KennF

I love the male form.

At some point, tattoos or piercings alter my focus from the man and his masculinity, to the ink/artistry, and then I lose interest.

Are we talking about reality or technicality?

I don't believe that the disclaimer is a defense against prostitution, however, it is a defense against solicitation. In some jurisdictions the offer of sex for money is the offense. With the disclaimer, the offer is, technically, contingent on the disclaimer terms.

Reality is a different matter. That hinges on the politics of the jurisdiction and politics of the LEO involved.

@j0ck7 thanks; looking forward to meeting him soon!

Did you get to meet up with him?

I'd be interested in your feedback. (PM me if you prefer).

I know this thread is old, but I met with Ethan Sunday in New Orleans, and I had a great time. He was very engaged and engaging, and time with him is very worth it. I'll work on a review, but he is certainly recommended.

And me as well. He's in my neck of the woods, and piqued my desire. *winks at @Topseed*

Labels describe. Labels don't define.

"Top" describes whose cock will be going into some "Bottom's" ass.

Being a "Top" doesn't define what other things they also do. Rimming, being rimmed, in your case swallowing, etc...

Top doesn't even define who is physically on top or who is in control. There are plenty of aggressive bottoms who like to fuck themselves on a guy's thick cock. In that position, the Top is on bottom and more passive, while the Bottom is on top doing most of the work.

bump

Welcome to the boards Lefty.

I find the texts immediately afterwards a nice touch. It certainly leaves the communication open, and when I'm considering another session, the ones that were nice always pop to my thoughts first. Their text to me encourages me to use that text to say "I was thinking about our session again..."

But each escort runs his business differently. Some think long term and want to build long terms client relations, while others see it as a strictly transactional business.

You are operating under the impression that everyone's reason here, is solely to market. Are you here to market yourself?

No, I am under the impression that good businessmen should always be aware of how they are being perceived, since clients/customers are potentially found anywhere.

Being nice here won't necessary get you a client, although some escorts make such a good image of themselves that posters are very willing to hire their services, if arrangements can be made, based solely on their online persona. But, being aggressive or combative here can lose you that opportunity. That's what I mean by.. you don't do yourself any favors.

Your business... your choice in how you manage it.

If he wants to withhold something (sex with someone) from HIMSELF, then that's HIS issue.

Interesting... It now sounds like you are equating "not hiring you" with "withholding sex from himself". If so, that suggests he only has two options in life: a) sex with you; b) no sex.

because I've got several clients I'm scheduling this week.

Glad to hear. I hope you do well by them and that they do well by you in return.

I'm sorry you've allowed yourself to feel that way. But I have to tell you, you're operating in a way that an emotionally abusive person would, and need to work out those issues in counseling, not with me. That's a learned behavior. If you feel that withholding sex (e.g. Not hiring) from someone is your way of gaining power over that person, you are operating under an emotionally abusive personality.

 

You just said, strictly based on my attitude here. Therefore, beyond anything else: it's a control factor on your end. You want me to act a certain way to appease you, but since I'm not doing that...you want to voice to me and the Internet, that you won't give me something that I never asked from you in the first place: your dick/ass/money.

 

https://www.gentlepathmeadows.com/blog/item/68-withholding-sex-is-a-form-of-psychological-abuse

*chuckle* I've noticed that you do like to deflect and attack people.

Here, you are equating "choosing not to hire you" with "withholding sex" from a relationship. But, not hiring is not the same as withholding. Withholding refers to something you were entitled, had a right, or some reasonable claim, to receive. As you weren't entitled to his "dick/ass/money" in the first place.

In analogy, by not hiring a barber, am I withholding my hair from every barber? No.

A businessman needs to entice the sale/customer. They aren't entitled to it.

If your real life persona is vastly different than this online persona, then you aren't doing yourself any favors in marketing to potential clients.

I appologize for the impersonal nature of the automated responses, but I send them for two major reasons.

1. limited time: I may not be able to respond personally due to the fact that I am a one man operations and do not have a way to answer the phone when I am busy working or at the gym. So the first reason is like an answering machine. It collects your information so I can call you back when I am able to.

2. Screaning: first automated response is designed to give me a quick reference to the type of call I am getting. I have tried to shorten this since the first time I used it. I actually have made 10 revisions and each revision gets smaller. This also screens out people who are drunk or not serious.

I play bridge in my spare time. One of the things it has taught me is that everything has a plus and a minus. Each shortcut, has a drawback. Each advantage leaves a weakness somewhere else. That's true of business and this industry.

There are styles of responses and messaging that focuses on your clients needs, while still accomplishing your goals. Your automating the process and trying to find a one-size-fits-all, is costing you opportunities. You're screening out both the good and the bad.

Your methods are probably losing you business. Based on what I am hearing, your approach lost three or four different clients on your trip through South Florida, myself included. I ended up engaging someone else's services for an extended evening.

I think people forget that we are not dealing with a large corporate and professional organization for obvious reasons.

This is all a one man show for each Escort, and that makes it virtually impossible to run it like a professional business.

I would, respectfully, disagree. Clients aren't thinking they are talking to large corporations. Clients, for the most part, understand that they are dealing with individuals. There are plenty of flakes that think you are a walking porn site for them to get off to. But you shouldn't lump the good/potential clients in with the flakes.

And none of that means you can't run your business in a professional manner. There are MANY luxury entrepreneurs who are one man/woman shops.

https://rentmen.eu/Lance_Navarro

@Lance_Navarro

If I may interject here...

Discussion about religious and political views put barriers in the way of an intimate and rewarding interaction.

That is simply my opinion, but my opinions should be kept out of Business Advertisements.

So in the future, I will leave my political views out of my ad.

You are certainly entitled to your views, religion, and opinions.

There is a far difference between having opinions and broadcasting them, either in your ad or here in your public statements.

I don't hire escorts because I want to engage in a debate over their views or to find places where we have differences. These become barriers between people, instead of ways of connecting. I picture an escort as someone who should try to find common ground in order to allow the client to open up and feel comfortable.

I want to feel special and comfortable enough to be open and vulnerable. I want to let my guard down for a time. I don't see where projecting these political, religious and social views provides that safe space emotionally for me as a client. And, I don't see where these public views really support your business.

I would prefer that the time hired is focused on me. Yes, as a client I want to be selfish in that way. If I have to spend my time avoiding topics, refusing to open up because I fear the escorts reaction, or judgment from an escort's firmly projected and fixed opinions, then I can't see the value in that interaction.

PS: The nine texts in response to an initial greeting/request, all basically saying "I want money up front" was just another barrier. It was extremely off-putting.

He is a smoker, if that makes a difference to you. It does to me alas, otherwise I would hire him

Thanks... it does make a difference to me. It's actually a deal breaker. I can't stand the smell or taste.

Any current info? He's coming to my area.

Once again, you're making baseless ASSUMPTIONS.

There was nothing baseless in my assumptions of your comments.

Plus, I never said anything relating to denial of HIV being a free pass to go bareback.

Nor did I. I am simply pointed out that your position on STD's is questionable. Using bareback and disease together is your doing and how you started this thread.

Stop trying to connect one thing to another.

No.

Condoms, although originally intended to deal with unwanted pregnancy, were promoted in the gay community as a direct response to the HIV/AIDS crisis. (I was there when the marketing began in SF and NYC) They were not invented to deal with STD/STI. Gay men, for the most part, look at condoms through the marketing lens of HIV prevention and making sex safe again.

Now, the introduction of PrEP and the greater understanding of how HIV works, has adjusted perceptions again. As a result, the risk levels perceived in potential clients is changing.

Either your business model adjusts to that change, or you will lose market share to attrition. The market is changing, and you need to adjust. Either differentiate yourself for value-add and specialize, or, lose business to those that will.

If I'm judging bareback, then by definition you're defending it.

I am stating the reality of the situation. Whether I bareback or not, is my business. You don't want to engage in it in yours, so clients desiring it are going to say you aren't providing the service they desire.

I am judging your response to barebacking and that I freely admit.

My judgment: I believe you are being unreasonable and inflexible. Either bareback and take proactive steps to limit exposure as well as reactive steps when exposed... OR... Adjust your expectations on business and find a way to differentiate yourself (specialize) in a narrow market space... OR... Do nothing and complain, although I doubt this is really an effective business strategy.

If you'd just understand where I'm coming from

I do understand your point of view, however, I am not required to.

If you want to send a message that all escorts should stop engaging in bareback sex, then go ahead... but don't expect that they are going to change because you ask them. And don't expect sympathy for your business conditions just because you are unhappy that clients want bareback sex.

If you want to say that clients are being fooled, by the porn industry, into engaging in risky behavior then you're missing the basics of business. The you've got it backwards. It is the reduction in risk assessment, specifically of HIV, that is the current driver behind increased bareback sex and the acceptance of bareback porn.

drop something so unrelated

HIV scared people into condoms. Understanding risks, treatment options, and knowledge are resetting opinions back to where they were before. HIV and Condoms are NOT unrelated.

And yes, consumers are pushing for such things...but what do we do to change that, without losing potential business?

Not to be rude... but the options are clear. Either:

• Differentiate yourself and make the other services you provide worth more than the value customers place on bareback; or;
  
• Narrow your market space to only condom using clients; or;
  
• Lower your price to increase your market space to offset the lost market; or;
  
• Provide bareback services (with all of the pros and cons involved); or;
  
• Find a new industry to work in;
  

You can't change the entire market to your personal preferences. Adjust, adapt, change, or, close up shop.

There are too many new entrants into the market to make it possible for you to change market demands. Sorry for the truth.

https://www.menshealth.com/health/super-gonorrhea

 

And because 90 percent of people who have gonorrhea in the throat are completely unaware that they are infected, they have no reason to seek treatment.

 

I don't want to come off as judgmental, and maybe there's a topic already brewing on this subject so excuse if it is.

 

But what's with the "whole" bareback thing now? People are just boldly texting out the blue for it, and tbh it's causing me concern about how safe the business is NOT becoming. I concern some activities and risks could lead to not only STDs, but to prostate or some other reproductive tract cancer later in life, and it's because this bareback thing is becoming all too common. No matter how much prep a person takes, Gonorreah and Chlamydia and Hep can still live in someone's asshole. Then, someone else or that same guy sucks that dick and gets it in the back of their throat. Then they suck someone off and pass it to them. Rinse and repeat.

 

This is part of my reasoning for not doing porn. I feel the porn industry has pushed the bareback agenda to a point of normalcy and now it's become more common than ever. I wouldn't want to be part of an industry which promotes that, which in turn makes us have to do riskier and riskier acts to stay relevant. I know because, when I first started...2007, 8, 9 10...nobody was asking for bareback. It just wasn't a topic of discussion. Now, it's almost as if I'm competing with guys who are doing bareback, because clients seem to not have an issue finding someone to do it when I say I'm not into that.

 

This is no diss to bare-backers or barebacking. If there's a mutual agreement and trust (which usually isn't), then by all means. Even the so called guys who ask if guys are into bareback to weed out someone who is into bareback, though clever...doesn't make sense considering the facts. I also find that's less common, as many guys turn down when you say not into bareback...meaning that's what they were looking for.

 

Why?

 

Edit: amusing literature referring to what I'm saying.

 

http://str8upgayporn.com/bareback-gay-porn-vs-condom-gay-porn/

 

https://www.outfrontmagazine.com/culture/dear-denver-whats-your-obsession-with-bareback-sex/

Again, perspective. The porn industry isn't pushing a bareback agenda. Consumers are. Consumers have both options, and have for a long time, and are pushing for more such content.

Safety/Risk taking is relative. Everyone is choosing for themselves how much risk to take and what types of risk to endure.

As for you not wanting to come off as judgmental, that's not true. The post IS about YOUR judgments on barebacking.

BTW - If I recall correctly, you're the one who's posted about HIV denial and that it is more of a HipHop propaganda message.

Good response. But I've heard that one before...but what other people say in their ads is negligible to me. No where do I suggest same day appointments only.

 

I don't mind same day appointments. Bring em. That's not the issue. The issue is emailing for a same day appointment for within the same time of day, when that's the most inefficient way of contact. Then don't leave a number. And then when I respond, they don't even reply back. Now whether its Rentmen email server or not is irreverent.

 

But, some of it is just how they roll in certain markets. People just do stuff intentionally to miss the session. They don't really want to meet, so they do something very passive Aggressive like send an email on a Saturday...hoping they'll catch your response without ever actually giving one.

Your mixing personalities and over generalizing. Most of all, you are really looking at this from a self-centric point of view, instead of the customer's point of view..

Yes, there are people out there that get their jollies by wanking your chain or just imagining what it may be like without actually engaging services. Shit happens and it comes with the industry. But, do you really think that people wake up in the morning thinking "how am I going to mess with Mocha's mind"? Sure that's how it feels from your point of view, but the people you are discussing are coming from life from their own point of view and their own idiosyncrasies.

For example:

Why do people send emails on rentmen asking for same day appointment, often within the next hour or so, knowing I'm offline and unlikely I'll get to it within the timeframe?

They are not considering your schedule or timing. They don't care whether you are online or not. That's not their problem. They saw you, thought you were interesting enough to reach out to, and shot you an email.

Why do they send emails saying they're looking to meet soon, yet not leave their phone number or any pertinent info to contact them back, other than email?

Because as far as they are concerned, that is the limit of what personal information they are willing to expose. That is their preferred method of communication. As such, they expect that is what you will use. They probably aren't Millennials who live attached to their phones, and if they are, they aren't comfortable giving out that phone to you, yet.

Why do they then take forever (or not answer back at all) to reply to the email I send (often within the same time of day)

Because, their window of interest shifted. It may be tough to hear, but you aren't important enough in their life at that moment and you may not be their only iron in the fire. Someone else may have gotten back in touch with them before you. OR, the tone of the response rubbed them wrong. OR, they changed their mind.

They feel no obligation to think of things from your point of view. Do people worry about the waiter's timing/schedule when you tell them you want a glass of water and a few more minutes with the menu?

Why do they even think that's a efficient way of making a date request. Do they email their neighbor and ask if they'd like to come over for dinner?

A) These are not emotionally equivalent. You don't equal their neighbor. They give their neighbor a totally different type and level of respect.

B) Who ever said they were looking for efficiency? When I contact a provider, I don't care whether my type of communication is the most efficient for THEM. I worry about my needs, my desires, and my comfort. If they don't want to communicate with me in a way that I am comfortable, then c'est la vie.

I can go on, if you really want. I suspect that this will be a TLDR message.

I think I must live in an alternate reality. The restaurants I go to, large and small, have clear signage that say an automatic 18% (usually) gratuity is added to large parties (usually 8 or more).

*shrug*

Yeah, but I don't think he's been advertising for very long. His ad is relatively new. I seem to recall that the first time I saw it, I was interested. But his rates were in the $400 or $500 range, so I passed him by.

As a server in an Indian casino restaurant, it takes 17 hours worked to make as much in gratuities from a non-smoking section to 1 hour in a smoking section. The problem are large parties who wrongfully presume a tip was added to their bill when it is not, and they leave nothing. Frequently. I bust my ass to make sure everything is correct and drinks are filled with regularity. Not fake news.

Well, I read you connecting two separate things. Smoking Section and Large Parties. How can you tell how much is associated with Large Parties, and how much is the smoking factor?

I don't know that any real studies have been done.

If I was spotted in public, I'd like to be approached. It's like seeing an old friend.

Thank you. I hope you don't mind me pursuing this a little further. As I said, curiosity. I find it interesting and confusing at the same time.

I've read, on these boards, that some escorts respect and guard their private lives/space. Also, that discretion is a highly coveted attribute. Since I know several men who escort as a side job which their friends/family don't know.

While, you are proud of your profession, rightly so. You would prefer that, if a stranger in the airport or street recognized you from one of your ads, they should come up to you in public.

I guess, for me, the question is "how would someone, like me, know which escorts are okay to approach, and which ones weren't"?

I have also had people spot me at airports or at my local gym. Those scenarios involved people I hadn't met. It felt really stalkerish.. they didn't approach me, they just mentioned seeing me.

Would you have preferred if they never mentioned it?

Just curious.

Right. Thanks! A client might want more bang for the buck!

Absolutely. Plenty where the camera can trick people into to thinking the guy is engaging in something he isn't willing to do. The client may think the actor would be an ideal sex partner. In reality, a client is entitled to more than the screen shows.

Back in the 80's, there were guys who would 'stunt dick' in for guys unwilling/unable, as well as doubling for the guys who were Gay4Pay.

So there are things an escort will do in porn that he would not do with a client? Payment is for services provided in both.

There is a far cry difference between what happens on set and what happens during an escorting appointment.

During a shoot, the focus is not on the client. It is on creating a scene. There are opportunities to stop and do a retake.

During a session, the focus is (or should appear to be) on the client only. There is no opportunity to stop and reset the cameras.

You have to consider all the factor s involved.

Privacy: As an escort you have some limited anonymity. As a porn actor, you have much less.

Career: What's you choice of career paths? Are you looking to use porn as an advertising tool to enhance your escort fees/market? Are you eventually moving away from both industries?

Money: Can you arrange residuals on the porn or only flat fee?

Buttonholing: Will the scene you do in porn force you into a niche market? If you do a fisting scene, will that be forever what you're thought of? Will clients be adverse to hiring you because they think that's only what you do?

Chemistry: If the scene you do is not good (the chemistry is off), potential clients will think that is how you are on a date. If the scene is smoking hot, the opportunities open up.

There can be a lot of money to be made in porn, and a lot of money to be made in escorting. The real trick is figuring out how to balance your career.

The most important thing to do is have a long term plan and exit strategy. You will not be able to do porn your entire working life, and you may not be able to escort for that time either.

From a personal perspective, I don't mind if an escort has done some porn. I do get turned off if they've done a lot of porn. At some point, I feel like they're portraying sex, instead of a personal connection. I can't tell you at what point that is, but it does exist.