Do any of you live where it's difficult to find gay-accepting doctors?

[Guest]

I'm still on friendly terms with a man I dated some 24 years ago. He was a hunky personal trainer, and we went out for a few months, then he kind of disappeared, and I had no idea what happened. He reached back to me some 5 years ago, and told me that he had succumbed to a life of drugs and the like. He lives in Corpus Christi, Texas, and we did go on a couple of road trips since the reunion. Nothing at all romantic since we got back together (drugs and alcohol really took a toll on him). Well, a little over a year ago, he told me he had blood in his stool. I told him that since he was 50, he should have had a colonoscopy even without the blood in the stool, and that the blood in the stool made this a pressing matter. It took him a year to follow my advice, and sure enough it showed colon cancer.

I told him he needed to get a chest/abdomen/pelvic CT, Chest X-ray, and a blood level for CEA prior to getting surgery for staging and monitoring purposes. His primary care doctor refused to order either, and, for some reason, the surgeon ordered the radiological studies but not the CEA. I asked him to call the American Cancer Society if he didn't believe me, but he said his PCP was the only physician in Corpus Christi who would see someone with HIV, and if he lost her he'd have to drive to San Antonio. So now he's had the surgery, but no CEA was drawn. His physicians apparently refuse to even give him the results of his CT, and he had to wait 3 weeks for an appointment to even discuss it. I told him I felt his physicians' behaviors are unconscionable but he's afraid to lose the only physician who'll treat HIV in his city. I don't even know if it's legal to refuse to talk to your patients on the phone when they ask to speak with you. 

Are any of you in the same boat? Stuck with some god-awful physician because you don't live in a big city? How've you dealt with it?

Edited July 31, 2022 by Unicorn

[Luv2play]

Shouldn't this thread be under Mens Health? 

[+ WilliamM]

32 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

I'm still on friendly terms with a man I dated some 24 years ago. He was a hunky personal trainer, and we went out for a few months, then he kind of disappeared, and I had no idea what happened. He reached back to me some 5 years ago, and told me that he had succumbed to a life of drugs and the like. He lives in Corpus Christi, Texas, and we did go on a couple of road trips since the reunion. Nothing at all romantic since we got back together (drugs and alcohol really took a toll on him). Well, a little over a year ago, he told me he had blood in his stool. I told him that since he was 50, he should have had a colonoscopy even without the blood in the stool, and that the blood in the stool made this a pressing matter. It took him a year to follow my advice, and sure enough it showed colon cancer.

I told him he needed to get a chest/abdomen/pelvic CT, Chest CT, and a blood level for CEA prior to getting surgery for staging and monitoring purposes. His primary care doctor refused to order either, and, for some reason, the surgeon ordered the radiological studies but not the CEA. I asked him to call the American Cancer Society if he didn't believe me, but he said his PCP was the only physician in Corpus Christi who would see someone with HIV, and if he lost her he'd have to drive to San Antonio. So now he's had the surgery, but no CEA was drawn. His physicians apparently refuse to even give him the results of his CT, and he had to wait 3 weeks for an appointment to even discuss it. I told him I felt his physicians' behaviors are unconscionable but he's afraid to lose the only physician who'll treat HIV in his city. I don't even know if it's legal to refuse to talk to your patients on the phone when they ask to speak with you. 

Are any of you in the same boat? Stuck with some god-awful physician because you don't live in a big city? How've you dealt with it?

Honor his situation. It is a two hour drive to San Antonio 

[Guest]

39 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

Shouldn't this thread be under Mens Health? 

Well, it's not really asking for health advice, but the moderators can move it if they wish.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

In this instance, you go where you gotta go to get what you need.  

There's only one person who's going to look out for you...  And that's you.

San Antonio has a decent selection of infectious disease docs, a few of whom are pioneers in their field.  

Corpus is a social pit of a city.  Thankfully, it's not a bad drive to SA for proper treatment.

I'm incredibly sorry he's dealing with fucking idiot docs in CC.  

Edited August 1, 2022 by BenjaminNicholas

[spider]

One of the advantages of living in a big city and using a big medical center. The the existence of tools like MyChart.  My results are there for me to look at - often before I'm home. A small benefit now is that I can download my vaccine records from there right to my phone - saves lugging around the stupid covid card!

But to the OP - so sorry for all this. You one should have to go through something that unprofessional.

[Stormy]

I’m having a problem finding a good doctor period.  No one is taking new patients.  Been doctor shopping since mine retired 

[+ sniper]

Is he on Medicaid? I'm thinking the reason they're not doing this stuff is money.

[Guest]

He has Medicare. I was hoping he could go to MD Anderson, but apparently they want thousands over and above Medicare reimbursement. 

Edited August 3, 2022 by Unicorn

[+ The Big Guy]

Does he have the Medicare part B supplement?  I think MD Anderson accepts them with the supplement.  

[spider]

On 8/1/2022 at 8:42 PM, Stormy said:

I’m having a problem finding a good doctor period.  No one is taking new patients.  Been doctor shopping since mine retired 

Depending on where you are, major medical centers are popping out clinics all over the place and most have primary care doctors, new ones will need to build up a client base. They tend to be younger, but that's OK by me, and I figure if they're part of  major medical center they should be good. The places I'm familiar with all the websites that list the physicians with pictures, where they trained, specialties, etc. The one I'm looking at trained in the US and at a major world-renowned medical center in London. And there's a button to push to make an appointment. There's a new one right around the corner from where I live and I'm about to make the move. And, they're in plan.

[Stormy]

53 minutes ago, spider said:

Depending on where you are, major medical centers are popping out clinics all over the place and most have primary care doctors, new ones will need to build up a client base. They tend to be younger, but that's OK by me, and I figure if they're part of  major medical center they should be good. The places I'm familiar with all the websites that list the physicians with pictures, where they trained, specialties, etc. The one I'm looking at trained in the US and at a major world-renowned medical center in London. And there's a button to push to make an appointment. There's a new one right around the corner from where I live and I'm about to make the move. And, they're in plan.

I finally found a doctor I’m happy with. 

[menaughty]

I have been on a search in Dallas for a gay dermatologist or esthetician. But I haven't found any. At this point I am down to travel to a different if I can find one.

I just want to be more comfortable discussing my issues especially regarding treatments for butt acne or acne scars. The only thing i have done is a butt wax. 

[+ robear]

11 hours ago, menaughty said:

I have been on a search in Dallas for a gay dermatologist or esthetician. But I haven't found any. At this point I am down to travel to a different if I can find one.

I just want to be more comfortable discussing my issues especially regarding treatments for butt acne or acne scars. The only thing i have done is a butt wax. 

A quick Google produces this, which includes Dr. Foshee, Dermatologist (and maybe others).  You probably prefer a male provider, but advertising to an LGBT etc population as she is, you can be sure you're not bringing her anything she hasn't seen before.

https://www.pride214.com/gay-friendly-doctors

"Asking around" is important, too.  Gay friends, other providers (like a PCP), community support resources, hell ask your favorite bartender.

Gay men are hardly under-represented among dermadocs, there are probably dozens in practice in a huge metroplex like DFW.

[+ Lucky]

I remember back around 1980 when we finally had a gay doctor. He was a big jolly guy, very friendly. But it seemed that every visit required a prostate check. We gave up on him.

[+ Pensant]

On 8/1/2022 at 6:42 PM, Stormy said:

I’m having a problem finding a good doctor period.  No one is taking new patients.  Been doctor shopping since mine retired 

You might try concierge medicine.

[Rudynate]

I don't avoid gay healthcare  providers, but I don't seek them out either.  For me, the overriding criterion is "do I like and trust them?"  Im most comfortable with very sharp young people -either sex- the kind of people who are so smart that they leave me a little awe-struck.

[Guest]

22 hours ago, Lucky said:

...He put two crowns in, saying I was getting gold in them...

[samhexum]

22 hours ago, Lucky said:

He put two crowns in, saying I was getting gold in them.

 

8 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

Nah, I'll bet it was more like

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Rudynate said:

I don't avoid gay healthcare  providers, but I don't seek them out either.  For me, the overriding criterion is "do I like and trust them?"  Im most comfortable with very sharp young people -either sex- the kind of people who are so smart that they leave me a little awe-struck.

I agree that it's more important that the physician be gay-friendly than that he be gay. I've never had a gay physician, but I make sure my docs are all gay-friendly. One can pick that up quickly. Expertise is more important.

[samhexum]

27 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

I've never had a gay physician

that you know of...  jeez, the conceit!  Just because none ever hit on you, doesn't mean none were gay.

😁😇😝

[pubic_assistance]

I remember when I was in my 20s and I was first experimenting with gay sex, I had some medical problem that took me to the walk in clinic at the nearby hospital.

I mentioned to the doctor that I had been engaging in penetrative sex with gay men as a bottom. His response was to tell me I was breaking the "natural law and angering God". That's why I was sick.

I reported him to the administration as being unprofessional and they simply assigned me to another doctor.

Although I found this medieval attitude counterproductive, I can't say that I've ever assumed it would happen again and it hasn't.

In 2020 I rather assumed the medical profession had modernized to a point where personal opinions on homosexuals don't affect a professional medical opinion. Sad to think that wouldn't be true, unless we are taking Arkansas or Mississippi.

[+ nycman]

12 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

His response was to tell me I was breaking the "natural law and angering God".

Just curious, what decade was this?

I’m not being snarky. It’s an honest question to further my knowledge.

[pubic_assistance]

11 minutes ago, nycman said:

not being snarky. It’s an honest question to further my knowledge.

Didn't assume you were being snarky.

1991 Syracuse New York

Upstate University Hospital

Edited August 10, 2022 by pubic_assistance

[Jim_n_NYC]

A friend of mine went to a doctor here in NYC (Manhattan) a few years ago (since 2014 for sure) and while he was in the waiting room, heard the Dr make 'fag' comments about him while he was talking to a nurse in the back of the office.  He was pretty upset about it and I told him to report the guy, but he never did.