He Could Not Perform

[Imathrill]

An escort lost his erection in the middle of the session...should he still be paid?

[Guest Jason317]

If you’d kick a normal hookup out of bed over this; I would say the same applied to potentially paid professionals. Service incomplete.

[big-n-tall]

An escort lost his erection in the middle of the session...should he still be paid?

 

I would say depending how far into the session it happened, I'd give him something, but not the full amount.

[+ JEC]

If you’d kick a normal hookup out of bed

....but this is not a normal hookup, this is a paid service engagement. The service was not (fully) fulfilled.

[MscleLovr]

There could be a number of reasons for him going limp on you. Unless he was a super-skilled oralist, I’d say it would have been reasonable to terminate immediately at the midpoint and pay half what was agreed.

[+ keroscenefire]

I believe 100% that you should still pay them for the agreed upon rate. Remember you are paying for time, not for sex. It is an unfortunate circumstance and one that has happened to me. But I have paid 100 percent every time.

 

What I have done is say something like, "Well this is a bit disappointing as I was hoping we would be able to do X." Sometimes the session can still be saved and a good professional truly will attempt to do so. Maybe he offers a discount or gives you a bit more time or does an alternative activity that leaves you (at least somewhat) satisfied with his services. This is a discussion you need to have with the escort and you certainly should not assume you will get any discounts and never that you will not have to pay him for his time.

 

But in many cases, we've been able to figure something out. In one case, I put on some porn that he liked on the TV and that seemed to take care of the problem and also gave me an additional hour at no cost so we could relax and reset. Another time with long-time regular ended up turning it into a hot fisting session. Another brought out some fun toys. And yes sometimes you end up a bit disappointed by the experience, just like a lot Grindr hookups seem like they'll be hotter before they actually happen. And that's why we have Daddy's and this forum to avoid guys that are flaky or have constant performance issues.

 

In the end though, you are paying for the escort's time and if he fulfills that time, you should pay him. Of course, he should fulfill your other wants and desires as well. But they're only human and things happen.

[former lurker]

An escort lost his erection in the middle of the session...should he still be paid?

 

There are too many variables that could explain the inability to maintain an erection, some of which may not be the escort's "fault" -- did the client ply him with wine/alcohol for example. In any event, unless the escort had reason to know, before meeting up, that he'd run into the problem, he still showed up for the meeting and blocked out the time.

[down_to_business]

I think the escort would still need to be paid for the meeting. It would then be up to the escort to decide if they wanted to make things right with the client (i.e. offer a make-up session or offer to at least give some money back). I can't imagine that the really good escorts wouldn't.

[marylander1940]

....but this is not a normal hookup, this is a paid service engagement. The service was not (fully) fulfilled.

 

Maybe the client can help the escort get it up again and this time keeping it.

 

PrEP certainly has changed things but I remember putting on a condom and have the guy wondering around the room looking for "poppers", etc.

 

Sometimes it's not the escort's fault, some clients are just more difficult and also some positions are difficult.

 

Would yinz allow a 300lbs guy sit on your cock or would you rather take him in a different position?

 

I would say depending how far into the session it happened, I'd give him something, but not the full amount.

 

let's take into account how the client looks, his expectation, behavior, etc.

 

There are too many variables that could explain the inability to maintain an erection, some of which may not be the escort's "fault" -- did the client ply him with wine/alcohol for example. In any event, unless the escort had reason to know, before meeting up, that he'd run into the problem, he still showed up for the meeting and blocked out the time.

 

exactly!

 

PNP?

 

at least he had his cock hard for half the session maybe he can help the client get off doing something else. It takes 2 to tango...

Edited October 3, 2020 by marylander1940

[marylander1940]

There could be a number of reasons for him going limp on you. Unless he was a super-skilled oralist, I’d say it would have been reasonable to terminate immediately at the midpoint and pay half what was agreed.

 

Considering you're a top and your escorts must cum for you. Would you pay half?

 

What about if shit happens and the top (client) stops the session?

Edited October 3, 2020 by marylander1940

[+ Tarte Gogo]

You pay for his time, so, yes, unless he left before the end of the time.

 

But you can (or should, actually) write bad reviews especially if the escort won’t make it up to you somehow.

[BluDay]

Not an escort, but I think an erection loss is a risk the client takes. Physically, men cannot be hard on demand and all the time. On the other side, an escort has to do his best to be ready, whatever that is for him. I think most do, it's been my experience at least.

[+ Lucky]

If the escort couldn't perform, there is a diminished level of service. Some discount should be given.

[urbanfetish]

To me, it depends on whether you can safely pay less for not receiving the services promised. I've had this happen to me several times, although it was the bottom who couldn't perform for me, the top. The first time took me by surprise and I had hired this guy for 3 hours. I had planned to have a relaxing encounter but things turned quickly as he said he "didn't feel up to bottoming". I was disappointed, of course. We spent the 3 hours (maybe just the last 2 hours) trying other things but the mood was spoiled. Since it was the first time for that to happen with me, I paid in full, albeit reluctantly.

Had another guy let me start fucking him but he wasn't properly cleaned out, so we stopped. He disappeared to the bathroom, then came back and said he didn't feel up to bottoming anymore. I got dressed, paid him about $50 (I think he was charging about $200?) and left with him screaming at me. But I was at his place and didn't feel threatened.

Another guy started saying he wanted me to cum about 5 seconds after I started fucking him. I barely got it in and he was like "oh baby, are you going to cum soon? Cum now! Cum!" He was serious and he wasn't complaining about being in pain or anything. He just wanted me to hurry. So, I did - out the door. This was in Berlin, I think? Somewhere in Europe because I remember that I only gave him 50 Euros. I wasn't even there 15 minutes.

Of course, it does help if this happened outside your home/hotel. It's easier to leave than to try to force someone to leave your place. If they are at my place or my hotel when traveling, I probably would just pay the agreed upon rate to get them to leave.

[MscleLovr]

I agree with @urbanfetish that safety is paramount.

 

I’ve only been threatened once in years of dating. Strangely it was a guy I’d dated 3x before he asked me if he could stay overnight on our next date. Unbeknown to me, after dinner he took some drugs in the bathroom and he became aggressive. I handed over just enough cash to induce him to leave.

 

Getting back to the OP’s question, it’s clear that there are a range of answers. It’s worth remembering that the OP @Imathrill is a newbie here. Generally speaking, most working guys are decent, pleasant and aim to please…but of course there are scammers and poor performers around too.

 

As long as the OP was clear about what he wanted and expected, I feel the guy should perform as agreed; if he wanted to be topped, the guy going limp is a severe setback. I wonder what the guy offered by way of explanation: too many late nights, too many clients earlier? A fit, young working guy should be able to get and maintain an erection (or if need be, plan to use Cialis etc)…or he’s in the wrong line of work.

 

Considering you're a top and your escorts must cum for you. Would you pay half?

What about if shit happens and the top (client) stops the session?

As @marylander1940 wrote, I’m only a top and I always enjoyed dating enthusiastic bottoms. Perhaps I was lucky but when we were in bed, they all sported erections. And I really enjoyed seeing my guys cum; it enhanced my pleasure. I can only think of one muscleboy I dated regularly who couldn’t cum as I topped him (he explained he had this inability with everyone) - it didn’t bother me as he was so beautiful and eager to please me in other ways. (As for “shit happens”: luckily never in my bed. This may be TMI but once there was a small stain on a condom I’d used with a handsome young Italian. He was so mortified that he hadn’t douched sufficiently that I had to reassure him considerably)

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

Let's not hide behind the legal convenience that we're paying for 'time spent' as if it hasn't been detailed in the RM profile and further clarified by messaging/voice, etc. If the agreement is an active top, be prepared to perform or take an enhancer. If you agreed to kiss, then do it. Date your photos, and so on.

 

In my experience when the performance wasn't what was agreed to, 'the professional' inevitably points to the time-spent clause as their reason for expecting to be paid in full. The OP didn't mention if payment was required prior to time-spent. If so, there is no negotiation. If you haven't, it would be foolish not to evaluate the potential actions of the unpaid provider. I can afford my choices, so I pay them.

 

Give them a negative review? Where? The providers are advertising text-only, preventing RM from being able to verify there was communication and therefore no review. I spent time with a beloved and well reviewed provider a couple of times before setting up an appointment at my home. I carefully worded the 'problem' that ensued at my house on this site. Not long afterwards, my post disappeared. The provider looked me up and sent a goon to my office. They didn't anticipate our security protocols.

 

This hobby has produced some amazing experiences over the years. Things, however, are changing... the experiences are 50/50 and the scales of satisfaction are tipped toward the provider.

[former lurker]

Let's not hide behind the legal convenience that we're paying for 'time spent' as if it hasn't been detailed in the RM profile and further clarified by messaging/voice, etc. If the agreement is an active top, be prepared to perform or take an enhancer. If you agreed to kiss, then do it. Date your photos, and so on.

 

In my experience when the performance wasn't what was agreed to, 'the professional' inevitably points to the time-spent clause as their reason for expecting to be paid in full. The OP didn't mention if payment was required prior to time-spent. If so, there is no negotiation. If you haven't, it would be foolish not to evaluate the potential actions of the unpaid provider. I can afford my choices, so I pay them.

 

Give them a negative review? Where? The providers are advertising text-only, preventing RM from being able to verify there was communication and therefore no review. I spent time with a beloved and well reviewed provider a couple of times before setting up an appointment at my home. I carefully worded the 'problem' that ensued at my house on this site. Not long afterwards, my post disappeared. The provider looked me up and sent a goon to my office. They didn't anticipate our security protocols.

 

This hobby has produced some amazing experiences over the years. Things, however, are changing... the experiences are 50/50 and the scales of satisfaction are tipped toward the provider.

 

First, you can submit a review to the site that supports this set of forums, Daddy's Reviews. And should. Second, while you may be contracting for more than just time, you are contracting for time. This is not a profession like any other given the variables that go into a good connection and session. But even using other professions as a gauge, they don't charge based on outcomes. Doctors charge for their time, and for the treatment costs, whether your disease is cured quickly or not at all. Lawyer's charge you for their time to prepare for taking a deposition, and deposing the witness, whether or not the deposition ends up helping your case. Same for briefing and filing motions in court. You don't get a discount because a motion was denied.

 

Let's be honest. You're looking for a way to exert control over the outcome. There is only so much control you can reasonably employ. You can hire based on research and reviews. You can book shorter sessions as introductions to be certain of who shows up. You can scour the internet for hints/clues as to whether the ad that piqued your interest has taken pictures from an instagram model who is posting from another continent at the same time the escort claims to be be in your city. You can, as many do, ask if others have seen the escort via posts on this board. And you can simply not repeat with an escort if you had a less than satisfying experience.

 

There is going to be some "spillage", meaning any encounter is going to be beyond your complete control. If that's not a risk worth taking, don't hire or only hire "regulars".

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

 

Let's be honest.

What were you like as just a Lurker? Rhetorical, of course.

[former lurker]

What were you like as just a Lurker? Rhetorical, of course.

 

The same as I am now, except for not posting but just reading.

[Imathrill]

I posted this from recent experience and wanted to get feedback. This was my first escort experience. I don’t have any trouble finding sex through buddies or Grindr, but I started getting massages that would turn into more and this started to thrill me. Eventually I thought, why not hire an escort that is really going to dominate me and is more attractive then any guy I could normally obtain? So I did my research, found someone I was incredibly attracted to, had great reviews, and a reasonable rate. I reached out to RM users that had rated him, they all said he was insatiable. I booked him almost a month in advance. It was going to be a great night. I drove from Orange County to LA. I arrive on time, he’s more handsome in person, in great shape. The session begins exactly how I imagine it would, and while we’re at the best part, he loses it from one position to the next. I tried to assist in any way I could but it wasn’t gonna happen. I immediately felt it was because of me. In my embarrassment I quickly started to dress. He said I didn’t have to leave but all I could hear was a pounding in my ears. I reached for the money in my pocket and place it somewhere, I can’t even remember, and let myself out. As I walked away all I could think was that I just paid to feel worse about myself. I understand this happens, and it’s happened to me as a top and a bttm, but I wasn’t paying or being paid then. I texted him my disappointment and he said he had a stomach bug earlier and it was still lingering. I asked for some of the money back, as it hadn’t even been 30 min and he returned half. From what I’ve been reading, he did the respectable thing but it didn’t feel that way at the time. The whole point of paying an escort was to leave there satisfied by this hot guy and not feeling humiliated and out $$$. While he could have been telling the truth, it ruined the whole escort experience for me. I think I’ll stick to Grindr and my favorite masseur.

[Imathrill]

I posted this from recent experience and wanted to get feedback. This was my first escort experience. I don’t have any trouble finding sex through buddies or Grindr, but I started getting massages that would turn into more and this started to thrill me. Eventually I thought, why not hire an escort that is really going to dominate me and is more attractive then any guy I could normally obtain? So I did my research, found someone I was incredibly attracted to, had great reviews, and a reasonable rate. I reached out to RM users that had rated him, they all said he was insatiable. I booked him almost a month in advance. It was going to be a great night. I drove from Orange County to LA. I arrive on time, he’s more handsome in person, in great shape. The session begins exactly how I imagine it would, and while we’re at the best part, he loses it from one position to the next. I tried to assist in any way I could but it wasn’t gonna happen. I immediately felt it was because of me. In my embarrassment I quickly started to dress. He said I didn’t have to leave but all I could hear was a pounding in my ears. I reached for the money in my pocket and place it somewhere, I can’t even remember, and let myself out. As I walked away all I could think was that I just paid to feel worse about myself. I understand this happens, and it’s happened to me as a top and a bttm, but I wasn’t paying or being paid then. I texted him my disappointment and he said he had a stomach bug earlier and it was still lingering. I asked for some of the money back, as it hadn’t even been 30 min and he returned half. From what I’ve been reading, he did the respectable thing but it didn’t feel that way at the time. The whole point of paying an escort was to leave there satisfied by this hot guy and not feeling humiliated and out $$$. While he could have been telling the truth, it ruined the whole escort experience for me. I think I’ll stick to Grindr and my favorite masseur.

Also, he did mention that I could leave a bad review and he’d have to deal with it. In the heat of my feelings, I did. He since then has changed his RM handle and blocked me.

[dbar123]

Men aren’t robots. Sometimes they don’t stay hard. It’s what they do to keep pleasing you that matters, be it massage, oral rimming etc. I would never nick an escort for not staying hard....but I might choose to look elsewhere next time.

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

I posted this from recent experience and wanted to get feedback. This was my first escort experience. I don’t have any trouble finding sex through buddies or Grindr, but I started getting massages that would turn into more and this started to thrill me. Eventually I thought, why not hire an escort that is really going to dominate me and is more attractive then any guy I could normally obtain? So I did my research, found someone I was incredibly attracted to, had great reviews, and a reasonable rate. I reached out to RM users that had rated him, they all said he was insatiable. I booked him almost a month in advance. It was going to be a great night. I drove from Orange County to LA. I arrive on time, he’s more handsome in person, in great shape. The session begins exactly how I imagine it would, and while we’re at the best part, he loses it from one position to the next. I tried to assist in any way I could but it wasn’t gonna happen. I immediately felt it was because of me. In my embarrassment I quickly started to dress. He said I didn’t have to leave but all I could hear was a pounding in my ears. I reached for the money in my pocket and place it somewhere, I can’t even remember, and let myself out. As I walked away all I could think was that I just paid to feel worse about myself. I understand this happens, and it’s happened to me as a top and a bttm, but I wasn’t paying or being paid then. I texted him my disappointment and he said he had a stomach bug earlier and it was still lingering. I asked for some of the money back, as it hadn’t even been 30 min and he returned half. From what I’ve been reading, he did the respectable thing but it didn’t feel that way at the time. The whole point of paying an escort was to leave there satisfied by this hot guy and not feeling humiliated and out $$$. While he could have been telling the truth, it ruined the whole escort experience for me. I think I’ll stick to Grindr and my favorite masseur.

Thank you for the color, your honesty and for, without prejudice, let people know that all you wanted was to be treated fairly. I wish you the best with your future choices.

[Imathrill]

I guess it was naive of me, but I thought that this wouldn’t be an issue if I’m paying for it. I was very clear with him what I was looking for and he was very reassuring that he could deliver that.

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

I guess it was naive of me, but I thought that this wouldn’t be an issue if I’m paying for it. I was very clear with him what I was looking for and he was very reassuring that he could deliver that.

For those of you who can't hear and feel the purity of this young man's experience, please raise your hands and let the rest of us know who you are so we can avoid choosing you in the future.