Deposit for future meetings during current downtime

[MscleLovr]

This is bugging me.....I’m starting to dread the possibility of an awkward or uncomfortable meeting

 

Your intentions were good @Keith30309. It doesn’t matter what others think. I feel you should go ahead and see your guys when you can, with the usual prospect of pleasurable fun.

[GR0981]

it just really depends. I recently sent a highly rated escort on this forum some money due to what’s going on right now (also helped that I’ve been one of his regulars for about four years now) because we text and chat pretty often off the clock. He also started comping an overnight and taking me out to a fairly expensive dinner on his dime every year on my birthday (which is pocket change to the amount I spent on him in total lol but still a very nice gesture to keep my loyalty).

 

While the main point of our relationship is that I pay for his time with money and I will never forget that or pretend otherwise, we spent enough time together to the point I feel like I can trust him enough to not be weird about paying me back or compensating me with his time instead. I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending money to an escort that I’ve only had a couple of sessions with. But if you’re a regular and you know you have that kind of rapport then why not.

 

Communication is everything. If you’re really concerned about him holding his end of the bargain, then don’t do it. If you still want to lend the money, then just lay out the conditions for it.

[+ OliverSaks]

I think the board here is being extra cynical - I can’t imagine being resentful that someone was generous and trusting enough to front me a session and giving a bad session as a result

 

worry not.

This is bugging me now.

I’m starting to dread the possibility of an awkward or uncomfortable meeting with any of these guys, all of whom I’ve always had terrific chemistry with.

[harlow]

This is bugging me now.

I’m starting to dread the possibility of an awkward or uncomfortable meeting with any of these guys, all of whom I’ve always had terrific chemistry with.

I kinda feel like you do. I’m just waiting for my phone to buzz and it’s one of my regulars asking for an advance or to prepay for a session. I would hate to ruin our chemistry by saying no because I wanna believe they’ll keep their end of the bargain.

[BluDay]

How would you proceed if this was a friend in need or the yard guy asking for an advance? A lot of this boils down to you relate to this provider.

 

During the last session with my regular, I said I wanted to do the next session on "credit" by paying for it then and not having to when we met. My main idea was not having to pay in a session, but part of my thought process was tossing him some cash now in case things got tough on his business. I've been seeing him for years, so I'm not worried.

 

OP, you must like this guy having done 5 days. Is he financially responsible enough that this pandemic has caught him with his pants down (that didn't start as a pun)?

[big-n-tall]

I haven't been approached about a deposit for a future meet up. Not yet anyway. The escort I currently see the most, he and I were going to go on a multi-day trip that got canceled a few weeks prior to the trip date. I had already given him the funds. I told him to keep it and we'll use that as payment for a future extended weekend. I have given him funds in advance before. He has always made good on it.

 

I have offered to send some funds to certain escorts, friends, and family when and if they need it. Some have refused but thanked me for the offer. Most said they hope it doesn't get to that point but if they need it they'll accept anything I can spare. In these particular cases, I'm not expecting I'll get the funds back.

[GTMike]

Over the years, I've done advances/loans with a couple different regulars with good success in repaying the credit for the time. One in particular received a pretty good advance and next time when he visited my city completely made up for it. Several months later I did do another advance but then subsequent to that he ended up having to cancel twice. (Due to not making the overall trips to my city. At least to my knowledge that is hahaha, though i have reason to believe the cancellations were legit and not avoidance).

 

We're still completely in touch and once this pandemic passes, I suspect we will see each other again sometime in the future but even now I feel like it's a toss up whether i'd even feel comfortable bringing it up next time we meet cuz so much time has passed. Really depends on your relationship.

[Spursy]

I have taken it upon myself to voluntarily send funds to two guys I’ve come to know over the years and who I’ll continue to see in the future. I don’t really know what they’re financial status is but I do know both have been laid off from their jobs. This can’t be an easy time for either of them. I contacted both of them, told them I would be sending them funds and asked them what the best way was to get the money to them. I also told them this was a gift and they were free to use it any way they saw fit. I certainly didn’t have any strings attached to it. Both were were very appreciative.

 

Had they approached me instead of me approaching them i would have gladly assisted them too. I give from the heart and expect nothing in return from them. I need to clarify though these two guys are more like friends than business acquaintances. I would not be so benevolent with a one-and-off guy.

I feel the same way and have done the same thing for my regular and my regular masseur. The responses made me glad I did it.

 

But these were gifts. If you want something in return or there otherwise are strings attached, maybe it works out; maybe it doesn't. If you neither want nor expect anything in return, you cannot be disappointed.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

You do what makes YOU feel comfortable. Period.

 

There's no shame or negative in attempting to help the people you care about.

 

My advice is if you do give money, ultimately look at it as giving a gift. It's easier in the event things go South.

[MikeBiDude]

You do what makes YOU feel comfortable. Period.

 

There's no shame or negative in attempting to help the people you care about.

 

My advice is if you do give money, ultimately look at it as giving a gift. It's easier in the event things go South.

I just sent a young man I met on seeking.com a significant amount to relocate out of Hawaii (where he lost two hospitality industry jobs due to pandemic) and return home to his family in California. No quid pro quo discussed or requested....but I know with this guy it will be ok. And, it was the right thing to do anyway.

[Saucyromanian]

I have been escorting for about a year now. I definitely believe that a deposit is necessary when meeting if it is an extended time with someone but I do feel like during this time it may not be the best option. I know times are tough and I know the extra money helps from my perspective but given the circumstances with an uncertain time frame of when everyone can safely meet again I wouldn't personally ask for a deposit since I wouldn't be able to guarantee when I would be able to fulfill the service. I'd say if you have met the person before then it may be nice to help them out while times are slower but people who you have never met before there's no way to know how accountable they will be. I hope this helps!

[instudiocity]

NEVER LOAN, always give. If it comes back to you it was a loan between friends, if it returns void, HEY! IT WAS A GIFT!

Edited April 10, 2020 by instudiocity

[+ DrownedBoy]

Maybe before paying ahead of time, you should read the responses from this thread.

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/have-you-ever-given-a-session-on-credit.156241/

[marylander1940]

Sadly, this “resentment“ on a future date. has been my experience as well ?

 

They were either ungrateful. Unprofessional by all means.

 

For an overnight or a trip (as posted already by others on here) deposits are very common.

[wklukas]

They were either ungrateful. Unprofessional by all means.

 

For an overnight or a trip (as posted already by others on here) deposits are very common.

 

Reminds me of “once upon a time” -

I was taking a stud that I had enjoyed a long-lasting hiring arrangement with along on a 10 day vaca to Cabo....

he had given me a heads-up that he might need an advance on his fee so that he could pay some bills before leaving town....

I told him no problem / lemme know.....

he never made the advance request....

in our limo on the way to the airport, I asked why he had not asked for any money....

his reply.....when other “clients” found out he was going out of town, everybody had arranged a play date with him before he left town.....he had made much more in those few days before our vaca than he usually did.....he had no need of advance funds at that time.

[marylander1940]

Reminds me of “once upon a time” -

I was taking a stud that I had enjoyed a long-lasting hiring arrangement with along on a 10 day vaca to Cabo....

he had given me a heads-up that he might need an advance on his fee so that he could pay some bills before leaving town....

I told him no problem / lemme know.....

he never made the advance request....

in our limo on the way to the airport, I asked why he had not asked for any money....

his reply.....when other “clients” found out he was going out of town, everybody had arranged a play date with him before he left town.....he had made much more in those few days before our vaca than he usually did.....he had no need of advance funds at that time.

 

It's a different scenario... you picked him up an took him to the airport with you... you didn't fly him to a place.

 

My escort friends always save money a month ahead for their bills. They're thrifty.

[+ barullo]

Thank you all for your answers! This turned into a lively discussion that did help me ultimately decide not to do it. I think the uncertainty of these times actually tipped the balance towards no, because if I had more of a certain outlook on when we’ll meet again, I would hesitate less.

[AJ Doyle]

A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough. Last time we were together it was a 5-day long hire, so I know and trust the guy. But I’m not really sure when I’m going to be able to hire him again, so right now it feels a little risky to put a deposit on something I’m not sure it’s going to happen. But I still feel I could help him, and anyways it’s very likely I would still getting my “money” back. Any insight, opinions?

Some of us keep emergency funds on standby in case anything like this ever happens. I feel sorry for those that didn't :-(. It's a personal decision for you to decide on whether you want to do that!? I just know I would never ask my clients to do something like that. I'm actually turning clients away cause I have funds in my savings to get me thru these tough times... If you really like the guy though and trust him...it's your money. You should do what makes you feel comfortable....

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Some of us keep emergency funds on standby in case anything like this ever happens. I feel sorry for those that didn't :-(.

 

Please don't take this wrong (lest I might have taken you wrong), but don't feel "sorry" for anyone like us, in "times like this".

 

I'm not understanding where some people think there's this surplus of funds to save up. I want to see how some of these people are living. If someone is fortunate enough to truly be able to go client-free during this period which could last til June, you have to either have been getting a good amount of clients, or like @marylander1940 said, very thrifty.

 

In my case, just this week alone: I had to renew my car insurance, Rentmen ad, phone bill, and some other miscellaneous bills/essentials from Amazon. All to the tune of about $500.

 

As for "savings", I had some left over from a tour two weeks ago, because at this point there's really nowhere to go to spend money on. I had 1 Local client last week (who I won't be seeing again due to his repeated psycho analyzation after every session we do). And then I had a client send me a nice deposit for a session later this week.

 

So, that's just how it is. My only regrets is not asking a different client for a deposit. I met him previously, and he was fine. But he flaked back in December, and I gave him a 2nd chance. Only for him to do it AGAIN yesterday. We were supposed to be doing a 2 hour out of town session, with it potentially being an overnight. Did the same thing he did previously; comes across interested on the phone, but then day of comes and no response at all.

 

And what made it so bad, he came around and contacted me last week, like his disappearing act in December never happened. I brought it up. I give him a chance, but then they take my kindness for weakness. And then other clients are shocked when we ask for deposits. Because some people mess it up for others. For a little while I thought I'd ease up on the deposits, but clearly I'm going to have to go right back to doing it again.

 

People like that don't appreciate our craft. Then they can't understand why I cut their ties. And 10 times out of 10, they come back around. It’s almost like they can’t remember. But when they keep doing the same thing, they are no longer a customer, but a shoplifter. Shoplifting my valuable time. And the only way to stop it is with a deposit.

Edited April 16, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut

[jayjaycali]

So it's making a deposit for your future 'deposit'

[Rod Hagen]

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For a loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry" ~ Shakespeare

 

We have to remember that when a writer gives lines to a character, the purpose of those lines is to round the character out. It's not necessarily universal good advice and it's most definitely not necessarily the opinion of the fiction writer.

 

I've given money to my housekeeper, even though I don't want her coming now. I've prepaid both my masseur and the guy who cuts my hair in anticipation of future sessions. And I don't have money. This is just kind behavior.

 

If barullo can afford to prepay a favorite escort, and then make a reminder in his phone to collect on it (remember collecting on a pre-payed escort appointment is VASTLY more fun than a prepaid haircut) then he should.

 

Fuck Polonius .

Edited April 17, 2020 by Rod Hagen

[+ Pensant]

My 3 regulars would never ask for any money, and would be embarrassed if I offered it. One is in grad school and probably has saved 80% of his earnings from his “side” occupation, although he pulled his ad 3 years ago. The other has a good job and is very thrifty and the third has family money. I suppose I am lucky.

[Rod Hagen]

I suppose I am lucky.

 

Only if you would be offended if they asked for it, or disappointed if they needed it.

[+ Funguy]

Many years ago I had a regular masseur who was also a great deal of fun. He had been in a car accident in which his car was totaled - he was not injured and insurance covered all except that he was reduced to getting a new car which the insurance payment simply didn't come near to covering (he had an old beater). He never asked for money but I decided to offer him an advance for the next 2 sessions, along with my usual tip. Since we had a several year history I figured it was a reasonable gesture - he was extremely appreciative. After each of my next two massages we wound up in the bedroom (new for us) for some mind-blowing sex, completely surprising me. After those 2 visits, the bedroom became part of our routine until he finally retired. When we had our final meeting, it was no charge as he was back on his feet and was very appreciative of the fact that I had made my offer so long before.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Many years ago I had a regular masseur who was also a great deal of fun. He had been in a car accident in which his car was totaled - he was not injured and insurance covered all except that he was reduced to getting a new car which the insurance payment simply didn't come near to covering (he had an old beater). He never asked for money but I decided to offer him an advance for the next 2 sessions, along with my usual tip. Since we had a several year history I figured it was a reasonable gesture - he was extremely appreciative. After each of my next two massages we wound up in the bedroom (new for us) for some mind-blowing sex, completely surprising me. After those 2 visits, the bedroom became part of our routine until he finally retired. When we had our final meeting, it was no charge as he was back on his feet and was very appreciative of the fact that I had made my offer so long before.

 

What a happy ending (no pun intended). It's always good to have a client who's willing to front us during the hard times.

 

This is my personal opinion, and I know there's clients who never send deposits or cancel fees, but may tip double the price. So it doesn't mean they aren't generous. But at the same time, I think sometimes people see us tit for tat with other lines of work. Like aka, "i don't pay my dentist upfront". Well yeah but you're not fucking your dentist and seeing naked pictures of him though, are you? And that's the thing: escorts are working technically, even when we're not meeting in person. In some ways, an escort can be like a family or good friend you'd send money to if they needed it. Not just a "Business".

 

Other day I had a client I've never met before drop $500 in my account. Far more than I expected. But, the drive was 3 hours and considering my other client before him royally stood me up, I wasn't complaining.

 

I also have "sponsors" who are willing to front me for future sessions. I felt bad that one in particular was unable to meet me last month. But I was there in his state for nearly 2 months, and he just wasn't able to meet timing wise. Hopefully in the near future.

 

At the same time, I don't want to be in a position where I'm accepting funds months and years in advance, because by then...too much time will have gone by and an escort may feel technically out of pocket.

Edited April 19, 2020 by Jarrod_Uncut