Short-term "loans" to escorts

[Rick M]

I'm dealing with a young guy who just experienced a tuition shortfall. Out of desperation he asked for an advance on our next appointment, which will probably occur a month from now. I went ahead funded him. I don't have a problem financing people I know well and trust--boyfriends, or at least someone local--but he lives in another city, and although we have "connected" well in the past, the details of his life are unknown to me. I'm not looking for advice... I've already made an executive decision... but perhaps others may like to air their opinions on the subject in general.

[seattlebottom]

My father used to tell me to only lend the amount that I was willing to lose.

[Beancounter]

My father used to tell me to only lend the amount that I was willing to lose.

Ditto. While your executive decision is admirable I hope you made your decision knowing that even if he doesn’t follow through on this prepayment it’s not a big deal. Life will go on.

[+ E.T.Bass]

Only because a buddy of mine runs into this with young guys he chases on Grindr, the tuition shortfall predicament is something my buddy has run across where in the end was not the case, but I don't know your guy so trust your got I'd say.

[jawjateck]

An offering outside of a scheduled hobby meeting will likely end your contact with that provider. Let him call it a "loan"; that's fine as long as you are ok gifting it to him. A loan repayment is a low probability event in our community.

[Walker1]

Ok being nitpicky, but I would hardly call that an executive decision?

[+ oldNbusted]

Secondary meaning: a unilateral decision

 

My opinion on the topic in general is if it is someone I click with, if they can arrange to get to me, I'm happy to hire them.

[hypothetically]

“I need tuition money” is a template, at best.

 

My rule of thumb is, and one I always recommend to clients, in regard to “short term loans”...instead of hastily offering to hand an escort cash or advancing him for the next session via Venmo/PayPal etc., offer to pay the institution directly (as a parent would), or ask for the payment portal (which most colleges have) to pay tuition online, ask for a screenshot of the balance, or to cover the costs of the books he needs etc. There are many ways to verify the authenticity of a request before handing your money over to the unknown. His response will speak volumes.

[+ azdr0710]

please let us know if he comes through with the regular meeting next month.....thanks.......

 

(I really do hope it was for tuition)

[+ purplekow]

Rather than just advance next month's payment, why not just see him the next day? He gets the money, you get laid, Better than what happened this time, He got the money, you got screwed.

[+ JEC]

This is a NEVER scenario for me

[liubit]

Not a good idea. I have done it only a couple of times, knowing full well that I could lose the money but not caring about it because it involved small, expendable amounts. The number of “terribly tragic situations” boys can come up with to elicit pity attests, to say the least, to their extreme creativity. The only way I have been paid back has been with free sex.

[+ Keith30309]

I’ve loaned money to young acquaintances twice and it didn’t end well either time.

In both cases I got a sense of resentment from them when trying to schedule the follow up meet. I started to feel like a bill collector: “Hey, are you available next Tuesday to meet?”.... “No, I have other plans.”

[+ FrankR]

In my experience these types of requests tend to finish off the...friendship, shall we say. Or at the very least it sprouts tentacles for future requests. Even if the guy agrees to see me again, there will be resentment. ? And he wont be able to afford traveling to me and needs another loan for travel expenses. And can I help him out with some holiday cash so he can get his mom a gift. And...and... Let us know how your decision turns out. ?

 

I follow the same approach as @purplekow - try to set something up immediately. ?

[former lurker]

In my experience these types of requests tend to finish off the...friendship, shall we say. Or at the very least it sprouts tentacles for future requests. Even if the guy agrees to see me again, there will be resentment. ? And he wont be able to afford traveling to me and needs another loan for travel expenses. And can I help him out with some holiday cash so he can get his mom a gift. And...and... Let us know how your decision turns out. ?

 

I follow the same approach as @purplekow - try to set something up immediately. ?

 

I agree with most of what you've said, but I'd add that if you're concerned about repayment, future requests, extra costs to schedule a repayment in service, etc., you should simply not advance the money. If I were to advance money, it would be without expectation of repayment in cash or trade. I'd be clear that it was a gift. If he offers a free session, I'd tell him that would be great, but I don't expect it. In my scenario, there'd be no point to trying to capitalize on the free session asap.

[nsguy45]

I had been seeing a smoking hot college jock regularly for months, when he texted me that his two roommates had entrusted him with their shares of the rent and his debit card was hacked, leaving his checking account wiped out. I knew him well enough to know that he was probably lying and suggested he contact his bank and the police and stopped seeing him.

[tsgarp]

Just change your terminology - it's not a loan, it's a gift. If later on you get a gift in return, all the better, but never go into the equation expecting repayment and you'll have no regrets.

[ericwinters]

My father used to tell me to only lend the amount that I was willing to lose.

 

Me too. In fact this is the only lesson of value I learned from my father... that and don't let some asshole rain on my parade... turned out he was the asshole... but I degrees.

[+ poolboy48220]

I gave a guy I'd hired some money to fix some situation, don't even remember what it was but it wasn't like bail money or anything :-) The next time he was in town I contacted him to meet, and he asked "Did you expect this to be part of the money you gave me?" I forget how he phrased it. I hadn't thought that, said no, and I still wonder what he would've said if I answered yes.

[InterestingGuy]

I’ve been surprised at how often I’ve been asked for money as an “advance” - most recently two weeks ago by someone I’ve met only two times before - he threw me a curve ball because we were supposed to meet and three hours before our meeting, he contacts me to CANCEL and at the same time ask for an advance on our next meeting.

 

As a general rule, I simply say “I don’t do that.”

I also find it effective at all meetings to let them know I only operate using cash. I don’t Venmo. I don’t PayPal. I don’t Zelle. None of that. To ever receive money from me for any reason, you need to be standing in front of me to hand it to you.

[+ Hung_Cody]

http://giphygifs.s3.amazonaws.com/media/7NbNXY0hXaBWw/giphy.gif

FUCK no.

Twice I had pretty regular guys, seeing them about once a week as long I was in town. I was out of town and one asked for an advance on the next session.....I agreed; that was April and he's been flakey or just ignored me since. He's pretty stupid because he lost a devoted regular client over $300....

 

Other Escort had gotten too close....was texting me daily about his life and regular job...friends etc and then when he was in a cash crunch wanted an advance. He eventually did make good on it but as soon as he performed for the prior "loan" in a couple days wanted another one. He still messages me and I don't even care to collect. Escorts can make a TON of money if they're good and reliable and can even put away money for the future. There's no need to reward the flakey ones who can't budget and who rather than treat their work as a business (work hard at the gym, respond to messages quickly, update their marketing regularly etc) spend too much time and money on traveling, shopping & partying.

[cany10011]

I‘ve given a visiting czech escort more than 6K as he kept on pestering me after our visits. He was very nice and apparently had lots of debts to pay. Anyhow, that is 6K gone. We still keep in touch, but he has never broached returning the cash...lol. Oh well, listen learned. And, by now, my interest in him has waned...

[KeepItReal]

I‘ve given a visiting czech escort more than 6K as he kept on pestering me after our visits. He was very nice and apparently had lots of debts to pay. Anyhow, that is 6K gone. We still keep in touch, but he has never broached returning the cash...lol. Oh well, listen learned. And, by now, my interest in him has waned...

 

[David1024]

Generally I would not advance any guy money unless I knew him well and believed the circumstances. One guy I used to see regularly was in financial difficulty and I offered to loan him money. He declined, saying that he did not want to compromise our relationship. The second time, he did take money from me but was almost paranoid about making sure he gave me adequate “service” for my money. He was well into his 30’s, so a different profile from the student types that need tuition money. I would probably not consider it outside of such circumstances.

[craigville beach]

“I need tuition money” is a template, at best.

 

My rule of thumb is, and one I always recommend to clients, in regard to “short term loans”...instead of hastily offering to hand an escort cash or advancing him for the next session via Venmo/PayPal etc., offer to pay the institution directly (as a parent would), or ask for the payment portal (which most colleges have) to pay tuition online, ask for a screenshot of the balance, or to cover the costs of the books he needs etc. There are many ways to verify the authenticity of a request before handing your money over to the unknown. His response will speak volumes.

 

as former President Reagan is reported to have said "trust but verify"