Jamie21

The best comment on this subject I’ve seen for ages. I totally agree.

I kind of assumed the private pics had to be different? All my private pics are different to the public ones. The site doesn’t let you post sexual pics on your public pics page. If I try to upload a pic showing my cock on the public pics page the pic is rejected. My public one has pics that would be ok on Instagram for example, and the private pics page has pics I’d post on Twitter 😂. Twitter isn’t so prudish about publishing nudity etc.

You sound like an exception. Unfortunately there’s too many who take an extreme transactional view or who just can’t plan or commit. Example yesterday I had a message at 4:51 pm “Hey, are you available for massages?”. At 5:19 pm I replied “Hi, yes I am”….. at 5:41 pm he replied “booked elsewhere, thanks”. I guess I replied too late! Then I had an exchange of text messages around 9pm with a guy who liked my website and pics etc. That exchange stopped abruptly without a request to book or a ‘no thanks’. Just …nothing….it’s like he lost his phone! Also yesterday a guy asked at 6:30 pm if I was available that evening. I was busy so said “no, but I can do tomorrow evening”. There was no reply to that. Then, this morning at around 9am he asked if I was free at 2pm today. I said ‘no’ because I was busy and offered this evening or other times later in the week. He asked for 8pm this evening and I said yes to that and asked how long he wanted. This was all by 9:30am. I got no reply back….so I chased him at 4:30pm because someone else was asking about this evening. He replied to say he was still working out his schedule…and that was the last I heard. So it seems to me that all these potential clients either get off on the thrill of discussing the booking, are window shopping or are simply so self absorbed that they don’t consider that I might have other bookings (from people who are able to organise themselves) or that I have to do things like eat, sleep and do life admin. This is all actually nothing compared to the work it takes to arrange filming sessions or collaborations with other guys for my Justforfans. That is a whole different level of aggravation and frustration with guys who flake, prevaricate and dissemble.

Yes my perspective is that my rates are advertised. So I know that if someone opens with ‘what’s your rate?’ they haven’t really looked much at my profile. If that’s the case then they’re probably just browsing casually and their primary concern is cost. That’s not my market.

Most clients don’t seem to want to kiss. It’s very intimate and wouldn’t be part of 90% of the massage. I think for the majority of my clients they’re looking for a great massage that slowly builds up the sexual tension. If you do that right then some clients can be so turned on by the end that they do want to kiss. If I think he’s looking to kiss I will work my way up his torso kissing the nipples, neck, and then ear before whispering “do you like to kiss?”. That usually results in him turning his head to kiss or turning away if not. He’s in control that way.

If it’s a video featuring you the registered model with another person (even if only their dick is shown) you need to have that person provide approval. In practice it’s difficult for someone to prove it’s their dick…as in you don’t have to get your dick pic in your passport pic! But if you upload a film that has a guys dick or other body part and he hasn’t provided consent (maybe you asked someone else to provide their ID to get the film uploaded and published) he could complain to Onlyfans and they’d remove it.

Yes this is exactly right. If it’s a 4 hands you need some kind of extra because it’s not so easy to relax into a 4 hands massage; there’s too much going on. I’ve done 4 hands where the client wanted us (the masseurs) to interact with each other and have sex with each other for the client to watch. It worked well although I really don’t think you could call it massage. It starts like a massage but develops into an escort session. Another thing I’ve done in 4 hands to make it ‘different’ is an undressing ritual at the start. We blindfold the client and undress him slowly before leading him to the table. It’s a nice way to start.

It makes sense to have an Onlyfans or justforfans. It’s another revenue stream. I set mine up few years ago, it was very useful when the pandemic was on and I didn’t see many clients face to face. You do need to publish regularly and film good quality movies plus every model you film with has to provide ID and consent to release the movie.

I’ve done 4 hands for clients many times, even a couple of 6 hands. First thing to say is it’s expensive because you’ve hired two masseurs. I do it with a few other masseurs who I trust and who I like working with. It’s a better experience for the client if you work with someone you’re compatible with so if you’re a client booking a 4 hands choose a masseur you like and then ask him to pick the other guy (or masseuse depending on what you like!). I did a 2 hour 4 hands session recently for a guy. It was with a masseur I know (we have similar styles) and we worked head / feet ends and side by side at various times. Overall I think it worked fine and the client loved it but in general most 4 hands last an hour and progress quickly because the client tends to not want much massage. They want fun with two guys so it usually develops into more of an escort session very quickly. I’d recommend that better value for money is had by getting a 2 hand massage. There’s too much going on with a 4 hands, it’s difficult to relax into it and unless the 2 masseurs are super coordinated it can feel disjointed. I once did a 10 hands, not for a paying client - it was with friends. The guy on the table was anxious about it. I think my friend who had arranged it was keen to do it and had talked the body (the recipient) into it, but he found it difficult to lay there and get massaged by 5 guys. There simply wasn’t enough room around the table and everyone was doing different things in different ways. You couldn’t call it a massage, it was a group grope session. The poor guy couldn’t get hard and had to stop after half hour. He got dressed and left! More hands definitely doesn’t make a better massage. I think the law of diminishing returns comes in after two hands.

Texts can be answered when you have time, and discreetly if in company. Calls (unless a time for them is planned) are often made when you can’t answer because you’re with someone or in the middle of something and you can’t speak openly. I prefer my clients text or message me on WhatsApp. If they want a call it needs to be pre-arranged so I can take it somewhere quiet. Also I’ve found that clients who want to call sometimes are just looking for sex chat. They deny it but then ask questions like “what will you do to me?” etc. I have to say that I don’t do sex chat calls. This is why most guys prefer arrangements to be made by text.

I used to be on it, it’s got quite good reach, I would get regular business from it but the site was glitchy and they never seemed to get the billing right. When I tried to speak to them to fix things on my profile it was impossible to get hold of anyone who could communicate clearly. So I didn’t renew my advert.

Mostly I do massage, for some clients it’s more like an escort service. I have no upper age limit for escort or massage clients, it really doesn’t matter. The only thing for massage is one needs to be healthy for massage. In fact I think I enjoy seeing older clients more than younger ones (especially as I’m not a young provider anyway!). That’s a generalisation of course, but from my experience I think it’s true. If you come across an escort or masseur who is picky about age (or size for that matter) then chances are he’s in it for his own satisfaction and not necessarily that of his clients.

Yes! Although some clients don’t read much it seems to me. I think my location is clear but I still get messages assuming I’m in their city, usually some place in the US.

No such thing as a non sexual turn on!

Unfortunately so many guys working in this industry don’t like to commit time in advance. They think there will be something more interesting come up on the day, so committing time in advance prevents them from taking up those other opportunities. It’s very opportunistic. I do take ‘on the day’ clients but I think I must end up declining at least half of the ‘are you free today?’ clients because either I’m not available or because they are drunk/high/got nothing off Grindr and are horny. Those clients are not my market. Most of my clients book a couple of days in advance, and a few book months in advance. I’m fine with that and almost always it’s possible to find a time that works for them. Many from overseas plan visits to London and schedule their booking with me during that time. I saw you said you were INTJ on that Myers Briggs test. I think I’m INTP and I generally don’t like to plan things in advance. I like the fact that for at least 50% of the time I have no idea what I’ll be doing next week. It could be anything. The trouble with that kind of thing though is it’s often nothing 😂.

I’ve had a few members visit me as clients for massage. It’s really nice to meet the person behind the name. It’s a very friendly well regulated site.

Yes. For market research purposes and continuing professional development, and for that reason the cost is tax deductible. Sometimes I also collaborate with other providers for filming purposes. That’s free of course because we both get content. And then there’s the friends who do sex work who I sometimes play with.

Great story! Massage is a journey of exploration. Escort or Masseur it doesn’t matter the label but the good ones know that the journey is more important than the destination 😉. I was massaging a client recently and it seemed that nothing was happening: no reaction to my touch, no movements, no noises. I tried lots of the usual things (eventually you hit on the thing that starts to get the person going). It’s never the genitals or nipples - far too soon to go there - it’s another part of the body or a different type of touch or even a word whispered in their ear. But I couldn’t find it and she lay passive. As I was working her bum at the side of the table I dropped my oil bottle and it rolled underneath. I reached down to get it and my hair brushed her open hand at her side. This seemed to prompt a reaction so I stayed there while she ran her hand over my hair and face. A finger went in my mouth and that was it. From that point on she became reactive and increasingly aroused. Everyone has their ‘buttons’. Sometimes you find it easily, sometimes not so much, but you shouldn’t do anything in the ‘usual’ places until the person is almost desperate for it. It’s like a car journey to the sea. The road twists and turns, you go around corners and get a glimpse of the sea on the horizon but then it’s gone again. As you get closer the smell and sound of the sea becomes stronger and excitement grows. That’s the journey: Keep them guessing, show them little glimpses, take them on a winding road of surprises. Afterwards they should have learned something about themselves.

They’re not the laws where I come from. Of course one adheres to the law, even if it’s wrong. Laws change when law makers are compelled to change them if society requires it. So I shall continue to argue that sex work should be lawful, but regulated. If the state (England in my situation) introduced regulation around sensual massage that would be great because it would help drive out bad actors and bring legitimacy to a practice that is worthy of it. I wonder what ‘licensed massage therapists’ would think of ‘licensed sex work massage therapists’? I’d suggest the latter is a more challenging and demanding job.

I see the irritation @misterhumphrieshas around therapeutic masseurs being conflated with sensual or erotic masseurs. It’s because of out dated and puritanical attitudes towards sex, and the law being an ass. I start from the position that there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing sex work. As long as no one is being exploited then sex work is as good as any other work. It’s a societal need, and I hope that one day society will be mature enough to recognise that. For me, sensual or erotic massage is simply another type of massage. One should be properly informed and trained about the health risks etc, and trained to perform proper massage strokes, but ALSO be trained to massage genitals and areas that therapeutic masseurs don’t go. It’s certainly not just rub and tug. A great sensual masseur will understand how to give a fantastic therapeutic massage and they’ll understand how to arouse their client. It’s as much about what’s going on in their head as what’s going on in their genitals. In our society no one gets taught about how to get pleasure from their body, they find it by trial and error, if they find it at all. Having a sensual massage is a great step along the way to becoming a better lover.

You really do understand the massage scenario. As a masseur this is exactly the kind of thing I would recommend.

There must be some mentality that insists people should fall into categories that they define: “a sex worker is… a prostitute is…” etc. Lawyers? People who can’t abide ambiguity? People who like control? I’m a masseur, a sex worker, I have sex for money, I make porn. What category should I be in?

For me it depends how big he is and whether there’s going to be lots of positions. A small one (5 inch or less) is usually ok with a few goes with a bulb douche. If he’s big and it’s going to be extended multiple position sex or if I’m doing porn filming or a sex party then I’ll use a shower attachment and make sure everything is clean at least 2 hours before. I’ll also time my eating and avoid certain foods the day before. Probably also reassure myself with a bulb half hour before the session. Sometimes it’s not possible to anticipate so on those occasions it’s just bend over and hope everything is ok. I saw a client recently and wasn’t expecting to bottom so hadn’t prepared apart from superficially (in case a finger went in lol). During the session he wanted to top so I flipped him over and sat on it hoping that it would be a quick one (time was nearly up). Fortunately it was and when I got off I had a quick look to check everything was ok and it looked fine. I’ve no problem if things get messy, just stop and clean up, but some guys do freak out about it.

Unfortunately some clients think that sex workers are just doing it for fun in a casual way, and so they don’t see cancelling at short notice as being disrespectful. It’s an attitude I come across occasionally. They assume I’m just hanging around waiting for their call. They think it’s no big deal if I’ve wasted time travelling or preparing, or lost other work because they made an appointment on a whim and have now changed their minds because something better has come along. It’s an incredibly selfish attitude. Some don’t even bother to tell you they’re not coming, they just don’t show up. It upsets me because I really try to be professional and have high standards. Fortunately it’s usually possible to see this casual attitude when they make enquiries and so one can weed them out before they book. 99% of clients are great but there’s always a few who make life difficult.

Yes ‘giving him his time back’ is kind of not the thing he’d want. That time has already gone and he’s probably spent time preparing and booking the hotel etc. All of that wasted. He certainly wouldn’t see it as having the time back! Last minute cancellations are very annoying indeed: it’s impossible to schedule anything else and you’ve already committed time and money (probably) to the session and you’re out of pocket if you didn’t take a deposit. I’m not surprised he was annoyed. You should have messaged him to say you’d be late, turned up as soon as possible, and of course paid him the full rate even though your session was shortened. Sometimes if a client is late and I can move the session I’ll shift it all back by 15m but that’s only if possible and for a regular. If he is ok to accept another booking then I think you should pay a deposit when you book because I expect he will be reticent to commit again.