MscleLovr

Very good list of warning signs, in my opinion. Simple: I don’t want people doing drugs or getting high on a date with me. The only time I’ve ever been threatened was when a guy after a good dinner (on our 4th date, and at his request our 1st overnight) took some substance in the bathroom and then in bed started to complain that ‘the rich always get what they want’. I threw him out.

Interesting report @purplekow Thanks for taking the time to detail your experience. He’s a handsome guy so I wondered about your interaction… How good was his English? Do you feel he didn’t fully understand what you wanted? Also, I wonder if he normally played with younger men? I’m a top only and I truly enjoy and appreciate a muscleboy who bottoms. In the past, however, I have had fun when I played with other tops. The range of activities has been more limited. I certainly would not hire just to jack off. I’ve not tried to penetrate them (I for one like to be rimmed but dislike being fingered); I might give oral if I’m excited by the man; I’ve always enjoyed deep kissing and without exception I received oral (and generally been fellated to completion). I stress ‘in the past’ as I’m now in my 70s. if I were now to hire a guy, I’d be very explicit about my age and what I enjoy and what I expect the man to do in bed.

Why not? I eat a big bowl of porridge (with seeds, nuts & berries) for breakfast every day. Accordingly I get through a 1kilo (2.2lbs) bag of organic oats every month. It’s healthy nutrition and it’s a quick, easy breakfast to make.

First, welcome. Second, it sounds as if you’re newly ‘out’. I don’t know where you’re based (Seattle?) but I feel you should join a social group or join in an activity that appeals so that you mix with other gay men and make friends. Last, gratuitous advice I know, but I don’t know your occupation or profession. You want to bear in mind that online photos can always be discovered. So if you post your pics online or send them to other men, you may want to obscure/pixilate your face first.

But where can you get good vellum today? It’s so difficult to find quality calves.

I think that’s a very good rule. I used to respond to all messages that I received…and then I had a bad experience. One person asked about a specific activity with a particular man that I liked. I confirmed that I’d enjoyed it with him but I stressed he needed to be discreet if requesting the same service. Some days later, I heard from the person that the man was not willing to do the same with him when they met. I also heard directly from the man that after refusing, the person said to him “You do it for MscleLovr. Why won’t you do it for me?” Lesson learned: some posters here are neither polite nor trustworthy.

I wish you well @baseball6 I think that many of us here have had similar feelings and relations develop with working guys at some time. As I read your first post, I thought to myself you already know the answer. You’ve been given excellent advice by others. Please take it. Should you still harbour thoughts of love and affection for this much younger man, follow the well-intended advice of @maninsoma and invite the young man out BUT specify it’s unpaid or “off the clock”. If he does have genuine feelings for you, he will want to see you. My only advice here is practical. To get over this young man, hire another handsome young guy and “get back in the saddle” quickly - it will help you move on.

To answer the OP: Yes. As others have noted above, this topic has been aired before…several times. So a question for the OP: what insights are you trying to gain? Or what experiences do you want to live vicariously? Since I’ve been with my partner for more than 10 years, my insights may be dated. Before I met him, I was a ‘modeliser’ and I had such relationships with several handsome and very fit guys. Overall, my experiences were very good.

I suspect you already know the answer @David Diddle Apologies in advice if you find my views robust. I think that in time, there will be healing and forgiveness. But that time is not now. My view that if I married a man who was secretive by nature and turned out to have an entirely secret life, I’d skip counselling and seek a good divorce attorney at once. If you used the term husband loosely, and you’re not legally married, I guess you should protect your finances and yourself promptly. If you have a joint bank account, move your share before he empties the account. If you own where you live, change the locks. Get a full health check.

Certainly there are such men, but they are rare. At least, I knew two such men but more than 10 years ago. I dated each one for a long time. The first was a dark-haired (Italian heritage) man who played different sports several times a week. He had the most symmetrical physique I’ve ever seen on a guy, beautiful body and bubble butt. People invariably described him as very manly and on our first date that’s how he presented. Once we’d stripped off and were in bed, he proved to be a good bottom. I explored more on further dates and he proved to be a total submissive slut (in a very good way). He loved to be compliant and in group play, would readily suck all the cocks. The second was a blond Englishman. He was younger than the first, and only aged 21/22 when we first met. We dated for several years. He had the classic Abercrombie looks and musculature. He presented as str8 and was a little shy at first; as he stripped off, he grew in confidence and in bed, he was a total bottom. Each man advertised online for only a little while. I think each had a small number of men who provided regular support. .

Eat lots of fruit & vegetables (aka more fibre) regularly. And you’ll live longer too!

I’m astounded @Gar1eth What has happened to American capitalism? And where is the respect for the US consumer? You’re obviously a loyal customer as you’ve gone back to them after only 22 years. Next I suppose we’ll discover that Crown Cork & Seal, the preeminent US supplier of bottle closures, no longer sells corks!

I very much agree @nycman I wonder how well that young man has aged

I’m in my 70s but I have a lot of younger friends, and I would never discuss either ‘thing’ mentioned above. To me, it’s part of staying young…like being well-groomed and dressed and keeping in decent shape. Why not go out to dinner in a restaurant? It breaks your routine, but that’s part of being flexible. And if driving home afterwards is a problem for you, just say beforehand “Dinner would be great. But I’m not good at driving at night, so will you mind running me back?’

Well, if you don’t have money but bodybuilders make you weak at the knees, I suggest you join a gym where they work out. Assuming you have time and patience, use discretion and engage the guys you admire in conversation. It’s best to use humour and chat when a guy is on his own. Keep it light and once you’ve made your interest clear, invite the guy for a meal after his work-out…then you mention your willingness to offer financial support. Bodybuilding is an expensive hobby. The guys will most probably have been hit on before, so don’t overthink it. And take the guy for a test-drive very soon afterwards so you can determine how compatible you both are.

Please be kind to these wannabes. They work hard to get ahead. In my experience, they’re model/actor/musician/“You know I have feelings for you, right…but I’m struggling to pay my bills this month” 😎

I’ve not been to one of these events but I had always assumed that it would be a fairly expensive evening. The current entry fee seems modest to me. Given the drinks you might buy and the donations you might make to various guys entertaining you, I thought an evening would run at least $300. Not to argue that point…but if you’re right, surely that would increase the availability of fit young guys in LA who would want to supplement their incomes with extra work.

I’d be astounded if there are any reliable answers or tips on how to find guys there, especially for casual (and possibly Caucasian) visitors. The homophobia in Jamaica is extreme, and violence is not uncommon.

If you want something very specific, always ask for it upfront. I never got turned down for being direct and asking in advance. I’m sort of the reverse of you. I’m a selfish top and when I’m done pounding, I love to lie back and be sucked off by a hungry bottom. For me, there is nothing finer than a good cocksucker who makes me moan and groan as I climax. It’s great to unload in a warm mouth, and it’s hot to see my guy swallow. Best of all is when the guy nurses my cock to lick it clean and get every last drop. On any date, I always checked whether a guy would be compatible with me. And before a first date, I’d mention how I like to finish and be finished off. Some guys loved to serve and did it all; some were happy to suck to completion but not to swallow; and some guys said No to cum-in-mouth but wanted me to unload on their face and/or pecs A couple of times, when there was good chemistry with guys who’d originally refused, they chose to please me and did all that I like 😎

Sorry that happened to you. Assuming that you communicated in English, he may have assumed that you were a visitor from the US or Europe and travelling with US$. Certainly you’ve now learned how important it is to communicate your wishes and desires with precision. Perhaps if you’d asked “I do have Yen but do you prefer US$?’ You might have enjoyed a good date.

Interesting that a very negative review comes up once you check his profile (on the link above). I know of his other social media and had thought he was doing OK. Maybe times are getting tougher and/or social media doesn’t generate the income he needs?

I haven’t and after reading his ad, I wouldn’t. I feel his appeal is rather limited. He has a nice body but he says he doesn’t do “sexual things with men”. He also says he “can do” muscle worship and wrestling. So if you just like to look at, or worship (with Benjamin Franklin), a muscled body or be put in a headlock, he’s your man.

I blame Hallmark as all romance seems to feature a gratuity.

@samhexum the best answer @Danny7 I’m curious as to why you ask. You appear to be nicely put together so is there something you’re anxious about? I’m a grower, not a show-er, and I’m only a top. All of my boyfriends have been bottoms, or versatile and happy to bottom, yet quite a few have had penises larger than mine. So,size isn’t everything. And as I always made my boyfriends happy in bed, I’d say mine is perfect for me and what I like to do with it.

I wonder if you’ve mentioned this at your church. Sometimes there are young people in the congregation who need work and/or want to leave the family home but are without funds. I haven’t looked to hire someone this way, but I have been approached 2x by people asking me if I’m looking for staff. Generally, I very much agree with @Vegas_Millennial on this. It’s much better to employ several people for specific jobs and tasks. Consider how problematic if it might be if you employ someone who doesn’t work out as an employee and then you have to fire them…and of course, then change your locks and alarm codes, and where you store your valuables etc.