soloyo215

I still have my dirty, disgusting and constant sexual desire towards every other man I see. Of course, my brain reacts faster than my body, and my body certainly isn't the 24/7 walking erection that I was back in the day. I still function well when I need it, with a little help here and there. The additional help (magic pill) is optional, for when I have a more expensive provider.

I don't, but I know people who have had the same interest and they couldn't find a s pecific couple, so they hired the male and the female independently, with the discussion of what was expected. My friend said that he had a great time, but it was quite expensive.

I'm not a provider, but I'm a gay man who hooks up with other people. I don't see the point of you bringing that up to him. If there's any interest in you on his part, he will mention it at the time when he feels ready and appropriate. It could be a different situation if he lies about it, or sustains a position against escorting while you know that he escorts. But if it's just a person that you met and hooked up with, if you have a real inteterest in that person, let him disclose at his pace. If otherwise you get a cheap thrill by brining people's information (not exactly secrets if he advertises), then act accordingly. Just keep in mind that who knows how many things we hide when we hook up with others. We all have our own things to tell or keep quiet. The fact that he's a provider doesn't make him any less of a human being. Just my thoughts, not law.

Normally I don't have a set "grace period". In my opinion, you did good, communicating and letting the provider know that you are waiting, and providing ample time for him to respond. Seems appropriate to you, with enough time to hire another one if available at the moment. No respose from the provider could have been for a legitimate, fair reason, but if you haven't heard anything after, I think your grace period was appropriate.
Just to be fair, I have communicated the day after to see if there's a legitimate reason for the last minute ghosting. Things happen, so I give the benefit of the doubt. However, after that, if I don't hear from the provider, then either I was completely ghosted, or something major happened that makes the provider unable to communicate. I move on afterwards.
Sorry to hear. It sucks after so much discussion. Seems odd too, in light of there being testimonials about his quality, and because there was good communication before.

I think some of us do walk faster. For being gay? I couldn't tell, and trust me, I love observing men walking. I guess this gives me a research project. 😁

I think some of us do walk faster. For being gay? I couldn't tell, and trust me, I love observing men walking. I guess this gives me a research project. 😁

I'll be the judge of that.

Normally I don't have a set "grace period". In my opinion, you did good, communicating and letting the provider know that you are waiting, and providing ample time for him to respond. Seems appropriate to you, with enough time to hire another one if available at the moment. No respose from the provider could have been for a legitimate, fair reason, but if you haven't heard anything after, I think your grace period was appropriate.
Just to be fair, I have communicated the day after to see if there's a legitimate reason for the last minute ghosting. Things happen, so I give the benefit of the doubt. However, after that, if I don't hear from the provider, then either I was completely ghosted, or something major happened that makes the provider unable to communicate. I move on afterwards.
Sorry to hear. It sucks after so much discussion. Seems odd too, in light of there being testimonials about his quality, and because there was good communication before.

He doesn't know any single thing about that person, and seems like you did not inform him about having a roommate when making arrangements. To me that looks like a personal safety thing.
Yes, you should have told him. He's coming to a home of a stranger, that alone has a degree of risk, then he's surprised by seeing another stranger hanging out in the house, without knowing who that person is or what the intentions are.
I don't find the actions of the provider unreasonable.
I've had unpleasant experiences with opposite roles. I've been to the place where the provider is set, and I have found people there hanging around, and it does not feel comfortable and pleasant. In fact, one of them had the roommates passing back and forth in front of me while I was getting the massage.
IMO, both the client and the provider should be aware of other people present in the place where the event will take place, regardless of how "open minded" the people around are. The "I'm ok with it" thing or "I'll be a fly on the wall" thing is not the issue; it's a comfort and personal safety issue.

He doesn't know any single thing about that person, and seems like you did not inform him about having a roommate when making arrangements. To me that looks like a personal safety thing.
Yes, you should have told him. He's coming to a home of a stranger, that alone has a degree of risk, then he's surprised by seeing another stranger hanging out in the house, without knowing who that person is or what the intentions are.
I don't find the actions of the provider unreasonable.
I've had unpleasant experiences with opposite roles. I've been to the place where the provider is set, and I have found people there hanging around, and it does not feel comfortable and pleasant. In fact, one of them had the roommates passing back and forth in front of me while I was getting the massage.
IMO, both the client and the provider should be aware of other people present in the place where the event will take place, regardless of how "open minded" the people around are. The "I'm ok with it" thing or "I'll be a fly on the wall" thing is not the issue; it's a comfort and personal safety issue.

He doesn't know any single thing about that person, and seems like you did not inform him about having a roommate when making arrangements. To me that looks like a personal safety thing.
Yes, you should have told him. He's coming to a home of a stranger, that alone has a degree of risk, then he's surprised by seeing another stranger hanging out in the house, without knowing who that person is or what the intentions are.
I don't find the actions of the provider unreasonable.
I've had unpleasant experiences with opposite roles. I've been to the place where the provider is set, and I have found people there hanging around, and it does not feel comfortable and pleasant. In fact, one of them had the roommates passing back and forth in front of me while I was getting the massage.
IMO, both the client and the provider should be aware of other people present in the place where the event will take place, regardless of how "open minded" the people around are. The "I'm ok with it" thing or "I'll be a fly on the wall" thing is not the issue; it's a comfort and personal safety issue.

I don't think that this is a regulated profession, so what I do is that I pay the regular amount unless he brings up that there's a new rate. When there's a new rate, I may or may not agree to pay, and sometimes I agree to the higher rate but give less or no tip, depending. Inflation is out of control in USA, so we all have to be mindful of our expenses, especially us the working class.

I'm not a provider, but I'm a gay man who hooks up with other people. I don't see the point of you bringing that up to him. If there's any interest in you on his part, he will mention it at the time when he feels ready and appropriate. It could be a different situation if he lies about it, or sustains a position against escorting while you know that he escorts. But if it's just a person that you met and hooked up with, if you have a real inteterest in that person, let him disclose at his pace. If otherwise you get a cheap thrill by brining people's information (not exactly secrets if he advertises), then act accordingly. Just keep in mind that who knows how many things we hide when we hook up with others. We all have our own things to tell or keep quiet. The fact that he's a provider doesn't make him any less of a human being. Just my thoughts, not law.

I don't think that this is a regulated profession, so what I do is that I pay the regular amount unless he brings up that there's a new rate. When there's a new rate, I may or may not agree to pay, and sometimes I agree to the higher rate but give less or no tip, depending. Inflation is out of control in USA, so we all have to be mindful of our expenses, especially us the working class.

Yes I've met them. I was the cool uncle to some of them. He's been responsible (at least financially) with all his childre, some of which are now adults who grew to become the finest people. Some are as conservative as he is, some are not. His son followed his steps and he's in the Army.
 
I can see that. Hopefully with the additional information you're taken aforth.

I'll be the judge of that.

I agree. As I say, I put my money where my mouth is when I say that I respect other people's beliefs and that I welcome diversity. Welcoming my brother with his beliefs and lifestyle is welcoming diversity. Diversity means ALL people.

Yes I've met them. I was the cool uncle to some of them. He's been responsible (at least financially) with all his childre, some of which are now adults who grew to become the finest people. Some are as conservative as he is, some are not. His son followed his steps and he's in the Army.
 
I can see that. Hopefully with the additional information you're taken aforth.

When hiring a masseur who you think may be available for extras. Hire for an erotic massage and let them do their thing. Tip well and then inquire about extras on the NEXT visit.
Masseurs appreciate a regular customer and are more inclined to take it up a notch for a gentleman who is a good tipper and a nice person.

I find that this way of thinking also rears its ugly head when it comes to dealing with people of different ethnicities and class.  Their inherited prejudices will come through in other aspects as well, not only with sexuality.

When I look at profiles, I don't even look at the sexual orientation of the provider. If he's available, affordable, compatible with my needs and capable of performing as expected, I can't care less what he claims to be his sexual orientation.
Personally I've met people who prefer to hire bisexual or straight men. I try not to judge them, I just let them be, that is, until it affects me. Once in a setting that I prefer not to give details about, there were a group of gay men talking about a number of topics. There was this gay guy who apparently had a problem with other gay men, stating that the moment that he finds that a guy is gay he wants nothing to do with him. In the same paragraph where he said that he only dates straight men ("very macho" in his words), he then stated how lonely he is, and that he doesn't seem to find a man who loves him.
I just had to tell him, "Why on Earth do you want to pursue a person who, by the very definition of who he is, doesn't like you and is not interested in you that way?" His rather explosive, defensive, insulting and downright disrespectful reaction told me that he had no interest in challenging his premises, nor did he really had any legitimate interest in finding love. I know it would have been better if I just let him be, but it really rubbed me the wrong way that he had this attitude that "straight means better", or "gay is worthless". With that, I had a problem, but not with his preferences of what kind of man he prefers.
In my youth, in my early 20s, I was a very angry young man. I became a hardcore activist for the rights of gay men and for HIV/AIDS prevention education made available to all. I used to call myself "heterophobic", meaning that I was not very nice to those guys who were sometimes struggling with coming to terms with their sexuality, and they considered themselves straight or bisexual. I used to say that I respect their sexual orientation, but I will treat them the way I treat heterosexual men (which wasn't nice). I had a "straight means homophobic" and "bisexual means closet case" attitude. It cost some friendships, and took some learning and time for me to come around and be less angry/resentful at straight men in general, and becoming more welcoming and understanding.
So now I just live and let live (but don't fuck with me treating me like I am "less than" because I am gay).

I agree. As I say, I put my money where my mouth is when I say that I respect other people's beliefs and that I welcome diversity. Welcoming my brother with his beliefs and lifestyle is welcoming diversity. Diversity means ALL people.

When I look at profiles, I don't even look at the sexual orientation of the provider. If he's available, affordable, compatible with my needs and capable of performing as expected, I can't care less what he claims to be his sexual orientation.
Personally I've met people who prefer to hire bisexual or straight men. I try not to judge them, I just let them be, that is, until it affects me. Once in a setting that I prefer not to give details about, there were a group of gay men talking about a number of topics. There was this gay guy who apparently had a problem with other gay men, stating that the moment that he finds that a guy is gay he wants nothing to do with him. In the same paragraph where he said that he only dates straight men ("very macho" in his words), he then stated how lonely he is, and that he doesn't seem to find a man who loves him.
I just had to tell him, "Why on Earth do you want to pursue a person who, by the very definition of who he is, doesn't like you and is not interested in you that way?" His rather explosive, defensive, insulting and downright disrespectful reaction told me that he had no interest in challenging his premises, nor did he really had any legitimate interest in finding love. I know it would have been better if I just let him be, but it really rubbed me the wrong way that he had this attitude that "straight means better", or "gay is worthless". With that, I had a problem, but not with his preferences of what kind of man he prefers.
In my youth, in my early 20s, I was a very angry young man. I became a hardcore activist for the rights of gay men and for HIV/AIDS prevention education made available to all. I used to call myself "heterophobic", meaning that I was not very nice to those guys who were sometimes struggling with coming to terms with their sexuality, and they considered themselves straight or bisexual. I used to say that I respect their sexual orientation, but I will treat them the way I treat heterosexual men (which wasn't nice). I had a "straight means homophobic" and "bisexual means closet case" attitude. It cost some friendships, and took some learning and time for me to come around and be less angry/resentful at straight men in general, and becoming more welcoming and understanding.
So now I just live and let live (but don't fuck with me treating me like I am "less than" because I am gay).

I think it may depend on the type of felony that he was convicted of, your own moral standards about it, and how well you know him. So far it seems like none of the people you made a recommendation has had any issues.
Will you be comfortable asking him before talking about his record behind his back? That seems more in alignment with good morals.
I also agree that at the end of the day, there is a very fine line between escorting and other illegal activities that might include incurring in other illegal practices, such as the use of certain substances, prescription drugs that haven't been prescribed, and who knows what else. So if the felony that your friend was involved in doesn't involve something that might put his prospective clients at risk, I don't see why it's your responsibility to disclose it. Furthermore, I do know a few providers who are in the business because they have a record and can't find suitable work. Also, he got caught and convicted. How many are there who have committed crimes and haven't been caught?
Just my thoughts, not law.

I go for gay, all the way. Or a bi person who leans more towards gay.
It's true that straight guys are less likely to kiss or be able to pretend they're enjoying themselves.  But attitude is an issue too - I've met enough cocky, "straight acting" guys who acted waaaaay too defensive about their sexuality, insisting they had girlfriends and avoided men. That's either borderline homophobia or closet case babble.
I have a "gay activist" background as well, and always felt that looking for straight and "straight acting" men was a sign of internalized homophobia.  I'm afraid I still.do - it shows a lack of self respect.