to be in town that night. Because I work in entertainment, I had the chance to get backstage passes and take him to the show as a guest of the performer. 

To say he was thrilled to go to the show and hang with the artist is an understatement. We got back to my house and the sex was INCREDIBLE! He was on a HIGH from the night. 

This guy is supposedly Mr. Bi/Straight man. The next morning he did not feel 'in the mood' ... I said the following: "hey listen, I get that. I do. But, we are in more of a business relationship than a friend/lover/hookup thing. This isn't a hookup, you aren't my boyfriend. I gave you an amazing night and allowed you to spend the night with me in my bed based on the notion that I would receive sex this morning. So, you can either just charge me half of what you were going to charge or you can go get in the shower and prepare."

He said "you're right. I'm on the job. Headed to the shower, Sir."

We had a fun time and he left. 

 

BOTTOM LINE: He was on the job and he could not perform. He should return at least 50-75% of the money paid.

 

 

WHAT HE SAID ⬆️

[cany10011]

My only concern with broaching about making up for the lost time, would be that he would take a mercenary approach and watch the clock on future encounters. I‘d write it off and text him to see if he is on the mend and feeling better. Hopefully, he’ll be able to resume seeing you again for future fun playdates. 

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

2 hours ago, Todd Jenkins said:

This guy is supposedly Mr. Bi/Straight man. The next morning he did not feel 'in the mood' ... I said the following: "hey listen, I get that. I do. But, we are in more of a business relationship than a friend/lover/hookup thing. This isn't a hookup, you aren't my boyfriend. I gave you an amazing night and allowed you to spend the night with me in my bed based on the notion that I would receive sex this morning. So, you can either just charge me half of what you were going to charge or you can go get in the shower and prepare."

He said "you're right. I'm on the job. Headed to the shower, Sir."

If I were that escort, I would never see you again. You had sex twice, and the morning after, he wasn’t up for a third go, so you pressured him into it. 

Maybe you think this is funny or you being butch, but it sounds like you treated this young man as something less than a person. 

[Todd Jenkins]

41 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

If I were that escort, I would never see you again. You had sex twice, and the morning after, he wasn’t up for a third go, so you pressured him into it. 

Maybe you think this is funny or you being butch, but it sounds like you treated this young man as something less than a person. 

LOL!!!! HYSTERICAL! He knew the drill, everything was discussed up front. 
He knew the expectation. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

40 minutes ago, Todd Jenkins said:

LOL!!!! HYSTERICAL! He knew the drill, everything was discussed up front. 
He knew the expectation. 

Nothing like forcing someone to let you fuck them when they’re not in the mood. Not at all rapey. 😂

[BtmBearDad]

6 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Nothing like forcing someone to let you fuck them when they’re not in the mood. Not at all rapey. 😂

Not at all rapey 🙄

50 minutes ago, Todd Jenkins said:

He knew the expectation

⬆️ Doesn’t sound in any way douchey or dehumanising at all. In fact, it sounds like something Weinstein, or Spacey, or Epstein could have said - “I spent the night spending money, they knew what was expected.”