KennF

Never had that experience at Johnsons.  Most of the guys are social while off the stage and more than a few really enjoy doing the stage show part.

Very few where "speedos".  Most are in their tight briefs by the third song.  And I've never met one that wasn't willing to let you see or touch him while giving him a tip. 

So I keep meaning to ask, and if someone prefer to DM the answer that's fine, too.

What happens in the private rooms?  I can let my imagination run wild, but I'm curious as to the reality, preferably by someone who's done them.

In advance, thank you. 

On 10/24/2023 at 4:58 AM, Simon Suraci said:

If you’re not skilled at massage, I recommend sticking to escort service. There’s nothing more disappointing than a massage from a provider who has no idea what he is doing. You can learn, of course, but until you develop your skills, I recommend not advertising massage.

And this is where I hit the "too much dialogue" problem.  Guys who offer a massage and I ask if they are trained.  When I want a massage, even if I want a massage + more, I still want a good massage.

I was a LMT for a lot of years, and I really prefer someone who knows what they're doing.  And, I might want a HE or more (at a higher rate).

For me, there is nothing worse than someone advertising massage (instead of body rub) and not knowing how to give a massage.

Slightly off-target on the topic, but totally relevant.

I recently read through a white-paper on the methods used by various people based on the generation.

• Baby boomers prefer face-to-face, phone, or paper.  Many struggle with using apps.
• Gen Xers prefer phone, email or desktop apps.  They find texting intrusive, unless they are from family.
• Millennials think phone calls are intrusive.  Texts and social media is fine/normal, but hate depersonalized messages.  They accept apps and mobile sites with ease.
• Gen Z (Zoomers) avoid phone calls and will ignore most of them.  Texting directly is weird.  They prefer social media, and expect apps with direct messaging to their apps.

 Couple this with RM's changes and you get a nice overview of how to reach your target market.

It's all about the communication.  The conversations aren't "easy".  But they don't have to be "difficult" either.

It comes down to being honest with yourself and with them about what 'services' fit into each box.  Example: if he gives you a call and say you feel like going to see a movie.  You go to dinner and a movie and even hang out later.  That's friendship.  However, If you end up swapping blow jobs, that's not friendship.  Or maybe, blow jobs are fine, but it depends on whether it is during his normal work hours, or on afternoons when he isn't working.  Or, it depends on who initiates.  Or, who gets to top who.  

Whatever the definition is for you and him, as long as you both (1) respect and (2) keep communicating, then it can work.

I always feel that this is true regardless of what type of relationship you have with a person.  

I even hold that true for colleagues/subordinates/bosses at work who become outside of work friends.

So, I'll speak in the minority (maybe).

You are giving your power away.  You are turning yourself into a victim and you should take a breath for a moment.  Regardless of the fact that we don't have all the details, that's not important.  We aren't involved and can only respond to the details you've shared.  We are neither judge nor jury.  My opinion is only based on your current information.

You need to accept that you are giving him your power.  Sorry.  And I know it is scary.  It is probably because you are 'embarrassed', 'ashamed', 'afraid', <fill-in-the-blank> of him revealing or outing you.  This is really about him stalking you and taking advantage of your giving him your voice and power.  That doesn't mean ignore it and hope it goes away.  You do need to take your power back.

Three possible suggestions:

Suggestion 1: Tell him you owe him nothing and that if he continues to harass you, you will go to authorities.  You consider his behavior bullying, abusive, and harassment, and unacceptable.  You are ceasing all communication and further attempts by him will result in you going to the police.

Suggestion 2: Stop ALL communication.  If he calls, hang-up without saying anything.  If he texts, block the texts.  However he communicates, do NOT respond.  You're reaction is a lever for him to control you.  If you don't get riled, then he has no control.

Suggestion 3: Go ahead and report it to the authorities.  Talk to an attorney and listen to their advice.  You do not have to lie about it.  You don't have to obfuscate.  If need be, tell them the truth.  The issue here is about escalating behavior and stalking. 

Just my tuppence.

Just for the record, I am not a lawyer, nor do I play one on TV.

I can definitely recommend.  He is a definite yes!

7 hours ago, Michael PhD said:

Fully agree after learning a lesson with this guy. He continues to text. Will need to block if this continues. 

Stay strong.  Clear boundaries and limits.  Communication,  communication,  and communication. 

If he can't,  then no massage is worth the psychologist visit 

On 7/14/2023 at 8:47 PM, LFABWC said:

It’s such a shame  that “Pretty Woman” was only a fantasy…..but I am sure there should be at least one case with a “happy ending”….🤣

It isn't just a fantasy,  but it takes a heightened maturity to have that level of communication.  Most people rarely communicate that clearly, hence blurry lines.

I have seen it work once.  But the dos, and don't, were tough conversations.  In the end it worked for about 5 years, until thr jealousy crept in.  😞 they made a cute couple 

5 hours ago, MDinNY said:

Hello. Want some feedback. 
 

I met a guy for a massage. Went very well and after the massage was completed, we played for almost an additional hour. 
 

I did not prompt that - the masseur invited me to his room and bed. 
 

He messaged me last week and asked to meet me this this past weekend for some fun - no discussion about massage. When I got there, he had his table out. Told me to get on. I told him I hadn’t planned to get a massage and that we probably have a misunderstanding. He told me it got him in the mood to massage me. We moved to the bed about 20 min later. 
 

At the end, as I was headed towards the door, he asked for his fee. I told him again I came per his request since we had fun recently but was not scheduling a massage. He was upset but said he would be clearer next time. 
 

He just messaged again and asked to meet. I asked if it was for fun or for a paid session. I told him I would reach out when I needed one. He then told me to come over for free. 
 

The massage was excellent but I now see him as too much drama. What would you do? Stay away? Or give him another shot? If so, as part of a session only or only for non paid fun?

There is a lot of discussion about clients confusing the boundaries and turning a paid-for experience into something more.  I think you have the opposite issue.  The provider is blurring the lines.

It sounds like he might genuinely enjoy your experiences, but still wants to have his time paid for.  That's creating a lack of clarity.  You might want to decide for yourself if you want to explore a relationship or just keep it professional.  Once you decide for yourself, you need to have an clear communication with him so that there is no mix up.

One thing you shouldn't do, is allow the dysfunctional aspect to continue.  You are already starting to feel awkward (or you wouldn't be asking).  By the way, there is nothing wrong with having a for-pay fuck buddy that is really turned on by you.

3 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I currently do not. Nor do any other media outlets feature video content of me. That could change in the future. Who knows?! 

Where would you want to hear about it, if I did upload some kind of pay per view or subscription video content? What do you think would be the most appropriate way to share it? Should I post to OF and never link anything to it or advertise it in any way? Include as a sidebar in my other service ads, but not be the focus of the ad? Curious what others would like to see.

Considering previous comments, it seems no matter where I tried to promote myself someone would be annoyed at any mention of OF.

FYI I’m using OF as a catch-all umbrella term that would include OF, JFF, and other similar sites, not just OnlyFans.

As with all marketing and branding,  it is in the messaging.   Someone here or on RM can certainly add to their listed links an icon link for their websites..  where it gets gawdy or detracts from the shoppers intent is where, I think, it goes wrong.

When the verbiage directs you to a pay wall site for info...red flag.  RM is where shoppers go for live interaction, so directing their attention elsewhere is the disconnect.

Directing someone to a scheduling or information site, is good even it shows links for OF.

For me, I might prefer for you to show it to me while we are together, before we slept together.  Hehe

21 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I agree. Anyone advertising on RentMen should be willing and able to meet in person. That’s the point. Just because someone does OF on the side doesn’t mean they can’t or won’t do in person meets. But I get it, some of them use RentMen as a misplaced advertising platform to plug their exclusively online presence. Clients browse RentMen to hire in person services for the most part. If clients wanted to view OF models on screen, they would go straight to OF. Kind of a waste of everyone’s time if it’s only a glorified ad/link for OF.

Now wondering if Simon has a OF page.  Nah.. don't care... I'll wait for the real thing.  

On 6/24/2023 at 6:38 AM, Wolfer said:

Another red flag is last minute plan changes. Any time an escort has asked me (quite last minute) to push back the start time (sometimes even by an hour!) or, more recently, told me he'd be hosting at a completely different address at the other side of the city than the one initially confirmed, it's never been a good session. 

The last time this happened I just canceled the session, even though I did not have other plans and would have been able to accommodate the difference. But my mood had been so soured that I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it anyway. To top it off the provider got annoyed with me for not agreeing to the (very last minute) change in plans without even apologizing to me. 

I've had the same initial reaction.  And recently had a last minute change of plans.  The provider asked to push it back a couple of hours.

The difference for me was he was willing to meet the original time and asked a favor after explaining his reason.  In return, I offered a different day/time or the original.  He agreed to the alternative and thanked me.  The encounter with him on the new appointment was FANTASTIC. 

We were communicating and had developed a rapport.  That made all the difference.

On 6/25/2023 at 10:55 PM, tonyward said:

He said he doesn’t send face pics… that should have been a clue, but I was dickmatized lol and people gave good reviews.

The lack of a face pic is always a non-starter for me.

I can get a faceless encounter if I want.  Since people always try to show themselves in the best possible way, if they hide something... well... there is a reason.

On 6/27/2023 at 5:08 PM, FunGuyUS said:

hey did you ever meet

The 'place to meet' is an obstacle.  I don't invite people back to my home until I have a chance to meet them once.  I was considering a hotel nearby, but got an uneasy feeling when he suggested a low quality place.

On 6/21/2023 at 9:24 PM, BiDude420 said:

Women escorts are much more up-front about their demands/protocol for initial contact/communication. In their ad they will be up front about their preferred method of contact (text/call/e-mail/website form), their availability, how to talk to them, and any screening requirements and background checks. If you follow their instructions and communicate clearly they usually get back in a very timely manner. Things like rates are disclosed in the ad, and there is a sort of language used between clients and escorts that make it fairly easy for everyone to know what to expect. As a result, the whole process is smoother. There are fewer questions to ask up front. 

The initial message is basically "Hello I am so and so, I saw your ad on this website. I want to see you on this date and time for this many hours, are you free."  Things usually proceed pretty smoothly from there. 

I think some of this is just differences between men and women. As someone who dates both, women are in general better at scheduling and communicating. They also tend to be much more accommodating.

I don't know maybe it is just something I have to get used to and maybe I am just a bit spoiled. It just gets annoying, it seems like some of these guys forget they are supposed to be the ones convincing me to hand over hundreds, if not a few thousand, dollars.

I think I start to see why you wanted to a difference between male and female escorts.  It is strictly supply and demand versus expectations. 

With women, there are more options.  So they have to be more attentive to trying trying to convince to give up your money but with guys there are fewer and they tend to be traveling from city to city..  As a result the supply is lower and it's equally on both the provider and the cliento make sure it works.

But you are also right in that there are a lot more gay 4 pay.  It sounds like you really want to be with someone who enjoys gay sex.

Just be careful with the filters because there are a lot of gay guys who don't list gay and instead or marketing towards guys who wanna be with str8 men.

22 hours ago, BiDude420 said:

Hey guys! 

I'm a mid thirties bi guy. I decided I wanted to hire a gay male escort because I'm tired of Grindr/Sniffies but I'm also looking for some specific things (mostly guys into certain acts). I've hired female escorts before and had great experiences, so I thought this would be a breeze. However, it isn't working out and it seems that the practices in the straight escort industry don't translate. Most times I reach out I get no response. I was able to hire two guys on different occasions, but they seemed to be straight guys and not really into the things they said they'd be into. Not a great match So I figured I should start from scratch.

I think part of this comes from my location. I'm in the suburbs of NYC, I think I should stop searching locally and try to find guys in NYC. But here are my problems/questions, and any solutions/answers would be greatly appreciated.

I guess first thing is, where are good places to search? I'm looking for an escort, basically BFE (does this mean the same thing as GFE, except with a B instead of a G?) Should I mostly look in NYC? I've been using Rent.Men and filtering but it gets kind of dead out here on LI. Are there other sites?

How should I go about my initial contact? I have reached out on the Rent.Men messenger and texted directly. I have also tried a4a. I even text I get very little responses, and in general it takes a while for guys to get back. Sometimes they'll text me back 8 hours later asking if I am ready Right Now. Is there a good protocol to follow to get a guys interest and show him I am a good, respectful, kind and serious client? Are there ways I can filter out some guys so I only connect with guys who are a bit more professional, serious and customer service focused? Am I just spoiled by women sex workers and have to adjust to the reality there are fewer options this way?

I'm willing to build up trust with an escort over time too, I understand if some of the things I want (groups with two or more escorts) may take time and chemistry to develop. 

Any help or feedback would be appreciated. Also, if you're interested in taking on a tall vers/vers-bottom guy as a client maybe just reach out on here.

 

You have already gotten a bunch of good advice.  Sounds like you're in mid-Suffolk, so that could be the biggest obstacle.  We both know that people in NYC'ers are not likely to have cars.  They see someone from Suffolk County and don't bother. 

To overcome this, you may want to consider changing your approach and in your original contact let them know you'd like to bring them out to Long Island for a visit/day/trip/weekend.  Or, let them know you're willing to meet them in NYC.  Or, let them know you're arranging for car service.  

As for finding the right one or filtering... I leave as many filters off as possible.  Many guys skip over certain settings.  If you filter in Body Type: Jock, and a nice jock-type doesn't check the "Jock" box, then you'll miss them.  Look for guys that have had longer term active profiles by looking at the Member Since or Joined On dates.  Also, the number of profile visits will give you an idea on how long they've been around.  New profiles tend to be chancy and if you want a serious professional, you want someone who knows the industry.

But as for the which app... RM is probably the best place.  Just don't limit the area or distance.  At least half of the guys are traveling around the country.  In the hetero market, there are lots of choices next door, no matter where you live.  In our market, the guys are willing to travel more, but they need to see you as serious and direct.

Just my tuppence.

And if you want more details, feel free to dm

On 5/20/2023 at 2:05 PM, marylander1940 said:

Unfortunately some might hire a masseur expecting extras for the same rate, and I'm not referring to the happy ending... 

I know many escort that when asked for a massage reply: "I'm an escort, not a masseur". 

I find it easier to ask an escort if they have massage training if I want a mixed appointment.  Sets some expectations if what I want is more than a massage. 

13 hours ago, AZN_NYC said:

If it is really oversleeping then I would not have any problem with that. However, anyone can see this is just a lame excuse to get out. Between ending of business dinner and walking back to hotel, there are plenty of time to send a simple text replying my request for update but instead he chose to be radio silence and only send a short message "I fell asleep" the next day. A bit more context, the previous 2 meetings were good but same pattern. Meeting was set in early afternoon but only happened late at night. But they did happen though, unlike this time. I also replied to him that I am not happy he stood me up as I have spent time preparing for it and was also worried if anything happened to him since we texted a lot before the day of appointment but he suddenly stopped. His one word reply "Bummer" shows lack of sympathy and at this point I decided to write him off. 

Ah.. yeah... th3n 8t is a lame exuse...option b

Good for you

19 hours ago, AZN_NYC said:

I will have to take a flight as driving would be 10-12 hours so not practical and will stay at hotel as client cannot host from home. He said he wants to meet for 3-5 hours and not overnight as he wants a good night sleep but agree to pay for the full day expenses. I am thinking of listing out hotel cost, uber to hotel, flight ticket. I may want to stay there for some extra days for my own vacation so perhaps will pay for the extra days myself. Would it be appropriate to ask for meals ' expenses for the day of appointment? 

In General, He'd be expected to pay for round trip air,, round trip to the hotel,nd for a reasonable predium meal.  He's booking you for the day even though he's only going to use 3-5 Hours of that time.  If you want to add Anything then that's on you and any cost changes as a result are on you.  As an aside even if hes only using a short portion of your time. He? Is. Paying for the day and if he has an opportunity to call you or make other arrangements with you. I think it's appropriate for you to be available.

On 6/15/2023 at 3:57 PM, Simon Suraci said:

@KennFYou know where to find me!

I’ll haunt your dreams long after.

Well, when you settle out let me know where... or if you are in So FL let's see about it.

My husband used to snore and wear a face mask.  And that's why king sized and california king size beds were made

On 6/15/2023 at 6:28 PM, AZN_NYC said:

. I am kind of forgiving person and I understand sometime things happen, but the way he communicated just show that he did not have any respect to my time or me in general. 

I actually have more forgiveness for the overslept part.  Less so for the not immediately apologizing and offering compensation. 

We all make mistakes and it's about what we do after the mistake happens.  It's why I wouldn't write the client off immediately but would be more guarded on the next time. And look for some way to get compensated  either in money or in clarifying the boundaries..

8 minutes ago, Starlight77 said:

Hey guys.   I had an incident a few days ago and wanted to bring it up on here.    I was visiting Washington DC and met up with an escort that has been on my radar for quite a long time.  He gets rave reviews and we have been chatting on and off over the year but never got a chance to meet up.   Well the time finally came and the session was not great.  He could not perform and after about an hour of messing around I decided to leave.   (We agreed on a two hour session).     He was gracious and apologized saying he's been tired or whatever.  I wasn't necessarily upset with him,  but I guess I was just more let down and disappointed as I was looking forward to a great evening and nothing happened besides some heavy makeout and sucking his limp dick.    As I left,   I put the payment on his coffee table and he refused to accept it because he knew that I did not have a good time.   I didn't know what to do in the moment if I should have insisted for him to keep the money or take it back.    I did wind up keeping the money and not giving him a dime.    Did I make the right decision?   What would have you all done?   

Respect for offer the money.  And respect to them for refusing.

It would be about whether I wanted to make it work next time, or write it off.

I would have felt appropriate to either (a) leave some portion for his recognition of the issue, and make an attempt re-schedule, or (b) accept that you won't see him and respect his wishes with a "Thank You."