Paying Hourly Rate for Dinner?

[Ntoomuscle]

I have scheduled an appointment with an escort. I’m a Realtor and in our text exchange, I told him that was my career. He said he would like to discuss real estate when we meet. If I invite him to have dinner after our session to discuss his questions, am I expecting to pay his hourly rate while we are having dinner?

[Maximiliam]

I have scheduled an appointment with an escort. I’m a Realtor and in our text exchange, I told him that was my career. He said he would like to discuss real estate when we meet. If I invite him to have dinner after our session to discuss his questions, am I expecting to pay his hourly rate while we are having dinner?

Ask him

[Chad Constantine]

No, that dont make no sense. He would then he is on your time. Unless you are into findom.

[Guy Fawkes]

Yes.

 

I have scheduled an appointment with an escort. I’m a Realtor and in our text exchange, I told him that was my career. He said he would like to discuss real estate when we meet. If I invite him to have dinner after our session to discuss his questions, am I expecting to pay his hourly rate while we are having dinner?

[BuffaloKyle]

Probably but I did have a potential hire one time that found out through our pre meet texting that I like horror movies and told me that after our two hour session was going to be over that he would be down to go to the theater and see one. I probably would have paid for his ticket but it all never happened because it was literally a day or two before everything shut down. So you never know! If you are paying for his dinner and the fact it's going to be more for him than you he probably would.

[John]

If dinner was to be strictly on the meter, he wouldn't get it. If he wanted some additional sum because the date was going to last significantly longer, then yes. If he wanted to quiz me about the industry I work in and how he can break into it, the meter would be off.

[+ Pensant]

I have scheduled an appointment with an escort. I’m a Realtor and in our text exchange, I told him that was my career. He said he would like to discuss real estate when we meet. If I invite him to have dinner after our session to discuss his questions, am I expecting to pay his hourly rate while we are having dinner?

I think if you invite him to dinner, the answer is yes, unless he demurs.

[+ Topseed]

My dentist knows that my professional career was in the investment business. Some time ago I was in his chair for a teeth cleaning when he started to ask me questions about equities.

 

I asked him if this cleaning was going to be free. That stopped the questions.

 

Why invite the provider to dinner to discuss real estate? If he wants your time, shouldn't he be the one doing the asking? (and the paying?) Value your time as he does his.

[KrisParr]

The “encounter” time period for adult activities should have a definite appointed beginning and end. The time spent at dinner, movies, advice, therapy, etc. that occurs before and/or after the encounter should be considered as neutral no-charge by both parties. At least this is what my brother, an attorney, told me. And he also said that his opinion, because of the holiday, would be free this time.

[+ nycman]

Just be upfront and honest.

 

“I would love to take you to dinner and discuss this....off...the...clock.”

 

Then the ball is in his court to either accept or decline.

 

No hard feelings either way....it’s a business decision for each of you.

[PetetKsfo]

He said he would like to discuss real estate when we meet.

 

Perhaps you are reading more into this than is the case. I always try to learn about clients' interests to have things to talk about. Perhaps he is not asking for personal real estate advice, but merely as a topic for conversaiton. But as others have suggested, if the converation gets deep enough to be something that you would charge for, then you should be upfront about that fact. Perhaps if your rates are similar to his, you might consider doing a trade of services for services. This is certianly not unheard of.

[+ keroscenefire]

I would definitely consider a dinner with general discussion about careers and interests to be on the clock and pay for the escort's time. If he just is asking some general questions then that is fine. If he is a local consider it a business opportunity. Perhaps he is a potential client for you if he's looking to buy property. Of course if it gets to that point, then future dinners/conversations are really now between a realtor and his client and therefore there would be no expectation of any kind of payment for time.

[+ 7829V]

I have scheduled an appointment with an escort. I’m a Realtor and in our text exchange, I told him that was my career. He said he would like to discuss real estate when we meet. If I invite him to have dinner after our session to discuss his questions, am I expecting to pay his hourly rate while we are having dinner?

No.

He pays you your hourly consulting rate.

[down_to_business]

I have scheduled an appointment with an escort. I’m a Realtor and in our text exchange, I told him that was my career. He said he would like to discuss real estate when we meet. If I invite him to have dinner after our session to discuss his questions, am I expecting to pay his hourly rate while we are having dinner?

 

Yes. If you invite him to dinner without making it clear to the escort beforehand that it is off the clock, you are definitely expected to pay his hourly rate.

 

If he asks you out to dinner after to discuss real estate, then no, you should not be expected to pay his hourly rate.

 

As others have suggested, definitely clarify before doing it so no one is left unprepared.

[CalTec]

For long-standing and generous regulars I tend to bend the rules, because I can. I have attended some interesting and exclusive events, which I have accepted without compensation. However, If I was looking to talk shop with a client (financial/tech/projects/partnership or funding of said project, etc), I wouldn't be asking for my hourly. I'd probably be paying for dinner in exchange for the clients time. Time is valuable and it goes both ways

[+ DERRIK]

Pre covid I would occasionally spot attractive guys on sites and invite them to lunch - kinda get to know each other.

 

We agree on a rate for lunch only. Afterwards either I make an offer to meet up and outline my expectations or they approach me.

 

This has been a good time saver for me

 

There have been guys that during lunch I decide we got a good match to go out again - I usually feel good that I dodged a bullet.

[+ mature_guy]

My dentist knows that my professional career was in the investment business. Some time ago I was in his chair for a teeth cleaning when he started to ask me questions about equities.

 

I asked him if this cleaning was going to be free. That stopped the questions.

 

Why invite the provider to dinner to discuss real estate? If he wants your time, shouldn't he be the one doing the asking? (and the paying?) Value your time as he does his.

Been there. I'm a lawyer but got tired of all the questions and people expecting me to give free advice, so I started introducing myself as an undertaker. That usually stopped the conversation really fast, except once when a younger guy seemed to get really excited about talking to an undertaker.

[+ harey]

I have scheduled an appointment with an escort. I’m a Realtor and in our text exchange, I told him that was my career. He said he would like to discuss real estate when we meet. If I invite him to have dinner after our session to discuss his questions, am I expecting to pay his hourly rate while we are having dinner?

You joined the forum on my birthday. Welcome.

I’ve had smart, young providers ask questions during a session, because they are building their own business. Those meetings are usually more satisfying for me due to the conversation. I consider the talk part of the escort’s paid time, even though I’m providing useful advice.

If a client asks for whatever reason to extend the appointment to include dinner out, I think it’s good manners to cover the escort’s time.

[mike carey]

I'm a lawyer but got tired of all the questions and people expecting me to give free advice, so I started introducing myself as an undertaker. That usually stopped the conversation really fast, except once when a younger guy seemed to get really excited about talking to an undertaker.

It would have confirmed so many stereotypes if you had said, 'Actually I'm a lawyer, but I didn't want to say that.'

[handiacefailure]

If you invited him I'm sure he'll want you to pay for dinner, not sure about hourly rate, ask him. If he asked you then I would refuse to pay.

[Otto]

For grins and giggles, ask him if he is running his meter during dinner, while you answer his questions.

 

If he says yes, move on.

[marylander1940]

Whatever the OP decides to to, let's hope the escort won't be on his phone checking messages and texting... That's so annoying and unfortunately common among Millennials.

[MscleLovr]

My two cents for the OP

 

I’ve invited many escorts to have dinner with me after a first date. I always specified that tho I was happy to pick up the check, his time would be “off the clock”. Many guys said Yes. I noticed that the men who accepted the invitation readily were often keen to develop an ongoing relationship.

 

And like the OP, I too met a guy who was fascinated by real estate (at that time I’d developed a couple of projects). He couldn’t stop talking about it and after 10-15 minutes, I reminded him why I was at his place. He continued with further questions and so I smiled, said I’m “happy to answer but let’s re-start the clock” when we finish with real estate. He agreed and we did have a good date where he remembered all I’d said about what I enjoy.

[+ Coolwave35]

Interesting timing. One of my long time regulars and I recently decided to shift entirely away from our client escort relationship into a real estate investing partnership, thus putting an end to his “lucrative weekends.”

 

I’m going down to Florida this week to look at rental properties with him and begin to build an investment portfolio together.

 

It is so weird talking to him for 90 minute phone calls about real estate, texting links to properties and leaving all the flirty talk and selfies out. We even use each other’s real names now. I constantly feel the compulsory need to compensate him for this time because that was the dynamic before the shift to this new partnership.

 

We’re sharing a hotel and splitting it with two separate beds this week while I’m down there to have “real estate slumber parties”. He’s using his car to drive us around while we’re down there from listing to listing and picking me up at the airport. In our case, though my instinct often says “you need to pay the boy,” the transition has been fairly seamless.

[Becket]

Yes. There is in fact a difference between and escort and a prostitute.