MscleLovr

Possibly he was wearing just sneakers and a jockstrap? Possibly he was fully clothed but with the addition of custom knee-pads? Possibly he was bare-chested, kneeling and making the acquaintance of another man? The possibilities are endless…

I love a cutie…but I lust for a hottie

No disrespect @Ali Gator but in my view, you’re being too cheap. And the only person who will suffer here is you. You’ve dreamed and thought of this man a lot. Now he’s available and you put obstacles in your own path. I feel you will bitterly regret not taking the glorious opportunity offered to you.

You forgot to state how often you include in your diet some of “all the cute guys” you mentioned earlier…😎

I feel you should shop daily @Luv2play. A heathy body can best be maintained by a varied diet of fresh produce. 😎

I’d like to add ‘my two cents’ for the OP. If your date doesn’t find you attractive @DMonDude - or if you fear that - ask him to focus on the features of Benjamin Franklin that they will soon be fondling. A lot of working guys truly like him, and some even find him readily arousing.

I’ve had similar requests for help and expert advice over the years. If I barely know someone, I tend to smile and give a very brief response. If a person persists, I comment that ‘it’s complicated’ and ‘it’ll take me time to research (or answer) so I’ll have to charge’. That deters most. If someone does insist, I say ‘I’ll have to consult my diary and I’ll need an immediate large retainer’ Once I met a great young man for what was a terrific first date. He’d done a little research on me and at the outset, enthused about my work and asked me various questions as he wanted to make a career in this area. I answered politely but briefly. Then I deflected by saying “ there’s so much to talk about, so let’s talk over coffee afterwards. I want to spend our time together by getting naked and seeing how compatible we are”. I felt then that I’d handled it well. He performed as agreed and we were both happy. He didn’t offer me coffee later and we didn’t discuss his career plan further. It was a great date but no repeat. Other times, people I like and know have asked for help and I’ve obliged. It’s easier with people I know but don’t like: I simply say ‘unfortunately, I have to charge’ and I’ve named a fee of 6-10x what I’d normally charge.

There may be tough days ahead of you @SomethingFun but for what it’s worth, I feel you’ve made the right decision. Now get yourself a good (aka aggressive) lawyer to handle the divorce. In the future, you and he might be friends as @PhileasFogg suggested but give yourself plenty of time and space first. And don’t rush into a second marriage even if you suddenly meet a great-seeming man.

To answer the OP, I’d avoid. It’s just me: I’m cautious. I always wear the seatbelt in cars (survived one car crash, shaken but unhurt). In hotels, I always check the fire exits nearest to the room before I unpack (experienced 2 hotel fires, got out quickly and unhurt). In commercial aircraft, I pay attention to safety briefings and check location of the exits (been in one incident, hard landing on foam, unhurt) I know everyone deserves a second chance but I never had “convicted felons OK” on my Seeking ad/profile

Has anyone actually seen him for a date? If so, please report back.

He’s obviously a handsome young adult. But to me, his photo has a certain quality as if AI generated.

My guess is that it will prove very popular…assuming “AGV” stands for Added Girth(cum)Volume

Very good list of warning signs, in my opinion. Simple: I don’t want people doing drugs or getting high on a date with me. The only time I’ve ever been threatened was when a guy after a good dinner (on our 4th date, and at his request our 1st overnight) took some substance in the bathroom and then in bed started to complain that ‘the rich always get what they want’. I threw him out.

Interesting report @purplekow Thanks for taking the time to detail your experience. He’s a handsome guy so I wondered about your interaction… How good was his English? Do you feel he didn’t fully understand what you wanted? Also, I wonder if he normally played with younger men? I’m a top only and I truly enjoy and appreciate a muscleboy who bottoms. In the past, however, I have had fun when I played with other tops. The range of activities has been more limited. I certainly would not hire just to jack off. I’ve not tried to penetrate them (I for one like to be rimmed but dislike being fingered); I might give oral if I’m excited by the man; I’ve always enjoyed deep kissing and without exception I received oral (and generally been fellated to completion). I stress ‘in the past’ as I’m now in my 70s. if I were now to hire a guy, I’d be very explicit about my age and what I enjoy and what I expect the man to do in bed.

Why not? I eat a big bowl of porridge (with seeds, nuts & berries) for breakfast every day. Accordingly I get through a 1kilo (2.2lbs) bag of organic oats every month. It’s healthy nutrition and it’s a quick, easy breakfast to make.

First, welcome. Second, it sounds as if you’re newly ‘out’. I don’t know where you’re based (Seattle?) but I feel you should join a social group or join in an activity that appeals so that you mix with other gay men and make friends. Last, gratuitous advice I know, but I don’t know your occupation or profession. You want to bear in mind that online photos can always be discovered. So if you post your pics online or send them to other men, you may want to obscure/pixilate your face first.

But where can you get good vellum today? It’s so difficult to find quality calves.

I think that’s a very good rule. I used to respond to all messages that I received…and then I had a bad experience. One person asked about a specific activity with a particular man that I liked. I confirmed that I’d enjoyed it with him but I stressed he needed to be discreet if requesting the same service. Some days later, I heard from the person that the man was not willing to do the same with him when they met. I also heard directly from the man that after refusing, the person said to him “You do it for MscleLovr. Why won’t you do it for me?” Lesson learned: some posters here are neither polite nor trustworthy.

I wish you well @baseball6 I think that many of us here have had similar feelings and relations develop with working guys at some time. As I read your first post, I thought to myself you already know the answer. You’ve been given excellent advice by others. Please take it. Should you still harbour thoughts of love and affection for this much younger man, follow the well-intended advice of @maninsoma and invite the young man out BUT specify it’s unpaid or “off the clock”. If he does have genuine feelings for you, he will want to see you. My only advice here is practical. To get over this young man, hire another handsome young guy and “get back in the saddle” quickly - it will help you move on.

To answer the OP: Yes. As others have noted above, this topic has been aired before…several times. So a question for the OP: what insights are you trying to gain? Or what experiences do you want to live vicariously? Since I’ve been with my partner for more than 10 years, my insights may be dated. Before I met him, I was a ‘modeliser’ and I had such relationships with several handsome and very fit guys. Overall, my experiences were very good.

I suspect you already know the answer @David Diddle Apologies in advice if you find my views robust. I think that in time, there will be healing and forgiveness. But that time is not now. My view that if I married a man who was secretive by nature and turned out to have an entirely secret life, I’d skip counselling and seek a good divorce attorney at once. If you used the term husband loosely, and you’re not legally married, I guess you should protect your finances and yourself promptly. If you have a joint bank account, move your share before he empties the account. If you own where you live, change the locks. Get a full health check.

Certainly there are such men, but they are rare. At least, I knew two such men but more than 10 years ago. I dated each one for a long time. The first was a dark-haired (Italian heritage) man who played different sports several times a week. He had the most symmetrical physique I’ve ever seen on a guy, beautiful body and bubble butt. People invariably described him as very manly and on our first date that’s how he presented. Once we’d stripped off and were in bed, he proved to be a good bottom. I explored more on further dates and he proved to be a total submissive slut (in a very good way). He loved to be compliant and in group play, would readily suck all the cocks. The second was a blond Englishman. He was younger than the first, and only aged 21/22 when we first met. We dated for several years. He had the classic Abercrombie looks and musculature. He presented as str8 and was a little shy at first; as he stripped off, he grew in confidence and in bed, he was a total bottom. Each man advertised online for only a little while. I think each had a small number of men who provided regular support. .

Eat lots of fruit & vegetables (aka more fibre) regularly. And you’ll live longer too!

I’m astounded @Gar1eth What has happened to American capitalism? And where is the respect for the US consumer? You’re obviously a loyal customer as you’ve gone back to them after only 22 years. Next I suppose we’ll discover that Crown Cork & Seal, the preeminent US supplier of bottle closures, no longer sells corks!

I very much agree @nycman I wonder how well that young man has aged