Deposit for future meetings during current downtime

[+ barullo]

A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough. Last time we were together it was a 5-day long hire, so I know and trust the guy. But I’m not really sure when I’m going to be able to hire him again, so right now it feels a little risky to put a deposit on something I’m not sure it’s going to happen. But I still feel I could help him, and anyways it’s very likely I would still getting my “money” back. Any insight, opinions?

[Marlfox]

Earlier this year one of my regulars was going through a tough patch and asked if I could lend him some money. He proposed to pay it back by monthly instalments. I agreed to lend him the money, but suggested that instead of him repaying me, I have a credit which could be reduced per future visit until the debt has been paid off. He agreed and we subsequently met up twice, significantly reducing the amount owing. Then the virus struck and it will now be some time until we can meet again in person, but I am confident that the debt will be paid in full eventually.

Barolo, I guess it depends on how much confidence you have in the guy.

[+ barullo]

Earlier this year one of my regulars was going through a tough patch and asked if I could lend him some money. He proposed to pay it back by monthly instalments. I agreed to lend him the money, but suggested that instead of him repaying me, I have a credit which could be reduced per future visit until the debt has been paid off. He agreed and we subsequently met up twice, significantly reducing the amount owing. Then the virus struck and it will now be some time until we can meet again in person, but I am confident that the debt will be paid in full eventually.

Barolo, I guess it depends on how much confidence you have in the guy.

 

I trust him completely. I just feel like it’s a huge commitment on my part, but I guess if I’m asking you/people is because part of me wants do it.

 

Great to hear about your experience. I’m glad it paid off.

[Kevin Slater]

Not a fan. Too many pitfalls. And I'm afraid the dynamic of any future booking may be off; people often tend to engage in obligations for which they've already been paid begrudgingly, like they're doing you a favor by upholding their end.

 

I understand that this guy needs some help. That's when he should look to friends and family, but not clients.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ barullo]

Not a fan. Too many pitfalls. And I'm afraid the dynamic of any future booking may be off; people often tend to engage in obligations for which they've already been paid begrudgingly, like they're doing you a favor by upholding their end.

 

I understand that this guy needs some help. That's when he should look to friends and family, but not clients.

 

Kevin Slater

 

thanks for that Kevin. It gives more ammunition to the “don’t do it” side of my brain.

[+ Keith30309]

Not a fan. Too many pitfalls. And I'm afraid the dynamic of any future booking may be off; people often tend to engage in obligations for which they've already been paid begrudgingly, like they're doing you a favor by upholding their end.

 

I understand that this guy needs some help. That's when he should look to friends and family, but not clients.

 

Kevin Slater

I get that. On 3 occasions in the past I've given small ($100-$200) loans to guys and exactly what you describe has happened - the payback time is almost resentful.

Despite that, because of the extraordinary circumstances, I've initiated (as opposed to being asked) a handful of prepaid meets. I don't know if I'll regret it or not. I'd really not like for my ongoing relationships to be soured and those I've included are pretty levelheaded so I'm hopeful. I know that seeing me is likely to be a lower priority than making new cash coming out of this.

I dunno if it was a mistake or not.

[jawjateck]

Your investment would not likely bring a return to your portfolio of happiness. Been there. Done that. I was hit up in last 2 weeks for cash by prior acquaintances. They didn't call it an advance or deposit. It came across as presumptuous and entitled. I didn't bother to respond.

[MscleLovr]

My two cents @barullo:

the requested ‘deposit’ is in reality a loan, and

you should only lend money to an acquaintance if you can afford to write-off the loan when it’s not repaid

 

I’ve been asked for money numerous times.

Once I was repaid on time, exactly as planned, by a friend who’d got into temporary difficulties.

Another time, my then boyfriend asked me to loan him the cost of a vocational course. When he became my ex, he repaid me very slowly over 3 years.

Several times, there was no repayment which shows me that those guys prized my money over my friendship.

[+ easygoingpal]

@barullo Here's my .02 cents... If you are the kind of guy who has donated in the past to any cause. Give the guy a gift equivalent to 1 day with no strings attached. If you can afford a 5-day meeting, this will not affect you much. You will have a grateful person for the next time you two meet.

[+ Pensant]

No provider has hit me up for money in years. However, a childhood friend borrowed a few years ago and I ultimately forgave the loan. As Benjamin Franklin said, lending money to friends creates enemies.

[MikeBiDude]

On 3 occasions in the past I've given small ($100-$200) loans to guys and exactly what you describe has happened - the payback time is almost resentful.

Sadly, this “resentment“ on a future date. has been my experience as well ?

[marylander1940]

A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough. Last time we were together it was a 5-day long hire, so I know and trust the guy. But I’m not really sure when I’m going to be able to hire him again, so right now it feels a little risky to put a deposit on something I’m not sure it’s going to happen. But I still feel I could help him, and anyways it’s very likely I would still getting my “money” back. Any insight, opinions?

 

If you think you might not have a job in the future (or it would take time for your 401K to recover) explain it to him and only hire him once things are back to normal.

 

You and your financial stability must come first, he'll understand hopefully. Even if you can't afford hiring him this year you'll be able to do it after you financially recover!

 

Some of you guys on here are confusing lending money to a friend with prepaying an escort or giving him a booking fee. I've always told all my friends to ask money from a relative.

[+ HornyRetiree]

MY policy in life has always been to GIFT and never loan - I will ask them to pay it forward 2x over life -- doesn't have to be big gifts for them to pay forward - they can do it in 20s when that is significant to the recipient!

 

Right now, I have a session prepaid with a long term masseur (years) - I expect to get to have the session - but if circumstances and the world prevent that from happening -- no problem -- better he have it than heirs fighting over what is left.

[Guest]

Deposit for future meetings during current downtime

 

 

PS: As another poster said in another thread, "They'll remember if you cancel an appointment on them, but won't remember the $$$ paid for a future appointment."

 

Edit!

From a wise poster (MikeBiDude): "They’ll remember your single/one time cancellation with an laser sharp elephant’s memory, but forget your prepayment in the blink of an eye."

Edited April 7, 2020 by Oaktown

[MikeBiDude]

PS: As another poster said in another thread, "They'll remember if you cancel an appointment on them, but won't remember the $$$ paid for a future appointment."

A wise poster indeed ?

 

They’ll remember your single/one time cancellation with an laser sharp elephant’s memory, but forget your prepayment in the blink of an eye.

[Vanyel]

A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough. Last time we were together it was a 5-day long hire, so I know and trust the guy. But I’m not really sure when I’m going to be able to hire him again, so right now it feels a little risky to put a deposit on something I’m not sure it’s going to happen. But I still feel I could help him, and anyways it’s very likely I would still getting my “money” back. Any insight, opinions?

 

If you know him well, and trust him as you say, I would do it. If I was able to lend it to him with no problem on my part (financial wise), I would do it, and I would never bring it up again, and I would assumed that I wouldn't get paid back. I feel that if you never bring it up again, and then he does and wants to pay you back, then great. But I personally would never bring it up to him. This way it hopefully never causes an issue. When you make your next meeting with him, expect to pay full unless he says otherwise. But it has to be in your mind that you are giving him that money as a gift.

 

This is just me. If you fully trust him, and can afford it, why not do it? You know he really probably needs it.

 

Just my .02 cents.

 

Vanyel

[gallahadesquire]

If you know him well, and trust him as you say, I would do it. If I was able to lend it to him with no problem on my part (financial wise), I would do it, and I would never bring it up again, and I would assumed that I wouldn't get paid back. I feel that if you never bring it up again, and then he does and wants to pay you back, then great. But I personally would never bring it up to him. This way it hopefully never causes an issue. When you make your next meeting with him, expect to pay full unless he says otherwise. But it has to be in your mind that you are giving him that money as a gift.

 

This is just me. If you fully trust him, and can afford it, why not do it? You know he really probably needs it.

 

Just my .02 cents.

 

Vanyel

I’ve done this a couple of times with multiple-repeat escorts. It has worked out very. They kept a running balance. It ghastly worked beneficially for both of us.

[down_to_business]

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For a loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry" ~ Shakespeare

 

So much good advice from other posters and old Bill. No No No !!!

[MikeBiDude]

It ghastly worked beneficially for both of us.

I’m not looking for a ghastly result ??

[gallahadesquire]

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For a loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry" ~ Shakespeare

 

So much good advice from other posters and old Bill. No No No !!!

 

This above all: to thine own self be true,

And it must follow, as the night the day,

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

 

— Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3, William Shakespeare [Polonius’ Advice to Laertes]

[bklife19]

Naively I have engaged in this kind of "loaning" myself. Several times. And trust me, it is the beginning of the end of these "relationships." Either you will be screwed and lose your money, or the provider will become resentful having to work for money that they have already received and spent, or both.

 

If you can afford to gift, gift. Otherwise, COVID-19 arms you with about 5,000 different excuses for not loaning money to non-family at this time.

[Beancounter]

I have taken it upon myself to voluntarily send funds to two guys I’ve come to know over the years and who I’ll continue to see in the future. I don’t really know what they’re financial status is but I do know both have been laid off from their jobs. This can’t be an easy time for either of them. I contacted both of them, told them I would be sending them funds and asked them what the best way was to get the money to them. I also told them this was a gift and they were free to use it any way they saw fit. I certainly didn’t have any strings attached to it. Both were were very appreciative.

 

Had they approached me instead of me approaching them i would have gladly assisted them too. I give from the heart and expect nothing in return from them. I need to clarify though these two guys are more like friends than business acquaintances. I would not be so benevolent with a one-and-off guy.

[+ Keith30309]

This is bugging me now.

I’m starting to dread the possibility of an awkward or uncomfortable meeting with any of these guys, all of whom I’ve always had terrific chemistry with.

[+ honcho]

Do you think the recipients of the loan might be less resentful when (hopefully) it's safe to resume, you have a couple of sessions

where each one has the fee being 50% loan repayment and 50% new cash? Or would that still sour things?

[+ Keith30309]

Do you think the recipients of the loan might be less resentful when (hopefully) it's safe to resume, you have a couple of sessions

where each one has the fee being 50% loan repayment and 50% new cash? Or would that still sour things?

I don’t know... it just may. What do others think ?