What do you do when you start to feel discouraged?

[HoleTrainer]

1) optimize my business model. If most clients are requesting Incall and I don’t have one, I do WHATEVER it takes to make one available.  I didn’t have my own apartment when I moved to SF and it stunted my business SIGNIFICANTLY.  I got a full-time hourly wage job just so I could try to eventually get my own apartment.  When I moved into my current studio, I actually had no idea if I was going to be able to afford the upkeep or not.  I had my day job but it was going sour with the pandemic and I could tell it would end soon.  I used the job to get approved for the apartment.  Once the job was over, I had to figure out how to make it work.  This meant being more flexible about my rates at first, and accepting short notice bookings even if it meant interrupting something else that I was doing.  This was annoying but my period of needing to do this to make it work lasted less than six months.  Within 3 months I developed regulars who came to my Incall once a week (at a lower rate than I wanted, but no big deal- my rent was getting paid).  And within another 3 months after that, negotiating on my rate was no longer necessary.  In fact I was able to raise my rate significantly.  Being able to offer Incall consistently has developed me good regulars and steady income.  Vast majority of this business is Incall, so whenever I’m advising ANY escort complaining about not enough business, this is the first topic I explore with them as well.  If most of the demand is for Incall, it’s our job as a full time escort to figure out how to be able to provide the logistics to meet that demand if we want that steady money.  We aren’t entitled to clients who want to see us in exactly the manner we would prefer- we have to adjust our business models to accommodate enough of the market demand until we find a place in the market where we are satisfied with our income- and yes this means having enough to contribute regularly to grow a 1-6 month emergency fund too, so that the natural slow periods are less frustrating.  Did I enjoy working for a company full time after 10 years of working for myself independently?  Fuck no!  But I did what I had to do to get it done and now I have my Incall and business is great.  Great doesn’t mean I see 2 clients a day at home, but that I have enough business to cover the expenses, my personal needs, and invest in my business and my retirement, after hustling harder than I wanted for a period of time to make that happen.

2) invest in myself- this can happen in the form of gym, therapy, massage, a new haircut, new sex toys, an updated photoshoot, new clothes, etc etc.  Having an emergency fund is critical to allow these investments during slow periods.  Slow times are the times when I actually have time and energy to focus on myself, and the self-improvements tend to translate into increased business when things heat up again, not to mention overall happiness.

3) get creative - find new ways to make my business more fun and make my marketing stand out more.  If I’m dealing with content restrictions on my ads, I keep experimenting with new ways to express my ideas.  Rentmen recently blocked me from using any photos of my hands as my profile pic, claiming all of them were X-rated (nevermind that a hard dick as a profile pic seems to be acceptable???).  Well as a fisting top, not being able to show my “tool” in my thumbnail image actually sucks.  It’s common practice on RM for tops to have their dick as their thumbnail for a reason.  Bottoms like to see what they’ll be sitting on.  Didn’t this feel unfair and discouraging to me?  Yes.  But I kept experimenting and eventually realized that as long as my FACE is also in the pic, they don’t consider my hands to be “X-rated”. So I found a way to express my idea anyway even with the censorship.  Beyond this, there are ALWAYS ways to get more creative with marketing.  Add bright colors, wear a super attention grabbing outfit, shoot in a scandalous public location.  You can use creativity to add new faces to your place public marketing and intrigue new types of people.  Using the same pics or same types of pics all the time leads to stagnation- your ad becomes old news to locals very quickly when you don’t change things up frequently and creatively.  Besides the marketing aspect, I’m always adding new services or even eliminating services that I don’t enjoy anymore.  I used to advertise as full service and versatile.  Now I advertise as exclusively a fisting top, although I have also added electricity, chastity, and some bondage to my repertoire.  Working my way into a niche and adding more niche interests to my tool belt has only increased my business every single time.  So when things slow down or I feel I’m in a rut, this is often where I turn my attention.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/9/2021 at 8:44 PM, RandyVue said:

Have you considered taking a break from the business? Just from reading your many posts, it seems that you have more negative feelings about the business than positive ones. Why not take 6 months or a year off and try something else? You may find that you don’t even miss the business.
You may find a passion for something else! Change can be an incredible, life changing thing.

I quit the business yrs ago and I didn’t miss it once. It’s something to consider

By the way: not to discredit your advice. But I am curious: how long were you in the biz and what made you decide to leave?

[Jarrod_Uncut]

8 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Great insight. It’s difficult to go from sex work to mainstream work. I don’t want to go back to working for someone else doing 9 to 5 etc. But it is more stable and reliable. 

For me when my massage/escort work is quiet I do writing and voluntary work. Plus loads of tons in the gym lol. I also do porn on justforfans which brings in some regular revenue. I’ve around 50 full length movies on the platform which attracts subscribers.

I think the best thing is to have other activities that can give you income aside from meeting clients. The writing started out as a hobby now I make a little income from it but maybe one day it will be more. 
 

 

Right on. Also too I have Justforfans (JarrodBrandonXX if any interested/collabs). I have a fair amount of videos. Though I think I may go thru and revamp. I’ve always got extra unreleased content and some clients have even been willing participants lol). 
 

However, I’ll say a 9 to 5 was not very secure for me. Hence why I left. I always felt like I was living on the edge hoping I didn’t do something to get “laid off” (ironically some people think doing this is living on the edge). I’m not downing the structure of a 9 to 5, and eventually I think I’ll pick up something part time just to fill “space”, but every year when I think about doing it, I get too busy with other stuff (clients, home projects, traveling, model shoots, etc). 

I spent a couple of nights with a long time friend and his partner. They were both tense about work issues. But for some people, jumping from a 9 to 5 into freelance culture is foreign concept. As long as they don’t judge and support me, I won’t judge and will support them. 

Edited July 11, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

2 hours ago, HoleTrainer said:

1) optimize my business model. If most clients are requesting Incall and I don’t have one, I do WHATEVER it takes to make one available.  I didn’t have my own apartment when I moved to SF and it stunted my business SIGNIFICANTLY.  I got a full-time hourly wage job just so I could try to eventually get my own apartment.  When I moved into my current studio, I actually had no idea if I was going to be able to afford the upkeep or not.  I had my day job but it was going sour with the pandemic and I could tell it would end soon.  I used the job to get approved for the apartment.  Once the job was over, I had to figure out how to make it work.  This meant being more flexible about my rates at first, and accepting short notice bookings even if it meant interrupting something else that I was doing.  This was annoying but my period of needing to do this to make it work lasted less than six months.  Within 3 months I developed regulars who came to my Incall once a week (at a lower rate than I wanted, but no big deal- my rent was getting paid).  And within another 3 months after that, negotiating on my rate was no longer necessary.  In fact I was able to raise my rate significantly.  Being able to offer Incall consistently has developed me good regulars and steady income.  Vast majority of this business is Incall, so whenever I’m advising ANY escort complaining about not enough business, this is the first topic I explore with them as well.  If most of the demand is for Incall, it’s our job as a full time escort to figure out how to be able to provide the logistics to meet that demand if we want that steady money.  We aren’t entitled to clients who want to see us in exactly the manner we would prefer- we have to adjust our business models to accommodate enough of the market demand until we find a place in the market where we are satisfied with our income- and yes this means having enough to contribute regularly to grow a 1-6 month emergency fund too, so that the natural slow periods are less frustrating.  Did I enjoy working for a company full time after 10 years of working for myself independently?  Fuck no!  But I did what I had to do to get it done and now I have my Incall and business is great.  Great doesn’t mean I see 2 clients a day at home, but that I have enough business to cover the expenses, my personal needs, and invest in my business and my retirement, after hustling harder than I wanted for a period of time to make that happen.

2) invest in myself- this can happen in the form of gym, therapy, massage, a new haircut, new sex toys, an updated photoshoot, new clothes, etc etc.  Having an emergency fund is critical to allow these investments during slow periods.  Slow times are the times when I actually have time and energy to focus on myself, and the self-improvements tend to translate into increased business when things heat up again, not to mention overall happiness.

3) get creative - find new ways to make my business more fun and make my marketing stand out more.  If I’m dealing with content restrictions on my ads, I keep experimenting with new ways to express my ideas.  Rentmen recently blocked me from using any photos of my hands as my profile pic, claiming all of them were X-rated (nevermind that a hard dick as a profile pic seems to be acceptable???).  Well as a fisting top, not being able to show my “tool” in my thumbnail image actually sucks.  It’s common practice on RM for tops to have their dick as their thumbnail for a reason.  Bottoms like to see what they’ll be sitting on.  Didn’t this feel unfair and discouraging to me?  Yes.  But I kept experimenting and eventually realized that as long as my FACE is also in the pic, they don’t consider my hands to be “X-rated”. So I found a way to express my idea anyway even with the censorship.  Beyond this, there are ALWAYS ways to get more creative with marketing.  Add bright colors, wear a super attention grabbing outfit, shoot in a scandalous public location.  You can use creativity to add new faces to your place public marketing and intrigue new types of people.  Using the same pics or same types of pics all the time leads to stagnation- your ad becomes old news to locals very quickly when you don’t change things up frequently and creatively.  Besides the marketing aspect, I’m always adding new services or even eliminating services that I don’t enjoy anymore.  I used to advertise as full service and versatile.  Now I advertise as exclusively a fisting top, although I have also added electricity, chastity, and some bondage to my repertoire.  Working my way into a niche and adding more niche interests to my tool belt has only increased my business every single time.  So when things slow down or I feel I’m in a rut, this is often where I turn my attention.

Superb 👌🏾  input. I will say: you’re in San Francisco so you have a bit of an edge being in one of my favorite markets. The money, the (wealthy/open-minded/older) gays and the big businesses are all out there. One could argue that’s the case in Kansas City, albeit on a much smaller scale. However there’s been trips I’ve done to SF where all my clients were outcalls…despite me hosting (though I often hosted in Alameda or SFO to save on costs and have easier access to parking). 
 

I may have another way to get an incall place that doesn’t directly involve starting a job (also idk how that would really pull off unless it’s a night shift job because many incall clients want to meet right during the daytime between 12 and 5, I would be at work if they wanted to meet). 
 

I had a former client/fuck Buddy with benefits who was letting me move into his place for incalls while he was away out of state for work. But then he started becoming a bitch when I was changing some things to make it more neat and decorative (he was among the younger ones, only a couple years older than me). He thought I should be content with the way he had it decorated (which was more like a old bachelor pad versus the temporary makeshift vintage boudoir look I was going for ). I was so disgusted and annoyed because I had finally started getting more biz, and he didn’t even come down to see the place before doing something very nasty and trivial that ruined the whole flow. Exactly why many gay men can’t be trusted until proven innocent.
 

And true story, I actually did pick up a dead end part time office job years ago in Dallas/Fort Worth. I had needed some money and biz was slow. I eventually quit within a month before they fired me, because I had met 2 clients who paid me more than what they were paying me for 2 weeks of working. 
 

Obviously if I look for a job, it will definitely be something more interactive and higher end. I used to not like the idea of retail/clothing, but since many of the gay guys work/shop in those stores…it could be an additional way to get laid/visibility (off clock of course)
 

Speaking of visibility: what would I do if a co-worker or boss sees my ad with face and nudity? Would someone have to revert to faceless pics due to the chance of termination if found out? 

Edited July 11, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[BuffaloKyle]

37 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Speaking of visibility: what would I do if a co-worker or boss sees my ad with face and nudity? Would someone have to revert to faceless pics due to the chance of termination if found out? 

This is too funny. We just found out the one girl we work with at my place of employment has an onlyfans page. Our one boss even knows and nothing has happened. As long as you aren't referencing your place of employment like say you were employed at Wendy's and wearing your uniform on there they can't do anything. And you aren't using your real name in your ad so I wouldn't worry about that.

[HoleTrainer]

14 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Speaking of visibility: what would I do if a co-worker or boss sees my ad with face and nudity? Would someone have to revert to faceless pics due to the chance of termination if found out? 

Since it seems like you’re a career escort and you don’t plan to exit the industry overall anytime soon, I wouldn’t stress yourself out about the possibility of losing a job over being discovered as an escort.  It’s likely that being fired for this reason would qualify for you unemployment insurance compensation as it’s not directly your fault that you got fired (due to your employer’s ethical objection and not your own refusal to to the job etc).  Even if it didn’t, you could always still get another job.  So many personal skills learned in escorting are way more transferable than you might think.  Even the ability to read an interviewer, make the interviewer feel comfortable with you, and understand what they want to hear from you to give you the job alone is invaluable.  And these are skills that experienced escorts certainly have.  If the job’s purpose is to give you the resources to elevate your escort career rather than to exit it entirely, then you should be slightly fearless about losing your job.  Entry-level, low-commitment jobs are generally are a dime a dozen.  Not necessarily these days because of the unique unemployment ending circumstances, but things will be back to normal soon enough.  You can always find another one.

If the job is really important to you and you want to minimize chances of losing it (maybe if you really like it for example), you can always consider removing your face from your advertising, yes, or even just keeping it out of your thumbnail or your “public images” to reduce the number of people who see it.  But if the purpose of the job is to support you while you invest in your escort career, which is your long term plan anyway, then I don’t think you should bother to remove your face as your chances of getting fired over it are minimal anyway and the fallout should be manageable.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 7/12/2021 at 2:56 AM, HoleTrainer said:

Since it seems like you’re a career escort and you don’t plan to exit the industry overall anytime soon, I wouldn’t stress yourself out about the possibility of losing a job over being discovered as an escort.  It’s likely that being fired for this reason would qualify for you unemployment insurance compensation as it’s not directly your fault that you got fired (due to your employer’s ethical objection and not your own refusal to to the job etc).  Even if it didn’t, you could always still get another job.  So many personal skills learned in escorting are way more transferable than you might think.  Even the ability to read an interviewer, make the interviewer feel comfortable with you, and understand what they want to hear from you to give you the job alone is invaluable.  And these are skills that experienced escorts certainly have.  If the job’s purpose is to give you the resources to elevate your escort career rather than to exit it entirely, then you should be slightly fearless about losing your job.  Entry-level, low-commitment jobs are generally are a dime a dozen.  Not necessarily these days because of the unique unemployment ending circumstances, but things will be back to normal soon enough.  You can always find another one.

If the job is really important to you and you want to minimize chances of losing it (maybe if you really like it for example), you can always consider removing your face from your advertising, yes, or even just keeping it out of your thumbnail or your “public images” to reduce the number of people who see it.  But if the purpose of the job is to support you while you invest in your escort career, which is your long term plan anyway, then I don’t think you should bother to remove your face as your chances of getting fired over it are minimal anyway and the fallout should be manageable.

All valid reasoning. Hadn't quite thought of it that way. But idk, it's always a little uncomfortable being "sussed out". Not that I'm ashamed in any way, but I prefer to offer it when I'm ready. At the same time, it doesn't seem like it's a big deal in the scheme of things. But I've already had, as been mentioned: some people can seem open minded to what I do, but can be a dick about shit when the going gets rough. I would definitely remain discreet, because last thing I need is some gossipy person stepping out of their lane. 

That said: today and this week as a whole, I'm not at all feeling discouraged. It may not necessarily be the volume I desire, but I figure it'll happen. I'm just going to keep putting myself out there, adjusting my ads, pics, etc. Posting new videos when I can. May not be studio material yet, but definitely something to keep things interesting. I just had a new client the other day and he texted me a great review. So I know I'm doing everything right, I just have to keep on it and not get discouraged.

I also am putting together an extensive tour schedule, I expect to end up more busy.

Edited July 15, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut