No Response in 24 Hours

[Boink]

I have a similar situation.  My polite query (a week in advance) to a well respected provider whom I've wanted to hire forever has gone unanswered after almost a week. I don't want to give up on him, but the ball is in his court.  I would like to try again, but how do I word attempt number 2 without sounding like a pest? (I'm sure he saw the first attempt.)  I'm willing to wait a while since we live in the same town. 

I just wish I could get some response, even if it's a no. I hate being left hanging.

 

Edited April 9, 2022 by Boink
spelling

[Jamie21]

17 hours ago, Boink said:

I have a similar situation.  My polite query (a week in advance) to a well respected provider whom I've wanted to hire forever has gone unanswered after almost a week. I don't want to give up on him, but the ball is in his court.  I would like to try again, but how do I word attempt number 2 without sounding like a pest? (I'm sure he saw the first attempt.)  I'm willing to wait a while since we live in the same town. 

I just wish I could get some response, even if it's a no. I hate being left hanging.

 

Ask again. He could have read it, got busy, and then forgotten to reply. Clients contact me by email, text, Twitter DM, Insta message, message on Rentmasseur, WhatsApp, and even by handwritten letter on lilac watermarked headed paper delivered by post (ok maybe I’m exaggerating with that last one)…so messages can go astray or get lost in the noise. 

[Boink]

8 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Ask again. He could have read it, got busy, and then forgotten to reply. Clients contact me by email, text, Twitter DM, Insta message, message on Rentmasseur, WhatsApp, and even by handwritten letter on lilac watermarked headed paper delivered by post (ok maybe I’m exaggerating with that last one)…so messages can go astray or get lost in the noise. 

Thanks, I appreciate that insight.  In my particular sitch, the ONLY way to reach my guy is thru that 'chat' feature on Rentmen. I left him my phone number in an effort to take the negotiation off there.  We'll see...

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 4/9/2022 at 4:09 PM, Jamie21 said:

Ask again. He could have read it, got busy, and then forgotten to reply. Clients contact me by email, text, Twitter DM, Insta message, message on Rentmasseur, WhatsApp, and even by handwritten letter on lilac watermarked headed paper delivered by post (ok maybe I’m exaggerating with that last one)…so messages can go astray or get lost in the noise. 

That’s all true. In my case, I have decided the only way to end the madness is to require people to make a deposit 💸 just to even discuss a session with me. This doesn’t just weed out flakes, but it also helps me keep track of actual booking requests versus the sea of, “Are you available” brigade that rarely pans out.

If someone can’t part with a nominal fee to contact someone who has enough content to prove legible: the person isn’t serious, and they haven’t made up their minds. It shouldn’t be at my expense to help them figure it out when the content is already out there.

I’ve given and given and given, and given some more: my time and energy, day after day, answering responses from “clients” that just never go anywhere. I was on the back end of my tour last week, stopped and posted up in 3 different city markets, and got nothing. I was getting booking requests, but nothing that actually turned into one.

I wonder if there’s other reasons certain people may not have gotten replied back to. I mean, only the escort would know. But…I just know when I’ve referenced certain numbers, they had bad reports. Some guys might not be willing to take bookings from those who do.
 

So if someone has flaked on a couple escorts before, or is trying to contact from a number that has no call ID attached, that person may not respond to you. 

Edited April 10, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[marylander1940]

Is a bit too much waiting 24 hours unless he's out of the country or in a place where he has no connection in his regular phone. 

Escorts even during an overnight appointment like occasionally check their phone in the bathroom to make sure they're not missing clients who want to see them lately. 

@acaressandakiss did you try contacting him on WhatsApp? If he doesn't reply just move on. 

Edited April 11, 2022 by marylander1940

[Guest]

On 4/10/2022 at 7:14 PM, marylander1940 said:

Is a bit too much waiting 24 hours unless he's out of the country or in a place where he has no connection in his regular phone. 

Escorts even during an overnight appointment like occasionally check their phone in the bathroom to make sure they're not missing clients who want to see them lately. 

@acaressandakiss did you try contacting him on WhatsApp? If he doesn't reply just move on. 

I must be an exception to that rule....I regularly go 24 or sometimes even 48 hours without responding to a client's first message. I've got lots of other things to do, even in the comfort of my own country. And I very rarely check client messages during an overnight, unless I'm touring (which makes timely communication more crucial). 

Evidence does suggest that checking your phone all the time is common for escorts-but let's not assume it's universal. I'm grateful for clients that reach out well in advance, are open to a variety of possible times, and ask multiple questions in one message so I can reply to them all at once. These clients are why we have nice things. 

So @acaressandakiss & @Boink I personally think you're doing great to reach out well ahead of time. As others said a week is a very reasonable time frame to follow up after. Also consider: while we all have our preferences for lead times, choosing to respond only when the lead time matches your preference is a choice an escort makes. If a client sends a nice message and I read it too late, I'll at least respond to say "sorry I missed you".

 

[The Dude]

My favorite is when a provider takes his time to finally respond, and when I don't answer right away I receive the "??" text.  Please, girl 🙄

[BuffaloKyle]

37 minutes ago, The Dude said:

My favorite is when a provider takes his time to finally respond, and when I don't answer right away I receive the "??" text.  Please, girl 🙄

My favorite is when they take so long to respond that I've booked someone else and then they get mad and start to accuse me of being a game player then. 

[marylander1940]

2 hours ago, DanteV said:

I must be an exception to that rule....I regularly go 24 or sometimes even 48 hours without responding to a client's first message.

Evidence does suggest that checking your phone all the time is common for escorts-but let's not assume it's universal.

 

I would try to reply saying "I'm busy, let's talk later" right away.

Actually it's pretty common among millennial escorts, not so much among others.

 

[marylander1940]

41 minutes ago, The Dude said:

My favorite is when a provider takes his time to finally respond, and when I don't answer right away I receive the "??" text.  Please, girl 🙄

sending an "?" message never gives a good impression of whoever (client or escort) sent it and nobody likes receiving those messages either.

[Boink]

2 hours ago, DanteV said:

So @acaressandakiss & @Boink I personally think you're doing great to reach out well ahead of time.

 

Thanks. But not so great I ever get to close a deal.

[Guest]

26 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

 

I would try to reply saying "I'm busy, let's talk later" right away.

Actually it's pretty common among millennial escorts, not so much among others.

 

Maybe I wasn't clear-it's not that I'm seeing messages and waiting a while to respond, what I mean is that for better or for worse I often first see a message 24+ hrs after it was sent. 

(ironically, I was very quick to respond to your comment here) 

[Gadfly22]

On 4/2/2022 at 8:08 PM, acaressandakiss said:

I will be traveling to Atlanta this Memorial Day weekend. I became interested in spending time with DeAngelo Jackson. His ad states that he does not accept same day appointments so I texted him last night asking to set an appointment for my trip. He has not responded. How long should I wait before I send him another text. I don't want to be a pest.

You tried to make an appointment 2 MONTHS in advance?!? He probably thinks you're a LUNATIC! 

My advice: Wait till a few days before and text him from a different number. 🙄

[Gadfly22]

On 4/3/2022 at 5:57 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Same day appointments tend to require a provider to stop what he/she is doing and see someone who previously: was not expected just hours earlier. 

No they don't. If you are not available just text back saying so (hopefully in a reasonable amount of time). Easy no? Nobody offended or disrespected and you can both get on with your day. If you are available so much the better - he gets to meet you and you have a new client. And you can even mention to him when you meet that you prefer a little more advance notice before meeting. 

I have mentioned this several times before but I will do so again. I respect all providers who are smart/thoughtful/kind enough to be members of this forum but the few of you who are are the exception not the rule. The overwhelming percentage of providers don't want to hear from you until the day of the meet up. I'm far from the most experienced at this hiring thing but one thing I can say with 100% confidence is that for every provider who takes appointments in advance there are 50 - 100 who say "Don't text me unless you want to meet right now."

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Gadfly22 said:

No they don't. If you are not available just text back saying so (hopefully in a reasonable amount of time). Easy no? Nobody offended or disrespected and you can both get on with your day.

You're obviously right that taking the time to say "sorry, I'm busy today" is not a major interruption to an escort's day, but I don't think  @Jarrod_Uncutwas talking about the experience of texting back saying no, he was talking about the experience of saying yes and following through. To quote: "Same day appointments tend to require a provider to stop what he/she is doing and see someone who previously was not expected "

By definition, this is true. Before, they weren't planning to see you. Now, they're planning to see you. The important question is whether this a desirable way to do business and while maybe 50 or 100:1 involves a dash of hyperbole, you're right that many escorts do business this way. 

Being an irredeemable sceptic, though, I have to ask why this is the case. Is it because it's widely preferable to scheduling in advance, or is it because it's what the "grinderized"  market expects?  Could it be that escorts self-select for amenability to same-day bookings? How many potentially awesome escorts never get going in the biz because this vibe just doesn't work for them?

As you point out, the escorts who frequent this forum are a minority, and so too are the clients here who've posted about reaching out well ahead of time. I strongly suspect that many escorts, if they were presented with the opportunity to regularly schedule bookings in advance, would develop a taste for it. I consider it a privilege to have developed a niche where I can do so, and would feel quite differently about my lifestyle in this industry if it involved mostly last-minute bookings, as was more so the case when I started out. 

 

[Jamie21]

7 hours ago, Gadfly22 said:

but one thing I can say with 100% confidence is that for every provider who takes appointments in advance there are 50 - 100 who say "Don't text me unless you want to meet right now."

Interesting! I must be in the 1 to 2% then who prefer clients to book in advance. If you text me for right now it’s always a “no”. I’m not laying around in bed all day waiting for clients to text. I got stuff to do!

A day’s notice is needed usually, or longer if you definitely want me to be available. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

8 hours ago, Gadfly22 said:

No they don't. If you are not available just text back saying so (hopefully in a reasonable amount of time). Easy no? Nobody offended or disrespected and you can both get on with your day. If you are available so much the better - he gets to meet you and you have a new client. And you can even mention to him when you meet that you prefer a little more advance notice before meeting. 

I have mentioned this several times before but I will do so again. I respect all providers who are smart/thoughtful/kind enough to be members of this forum but the few of you who are are the exception not the rule. The overwhelming percentage of providers don't want to hear from you until the day of the meet up. I'm far from the most experienced at this hiring thing but one thing I can say with 100% confidence is that for every provider who takes appointments in advance there are 50 - 100 who say "Don't text me unless you want to meet right now."

Here’s the #1 problem, clients and escorts will never understand: 

 

When I’m free and available, people rarely ever call me when I am. Never, ever, ever. Just last week, I had a great room in Reno, Nevada facing the strip. I was completely open. 1 client who scheduled in advance (technically not because it was a same day visit) flaked, then another “client” who wanted to meet soon that I was more than willing to fit in, also flaked. 
 

Now: when the 2nd client contacted me, I was at the gym. I cut my gym time short because he asked to come at 4:30, and the other was needing a bit later. But then he made up some lame excuse about a meeting, and that he wanted to move it to morning.

Yet neither sucker-mother fucker showed up. So in that process, it wasn’t just a simple “yes or no” on availability.  I WAS AVAILABLE. But they were on bullshit, when I could have been doing other things. 

What made these 2 bookings so bad was: they were both same day appointments. I was intending to go onto  my next destination, if I had no other bookings. But because I took same day bookings from both, I somewhat modified my schedule to accommodate…and regretted it.

And people wonder why I’ve become so unwavering when it comes to deposits. At this point, I don’t even want to speak to any new clients who don’t have a deposit upfront. I mention it in my very first message. Unfortunately have to blame those who caused the effect, that I can no longer work freely and take peoples word like I used to. I have to do so more efficiently which means, inaccessible. 
 

9 hours ago, Gadfly22 said:

You tried to make an appointment 2 MONTHS in advance?!? He probably thinks you're a LUNATIC! 

My advice: Wait till a few days before and text him from a different number. 🙄

I wouldn’t quite say it to that extent. There’s nothing wrong with booking 2 months out, but that is generally something a long term regular would request. There’s a 99.9% chance, that there’s a “chance” that somebody may look at that and be like…you’re 99% likely going to have some excuse to not show up when the day comes. 

2 hours ago, DanteV said:

You're obviously right that taking the time to say "sorry, I'm busy today" is not a major interruption to an escort's day, but I don't think  @Jarrod_Uncutwas talking about the experience of texting back saying no, he was talking about the experience of saying yes and following through. To quote: "Same day appointments tend to require a provider to stop what he/she is doing and see someone who previously was not expected "

By definition, this is true. Before, they weren't planning to see you. Now, they're planning to see you. The important question is whether this a desirable way to do business and while maybe 50 or 100:1 involves a dash of hyperbole, you're right that many escorts do business this way. 

Being an irredeemable sceptic, though, I have to ask why this is the case. Is it because it's widely preferable to scheduling in advance, or is it because it's what the "grinderized"  market expects?  Could it be that escorts self-select for amenability to same-day bookings? How many potentially awesome escorts never get going in the biz because this vibe just doesn't work for them?

As you point out, the escorts who frequent this forum are a minority, and so too are the clients here who've posted about reaching out well ahead of time. I strongly suspect that many escorts, if they were presented with the opportunity to regularly schedule bookings in advance, would develop a taste for it. I consider it a privilege to have developed a niche where I can do so, and would feel quite differently about my lifestyle in this industry if it involved mostly last-minute bookings, as was more so the case when I started out. 

 

I can’t clearly see the part that is blacked out highlighted…but I was able to read it. 

 

But exactly, just as I stated above what I said. I think at the end of the day, each provider has to “train” clients how they want to be treated. Just like I’m training clients to have a deposit upfront before I do “legwork” for them. It’s actually hard for me too because, I like the spontaneity of the last minute booking, especially when I’m horny. But, too many examples have shown that many times, it doesn’t work. It may work “sometimes”, but that’s not enough to offset that “many times” it doesn’t work. 
 

And last month: I did 2 outcall bookings last minute and they were HORRIBLE. One of the guys had a mean looking dog that wasn’t well trained, an indiscreet apartment, and was not great in bed. The other had a place that was trashy and there was a cat…which unless I take medicine a couple hours prior: I get allergies. Which happened, while we were fucking 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

I also want to stop the idea that clients can just barge their way into my schedule without any sort of coordination. Where are people learning these bad habits from? For example: twice this week I’ve had clients just contact me and “name a time” without even asking what my availability is. Like first of all: you don’t even know where I am, or how far away it will take you to arrive. Plus there isn’t a consideration for me to present or accommodate my schedule. If I call a client out the blue and ask him right now to meet tomorrow at 1 pm, 100% of the time it will be a “no I’m busy”. But they think we can???

Someone texted me this morning, before I’m even awake: asking about a 2 p.m. appointment. I sent him my instructions, he doesn’t follow it. Then calls me without my permission. So disrespectful!! I didn’t ask him to call, I asked him to do a specific course of action. It’s for that reason, that I need a system in place.

Being I’m pushing 35 y/o in a few months, I’m ready to start doing things differently. I’m not 22 and 28 anymore. 

Edited April 14, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Hlparx]

16 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Interesting! I must be in the 1 to 2% then who prefer clients to book in advance. If you text me for right now it’s always a “no”. I’m not laying around in bed all day waiting for clients to text. I got stuff to do!

A day’s notice is needed usually, or longer if you definitely want me to be available. 

I wonder if this is a US v. Europe thing.  Escorts that I've seen in Europe have tended to emphasize at least one day's notice.  In the US, there does seem to be more "day of."

From the client side, I absolutely prefer to book in advance.  From my perspective, that increases the likelihood that I can be seen at preferred time or, if not, that we can reach some sort of mutually agreeable time.  I assume that other people have things going on in their lives and messaging them two hours (or even five hours) is asking them to rearrange their lives on short notice.  Personally, it's the rare friend that I'll rearrange my plans for on two hours' notice.  

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I just want to add something to this, without having to create a new topic…

Despite everyone giving input, it’s not possible without the response of said person. It takes 2 to make a meeting. If a person isn’t man enough to respond, or if another isn’t man enough to send another response…then F it.

I know someone (won’t name who) right now, on the forum…who hasn’t bothered to return my message in over a MONTH. And I know he got it. Does it feel a little dubious? Yes. But am I losing sleep over it? Not. Life moves on. If someone is busy acting fake and phony, it’s just a sign that there’s other people out there who can appreciate my time more. 
 

Part of the dichotomy in being a provider, is I don’t do fake and phoniness. Yet we deal with it all the time. Escorts can be fake, clients can be fake. It’s so much fakery. And by being fake, I mean…not being transparent. Being evasive, saying one thing and doing something completely contrary, not being reliable in situations, etc.

I did 2 “gay events” over the past few months, and even though they were fun and lucrative experiences, there was so much fakery. Everyone from the event coordinators to the performers to the audience. At the same time, it’s a revelation to realize: some environments, some “personas”, some connections were never designed to be real in the first place. Being “imaginary” is what made Disney World so popular after all. The faker, the better. You avoid the burden of reality and being real. 

Only thing I can say is, perhaps a provider may have their own things to contend with, so perhaps not responding it’s their way of dealing with it (again, assuming #1 the message was even received. Which is why I said earlier, another person has to be man enough to message AGAIN) However, if it’s clear the person can’t be bothered, be done with it. 

[Rudynate]

On 4/2/2022 at 5:08 PM, acaressandakiss said:

I will be traveling to Atlanta this Memorial Day weekend. I became interested in spending time with DeAngelo Jackson. His ad states that he does not accept same day appointments so I texted him last night asking to set an appointment for my trip. He has not responded. How long should I wait before I send him another text. I don't want to be a pest.

Things that you book too far in advance have a way of falling through.   I think it's best not to try to schedule too far out.   

One time,  I scheduled weeks in advance with a high-profile provider.  Sure enough, I came down with a bad cold - the kind that can hold on for weeks and weeks.  I didn't see how I could be sure that I could make our date and be fully recovered and not putting him at risk of catching my cold - so I cancelled - probably 3 -4 weeks out.  He was very unhappy with me because he had passed up other business.  I thought having cancelled that far out would enable him to schedule other clients.  He didn't see it that way - and we never repaired the misunderstanding. 

My lesson from that was not to try to schedule too far out.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

My preference is to book a couple of days in advance. Particularly as a bottom I want to be sure I'm prepped and ready to go by watching my diet and making time to clean out. 

When traveling I prefer to start reaching out a week or so in advance, since I generally have tighter time frames. Despite that, when we just went to Montreal, we had two providers flake on us. 

The first was a couple. We had a penciled in evening and general time about a week in advance. I confirmed that time and place the day before. And then three hours before we were to meet, they canceled because one of them "forgot" and invited a friend over. Then they wanted to reschedule. We passed. We did end up finding a guy who was available for that evening, but I had long wanted to hook up with a couple so that fantasy is still on hold. 

Then we booked a pretty well-known guy. Again, conversation starts a couple of days out. Confirmed the day before. We had plans to do a tour that morning so he told me to text him when we were done. I did. Waited an hour. Texted him again. Nothing for five hours when he responds that his friend is having a crisis and asking if we can meet much later that evening. We passed. I don't know if the issue was real but we do our best to treat every provider we meet with professionalism and kindness. If we're hosting, we'll ask if they have a beverage preference. Flakey providers and clients make the rest of us look bad and foster mistrust. It's a bummer. 

[rvwnsd]

I've contacted providers a couple of weeks out when traveling with mixed results. Some guys reply right away, while others don't. When I'm trying to book that far in advance, I don't follow up again for a week or more. 

[coriolis888]

On 4/12/2022 at 10:20 PM, The Dude said:

My favorite is when a provider takes his time to finally respond, and when I don't answer right away I receive the "??" text.  Please, girl 🙄

"Don't do as I do, do as I say" says the escort with that behavior.  

[coriolis888]

On 4/14/2022 at 12:54 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

snip snip - - 

Someone texted me this morning, before I’m even awake: asking about a 2 p.m. appointment. I sent him my instructions, he doesn’t follow it. Then calls me without my permission. So disrespectful!! I didn’t ask him to call, I asked him to do a specific course of action. It’s for that reason, that I need a system in place.

Being I’m pushing 35 y/o in a few months, I’m ready to start doing things differently. I’m not 22 and 28 anymore. 

Did your "instructions" advise the potential client to send a deposit to you (that you said is your new policy) prior to making arrangements to meet or set an appointment?  

Things work both ways; just like you get burned by no show clients, clients also get burned by paying in advance of a meeting and having a provider pull a no show.  

 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

19 hours ago, coriolis888 said:

Did your "instructions" advise the potential client to send a deposit to you (that you said is your new policy) prior to making arrangements to meet or set an appointment?  

Things work both ways; just like you get burned by no show clients, clients also get burned by paying in advance of a meeting and having a provider pull a no show.  

 

 

I can’t recall the particular situation I was referring to. I think I remember though. I believe I did send it over at the time. 
 

However I had a couple other bookings after that who didn’t mind fronting the deposit. Even though I can understand someone being burned, based on what I’ve had done and not done: it’s important for me to at least mention a deposit. Some people do go ghost and don’t reply when I do, but I try to follow up with them again to see if they have any concerns about it. Most times it helps, other times they just say nothing. Which to me tends to imply they aren’t really viewing me professionally, and could just as likely fall thru or haven’t fully made up their minds.