moonlight

7 out of 10 in SF? Wow, that's surprising. There's a huge difference to me between a provider who is comfortable with a client using, but doesn't use themselves, compared to the provider actually using. I don't want to hire anyone who uses T. And the most reliable way for me to do that is to simply filter out all the PNP profiles. But there do seem to be well-reviewed providers who list PNP, so maybe there's a case to be made for evaluating on a more individual basis as a client gains experience?

I have yet to hire someone who lists PNP. I've come close but ultimately it violates a boundary I set for myself early on. TBH, I'm thinking about dropping that boundary (not to do PNP myself but to at least try well reviewed providers who list it). It just makes me nervous, and I'm very cautious.

Lots of references to remaining married while sleeping around in this thread so I feel compelled to ask: Is there any part of you that worries your partner will fall in love with a sex partner? How do you manage that? Apparently it's something that a lot of people have figured out but I don't really understand. I'm especially curious about this for younger couples for whom the future holds more possibilities. Maybe it's something that becomes less of a worry with age.

I think there is some truth in the idea of hiring a trainer who looks like what you want to look like. I work with a natural bodybuilder (male) who has gotten me to a place that I doubt a female trainer could have done as easily. Though I'm sure there are plenty of exceptions to that. I've certainly made progress with female trainers in the past but not like I have with this guy.

The blood tests for herpes (HSV-1 and HSV-2) have a high false negative rate (IIRC false negative rate for HSV-1 blood test is around 30%). If someone tests positive and then tests negative, then either the first test was a false positive or the second test was a false negative. If they had a true outbreak and tested positive, it's more likely the second test was a false negative. If one truly acquires the virus, there is no way to clear it from the body. It will remain dormant and occasionally reactivate. Not all reactivations are perceptible. There is a Western Blot blood test that is much more accurate, but it is not in widespread use and is expensive. Moderna is working on a therapeutic Herpes vaccine that will hopefully be a "functional cure" or close to it. Herpes is increasingly being linked to long term health effects such as dementia (HSV-1), along with another herpesvirus, Epstein-Barr virus which has been linked to multiple sclerosis. Moderna is working on a vaccine for that virus too.

It's fun to fantasize about, but when you really get into the reality of it I think it's something that 99% of people who initially consider it will decide against. I'm an American for life. But France is the one country I still sometimes fantasize about. It's surprisingly accessible as an American expat due to the favorable US-France tax treaty.

I understand this perspective but for me and others it's a matter of discretion rather than cost. I'm wary of extending my digital footprint to third party platforms, whether through Uber or deposits, in dealings with providers. I'm happy to pay transportation costs in cash.

Wow, this is my first time realizing the big 250 is only a couple years away! Also, me doing the math to see if I'll be around for the tricentennial:

I feel like it would be difficult to discreetly hire when living in such a building. Neighbors and concierge can probably figure out the score from your first young, handsome guest that also happens to stay about 1 hour. That's probably not a top of mind suspicion in a non gay building, at least initially. What would the lesbians down the hall think of such open impropriety in their building? The tenant board?

True, looks like it includes weekly housekeeping and all utilities. The gym looks disappointing, but then again I've never seen an apartment gym that wasn't. I would have hoped the rare gay apartment building would be the exception to that rule 😛

I'll take your word for it. Just seems like a big markup for a more personalized social experience, which at a certain age and with a certain income might actually be worth it in itself.

I noticed that PS now has an apartment community (not assisted living) for 55+ LGBT people. Over 6k/month for a one bedroom 😮

I wonder why there seems to be a lack of bodybuilder providers in SF/bay area. Maybe they can do better and live more cheaply by heading down to LA?

That's a good point nycman about how part of the problem is actual cognitive changes in the brain that often occur with age. Combine that with loneliness and people who were previously successful, smart, and shrewd in their careers can suddenly be susceptible to what are obvious scams to others. You better really trust that "financial minder" though not to be tempted to take advantage themselves.

http://rentmasseur.com/Santiii Feel free to PM or post. Thanks!

I wouldn't agree with that perspective, and I think that mindset will make you susceptible to this happening again in the future. I would rephrase as: A lot of providers don't want to be honest because they are businessmen. Making you feel the way you feel is what they do to earn income, and is a skill. You can't assume much about someone's personality or intentions based on their occupation only. You can't assume someone is "caring" because of what they do. All you can assume is they do what they do for money. What's the difference between a legitimately caring person and a charming sociopath? Most people probably can't tell the difference at first, if at all, and especially not when money is changing hands. That's why it's important to be clear with yourself what your boundaries are and stick to them. I don't deny that there are legitimately caring providers out there; there certainly are. But if you think you have a special ability to fully know their motivations and intentions, you are deluding yourself and setting yourself up for that to happen again.

Question for those who say they share stats: Which stats do you share specifically? Anything beyond age/height/weight?

Any opinions on the quality of providers between the two cities, if any difference? Similar number of listings on RM.

That's interesting and definitely a real phenomenon. It's occurred to me that living in my current small urban bubble probably wouldn't be unlike living in Hawaii, given that I can easily go months without venturing very far. But the option of driving out exists even though I rarely choose that option.

PS proximity to LA, OC, and SD is definitely a plus. Though I wonder how often PS residents actually make the trip. All those places are a short and easy flight from Vegas too.

Seems like a good move to me. Keeps a supply of some AirBnBs available, but keeps prices lower and promotes better community for residential buyers. The non-transferability is a good idea though it sucks for those who bought higher hoping to create a business.

That's a good point. I've heard a little bit about that. Buying a house only to have a land lease doesn't sound ideal. Maybe unless a home can be found cheaply enough that it's worth the trade-offs, especially with a lease ending in the very distant future. If I bought there I would probably only look at options where I fully own the land.

I wasn't aware there was a Palm Springs FL. Looks like a pretty small town. I'd rather live in Miami.

I agree about the ubiquitous gambling being a turn off. I don't gamble either. It gives off a sense of sadness/desperation in a way, seeing it everywhere. And yes the views are my favorite part of PS. The juxtaposition of palm trees and mountains, sometimes snow capped, is really striking. I guess it would be easier to make gay friends in PS? That's important especially when moving.

If you had to choose between living in these two locations, which would you pick? Would your answer change if finances weren't a consideration? I enjoy both of these spots and suspect I'll move to one or the other at some point in the distant future. Curious what others think. Personally I think I would lean towards Vegas only because it doesn't empty out in the summer.