What do you do when you start to feel discouraged?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

This isn’t to say I’m not grateful for the great clients and fun times I do have, and I know I probably have it fairly ok for the most part in the big scheme of things. But by discouraged, it’s just from a general feeling that I’m still not really getting “ahead” and the biz right now just feels so stagnant. I know part of it is my market and the other part being I haven’t had a “private” incall place in awhile. So it’s just been hotels and outcalls. 
 

I’d like to get those things done, but I’m not getting enough bookings each day to make any changes. On my last tour to a city, I had 3 regulars and 1 newbie during a week long visit at end of June. On paper that’s not bad, but over a course of 7 days, it’s really not enough to get anything “done”. It was enough for essentials, bills and entertainment, but nothing like, “hey I’m going to go rent a studio or office space for the next few months“ type of Money. 
 

Not to mention, the sites now are so restrictive to me. So much stuff is being censored out, feel like you can’t really be yourself. They’re also not doing much to build a network of dependability between us and clients. And with sites like Craigslist and backpage, there’s not enough hits coming out of the smaller towns. It seems a all the action is centered in the bigger cities. Add to the fact, hotels have now gone way up, and in some repressed markets, incalls is the only business you’re going to get. 
 

I’m fortunate that I’ve got a “network” of regulars now, but they aren’t necessarily “sugar daddies”. Plus I like to handle my own. But I wouldn’t mind building up more of a base. It just seems like there’s a shortage of clients especially with apps and more guys on the market. Also seemed like things were a little busier last summer than it is this summer.

Are there any new reputable sites that have come up? What’s been the vibe in your city?

[CuriousByNature]

I've never operated a business, so my advice may be misplaced.  But I don't think it ever hurts to reevaluate your business model and determine where improvements might be made.  I think many of the most successful business owners in any sector have reached their levels of success by recognizing their own particular gifts and developing a niche where they can confidently exceed clients' expectations in relation to all other potential competition.  That said, even though things are reopening, it remains a strange time for many people in this pandemic climate - even compared to last summer when things were looking quite good in many places before the third wave hit.  So it might be wise to see how things naturally change with the increasing rates of vaccinations before making any significant adjustments to your business model.  I know it is easy for me to say, but try not to be too discouraged.  And if you find it helpful to do some other part-time work to augment your business earnings, there is absolutely no shame in that.  You'll get through this - just remain open to possibilities and opportunities as they come.

Edited July 7, 2021 by CuriousByNature

[jeezifonly]

You know, when I saw the topic, I thought, wow! we would share some introspection, and acknowledge the common realization of the rapid changes taking place all around us, in society and our physical environment, and how we’re all struggling to not feel overwhelmed by it.

 

Then I saw the byline.

[Jamie21]

When my business goes quiet I just think it will get busier again, and it always does. The pandemic has had an impact for sure but that’s out of my control. I focus on what I can control which is my attitude, diet, exercise, education and I keep promoting my service. I know if I do all those things I’m making the best opportunity for myself.
 

If I get down, which is unavoidable sometimes, then I find exercise helps. But really, it’s such a pleasure to do this work and meet lovely people and give them a great time that I can’t be too down can I? I’m reminded of the phrase  “do what you love; love what you do”. 

[DR FREUD]

Jamie, why not make your website and just for fans signatures function as links?  If I have to copy and paste or hand type the info into my address bar I tend never to do it.  If I can click and go then that's another story.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

@CuriousByNature I’ve definitely done some reevaluating. But at the same time I do that periodically anyway. The issue in my market is I’m just limited. Like just today, someone contacts me the day of at noon asking if I can meet at 2:30 (over RentMen messenger at that). I don’t really host and when I do, it’s definitely not short notice. This happens without fail atleast once every week: Someone contacts for me to host or go to them without much notice, and when I try to arrange, it doesn’t workout.
 

I wish I could just take clients anytime, like a barbershop and just be available…but there’s a difference between having 2 clients a week versus 2 clients per hour. Therefore, it’s just not workable to always be available. 
 

People expect us to have it all together: a place to host, a phone to be contacted on, and available right away. But they’re not doing their part to make it easy. I can easily host someone: if they contact with notice like a normal person. Who the fuck else do you just call out the blue and ask to come over? This is not a salon, this is someone’s home or hotel. It doesn’t take precision planning. A simple email/text: Hi I see you’re in town/available, I would like to visit you. What’s a DAY AND TIME OF DAY we can work out?
 

And I just got an email today from my bank saying they aren’t going to refund the $93 that I spent on a hotel, after 2 clients failed to show up after I clicked “book” on Priceline, and I had no other reason to go to the hotel in May. 
 

But it’s things like that why I won’t double back, every client who wants me to host is going to need deposit until I get situated back into my private incall space. And on my last trip, I had a hotel for 3 nights and it was all just outcalls. 

Edited July 8, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

11 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

When my business goes quiet I just think it will get busier again, and it always does. The pandemic has had an impact for sure but that’s out of my control. I focus on what I can control which is my attitude, diet, exercise, education and I keep promoting my service. I know if I do all those things I’m making the best opportunity for myself.
 

If I get down, which is unavoidable sometimes, then I find exercise helps. But really, it’s such a pleasure to do this work and meet lovely people and give them a great time that I can’t be too down can I? I’m reminded of the phrase  “do what you love; love what you do”. 

That’s facts. And I’m still doing my workout routine and stuff. Right now, the only reason I’m in afloat in my local area now is because I have a regular who gives me a sum every other week or 2. 
 

But right now, it’s just a deeper level of discouragement that exercise can’t assist lol. I need things to get better, and people to do better. I also think that I may be pushed to move out of the Kansas City/Saint Louis market this year if the deal for my private incall space doesn’t pan out. At the same time, state to state and city to city, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of  difference except in a few select towns where I know is consistently solid for biz.
 

But I’m also tempted to no longer offer incalls at all when in Kansas City or Saint Louis, and only deal with advanced or same day notice outcalls only. Like I say, I’m not like “starving” or doing “bad”, I just want to be on another level.

Edited July 8, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

I guess it makes it difficult if you don’t have a place to do in calls from. It must restrict business. Most of my work is in calls.
I’m based in London so it’s a very big market, but also there’s a lot of competition. I’ve noticed far fewer international clients since the pandemic started. It’s terrible because I had some lovely regular international clients. I hope they comeback. 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

I guess it makes it difficult if you don’t have a place to do in calls from. It must restrict business. Most of my work is in calls.
I’m based in London so it’s a very big market, but also there’s a lot of competition. I’ve noticed far fewer international clients since the pandemic started. It’s terrible because I had some lovely regular international clients. I hope they comeback. 

 

It does restrict business to a degree, but at the same time…the days I actually do book set aside a day or 2 to do incalls, only 1 person may show up. I thought about maybe doing something like, I host on a certain day each week (perhaps, “hump” day”), but it doesn’t ensure that I won’t just be posted up in a hotel if nobody can make it. I also have to ensure everyone isn’t trying to meet at the same time, or something like 1 pm if I can’t get in until 3 pm. 
 

I’ve had private incall space on more than a couple of occasions, but being I was traveling every month it was counterproductive. I liked being busy traveling, but since it was dead at home…I’d have to send back a chunk of what I made on the go back, AND pay for expenses while traveling. 
 

So I gave that up and stuck with the travel lifestyle, but the caveat is coming back home to a place I can’t host from…and in the Midwest, just about everybody wants the provider to host. 

[HotWhiteThirties]

Sometimes there comes a time when it's time to move on from things we are chronically discouraged by. However, if we are chronically discouraged by almost everything and circumstances in life, it might be time to consider professional help. We can often project our discouragement on the actions and behaviors of others, but the truth is, we have no ability to control them. It comes down to coping within ourselves, and there's no shame in seeking the help of a professional to guide us through that. Even if - or perhaps especially if - it's related to our work. 

Edited July 9, 2021 by HotWhiteThirties

[Jarrod_Uncut]

4 hours ago, HotWhiteThirties said:

Sometimes there comes a time when it's time to move on from things we are chronically discouraged by. However, if we are chronically discouraged by almost everything and circumstances in life, it might be time to consider professional help. We can often project our discouragement on the actions and behaviors of others, but the truth is, we have no ability to control them. It comes down to coping within ourselves, and there's no shame in seeking the help of a professional to guide us through that. Even if - or perhaps especially if - it's related to our work. 

I can concur with that. I don’t think there’s anything necessarily to be ashamed about if it does comes down to counseling or therapy. I’ve known clients to have done it, and I have even consulted into it myself. 
 

However, I think at times one can have a right to feel discouraged or discontent with the state of things, especially as it surrounds their profession or professional circumstances. Hell, when I hear my friends voice gripes about their work…I usually say that’s why I’ve left the workforce and haven’t looked back. 
 

I think it’s good to understand where someone is coming from though, before defaulting to it being the fault of the person. Let’s take this real life scenario for example: I’ve been back home from tour since Sunday. Other than my trusted regular “sponsor”, I’ve had 0 bookings. And now it’s Friday. 0. And this week alone I’ve had a handful of obligations/bills/repair stuff to meet. Meanwhile, my RentMen ad that SHOULD be generating prospects, for one reason or another either can’t align at the same time or just don’t follow thru.

And don’t even get me started on RentMasseur. Even though I do meet a lot of clients from it, 3/5 of the calls from it are a joke. I didn’t even bother renewing my ad yet because I know mentally I’m not ready to deal with it. Many of my blacklisted clients come from RentMasseur, but being that RentMen doesn’t get as much bookings in this region, I pretty much have to rely on RentMasseur as a co-producer to my RentMen ad, because my RentMen ad alone won’t generate enough business. 
 

If it were 5 years ago, I would not do RentMasseur, I’d be doing Men4Rent and Rentboy and the occasional posting on backpage if neither site was particularly busy in the specified area.

[BostonDadType]

No offense but it seems like every posting you make here is negative and dramatic to the extreme.    I'm not in your area but if I was and reading this website to get ideas on who to hire, I'd read your posts and think you're full of negativity and drama and most likely pass you over as a potential hire.    If the drama and negativity is part of your escort persona you may want to rethink how you're presenting yourself to potential clients.

[Jamie21]

52 minutes ago, BostonDadType said:

No offense but it seems like every posting you make here is negative and dramatic to the extreme.    I'm not in your area but if I was and reading this website to get ideas on who to hire, I'd read your posts and think you're full of negativity and drama and most likely pass you over as a potential hire.    If the drama and negativity is part of your escort persona you may want to rethink how you're presenting yourself to potential clients.

That’s put constructively. I agree. Clients sometimes have negativity and drama enough in their lives and they book a session to get away from all that. It’s important as a provider to present a positive and optimistic outlook even if behind the mask you may not feel that way. 

[+ Topseed]

Echoing jeezifonly: I too hoped for a larger discussion.

If that’s possible, my suggestion: Live outside yourself. Volunteer.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, BostonDadType said:

No offense but it seems like every posting you make here is negative and dramatic to the extreme.    I'm not in your area but if I was and reading this website to get ideas on who to hire, I'd read your posts and think you're full of negativity and drama and most likely pass you over as a potential hire.    If the drama and negativity is part of your escort persona you may want to rethink how you're presenting yourself to potential clients.

No offense taken (and if you have to start off with “no offense”, you automatically know that what you’re about to say has the potential to offend, so why even defend yourself 🤷🏾‍♂️ 

That said, you’re entitled to your opinion. But if having a discussion about certain things in the business on a discussion forum is unpleasant to you, then perhaps YOU want to change your perspective on it. That’s what it’s all about. 
 

Who you hire is who you hire, but I don’t have these discussions in my ad…so that part you’re saying is irrelevant. It’s like saying tourists will avoid going to a state just because a city council meeting got heated. Ummm, no. That’s a city council meeting, and this is a message board. I would hope one would not make decisions solely off what’s posted here.

Edited July 9, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

That’s put constructively. I agree. Clients sometimes have negativity and drama enough in their lives and they book a session to get away from all that. It’s important as a provider to present a positive and optimistic outlook even if behind the mask you may not feel that way. 

That is true too. But also too, one shouldn’t gaslight the matter and pretend like clients don’t bring negativity and drama into our lives as well. It may not be direct, but I can’t tell you how often I may have been having a fairly okay day, just going with the flow, when a client contacts me to arrange a session and then becomes dismissive or unreliable in the process. Next thing I know, I’m in a not so great mood. 
 

That said, I am getting better with it. Like I said about the one strike rule (and others can call it negative or dramatic all they want, but for me I call it a solution to a reoccurring issue). Instead of allowing these guys to push me day by day, I’m not wavering from deposits and I’m taking great pride in blocking and cutting off certain clients.

One the other day, a repeat client…called my phone over and over first thing in morning like he’s lost his mind. I called him back, no answer. Then text him. He wanted a session. But he was pushy about scheduling. I told him he needs to be patient as I was in the middle of something and couldn’t drive to him until after a certain time that afternoon. He goes back and forth between doing it or not doing it, then tries rebook and asks if I have meth and he’ll want to meet. 
 

But I’m the one with the drama? Right.

Edited July 9, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, Topseed said:

Echoing jeezifonly: I too hoped for a larger discussion.

If that’s possible, my suggestion: Live outside yourself. Volunteer.

I already have a full life and schedule. I get the jist of your suggestion, but the way it comes off is as if I have nothing else going on. You say volunteer like I have too much time on my hands. And that’s not representative of me. As I type this, I’m busy and in the middle of something. I’m making phone calls on one ear, talking to a clerk with the other, and typing this up. That’s why sometimes I go on random breaks from the forum because I end up too busy. And it’s not just chasing clients that keeps me busy either.
 

But I get it. Whenever I have these discussions, it’s always going to re-direct to me and what I’m doing/not doing versus finding ways to improve the culture. That’s why things are slow to change. 

Edited July 9, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[BostonDadType]

31 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

That is true too. But also too, one shouldn’t gaslight the matter and pretend like clients don’t bring negativity and drama into our lives as well. It may not be direct, but I can’t tell you how often I may have been having a fairly okay day, just going with the flow, when a client contacts me to arrange a session and then becomes dismissive or unreliable in the process. Next thing I know, I’m in a not so great mood. 
 

That said, I am getting better with it. Like I said about the one strike rule (and others can call it negative or dramatic all they want, but for me I call it a solution to a reoccurring issue). Instead of allowing these guys to push me day by day, I’m not wavering from deposits and I’m taking great pride in blocking and cutting off certain clients.

One the other day, a repeat client…called my phone over and over first thing in morning like he’s lost his mind. I called him back, no answer. Then text him. He wanted a session. But he was pushy about scheduling. I told him he needs to be patient as I was in the middle of something and couldn’t drive to him until after a certain time that afternoon. He goes back and forth between doing it or not doing it, then tries rebook and asks if I have meth and he’ll want to meet. 
 

But I’m the one with the drama? Right.

Do you ever think that your repeat client could very well be a member of this forum and reading what you write?    This is not a "closed" "Escorts only" forum - in fact it's more populated with clients I'd say - so every time you write something you're saying it to your current and most important your future clients.   "One the other day, a repeat client…called my phone over and over first thing in morning like he’s lost his mind. I called him back, no answer. Then text him. He wanted a session. But he was pushy about scheduling. I told him he needs to be patient as I was in the middle of something and couldn’t drive to him until after a certain time that afternoon. He goes back and forth between doing it or not doing it, then tries rebook and asks if I have meth and he’ll want to meet. "

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, BostonDadType said:

Do you ever think that your repeat client could very well be a member of this forum and reading what you write?    This is not a "closed" "Escorts only" forum - in fact it's more populated with clients I'd say - so every time you write something you're saying it to your current and most important your future clients.   "One the other day, a repeat client…called my phone over and over first thing in morning like he’s lost his mind. I called him back, no answer. Then text him. He wanted a session. But he was pushy about scheduling. I told him he needs to be patient as I was in the middle of something and couldn’t drive to him until after a certain time that afternoon. He goes back and forth between doing it or not doing it, then tries rebook and asks if I have meth and he’ll want to meet. "

Guess what? If that person reads it…great. What does it matter anyway? I’m not calling anyone out by name, number and address. People on here talk about providers all the time. And maybe then that person could be aware of how ‘not’ to book a provider. Matter of fact, I would tell him that myself…and will if I see him again. Nothing wrong with communication. 
 

My thing with what you’re saying is: it’s not making much better of the discussion. Question is: are you really vested in sharing and coming up with a solution, understanding the topic at hand and getting an idea of what can be done to improve. or are you just talking shit out of your ass? Because if it’s the latter, you can’t be disconcerted if I don’t eagerly take your advice. 

Edited July 9, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

I have difficult clients too. Today, this morning, I had a guy ask if I was available at 4:30pm this afternoon. I replied within 20 minutes to say yes I was available…..then…no reply. Nothing. So I hold the time for a couple of hours and then someone else books at 4. So I take that. In meantime I’m asked for an outcall at 9pm. I said yes and the time was booked. I planned my day then around that later meeting. Then, 3 hours before the evening booking the client messaged me to say he was delayed and could we reschedule to tomorrow? So I replied and gave my availability tomorrow….since then I heard nothing.

So I’m being messed around, my plans change regularly at short notice. But it’s part of the job and I’ll not let it annoy me. I’m sure the clients will be in touch eventually and I won’t be annoyed with them. If I allowed this to upset me I’d be regularly irritated. So I just accept it as part of the job.
 

There’s good and bad parts to any job and the trick is to turn the bad parts around so they work for you. I like the flexibility the work brings and so that works both ways, sometimes the flexibility means I get clients cancelling. Instead of being angry at it I now view it as an opportunity to do something else. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

I have difficult clients too. Today, this morning, I had a guy ask if I was available at 4:30pm this afternoon. I replied within 20 minutes to say yes I was available…..then…no reply. Nothing. So I hold the time for a couple of hours and then someone else books at 4. So I take that. In meantime I’m asked for an outcall at 9pm. I said yes and the time was booked. I planned my day then around that later meeting. Then, 3 hours before the evening booking the client messaged me to say he was delayed and could we reschedule to tomorrow? So I replied and gave my availability tomorrow….since then I heard nothing.

So I’m being messed around, my plans change regularly at short notice. But it’s part of the job and I’ll not let it annoy me. I’m sure the clients will be in touch eventually and I won’t be annoyed with them. If I allowed this to upset me I’d be regularly irritated. So I just accept it as part of the job.
 

There’s good and bad parts to any job and the trick is to turn the bad parts around so they work for you. I like the flexibility the work brings and so that works both ways, sometimes the flexibility means I get clients cancelling. Instead of being angry at it I now view it as an opportunity to do something else. 
 

Yup, stuff like you mentioned tends to occur throughout my week. Thanks for sharing. Except in my case, when I’m on tour it can be fairly easy to replace lost bookings. In a hotel, hosting, or just ready to go. And usually always centrally located. My situation at home is a bit different, 1 cancelled booking may be all I get that day, or in a case like this week: the whole week. Thank lucky 🏳️‍🌈 🌈  stars for my trusted reliable regulars.

That said, I don’t like when someone minimize these things to mere complaints and negativity. Before someone tries to judge, they should at least try to better get an understanding. Some people out in this world don’t believe that there’s a such thing as a disadvantaged market. A person can have all the right things going, looks, personality, marketing. But if they live in an area where not enough people support it…shit out of luck. 

Not to mention, I live in a heavily a Trump supported state. I still see Trump stuff despite the election is over and done. And outside of the select few closed knit enclaves of wealth In the 2 big cities and recreational/lake goer types in the country, Missouri is a relatively “tight” state when it comes to money. The only business’s I see out here really getting lots of customers are auto repair shops, Walmart, and BBQ restaurants. But speciality shops, and sex workers ain’t making big hits out here. The guys I’ve come across: they do this for “fun” or extra money.

So that’s what’s important. People are quick to pop off and point the finger, but they don’t have a real insight into what someone may be up against. Not that I expect it though. At this point, I’m just going to get thru this by marketing my ass off in other markets. I’ve already came up with a tour schedule today, I know that’s just the formula I need to get out of this rut.

 

[RandyVue]

Have you considered taking a break from the business? Just from reading your many posts, it seems that you have more negative feelings about the business than positive ones. Why not take 6 months or a year off and try something else? You may find that you don’t even miss the business.
You may find a passion for something else! Change can be an incredible, life changing thing.

I quit the business yrs ago and I didn’t miss it once. It’s something to consider

[jeezifonly]

My stars! The minuscule details that plague this gorgeous man, each and every word of every conversation haunting his every tap of the keyboard!! 

If only there was something that could help relieve the constant torment…

 

https://weedmaps.com/news/2020/03/missouri-weed-for-beginners/

 

 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/9/2021 at 8:44 PM, RandyVue said:

Have you considered taking a break from the business? Just from reading your many posts, it seems that you have more negative feelings about the business than positive ones. Why not take 6 months or a year off and try something else? You may find that you don’t even miss the business.
You may find a passion for something else! Change can be an incredible, life changing thing.

I quit the business yrs ago and I didn’t miss it once. It’s something to consider

It sounds like an easy solution, but similar to some people who are stuck in demanding careers, I can't just take a a long break. I may be putting out the wrong impression that I only have negative feelings about the biz, but reality is a good part of my being and finances revolve around it. It's not something I can just drop and walk away from. I need a few G's 💵 and several months, to take a break and make a transition lol. I am not ashamed to say I am reliant on my client base, even if some think I don't appreciate them.

I do regularly take mini breaks from the biz. Each month, I Covid freeze my ads on RentMen and RentMasseur (So glad they introduced that last year). Sometimes it's just for a weekend, other times it's been for 2 weeks. 

That said, I do think about other jobs I can do that align with my interests. But it's hard to understand that I really don't have a lot of time to do that. If i need $500, I know how to get $500. But finding the right job, going on interviews, etc etc...that can take months even year or 2. Meanwhile, there's bills and obligations to be paid today. 

Otherwise, I'm not too much looking for advice on how to get out of the business, moreso what ways others pass the time or stay productive when their escort spirit is not at its best. But thanks though.

Edited July 11, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

4 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

It sounds like an easy solution, but similar to some people who are stuck in demanding careers, I can't just take a a long break. I may be putting out the wrong impression that I only have negative feelings about the biz, but reality is a good part of my being and finances revolve around it. It's not something I can just drop and walk away from. I need a few G's 💵 and several months, to take a break and make a transition lol. I am not ashamed to say I am reliant on my client base, even if some think I don't appreciate them.

I do regularly take mini breaks from the biz. Each month, I Covid freeze my ads on RentMen and RentMasseur (So glad they introduced that last year). Sometimes it's just for a weekend, other times it's been for 2 weeks. 

That said, I do think about other jobs I can do that align with my interests. But it's hard to understand that I really don't have a lot of time to do that. If i need $500, I know how to get $500. But finding the right job, going on interviews, etc etc...that can take months even year or 2. Meanwhile, there's bills and obligations to be paid today. 

Otherwise, I'm not too much looking for advice on how to get out of the business, moreso what ways others pass the time or stay productive when their escort spirit is not at its best. But thanks though.

Great insight. It’s difficult to go from sex work to mainstream work. I don’t want to go back to working for someone else doing 9 to 5 etc. But it is more stable and reliable. 

For me when my massage/escort work is quiet I do writing and voluntary work. Plus loads of tons in the gym lol. I also do porn on justforfans which brings in some regular revenue. I’ve around 50 full length movies on the platform which attracts subscribers.

I think the best thing is to have other activities that can give you income aside from meeting clients. The writing started out as a hobby now I make a little income from it but maybe one day it will be more.