soloyo215

What an interesting read this thread has become. I love this conversation. I don't see a lot of consensus, but I personally have learned a few things. My own position about BB/condom use is similar to some of those who have posted here. I personally don't judge other clients who prefer a higher level of protection. That said, I don't think is realistic to expect no (or minimal) risk while hiring people who are in a high-risk area of work. To me is more a matter of "comfort" (what you believe your appropriate level of risk is). I also agree with the recommendation that if you are comfortable using condoms, bring some yourself, It's better to have extra than not having any.

This is what I know: 1. Most places, including adult movie theatres, peep shows and bars in NJ that I've been to, especially those who have women of any kind, either as employees or features live or in porn, are heavily guarded and monitored for activities that go against their policies. 2. A lot, and I mean a lot of gay men exaggerate and overinflate what goes on (if anything) in places, probably in an attempt at attracting people to go there. I've been reading exaggerated charcaterizations of places since the 90s. It baffles me why some gay men do that, but some just do. 3. Every single time I've heard of any spa-type of place with some kind of sexual harassment, misconduct or assault acussations, rumors or actual proven cases, it's always been places where hetero people and/or women go or are employed. That has been the case in USA and in countries other than USA. Of course, this is only my experience (and in no way am I implying that sexual misconduct and unwanted sexual advances don't occur among gay men). 4. Many places that cater men only, but that want to offer a relaxing, non-sexual experience have facilities monitored, exposed and as public as possible. Most of the times it's to prevent some idiot who can't be discrete ruining it for everybody, or because some idiot who can't be discrete has already runied it for everybody,

The website doesn't look too organized or informative. Looks like it's not being managed properly. Never used it because it doesn't look right for me.

I missed all of the previous threads and comments. I'm glad I did if they were body shaming you, You certainly have nothing to be ashamed of. You are stunning. Welcome and best wishes.

Thanks for sharing. Not my type at all, and maybe that's why I feel similar to the way you do. I'm not looking for that type, and it seems like every other profile is a person of that type. Maybe is some kind of confirmation bias in our searches. Best.

Now you know what he was seeking. Never a pleasant situation, but better that it ends sooner than later.

Short answer: it's always a risk, personally my policy is no cash upfront. Best wishes.

Depends what for. If it's hire just for sex, I can't care less about the level of maturity, for as long as there is cognition enough to understand consent and the deal. I've always been terrible at flirting, so in that respect, the level of maturity of the other person doesn't necessarily place a role. I imagine you didn't get a response that made you want to continue the conversation. Just one of those live and learn things. Normally I just move on. Plenty of people out there.

I do. In fact, I've worked for a non-profit that serves a lot of people from that demographic. I don't see what point is that supposed to make, one way or another, Is that supposed to imply that I know nothing about people in that demographic because I don't talk to them or something? In any event, here is my stance on this: What I said about it is only supporting information of my point in my comment I am not interested in discussing this matter, as it is not going to go anywhere I am not interested in convincing anyone of my beliefs about it, and not interested in anyone's convictions about it I am entitled to my opinion about it, so I will express it as I see it fit If anyone is offended by it - go fuck yourself (now you have a real reason to be offended) If you have to clarify that you ignore my impoliteness, you don't. Now back to the actual original topic. Through the years I've seen many fake "straight" men posting that that's their sexual orientation. Because of that, and due to time passing and later seeing those men in and outside of porn with boyfriends and in Gay Prode marches, I guess that the "straight" label might not be as useful as it used to be, I am only guessing since I personally don't look for that type of sexual orientation when hiring.

I do see a mess, inconsistent, arbitrary, non-research based, and a lot of it downright made-up bullshit.

I agree with you 100%. I hate, hate, hate seeing masked men in porn. I get it, some might want/need to concel their identity, but I just don't like it, no matter how hot he is or how he moves. It's off-putting to me.

About the "straight man" thing, I see many clients attracted to straight (or to the claim to be) from providers. No judgement, nothing wrong with having a preference. Since I don't look for those (I see absolutely nothing wrong or inferior in perfectly fine gay men, some quite fine, actually), I don't notice if there is a decrease in availability in younger ones. The newer generation has created a mess regarding gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, gender expression, sex assigned at birth and blah blah blah, at-nauseam. I wouldn't be surprised if some actually struggle with what to put in their profile about their sexual orientation. Seems like they have a different mindset. So don't be surprised if you see a female who "identifies as a straight man" with a RM profile. Just signs of the time.

I agree with all that attitude matters, but I also know that being nice, friendly and even having good chemistry doesn't necessarily mean quality experience. Attitude is only one of several things that matter to me.

I have some who have reached out to me, who I have no interest in rehiring. I've texted them back simply saying that I am currently not looking for a masseur, and that I will reach out if I decide to hire him again. That did the trick for me. In other instances with other services, when I find pushy people, I increase the level of directness and unpoliteness until they get it. There's no need to be nasty right way if there's a chance that he will get the message when told nicely.

OK, we'll behave.

Welcome to the forum, In one way or another, most-to-all of us have gone through some kind of learning experience in this world, What matters is that we learn our lessons and don't keep making the same mistakes. As you get familiar with this forum, you will see that there are providers who are great people and quite professional. Enjoy.

What was the reason to do it the first time? Also, if at some point you'll do it again, that can be a great time to reach out to the provider. And who knows if you mention to the provider that you don't normally shave. If he's into porn, maybe he's open minded enough to like you hairy too. I'm not a provider, but as a retired slut, I used to reach out to lovers in order of how much I liked them. I imagine that providers will have a preference and reach out to clients that they feel are better, more manageable and more enjoyable. I think that's stanard in every profession that involves reaching out to clients. O think that's great that you got a pleasant surprise with this provider. Most of my stationary providers reach out to me every now and then, sometimes just to say hello (probably as a form of reaching out without saying that they are reaqching out), and some to let me know about their upcomong schedule. I'm not sure if one practice or another is standard or common. Personally I wouldn't bother if a provider reaches out for more business, especially if you liked the experience and he seemt to have liked it too. I don't see it as bothersome. If there's insistence and more texts than you're comfortable with, that might be a different story. Glad you had a good time and I'd suggest to keep him in mind next time that you shave.

All kinds of gadgets. I'm not fond of inanimate foreign objects. Honest question: why do you inquire about this?

You deserve better.

I just took a picture of one walking in front of me.

I don't immediately reject the masseur, but inquire about it. I am not fond of the idea of using any gadgets on me. However, in other settings, such as when getting a nice makeover haircut and beard trim, the barber used some kind of vibrating device to massage my neck and shoilders and it feels celestial. I am not open to the idea of a device in a massage since part of my needs involve physical contant, sometimes erotic, sometimes relaxing/non-sexual, but actual physical contact.

I never knew that there's so much to talk about regarding this "available now" tihng. Life is so simple to me. I know that: 1. Providers do whatever they want as they see their actions fit their purpose (that's actually one of the reasons some have given for being in that line of work) 2. Just like inches, age, position, what they are into, available now can also be stretched, misrepresented, misued and abused. 3.Most importantly, the fact that there is a public announcement about the provider being available means that others, just like me, can see it and reach out to the provider at the same time or right before me, making him no longer available. That's kind of basic. I also agree that it might mean available to take calls and and scheduling. Without putting down those who feel an urge to see a provider now, now, NOW, I think it's reasonable to wait a few hours. They have to prepare, travel and make arrangements.

That's not what I'm referring to, don't change the subject,

All those were my struggles. Also in my case: making bad decisions, not having any roadmap to life, not having any mentoring, support, role model, good example, none of that not having any life skills, not having great interpersonal skills, trusting the wrong people getting ripped off with pretty much every service not knowing anything about money or management of the business aspect of life So, yes, it's scary, yes, you will make big mistakes, yes, life happens, but in my case, also yes: I learned and didn't make the same mistake twice I don't put up with anyone's bullshit I have pride and a lot of self-respect I learned, thrived, progressed and prospered I am completely independent and self-sufficient, even as a married man Something that seems typical of the newer generation is the fear of facing life on their own as adults. I don't blame young people for it, I blame their poor parenting under the misguided belief that discipline is abuse, resulting in lack of courage, along with a sense of entitlement, expecting things to just happen without efforts, and worse, thinking than doing the dirty work to earn your place in this planet is a bad thing. I did go through hell and back, but all of it is better than buying into the notion of what this society seems to think my place in this world should be. Life can be hard, but not always. Best wishes and welcome to adulthood.

And? Are you one of those who seem to think that diversity doesn't include blondes?