MscleLovr

In answer to the thread’s title: IMO there’s a very substantial downside. With my donations, I insist on anonymity. Even with organizations that I enjoy supporting but where they rank donors in ranges (like Carnegie Hall and The Met) I insist as being numbered among the Anonymous. My reason for being strict is this. Some years ago (post 2008) I gave a lump sum of money to (what was then) a very good theatre with terrific programming. I asked for no publicity. But I later found that their marketing department had shared my contact details with other arts organisations. Six of these knew me as a supporter already and they immediately contacted me, each asking for a similar-sized gift. My contact details ended up on the marketing lists that many charities and arts organisations exchange. As a result, I received an overwhelming number of requests for financial assistance. I reckon I received about 3 letters a week (along with emails) for some years.

So @Charlie “the hottest guy” was emotionally mature and intelligent too

Total overlap. I’ve always been most attracted to handsome, very fit preppy young men 21+. And in bed I’m only a lazy selfish top with a dominant streak. So I only ever dated muscleboys who played bottom and were eager cocksuckers to completion.

It’s a very nice body. Is his face handsome @Mrprofessional ?

May I ask you to expand please on what you mean by this phrase.

I used Viagra a couple of times only: it made my erection very stiff but it also gave me a bad headache. I preferred Cialis as it has a more ‘natural’ effect on me. Neither affected my ability to ejaculate. I use Vardenafil (Levitra) nowadays as my physician thinks it’s best for me, tho I find its duration to be much less than Cialis. I climax easily when and how I want. (It undoubtedly helps that I have sex with a young, attractive partner). Some years ago, I found this too (using Cialis) on occasion. It seemed to occur when there were expectations about my ability to perform (I had a reputation at the gym as a top that could pound a bottom repeatedly and vigorously). The longer I topped a guy, the more I worried about ejaculating. I resolved the problem by deliberately relaxing and not concerning myself about the bottom’s pleasure or wants (oddly enough, this turned on some guys). I know there are a number of factors (physical and psychological) that can affect the ability to ejaculate. Without speculating too much @spaman, is your weight appropriate, do you have a balanced healthy diet, moderate alcohol (and limited drug) usage? And are you having the sex you enjoy with a partner you find desirable? If you function well otherwise, you may find it best to consult your physician on this particular aspect.

I entirely agree. I’ve had dinner at Frances many times. And I rate it more highly than her sibling restaurant in Pacific Heights (even tho that’s much closer to my house). I’d also recommend Delfina on 18th Street & Guerrero. This long-standing favorite Italian restaurant and pizzeria has been newly and beautifully refurbished. It’s in the Mission district but it’s an easy walk (8-10minutes) from Frances on 17th & Pond St. A ‘foodie’ would find much to salivate over and enjoy in ‘Gourmet Gulch’ (local nickname), the area around Delfina with Tartine Bakery (superb) and Bi-Rite Market (wonderful grocery & ice-cream) and in a separate store nearby Bi-Rite Creamery. Reserve ahead. If you can’t or won’t reserve, arrive a few minutes before opening time. Both Delfina & Frances keep a few places for walk-ins. Bear in mind that Frances is a small place (which I prefer) and has no room for strollers or people’s luggage!

Short answer: in my case, one muscleboy at a time. Serious, long answer: Narcotics Anonymous. I’ve known two muscled gym-friends who became sex addicts. One man sublimated his urges by working part-time ‘under-the-radar’ as an escort. He reckoned that using drugs fuelled his sex-addiction; he used crack. The other man was single and handsome; he confided to me that after having sex with a guy he found online, he’d go back online to find a 2nd (and sometimes a 3rd) guy for sex the same evening. Despite his good looks, he had a deep-seated sense of inferiority and he needed to be desired by other men. He used cocaine. Both men found help via Narcotics Anonymous which in a large city often has a related self-help group for sex addicts.

Respectfully I disagree. The provider said that he had “other clients interested” when he asked for a deposit last-minute. Like @Archbishop, I too might have seen this as a “red flag” - why the last-minute demand for money upfront? The demand could well have been a scam. Years ago, I’d agreed a 3 day weekend trip with an LA muscleboy. (We’d dated and been on trips before). 4 days prior to departure, he told me that another high-paying customer was offering $2500 for an overnight date that weekend. He asked me either to match the money he’d forego if our trip went as planned or he could be with me for 2 days only but he’d expect the same fee. I told him No and never saw him again.

I can’t advise on pain management (I have a permanent spinal problem but I take nothing for it) but I’d suggest you seek out a skilled chiropractor. A chiropractor, preferably experienced with elderly patients, will be able to assess her and her range of movement. Some moderate manipulation may help her considerably. Alas for you, it may take more than the next couple of weeks for her to regain full and independent mobility. Have you considered getting a care worker in for some hours a couple of times a week?

This is so wrong, and I blame you. You let it happen to you @Coolwave35 He behaved as if you were a prostitute; he despoiled your floor; and he left without paying. This is also wrong @Coolwave35 You’re the older man. It is your duty to train the younger man to be a better lover - he may be a 10 as you say, but he’s selfish in bed. Message him and tell him he has to suck your hard cock and bring you to climax, and then you’ll get in the bath and relax while he gets off 😎

It’s sad that this happened to you @TectonicThrust but don’t let this affect your new life. Most gay men are pleasant and over time, you will have gay friends and a good social life. An escort once threatened me with exposure (we’d had 3 dates before) and he was in my apartment. I laughed scornfully at him and said ‘Go Ahead. My neighbours know I’m gay, my friends all know I’m gay and my work colleagues know I’m gay.’ He then said I’d be in trouble with the law (he was 28) and I retorted that I would call the Police and report him for extortion and attempted blackmail unless he left - which he promptly did. Never pay a blackmailer. They’ll only exploit your vulnerability and repeat their demands. Remember this is a tale as old as time. Harriet Wilson at a young age became the mistress of the Earl of Craven (in the 18th C). She went on to become a rather famous courtesan and numbered the Duke of Wellington among her ‘admirers’. When she wrote her memoirs, her publisher sent letters to her ‘gentlemen’ asking for money to omit their names from the book prior to publication. It caused the ‘Iron Duke’ (as he was known) to write back his famous reply of “Publish and be Damned!”

That was certainly the case 40 years ago. That’s when I spent a lot of time there and dated various attractive men (including my first Marine). Is it still the same @EZEtoGRU? Friends have reported to me that it’s changed considerably (fewer guys for hire, unreliable professionals, flaky amateurs etc)

I agree @socurious For me, the best city for meeting hot guys is LA. NYC is a close second as many hot guys from elsewhere travel to the city. I’ve also met a few Miami muscleboys visiting LA. I understand the sentiment, but I found many become amenable if you open a big, thick wallet.

It’s reported very recently that she has moved out of the Dakota and gone to live on her farm in upstate NY. When people in great old age (which I consider to be 84+) decide to uproot themselves from a major city (with all its convenient facilities) to live somewhere rural or isolated, I’m always surprised. I wonder for how long they’ve contemplated the move and whether they’ve thought that their lives will be quite different. From my point of view, I enjoy visiting both the countryside and the beach but I love living in the city…

Enough already @CuriousByNature! Circumcision jokes are clearly a sore point for you.

I can’t comment on masseurs and escorts as I haven’t hired in years. But I use text a lot in setting up and confirming other arrangements, so I don’t think it’s a failing or a lack of courtesy confined to young men. I visited good friends, both mid-70s, in another country last month; we had a pleasant dinner together, yet I had a similar experience. Two days before I was leaving, my hotel out-of-the-blue gave me a voucher for dinner. (The hotel voucher was enough to cover dinner for 4). I texted my friends at 5pm to ask if they were free and able to join me for a free dinner. I saw my message was read shortly afterwards but they didn’t reply that night. I enquired again the next day at 10.30; again my message was read but no response. After 24 hours of silence, on my last night I invited another friend who accepted with alacrity. As he and I were eating dinner, I had a text from my older friends saying ‘Yes, we can come. What time?’

This year is only a few weeks old, but this post must surely earn the best ‘non sequitur’ of 2023 award 😎

The guy of the same name as Calvin Klein’s ex?!

Have I missed some debate or controversy? Why @robberbaron4u did you start this thread?

So sorry you had this experience @ttm269 My advice is Do NOT pay him any more $. It’s very unlikely that he will threaten you further, but if he does, stay calm and say that you will report him to the Police for extortion. You acted correctly IMO. View the experience this way. Now you know to meet a guy (hire And non-hire) in a public place first, before inviting them to your apartment. why physical $ cash (not an online payment) is best. how to get a jerk out of your home - you prioritised your personal safety!

It may not be odd at all, if he’s a young man or not so experienced as an escort. You’d have to ask him directly @ericwinters It could easily be that he has certain wishes or restrictions. For instance, the lower rate for 3 hours may be because other clients have bought him dinner as part of the date. The overnight rate seems OK but first check what he expects to happen on an overnight date. He may have stayed over with nice clients who first take him to dinner, or possibly with clients who allowed him 6 hours to sleep. This reminds me of when I had several dates and lots of fun with a blond muscleboy (24, who was a great bottom) so I asked about his rate for an overnight date. I was stunned when he quoted the equivalent of 4x the usual rate (it was years ago but then he asked for $4000). I carefully explained my plans for us: full sex before dinner, I’d take him to a good restaurant for dinner, on return home, we’d have full but shorter play together, then sleep for 6-7 hours, on waking, he’d give oral to completion before I’d take him out for breakfast. He immediately said his rate would be $1000. I asked why he’d earlier said $4000 and it transpired that he’d only done 1 overnight date before. That was with a client in his 20s who was equally fit and topped him 6x during the night! The blond muscleboy told me he was exhausted and barely slept. My plans suited him very well, and hence the reasonable rate.

Quite right @JUWS Tho Bette never sang there(at least, not to my knowledge), I had forgotten St Marks - in its heyday, it was hugely popular. I didn't use the Baths (as quick, anonymous sex never worked for me) but a nervous friend asked me to go with him - to my surprise, that evening I met separately 2 guys who also worked on Wall St then.

Yes I saw her perform there in the early/mid-70s. I went there with 3 friends (we were all in black tie) and it was quite a surreal experience, mingling with many near-naked men while she sang (rather well as I recall). You’re right…a small thing but its full name was the Continental Baths.

Totally agree. Yes, you must learn to obey (and not ignore) your instincts. I’ve played with numerous men in 3somes (and some 4gies) and had a lot of fun. My rule for personal safety has always been “First play with each man singly” before setting up a group date.