moonlight

I meant new messages within a thread don't bump it to the top of the page, even when sorted by new. Sorting by new just puts newly made threads on top. So it's almost impossible to have a discussion last more than a few days within a thread unless the sub is relatively inactive. Everything just kind of dies out.

I don't like Reddit because the threads die off after a few days. They aren't "bumped" with new posts like on traditional message boards. So I'm sad that Reddit has largely killed off message boards/forums in general. There are still a few boards worth visiting (this site included).

Flu cases have really spiked within the past few weeks. Tons of people I know got it and I'm guessing your clients have experienced the same so I would expect most to understand.

Nearly One in 10 U.S. Adults Identifies as L.G.B.T.Q., Survey Finds - The New York Times WWW.NYTIMES.COM New data shows a rapid increase in recent years, driven by the young. The Trump administration has recently been rolling back L.G.B.T.Q. initiatives. I was really stunned by this new Gallup survey on LGBTQ identification. Some interesting stats: - 7.7% of Gen Z men identify as bisexual, compared to only 2% of millennial men. Gen Z is the first generation where men are more likely to identify as bisexual than gay. 3.6% of Gen Z men identify as gay. Together, that's 11.3% of Gen Z men who are into guys. - Among all ages and genders, 5.2% identify as bisexual and 3.4% as gay or lesbian. - 23% of Gen Z identify as LGBTQ (all genders), compared to 14% of millennials, 5% of Gen X, and 3% of baby boomers. - 22.5% of Gen Z women identify as bisexual, compared to 7.1% of Gen Z women who identify as lesbian or gay. 12% of millennial women identify as bisexual. Any thoughts on the large percentage of bisexuality among men? Maybe there are way more closeted bi guys out there than I guessed and Gen Z is more likely to be open about it. I'm skeptical about the large percentage of Gen Z bi women and wonder if there's some stretching of the definition there among some respondents. But I could be wrong.

Agree with this. I think this change would definitely help prevent duplicate threads. Have it default to "everywhere" all the time.

I love Miami. The combination of urban, cosmopolitan, tropical, and international is exciting to me. It's unlike anywhere else in the US. The abundance of bodybuilders doesn't hurt either. I was fascinated with the city long before its popularity exploded. I wanted to live there, but my career brought me to the other coast. Probably a good thing in the end, given the unique challenges South Florida faces with its porous topography.

Oh my. Anyone know any Tito look-alikes for hire? Asking for a friend, as he is just my friend's type...

An occasional unintentional side effect of strictly therapeutic massages for me is leaving precum on the sheet when I am face down. I suppose there's a big difference between "ejaculate" and "pre-ejaculate" though.

Odd similarities between this profile and Josuahotvers Josuahotvers - Male Escort, Gay massage - San Jose | Rent.Men RENT.MEN Josuahotvers Gay Escort in San Jose, California, available for Gay Escorting,Modeling,Erotic Massage. | Find all the best Male Escorts at Rent.Men Both say they are Italian men newly arrived in town. Both list stats as 5'11" 185 lbs. And both have the same exact "travel to" locations. Josua looks likely real based on RM reviews but no reviews here. Josua lists Spanish as a language. Makes me wonder if BFs working together? I want to believe... Profile in OP does seem likely fake.

Yes. But I'm sure the OP knows, at some level, what he's been missing. He's been fantasizing about it for most of his life without acting on it. Surely that comes at a cost.

For a middle-aged guy, this seems like it might be a tough hurdle to clear. How many guys out there want to be with a 40-something with 0 experience? I honestly don't know how difficult that would be, but I can see the case for learning the ropes with providers first before progressing to dating or hookup apps in this instance. I could be wrong.

I would guess that with most men, the damage of continued repression and regret would be greater than the negative aspects of being sexually active. There's a cost to repression that, for some, compounds over time like bad debt.

If you want to go down this route, it might be helpful to think of a stepwise approach, to gradually expose you to increasing levels of intimacy: 1) Start with completely therapeutic (non-sexual) massages. Become comfortable being naked (albeit draped) in front of someone, and with someone else touching you, in a non-sexual environment. You might want to start with a female therapist to remove any possible sexual connotation if the thought of a male therapist gives you anxiety and then progress from there. 2) Erotic massage from rentmasseur. No pressure to perform on your part. You can see where the session goes and gently state your boundaries if it goes too far for you. Find a masseur well-reviewed on this site. You could mention to him during the session that you're newly out. IMO, no need to share info like that prior to meeting (or at all). 3) Rentmen. Might be helpful to find someone who in their profile says they welcome first-timers. Here I think it would be appropriate to briefly explain your situation and what you're looking for. Be direct and succinct in your message. Though if you feel like you're ready to go to #3 I don't see a problem with that.

What's a reasonable travel radius or drive time for outcalls? In other words, at what point should extra travel fees be offered (or requested) on top of normal outcall fee? I think NYC might be a different beast here. More curious about metros where driving around is the norm. Any thoughts?

Yeah, I would pay that 1k and I know I'm not alone. I'm actually surprised he offers at all because he's probably very successful on OF.

Sorry about your illness Canceling in this case would make me trust you more, especially with an explanation about how you don't want to get anyone sick. You did the right thing. If I met with someone with an obvious case of a cold/flu or worse it would be my last meeting with them and I would probably complain about it here.

Clearly people have different opinions regarding boundaries and privacy. It seems rather subjective to me in that regard. If you don't contemplate those things at all, then sure.

Fair point, @pubic_assistance. It's not that I'm closeted, just closeted about hiring. But thanks to this site, I'm reconsidering many of my privacy concerns.

@Simon Suraci Thanks a lot for your thoughts. I appreciate it. I would not describe us as more than "classmates" in the past. He would have known my name at the time, and we probably interacted a handful of times. Really nothing more. He moved away during high school and I haven't seen him since. We're not in the same circles now and really no chance of us being in the same circles. Really, my concern was that I know his real name. I know his background. And vice versa. That could spook him and it spooks me a bit. But you're right, people acquire thousands of acquaintances over a lifetime. Things like this are bound to happen. More than anything, I'm surprised I made the connection at all. It felt like something coming from the deepest recesses of my mind. Maybe I won't close the door on this completely. But at a minimum I'm going to give it a lot of time and distance.

So, I slept on this decision. Woke up, and it was clear to me: I'm not gonna do this. Another factor here is that it looks like this guy has taken a lot of steps to lock down his online exposure. That tells me that privacy is important to him. So I'm making the decision to respect his privacy, and frankly my own boundaries too. But damn, my dick is still leaking precum at the thought. This took some willpower. Thanks everyone for your help here.

It's both but mostly the latter (I realize the risk of that is small, but still a risk when money and feelings get involved). I'm careful to guard my identity and value privacy highly for professional reasons. Typing that out, I realize it would be ridiculous to hire someone who could very well identify me from the start. This is just painful for me because I've never seen a profile before that checks all of my boxes so completely. Damn. I don't think I could dream up a better fit. C'est la vie.

Some additional context: The image of his abs in the locker room has been seared into my brain for a while. It's an early gay memory for me. We did not interact much back then. He's also local so could be a regular if the stars aligned. But I'm inclined to agree with you, @ApexNomad. My brain is telling me not to do this even though my dick is leaking precum at the thought of meeting. I think I'm just going to give this some time for my feelings to process.

Thanks. This is what my gut says.

I would appreciate a provider's perspective on this @BenjaminNicholas @Simon Suraci I'm conflicted. I want his privacy to be respected, I want my privacy to be respected, and I don't want to deceive. But I feel like meeting could be mind-blowing.

Would you two just not say anything to him about it?