JB_Studio38

Okay, you know I’m going to have to go in on you..so, just put your seat 💺 belt on because I’m about to give it to you straight 😂 First of all, idk what the conversation was like prior to what you started with. I don’t imagine that it went from getting dressed to “on your way” in such short notice, how much notice did you actually give him? And even if you did get dressed in 2 minutes, that’s not a time frame. Y’all should have set a time frame, and if it was less than 1 hours notice, it’s no wonder it didn’t work out. Clients and escorts need to discard this idea that we can meet at fast as an Uber can arrive: plan ahead and avoid miscommunication. It doesn’t have to be days ahead…just 2 to 4 hours can make a difference. This is why I stress clearly I require at least 2 hours notice for all bookings. I don’t care if you’re at the hotel room next door to me…or should I say, UNLESS you’re at the hotel room next door to me lol. Even yesterday I had to tell a client: The earliest I can get to you is, two hours from now (would have been 9:30 p.m.). Reason why I ask two hours notice is because: it gives time for both people to figure out location and time of arrival. It also limits rushing and leaves time for unexpected time delays. The other day, a client of mine went to the wrong hotel which had a similar room number as mine. Since it was less than two hours notice, he forgot to get the actual name of the hotel 😂 You seemed spur of moment, he seemed unexpected…It was just an unnecessary dumpster fire that could have been avoided. I don’t think it’s just the young generation. I have seen older guys blow up my phones texting…asking ETA, here yet, etc etc. almost like they’re clutching their phones in anxiety. It doesn’t need to be that way. When I’m doing non-business hookups, I don’t rush the guy. I just make sure everything is okay and chill if they coming to me. Worked just fine the other night. Sex is a privilege, not a right. Patience is key. It’s funny how people always want it fast when THEY want it, but when I want it: they want to drag it out and take days, weeks, YEARS to return a text. I often see a common issue where clients try to plan too much other stuff around booking a date, non of which involves the escort: but expects the escort to drop their whole life and rush to their beck. Ah, no. If they can plan this and that and everything else, they can plan time with us too. Not some last minute, spur of the moment, now or never type of interaction..

As an uncut person with Latin background who isn’t a bottom but, depending on the situation…I say SUCK IT, you might like it 😂

This is perfect, long as you’re not sending it to multiple guys in a day/weekend (obviously it would suck for the other guys to not get booked if you did). It shows you’ve read the ad, you offer more than one time option, it’s not last minute (which could be ignored if not available), and you include stats and picture. I would consider you a serious booking and respond right away. I always say if someone does have to contact multiple ads, at least wait 1 to 2 hours in between (and that’s fast compared to the times I’ve had to wait for guys to reply back to me lol). I had someone contact me the other weekend, while I was at brunch. I call back in 20 minutes and claims he booked someone else. But then texted back after saying how he’s very interested and will reach back out in a couple weeks. Well thanks but, he couldn’t even wait 30 minutes though. And when I asked for a few details about him so I could have an idea who he is: no response 🤔

And another thing: I am just noticing a lot of weird shit happening from the RentMen messenger area. Guys contact and then don’t respond back, only to come around months later and not respond again: Never replied back, even when I left my contact info and details. Now the same guy: And then he doesn’t respond back again 🤷🏾‍♂️ Granted I’ve not wrote him off yet, but it’s this type of stuff that’s about to compel me to cut all access to communication on RentMen and RentMasseur and only be contacted thru my website. This is why I’ve once again wrote to RentMen asking for changes. And if the person had any issue with my policy, why come back around again and reach out? If he can remember from 2017-18 then he certainly can remember from September. It’s just way too many games out here. I’m trying hard not to close my RentMen messenger access, but each week I’m feeling pressed to. It’s become too much of a “Grindr”, where guys expect us to stay on there and small talk with them round the clock, and we don’t even get paid for that. RentMen needs to convert that to a paid function for US, if potential clients expect us to keep engaging.

That is a reasonable approach. That’s why I have included the time and date plus reference to my rates (starting at 200). But of course, all the time I get, “how much is your rate?” when I have the details for it listed in my ad. Which shows they didn’t read the ad. I don’t know how they find my number, before reading the ad. Like I say, I have mentioned to the sites about how they NEED to bring back transparency on rates (even RentMasseur who allows rates, people either don’t read it or see the one rate and expect it to cover everything). With this tik tok nonsense though, idk if things are going to get any simpler. Hence why I’m staying ahead of the game with my website and contact card. And I need to start putting my rates on it too and just sending that before I respond to anything.

Before RM, nobody had access to an instant messenger option. They’d have to call, text or email. Most providers would not answer a blocked number. There’s various phone options available if someone wishes to be discreet. Plus I find most people who don’t want to exchange numbers aren’t doing so because they’re so discreet. Just paranoid. That’s about as similar as the ones who would call private, and usually never show up. I’m already meeting you with likely no face or idea what you look like. Something that they probably wouldn’t dream of doing themselves. Damn sure not going to have me meeting with no phone number.

In the case I refer to, I am more implying like a very nominal amount to schedule. Like a $10/20 booking fee to reach the provider. That would cover the initial setup and access to the provider. And like the ads we pay for, it would likely be non refundable. From there, the client and provider could discuss whether additional deposit for travel or hosting is needed. The point is, to not be a sitting duck 🦆 for millions of texts and messengers that go nowhere day in, day out. But of course, leave it to some sites: they rather earn money from us than the “buyer”. I feel not setting a precedent for clients to pay us from the get go, is the reason why the deposit discussion keeps coming up in the first place. RentMen and A4A doesn’t allow rates posting. Lot of these guys talk to us about everything else, except the money. They want to know where we are at, if we’re in town, are we available…but nothing at all payment. Can’t put the 🛒 before the 🐎 Someone here mentioned I bring up the business part too quickly: I say it’s not brung up quick enough. No point in going over a bunch of details, only to get to the rate and/or deposit and they aren’t able to do it. And some here have said they get annoyed if the escort waits until the day of the booking to ask for a deposit. After dealing with someone last month who messaged me twice on messenger, had contacted my profile in the past, and then texted me only to say, “Sorry I only do cash”: I made sure for now on, to include it right next to my number in my auto reply. So now there’s 0 excuse going forward.

Part of the reason may be because, when I leave my phone number up…I get bombarded by spam messages like this: and and Not to mention the ones who call out the blue when I mainly prefer just text. HOWEVER, even though I let messenger be the initial contact, I have explicit instructions to text me. However, if they respond to the auto reply or say nothing at all…then I’m not going to take time out of my day to engage, because they probably just playing.

I’m still propositioning to websites: We need to move towards a Uber/Lyft model where clients are expected to pay SOMETHING upfront to book us. Mind you, when you book an Uber or Lyft, it’s no “I only do cash”. The entire amount is charged upfront. I only ask for $50/$100 deposit and some guys scared to even do that…but they expect me to pull out my credit card and book a hotel because they don’t want to book a room to host either. It’s like come on, it can’t be one sided. After awhile, you don’t want to keep playing the fool for a “potential” to earn money. I would do better gambling $100 on lottery tickets, than on a hotel where I have no appointments pre-booked that day. If we can pay for ads with our card, clients can book an appointment with theirs. You can go to dollar general, or dollar tree and buy a prepaid visa/master card. It doesn’t have to be tied to your main account. And I wouldn’t mind deposits to go towards ad costs and platinum boosts. Or some other way of outsourcing the funds to make it accessible to us. I know it can be done, the pressure just needs to happen. I know it probably can’t be as refined and play by play like Uber is (obviously when you contact Uber, you have multiple people ready at that moment and the point of contact requires less time than an actual client/escort encounter). But having dozens of RentMen messenger replies that don’t lead to an appointment? This isn’t Grindr. We pay to advertise and sometimes pay just to provide accommodations. Guys on Grindr don’t go book a hotel to host. I see it all the time around town, “I CAN’T HOST” even though there’s dozens of hotels in the area. Clients should be putting down nominal fees to request a booking with us. This culture of expecting the escort to spend, spend, spend their own money before making a dime, and the client being stubborn and unwilling to provide a deposit, let alone a picture of themselves…needs to stop. One can only be played for a fool for so long. The only way that model can work, is if you’re a single gay guy in the city with your own place. And majority of your clients are only within a few miles away. In San Francisco and New York perhaps. But not every escort lives alone in the Big city. Some can’t host or need notice to host, others like myself travel to different cities for business because their home market is dead or dried up. I can’t afford to work without deposits because that would be too much gambling. I stopped booking in-calls without a deposit, because many will cancel last minute on hosting escorts (I got called into work is a favorite line).

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And that has to do with me how? Nice that you find it convenient to relate me to something that wasn’t even referencing me. Never said it was. I’m just saying what I know and have discussed as it pertains to communicating on apps. The attention spans can be short. And if I’m trying to meet clients from the platform and most are anywhere from 1 to 3 hours away from where I reside, I don’t have all the time to go back and forth to get tidbits of info. I rather have those details first upfront and then be able to quickly figure out whether this is someone I can accommodate today, or not.

Jeffrey Dahmer is just one possibility. Other possibilities is cop, time waster, cheap guy with only $100 to pay for bareback, list goes on. Fact is: non of it is good intent IF the person asks my location ON RENTMEN MESSENGER IN HIS FIRST EMAIL. I deal with this shit all the time. I use Grindr sometimes. I can tell a fake dude from a real one. The “where you at” guys are likely weirdo creepers. They may not be dangerous or ill intent, but they just don’t have the right motives. When does anyone ever start a conversation with “where are you located” without disclosing anything about themselves? I’m not saying clients have to be perfect communicators in every way, but it’s the basic things that matter. When my auto reply went to him, he should have texted me and responded to the questions asked. Many of these guys choose to ignore basic instructions, which just creates miscommunication and resentment. Female escorts asks for WAAY more than I do. They want employment, linked in, ID, references. Gay clients need to get with the program. I’m not even asking half of those things, and these guys turn their nose up. Again, as discussed in previously closed thread: I think a big issue of a lot of my roadblocks is the area. These Midwestern, sheltered dudes have absolutely no game or skill on how to approach a male sex worker of color. It’s hard work. I recognize that, but I hate when people on the forum try to denigrate and dismiss the difficulty of it. Once I get to a more conducive market, hopefully this stuff will be in the past.

And I’ll say one more thing: lot of these “non deposit” guys, they often are more afraid of what they want, it’s less to do with a deposit. It’s their insecurity and ignorance towards sex workers. As if we can’t be responsible enough to be trusted with payment ahead. That’s why stuff like “fuck first, pay after” is used so commonly around here. But what they don’t tell you is, the times people have done just that, and either didn’t receive payment or only gotten partial payment.

Thankyou, I never asked you to in the first place. I don’t know why you felt the need to to make that sly comment on the other thread. Fact is, I did not assume everyone has to “align” to my preferences anymore than you stated: “Personally, I choose not to pay deposits or prepay for services. I've had experiences in the past that taught me this lesson.” That right there gives the impression that you had bad experiences paying deposits (likely because you didn’t do you due research) and are trying to allude to others not to do so. That said, if you don’t want me to address you: don’t address me. Farewell to yourself, I never invited you to respond to my posts, especially if you going to come with an attitude trying to call me out ✌️

Since some people on here think everything I say rubs them the wrong way, I’m just going to quote reference what other providers have to say: An Escort Explains Deposits GOODCLIENTGUIDE.COM Flaky behavior, no-call no-shows, and last minute cancellations have become so common that providers seek to... “The costs of hotels and other overhead expenses have also risen. Rents have spiked; it’s now extremely expensive, often prohibitively so, for many providers to rent a separate apartment for incalls, for example. Online advertising is now much more expensive. We also incur other expenses to see you: fuel and transportation, childcare, turning down other paid work and other appointments, and so on. Again, these costs are often tied to a singular appointment, so we need you to show up or to be financially compensated if you flake. Many factors, too, have led to the apparent rise in overall shenanigans. We may get a lot of inquiries, but a high percentage aren’t serious. Chalk it up to whatever you like – the overall erosion of trust and the social fabric amid a global pandemic, climate change, war, economic jitters, an overall culture of ghosting, etc, etc. But the vibes have shifted. Serious clients differentiate themselves by putting down a deposit” And I think specifically: @JamesB, @Trick, @BostonDadType, and some others need to read this because: y’all are taking it a bit too far making statements that aren’t true. Educate yourself, before you accuse someone of something ✋🏾 🛑 I refuse to pay a deposit. What should I do? Only contact providers that don’t require them; then show up for the appointment 100% of the time. If all clients did this, providers would not have to ask for deposits.

Meh, I know it sounds like a reasonable question…but it’s not. It’s not the question that’s the problem, it’s the way it’s being asked. It’s creepy, lazy, and gives me absolutely no reason to give out anything about where I’m staying. People who don’t formulate complete sentences in a response usually aren’t serious or, 50/50 chance of being so. Also, since the person hasn’t volunteered any info on themselves…I have to ask something. Suppose I just give out my location, to a complete random from RM messenger, and he has bad intentions. How would anyone know who he was. Why do you think it took Jeffrey Dahmer so long to be found… Dahmer targeted LGBT people whose lives weren't valued by police - The Washington Post WWW.WASHINGTONPOST.COM What many depictions miss is that LGBTQ communities of color were easy prey for Dahmer due to histories of... This is where being educated and informed…even if there is no danger present, comes in handy.

Yeah, I just think some (gay) people have short attention spans. It just amazes me how detailed I have to explain stuff to people everyday. Like earlier, someone thought I was “already in town” even though the city he asked about was in my nearby travel cities. I’m like dude, no. I’m not about to travel hours away for $200. And no…I’m not just arriving magically into a city and hanging out waiting for guys to call. That requires gas, hotel, food, and then somehow have to stay entertained in between clients. It’s not something that’s done by default with no clients Pre-booked. I’ve been the fool and did it many times, sometimes I still do because I want to go to a city for reasons other than clients: but then I’m waiting days to get the first real booking. I can’t explain it any more than I have already tried to explain it a million times. Rentmen and RentMasseur doesn’t even give us enough space to talk about these things in the profile. I’m trying to move towards a different model of business where I’m available by appointment only, and willing to travel. But if people can only think in the “now” and assume before actually getting the facts, it can get confusing. I realize part of the issue lies with the websites. It’s not always the clients or the escorts fault. It’s the communication platform has somehow not been sufficient in conveying to clients how providers work individually.

That’s how it should be. No drama. You have a day in mind, and a time…If it doesn’t work I’ll offer mine. And we either can or don’t.

And here’s an example I refer to of WHY I don’t like to use messenger and give specific directions to contact me: Dude sent message at what, 20:57 on a Saturday, which is almost 9 p.m. at night. I didn’t notice until 11:15 the next morning. Now notice the single ✅ versus the double ✅✅? He never read the last message and ignored my auto reply with direct info to text me. I never received any text message, but it wouldn’t of mattered either way because I don’t take short notice meets in that area anyway. Can’t make anything happen if they ignore the directions 🤦🏾‍♂️

I clearly let them know in the RentMen messenger reply that I don’t set up appointments on there, and that I leave my phone number and all other instructions/details to book the session. Now: for the record, I stopped posting my phone number on my ad, especially at the suggestions of a couple members here and other places I’ve researched. The RentMen messenger is more of an optional luxury that I use simply because of the auto reply feature. Now, RentMasseur email: I’ll use it and engage very briefly because it tends to be a bit more thorough in the responses. But most rentmen messages are far too “Grindr” like for me sit around all day and entertain. Now, as a courtesy I’ll occasionally respond to their message and let them know I received it and answer their question…but will add to still text me directly to arrange something because, most seem to be looking to meet for that day or, I don’t know when they want to meet and I can’t gauge it from simply communicating on the app. The app is simply a facilitator to the next mode of contact. I do not make appointments from it because it’s not really conducive.

This may not pertain to those who have limited or no nudes posted: but in my case I already have an array of pics and people still ask me for private pics without even greeting me. I stopped unlocking pics long time ago. The requests get my auto reply with all relevant information. If and when RM decide to pay us to have our private gallery unlocked, then I’ll entertain. For now, it’s just simply MY private gallery where I release pics I want to move to public, and rotate out. But I had to go thru last year and deny like hundreds of requests to unlock…many who have no picture of their own. My business is not a free peep show. Even though, for the most part they are getting exactly that. But I just try to stay true to the game and still show people what is relevant. And majority never do. That’s the sad part about it. And the ones who do text, 99/100 be playing games too. That’s why I had to revamp my auto reply as stated to eliminate ANY possible confusion or non sense: like huh? Who said I was staying anywhere? No introduction or anything. Like I’m just supposed to give out an address? This is why they get auto responses.

I have been petitioning RMass and Men for awhile to change the “available now” to options like “available today/available tomorrow”. I also find “available now” rarely gets me the immediate business I want anyway. However I do it anyway because it makes the profile appear more “live” and active. I have seen profiles that haven’t even been logged on for days/weeks, and it could give a “not available” impression (if they read it much). In fact I’ll occasionally use “not available” if I’m really just not wanting to be bothered during inclement weather, holidays, or if I am planning to visit an area but don’t want to get any “u available now in (insert city 500 miles away)” This is also where I try to explain to people: simple-stupid isn’t always the best policy. People think having one rate, one availability option, one everything just works. Naw. Give people options. People want things to be so simple but, they get confused on the simplest things in the process. Even Amazon has: paid shipping, free shipping, 2 day, next day delivery. I get it that gays want things to be easy and no brainer, but reality doesn’t work like that. Available now shouldn’t even be a vocabulary in online conquests. My availability is not a bath house, where I’m waiting outside the door holding a big green sign 🪧 AVAILABLE NOW. And guess what people say when they see available now? “Hi are you available now?” 🤦🏾‍♂️

Well that’s why I often try to ask questions always, in a 1. 2. 3. format because, it’s too much room for error. I would have been sure to know exactly where I was going/city all upfront. But then again that’s why I like to see text exchanges. It’s not to be messy or put anyone on blast, but when there’s 2 sides of a story, it’s easier to see what/how things might have went miscommunicated. Like the buffoon last week texting me some bogus bullshit at 3 in the morning. But what I didn’t show is: his 2 week delay in response to my last message. That’s why I was like: fuck your advice, he can’t even respect my time why I would I take anything he has to say as relevant? ✋🏾 Anyhow, how did that relate to RentMen messenger again? lol

Yikes, that’s a big stretch of a difference in location for sure. Hopefully it can be made up for…

So this is the response that goes out each time I get a response on RM messenger. But what do some do? Start having a mini conversation with the auto responder, and don’t text as instructed. I’m asking for a very specific way to contact, and leaving my number and link to my website at the end. Someone did the exact same thing yesterday, and I didn’t even notice it until the next day because I was busy anyway with plans. But the kicker was, the time he offered was simply: “asap” in a city that’s listed in my nearby travels and is 3.5 hours away; which I don’t offer same day appointments in generally. I’m finding it seems RM messenger guys might be hesitant or avoidant to give out their number. Idk why but, I would not meet anyone off solely the app unless they arranged a deposit and picture and even then, they would likely have to exchange their number unless it’s email only. I feel if someone is going to treat the booking process like it’s un-important, how are they going to turn out during the actual meet 🤔