MscleLovr

Why ask this again? You posted on this same topic on January 10.

The only way I know dates from years ago - find them on Instagram and send them a private message. I met several over the years, but not the man you mention. One caution on IG nowadays is that some guys have a manager for their profile and online bookings. So a polite and discreet enquiry about their availability for private work would be best

I’ve visited Africa many times, the latest trip was last month. Given the OP’s question as to hiring, I would urge extreme caution. Various countries have draconian laws against homosexuality. And there is often substantial popular endorsement of homophobia. Certainly, the tourism sector is important in various countries and as a high-spending visitor, a gay man is welcome. I am out and my visits have been with boyfriends and now my partner. We have not experienced any problems but we are discreet. I’d advise against PDA unless you are very sure of your surroundings. Feel free to ask me more specific questions if you have them.

Did you send him a polite message to enquire?

I feel you’re very trusting @Coolwave35 - much more so than me. I hope your vacation continues to be great and that you see lots more “hard action”. On long vacations, I never paid the fee upfront. My feeling was that I’d taken on the financial risks of cancellation by paying for the hotel and flights etc in advance. When I was on vacation with a ‘regular’ (a guy I knew well), I might offer his fee on arrival in the hotel room but usually he’d leave his envelope in the hotel safe until departure.

Simple question but, alas, the answer in the UK is more complicated. In England, Scotland and Wales the exchange of money for sexual services is not illegal (I think Northern Ireland is different). Some related activities are illegal. For instance, soliciting another man in public, kerb-crawling in a vehicle, keeping a brothel are illegal activities but the Police tend to ignore activities in private. The Police do act where they suspect people-trafficking.

They may publicly quote the same rate because of the very few sites for advertising, but….everything is negotiable.

Please do report back @Coolwave35 I’m particularly keen to hear about your activities in Buenos Aires, a city of which I have fond memories but no recent knowledge of nightlife, restaurants etc. I hope you both stay safe as the city can be difficult for foreign visitors.

Absolutely correct @pubic_assistance And certainly there is no ‘specific format’. It’s why I was always very specific from the outset with the nice, intelligent guys I met online. I was specific about what I enjoyed, how I liked to be pleased and the likely timing and frequency of activities. (As I’m a top, I am aware of the bottom needing privacy and time to prepare) And unlike the OP here, I made sure we were sexually compatible on the first date; I would never take a man on an overseas trip without first being sure that we played well together. The guys I met via Seeking were all 21+, mainly 23-29. They ranged from LA wannabes to Ivy League graduates and doctoral students. Overall, they were what I term “enthusiastic amateurs” and generally we had fun in bed at least twice-daily.

I applaud you @Coolwave35 for being so open about this mess…but I must also admonish you. You’re the older man. You’re supposed to be experienced, sophisticated and more worldly. Yet you’ve acted like a teenager. You need to exercise some impulse control. You’ve compounded the silliness by treating this man as you would a sex worker. Are you withholding some info? You’re entitled to do so, of course, but…Have you already had fun in bed with him? I’d hate to see you embark on a lengthy vacation without you being utterly certain that you are both congenial companions and very sexually compatible. Buenos Aires is a fascinating city but I would not spend time there with someone incompatible. Let alone in Antarctica, which is ‘another world’ where you’ll be in close quarters on the ship. I too had success with Seeking and I dated some very nice guys from there. Most often, I found the allure of a vacation or trip overseas was compelling for the men who were all “enthusiastic amateurs” (handsome, preppy 21+ and gay). My approach was to detail what I enjoy (flights in business or first, luxury hotel, good restaurants etc) and I’d emphasise that I’d pay for everything including his everyday needs. I would ask what his expenses (eg rent, gym membership, bills) might be while away from home and state that I’d cover all that. Then I would spell out what exactly what I enjoy in bed (eg I’m a top only, like to top in late afternoon before dinner, enjoy kissing and cuddling, and like to be sucked off to completion first thing in the morning). Also I’d discuss PDA as he may not be as comfortable with this as you. Bear in mind, Buenos Aires has gay rights and equality but I’ve also seen homophobia displayed there. Last, I’d ask his view on what cash he’d need for the vacation and what’s entailed in keeping you company. You may be pleasantly surprised by how modest his expectations are. I always gave ‘walking around’ money in the foreign destination. I was astounded by 2 separate men who offered me all that money back at the end, saying that I’d paid for everything so they hadn’t needed it.

To answer the question posed in the thread title: Not for me. I much prefer a masseur to have wonderfully soft hands… especially when he’s goodlooking with a muscled body…. our bodies are closely entwined as he’s kissing me deeply…. and his soft hands are gripping my cock… but that’s just my definition of a good masseur 😎 For the record, I do get a therapeutic massage regularly.

I can comment as James bottomed for me on two separate dates. I remember our dates well. He was in great shape - perhaps a little lean, a little less muscled than is my ideal (as I have a fetish for muscleboys who bottom). He was intelligent; he clearly recalled our prior conversation where I mentioned all that I enjoy as a ‘dominant but lazy, selfish top’. As the bottom, he complemented me very well. The foreplay was passionate with lots of kissing with tongue; I explored his body thoroughly and he reciprocated readily; I topped him (with condom) in different positions. We finished with him sucking me off to completion and swallowing my load. Post orgasm, he was in no hurry to leave and we relaxed in bed chatting. My only caution is that my experience with him was more than 10 years ago. If I hadn’t met my partner soon afterwards, I would have dated James on a regular basis.

I’d like to feel that I’d consider all the circumstances (eg teenage indiscretion, taking part in civil protest or other misdemeanor)…but I fear my instinctive reaction would be to say NO immediately. I’m not proud of this, but I feel it adds a layer of risk to engaging with a stranger. It seems to me that visiting a stranger at his place or inviting him into your own and spending time together is hazard enough. Most times, things will go swimmingly…but you don’t want to be that rare unfortunate incident.

Not in my experience but I’m a top only. I’ve been able to get a few boyfriends to cum hands-free. As others have stated, it depends on intimacy. The key for me has been targeting their erogenous zones (one man loved prolonged, delicate teasing of his nipples while I pounded his ass) or discovering some hidden desire (one muscleboy loved being tied up, used and spanked). Another man, also a muscleboy, came hands-free every time as soon as my load hit the back of his throat. Of course, I told him that was nothing as I’m able to come ‘hands-free’ each time that a handsome young man has my cock in his mouth and lovingly sucks me to completion. 😎

This reminds me of a role-play for which I hired an escort in San Francisco. Years back, I was in danger of developing a crush on a young investment banker at the firm where I was a partner. I was out but at that time, single and horny. Obviously the different status and power imbalance made it impossible to take matters further. He was one of the people who worked with me, but I got to know him as he worked out in the gym early morning when I did. He wasn’t my usual ‘type’ as he was short, 26 but a jock with a good body. He was str8 but just very gay-friendly and puppyish in his enthusiasms. Because of work, we had dinner together a few times. So I hired the SF guy to act as him and to allow me to unleash my desires. He was great: he opened his apartment door, clad only in tight white briefs, and invited me in for a drink while I stayed fully clothed. After kissing and nuzzling, he knelt and unzipped me, starting to fellate me. When I told him I wanted to top him, he took me into his bedroom. After undressing me slowly, he talked dirty - telling me how much he wanted me to use him and his hole - and got on all-fours on his bed, We had an energetic time and he drained me fully. After mutual orgasms, we talked. He told me how much he enjoyed acting as a jock wanting to please an older man; I told him how truly great it had been for me. To my surprise, it was also very therapeutic: it was as if I had released all my lust for the young colleague: I really got him out of my system.

Guys have often remarked on how naturally dominant I am. This intrigued me and it led me to explore that dynamic. When I was feeling horny, I’d enjoy exercising my dominance over muscleboy-bottoms with a submissive streak. I’d have them work hard to please me before topping them vigorously…and their “reward” for pleasing me was always to finish by sucking me off and swallowing my load. I was lucky enough to find 2 very different men - 1 Latin, 1 Blond but both with superb bodies - who truly had a submissive nature and craved a guy who’d ‘take charge’. I saw each man regularly for some years, but I made a mistake in having both overnight for a 3way. It was lacklustre compared to the hot sessions I had individually. It seemed that each man was concerned about seeming ‘masculine’ to the other; each was reluctant to reveal that side of his nature to another muscleboy. It was interesting that each guy was happy to take a hard pounding in various positions while the other relaxed by kissing me and watching me top. But when it came to taking my load in front of the other, it was clear that each saw this as the ultimate form of slutty submission.

Don't you just hate it when bad things happen to good vocabulary, decent punctuation and coherent arguments? 😎

I find that statement odd. Exactly how often do you see each other? And how much time in total have the two of you spent together? What’s the longest period of time you’ve been together? Do not get married without first signing a watertight prenuptial agreement that expert lawyers have prepared.

I’ve always preferred men aged from the early 20s to 40. The triggers for my lust are a handsome face and a fit muscled body. My first boyfriend was aged 24 when I was 20. When I was in my 30s, I dated some younger men and some late 30s/early 40s…but even then, I found some older men had an unattractive quality (being inflexible and set in their ways). When I became single at 50, I was surprised how often younger men came onto me. I was gym-fit and lean but I never bothered to analyze why they were interested. It might have been my confident character (direct and open about what I want) or my intellect. Or it could just have been my big, thick wallet and my willingness to open it. It was then that I found 23 to be a ‘sweet spot’. At that age, guys were in great shape, had some skills in bed and were willing to experiment further in pleasing a top. I met a muscleboy when he was aged 33 and we were boyfriends for some years. When I was 60, I met a highly intelligent 21 year old - he came onto me - and we’ve now been together for over 10 years.

I’d love to see one of those who complain here take this dispute to Judge Judy. I wonder how she’d rule on non-performance, and what remedy she’d impose 😎

Just asking for information please. Being retired, I’m no longer up to date with research/statistics. I do recall that some years ago, there were reports of a number of people for whom the treatment was NOT effective. Is that no longer the case? (For the record, I always use condoms. I have a much younger partner and I want to make sure he stays healthy.)

I remember him from some years back. He’s used several different names online. From what I heard from a couple of guys (aka hearsay as I’ve not met him myself), he’s a perfectly good companion if you want/need eye-candy for a social outing. That applies equally in private if you enjoy servicing him. My guess is that, if you want to be serviced or want more from him, you’d have to be direct and clear as well as very generous.

It’s a bar. I’d say it’s definitely busier after dinner. But really you can go any time - it’s a pleasant crowd. IMO the shower show is over-rated. It serves as a decorative background to having a drink and talking to people. I’m not sure about times as they seem to happen in the evenings; I’ve seen them before dinner (say 6.30-7pm) and later (8-10pm).

I don’t understand why you describe this person as an “old friend”. I’d say at best he’s a ‘former friend’. And from what you say here, I wouldn’t expend anymore time or energy on him.

Thanks for starting this thread. I’ll be very interested to see who gets recommended to you for your client. I can’t be of any help myself as I’ve always found San Diego very “hit-and-miss”. I had a lot of fun there over the years. I met some nice men with good bodies…but I noticed early on that they were either transient (visitors and amateurs or students in their early 20s seeking support) or local, mostly defining as str8. Some local guys, aged 25-37, were very handsome and offered service in exchange for support…but required total discretion and didn’t advertise.