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Grocery Shopping


sam.fitzpatrick

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I have a neighbor and pseudo-friend who is elderly and disabled. She owns her co-op apt here, has IRA and SS income. She spends tons of money on PeaPod and Instcart, and has other friends and acquaintances bringing her stuff...

 

Last night she emails me she signed up for the NYC food delivery service which delivers food to the "needy", and she will be receiving her first delivery this Sunday. I read her email, in fact read it twice, and then said to myself WTF ??? It made me feel some kind of way. It angered me.... So I emailed her and told her so, and asked her HOW she could take resources from those people that really NEED it and cant afford it ? She writes me back and says she doesn't agree with my assessment, and that she doesn't feel she is robbing anything from anyone. She says she cant go shopping, and is uncomfortable asking people to get her things. Plus, the PeaPod deliveries are so erratic, and she often doesn't get what she wants, or it takes too long, and with the NYC service she can get groceries (you cant choose your items, it fixed) every 2 days....

 

I am still angry and disgusted. Do you guys think she is misguided and just doesn't get the point or just a selfish bitch, which I am leaning towards.?

 

If there was a way to report her, I WOULD......

I agree with @Epigonos that its difficult. And maybe she could be convinced to make a donation to the agency for the service? Maybe her motivated is mostly about securing a delivery that is dependable rather than greed.

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I agree with @Epigonos that its difficult. And maybe she could be convinced to make a donation to the agency for the service? Maybe her motivated is mostly about securing a delivery that is dependable rather than greed.

 

Those are all good reasons @RealAvalon , but the point IS, she is not WITHOUT food, weighs over 300 lbs at 4'11", and can PAY for food delivery. The other day she asked me to pick up a few things ate the market for her, and she stiffed me out of $11.50. See a pattern here ? And while I dont want to hijack and make his thread about me, I just needed to vent as I am ripping mad.

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She spends tons of money on PeaPod and Instcart, and has other friends and acquaintances bringing her stuff... PeaPod deliveries are so erratic, and she often doesn't get what she wants, or it takes too long

 

A few weeks ago I got 15 of 49 items; this week it was 41 of 54. Both times the only way I could get a slot was to go there at 1 AM when they add the new date, which is close to 2 weeks ahead. Last time I checked at 12:57 and they hadn't added the new date yet. At 12:59 they'd added it, but there was only one slot left. It was the 6:30 AM- 1PM slot ; the guy came at 7:20.

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A few weeks ago I got 15 of 49 items; this week it was 41 of 54. Both times the only way I could get a slot was to go there at 1 AM when they add the new date, which is close to 2 weeks ahead. Last time I checked at 12:57 and they hadn't added the new date yet. At 12:59 they'd added it, but there was only one slot left. It was the 6:30 AM- 1PM slot ; the guy came at 7:20.

 

I understand that, and realize it can be disappointing, but just because she cant get cream cheese or ice cream is no reason to deplete a food bank when other are going hungry... I just cant justify it in any way, shape or form.

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I pretty much have everything delivered these days. I really don't like it because I have always liked to touch/look at those types of foods that are fresh or a certain size (e.g., fruit, meat, potatoes, etc.). Also, now we have to shop through a few stores (if you want to have things delivered) Whole Foods, Marianos, Amazon Fresh, Jewel, and Panera (for some breads). However, there are several tricks you have to play. For instance, even if you order something from a store it may not have it so your best bet is to wait and then order on another day from another store and if that store does not have it move on to a third. Finally, once you get what you want you have to make sure that the store has an accessible delivery date and time. It becomes a to and fro until you get almost everything you want (weird stuff is still not available at certain stores, like orange juice or napkins). And they have this odd ritual where they ask you to either mark whether you want to have an item substituted by another one. Obviously, if you say "no" you won't get anything. But if you do not tell them a specific substitution they will first text you to see if what they have chosen you want to be the substitute. However, if you are not available they fill in what they think should fill in. It is funny what they consider to be appropriate. The other day I ordered a full roasted chicken (which they did not have). When I did not answer they substituted it with Curry Chicken Wraps. Who knows why. Why not chicken soup?

Then once the date for delivery is chosen the stores no longer will come into the main portion of the building - which is fine with me. I have them buzz, tell them that I am on my way down, and then pick up the bags on the main floor. This can be over a 3, 4, 5 day period until all the gaps are filled.

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I have a neighbor and pseudo-friend who is elderly and disabled. She owns her co-op apt here, has IRA and SS income. She spends tons of money on PeaPod and Instcart, and has other friends and acquaintances bringing her stuff...

 

Last night she emails me she signed up for the NYC food delivery service which delivers food to the "needy", and she will be receiving her first delivery this Sunday. I read her email, in fact read it twice, and then said to myself WTF ??? It made me feel some kind of way. It angered me.... So I emailed her and told her so, and asked her HOW she could take resources from those people that really NEED it and cant afford it ? She writes me back and says she doesn't agree with my assessment, and that she doesn't feel she is robbing anything from anyone. She says she cant go shopping, and is uncomfortable asking people to get her things. Plus, the PeaPod deliveries are so erratic, and she often doesn't get what she wants, or it takes too long, and with the NYC service she can get groceries (you cant choose your items, it fixed) every 2 days....

 

I am still angry and disgusted. Do you guys think she is misguided and just doesn't get the point or just a selfish bitch, which I am leaning towards.?

 

If there was a way to report her, I WOULD......

 

I tend to agree with you, but I also agree with her that she should have some way of getting assistance. The problem is our country and how corrupt and cutthroat we are compared to developed nations. We behave much more like a developing nation, where the rich do what they want and everyone else fights each other for scraps. We haven't been a top-20 nation for years on TI's corruption perception index and the USA's trustworthiness score has collapsed as the world sees how bad corruption and inequality are in the USA. All of this creates an environment where everyone feels they're in it for themselves and they need to "get what they deserve" regardless of who gets hurt.

Edited by LivingnLA
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I made my weekly grocery trip to Meijer's today. The produce section continues to be well stocked and the product looks great. This was the first time I've seen toilet paper on the shelf in over a month. While I have enough to last a few more weeks, I went ahead and bought a package even though it was not my preferred brand. It was only when I got home did it realize it was a "mega" roll-size package; that size is too big (imagine me complaining about something being too big) to fit on my toilet paper holder.

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Unfortunately, people can mentally justify almost any action they want. Mental gymnastics are a human trait.

 

As for people taking advantage of programs meant for someone else, it happens all the time.

 

While that's true, it makes it sound like it's rampant, which is factually untrue. We are social primates evolved to cooperate and collaborate. Humans and the societies we build tend to work well when we prioritize collaboration, civility, and community. But, when corruption goes too far, it distorts ethics, morals, and civility, which is what's been happening in the USA for decades. Inequality has created so much blatant corruption and fraud that the very foundation of our society is being destabilized. The "people taking advantage of programs meant for someone else" are usually the rich in America, creating and exploiting every loophole they can to make money. This creates a brutal environment that makes everyone so anxious and desperate that they're "in it for themselves" and all that blind greed and selfishness tears the society apart.

 

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/11/the-pursuit-of-happiness-how-the-american-dream-turned-into-greed-and-inequality/

Edited by LivingnLA
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I pretty much have everything delivered these days. I really don't like it because I have always liked to touch/look at those types of foods that are fresh or a certain size (e.g., fruit, meat, potatoes, etc.). Also, now we have to shop through a few stores (if you want to have things delivered) Whole Foods, Marianos, Amazon Fresh, Jewel, and Panera (for some breads). However, there are several tricks you have to play. For instance, even if you order something from a store it may not have it so your best bet is to wait and then order on another day from another store and if that store does not have it move on to a third. Finally, once you get what you want you have to make sure that the store has an accessible delivery date and time. It becomes a to and fro until you get almost everything you want (weird stuff is still not available at certain stores, like orange juice or napkins). And they have this odd ritual where they ask you to either mark whether you want to have an item substituted by another one. Obviously, if you say "no" you won't get anything. But if you do not tell them a specific substitution they will first text you to see if what they have chosen you want to be the substitute. However, if you are not available they fill in what they think should fill in. It is funny what they consider to be appropriate. The other day I ordered a full roasted chicken (which they did not have). When I did not answer they substituted it with Curry Chicken Wraps. Who knows why. Why not chicken soup?

Then once the date for delivery is chosen the stores no longer will come into the main portion of the building - which is fine with me. I have them buzz, tell them that I am on my way down, and then pick up the bags on the main floor. This can be over a 3, 4, 5 day period until all the gaps are filled.

 

You have explained exactly WHY I take the risk and venture out 1 day each week to shop. I just don't have the patience to "do the dance".... And I wouldn't be happy if they substituted and sent me something I didn't want or like.

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I was thinking about what shopping for groceries was like when I was a kid. There were unusual things or specialty items that you just couldn't get and you did without them. If you ran out of something, you didn't run out and buy it, you did without it until grocery day. If the store was out of what you wanted you just waited for it until they restocked it. I also remember that we had quite a few older neighbors who never shopped. They called the grocery store and placed an order by phone and it was delivered later that day. All the houses had those doors for delivery men to place stuff in. They called them "milk doors." Everything old is new again.

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Report from the front, at the Weston Creek Woolworths. I wanted to buy a couple of things this morning, bread being the main one. They didn't have cones and tape marking out a queue to enter, and there wasn't one, but they have installed a sensor-operated barrier at the entrance. They may be using that to limit entry when the shop is busy but it let me straight in so I don't know if it does that. They have also installed an automatic sanitiser dispenser just outside the entry, you just hold your hands under it and it squirts sanitiser into them. In the toilet paper aisle, people were stopping to look at the fully stocked shelves!

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In the toilet paper aisle, people were stopping to look at the fully stocked shelves!

 

How sad that the very notion of fully stocked shelves of toilet paper sounds like something out of "The Stepford Wives."

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I was thinking about what shopping for groceries was like when I was a kid. There were unusual things or specialty items that you just couldn't get and you did without them. If you ran out of something, you didn't run out and buy it, you did without it until grocery day. If the store was out of what you wanted you just waited for it until they restocked it. I also remember that we had quite a few older neighbors who never shopped. They called the grocery store and placed an order by phone and it was delivered later that day. All the houses had those doors for delivery men to place stuff in. They called them "milk doors." Everything old is new again.

 

For the youngsters here: My grandmother’s house which was built in the early’30’s had a “milk door.” She had a milkman who delivered milk and dairy products and placed the products in the compartment which had a second door that opened into the house. AND the milkman picked up the empty glass bottles and took them back!! Recycling long before it became fashionable.?

 

In addition to the milkman, here in Kansas City, I remember the Manor Bakery delivering bread and other baked goods. My grandmother had a man who delivered eggs, too. I think they all used that “milk door” compartment which (as I recall) was about 15” wide, 15” high and 20” deep. The inside door had a lock so a burglar could not get into the house using that as an entry.

Edited by bigjoey
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For the youngsters here: My grandmother’s house which was built in the early’30’s had a “milk door.” She had a milkman who delivered milk and dairy products and placed the products in the compartment which had a second door that opened into the house. AND the milkman picked up the empty glass bottles and took them back!! Recycling long before it became fashionable.?

 

In addition to the milkman, here in Kansas City, I remember the Manor Bakery delivering bread and other baked goods. My grandmother had a man who delivered eggs, too. I think they all used that “milk door” compartment which (as I recall) was about 15” wide, 15” high and 20” deep. The inside door had a lock so a burglar could not get into the house using that as an entry.

 

just recently a local dairy has started up delivering milk and eggs to my area. growing up we had had delivery from: a milkman, bakery truck and fish man

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While that's true, it makes it sound like it's rampant, which is factually untrue. We are social primates evolved to cooperate and collaborate. Humans and the societies we build tend to work well when we prioritize collaboration, civility, and community. But, when corruption goes too far, it distorts ethics, morals, and civility, which is what's been happening in the USA for decades. Inequality has created so much blatant corruption and fraud that the very foundation of our society is being destabilized. The "people taking advantage of programs meant for someone else" are usually the rich in America, creating and exploiting every loophole they can to make money. This creates a brutal environment that makes everyone so anxious and desperate that they're "in it for themselves" and all that blind greed and selfishness tears the society apart.

 

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/11/the-pursuit-of-happiness-how-the-american-dream-turned-into-greed-and-inequality/

 

Many of the service providers that I have known be they housekeepers, repairmen, gardeners or escorts have only taken cash for their services and taken advantage of programs designed for the poor (in addition to not paying taxes). I once put a pencil to paper and figured out my housekeeper was making the equivalent of about $50-60,000/year (in today’s dollars) while taking advantage of poverty programs.

 

Yes, the “rich” have programs that benefit them but those programs are normally not designed to benefit someone else. Those programs are usually designed by the legislature to specifically benefit them and surprisingly enough, the members of the legislature get campaign contributions, “gifts,” and often lucrative jobs after retirement and book deals. In law school I learned that every “loophole” was put into place by someone and were not random events just waiting to be discovered. (I can be cynical)

 

Yes, our system is corrupt. But the corruption goes beyond the above. Many people I know get Netflix by using another family member’s code. In NYC, about 20% of public transport riders do not pay from what I have read. All up and down our society, people are cheating.

 

None of this is new to our society and caused by recent “income inequality.” It is part of human nature. Over thousands of years, income inequality has been the general rule with a small wealthy elite and a large poor population. Looking over the long sweep of history, we may be better or worse but the differences may be how religion enforced social values or severe state actions kept down bad actions (public hangings or cutting of the hands of a thief come to mind).

 

Yes, a society is better when people cooperate and collaborate. That is the ideal. We agree. Where we differ I think is in whether our society is collapsing due to “income inequality” or just the nature of humankind coming to the surface. In actuality, crime rates have been falling since reaching a peak in the 1990’s while income inequality has grown over that time period; the last two decades do not tend to show a correlation between a rise in income inequality (which is real) and crime.

 

So this thread does not get hijacked by this discussion, I suggest you start a new thread in this forum. I have stopped posting in the Political Forum so it would need to be in this forum and kept to a general, non-political nature but more of a discussion of human nature and how people behave.

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Those are all good reasons @RealAvalon , but the point IS, she is not WITHOUT food, weighs over 300 lbs at 4'11", and can PAY for food delivery. The other day she asked me to pick up a few things ate the market for her, and she stiffed me out of $11.50. See a pattern here ? And while I dont want to hijack and make his thread about me, I just needed to vent as I am ripping mad.

Since she’s morbidly obese, she might consider fasting for two weeks.

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My house in a country town has a 'milk door' but alas there are no milk deliveries. My mother had the house built in 1968 and the milk door was on the side of the house where there was a flat for my grandmother, and she had had one in her previous house. Where I lived in the late 1990s we had milk deliveries, glass bottles that they collected to be reused (not recycled). The milkman supplied a polystyrene foam cooler to keep the milk cool.

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I grew up in South Central Los Angeles during the 1950's. We had a milk door where the milk was delivered in reusable glass bottles. A Helm's Bakery truck drove by a couple of times a week. You could step into the truck which the driver operated standing up. The inside of the truck had numerous drawers filled with the most wonderful freshly baked items, including fantastic jelly filled doughnuts. On Thursdays the fish truck drove by so the Catholics in the neighborhood could purchase fish for Friday dinner. In those days Catholics were "required" to eat fish on Friday. We also had the "Good Humor" ice cream man drive by once or twice a week. He had a catchy tune played on a loudspeaker that immediately attracted all the kids in the area.

 

We kids played baseball in the street, we never locked our doors, and we played outdoors in the evening without any fear on our or our parents parts. In retrospect they were very wonderful carefree days. Maybe it's just because I'm getting old but I miss those days. It is just possible that the time for me to go is approaching.

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