Simon Suraci

@ManBearPig Go for it. It’s not an easy job. It takes a LOT behind the scenes and not everyone is cut out to be a good SW. I won’t even begin to outline all the things you would need to prepare yourself for emotionally, physically, time wise, and mentally. If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to go all the way on all those things, not just tick a few physical characteristic boxes. Not all the work is flashy and sexy. That’s just the front end. There is a market for every type. Straight/bi men have a special appeal for some. That’s a plus. Regarding body type, there’s a market for every shape and size and color and age. Let the clients come to you. It’s refreshing having options other than Abercrombie models. I wouldn’t be as concerned with the physical. Do NOT discount all the other demands of a successful SW.

Sex worker.

One man’s pleasure is another man’s nightmare. Haha

I offer tickle sessions. Usually the client wants to be tickled, but I reverse roles too. Often this is part of a bondage kink session with more going on than just tickling, but I do this too. I agree, it can be a lot for an hour of solid tickling. I use a wide range of stimuli from feathers to wartenberg wheels, to fabrics, to floggers - in addition to my fingers. It’s easier to break it up this way, more fun, and less monotonous. I charge my full escort rate, even if it’s in the context of a massage “scene” using the table and whatnot. It’s not massage though. It’s specialized, focused work that is more difficult to commodify than massage. Although arguably massage is so variable from masseur to masseur - that service too is not a commodity.

I wouldn’t mention that he’s your second choice. Clients reach out to me last minute all the time with no explanation at all and I don’t know the difference. I don’t care if I’m a back up. I’m glad to have the business, and glad to get a chance to prove my worth and potentially gain more future business because of it. I’m annoyed when you reach out last minute, because I want your business and the limitation on me getting that business is YOU (not giving sufficient notice), not me (in the middle of doing my job). However I recognize that other guys flake and that’s not on you. If I am available, I accept. Win-win. If I am not, you might not get a prompt response because I have to finish with my current client before texting a reply. If I am in the middle of a 2-hr or longer appointment it could be a while! So give some grace in that case. It’s amazing how butt hurt some guys get when I don’t treat them as if I am on call 24/7 exclusively for them. I’m not on call for them and they know it, but these clients still treat me with the same level of unreasonable expectations. It’s perfectly acceptable to request same day or last minute, but keep your expectations very low. Be kind, understanding, and courteous. We get constant requests for last minute bookings and we can’t even respond to them all that quickly because we are busy fulfilling requests that other clients made in advance.

@Unicorn I acknowledge it’s not for everyone. Some people’s bodies can’t tolerate PrEP. There are side effects for some people, albeit a minority.

Maybe something like a SW professional organization could help. At least there you can develop some more standards for how to operate professionally, and belonging to it can therefore boost credibility and therefore client confidence. The trouble is SWs are working for themselves for the most part. Unions work because you have distinct, large employers that feel the burn if a significant percentage of their employees were to strike under union organization. For us, it’s many individual clients that make up our “employers”, so to speak. We’re really working for ourselves. Since we don’t work for a big employer, all of those individual clients behave much differently than a big company. Also, since it’s still illegal in most parts of the US, legal enforcement and legal pressures do not apply like they do for other work. Striking doesn’t really work effectively. We don’t work for RentMen. If we don’t like how RentMen does things, someone (individual, company, or collective) can challenge their market share by offering an alternative platform. Instead of boycotting RentMen in a negative manner, we could invest time and resources in a positive manner into building an alternative platform clients and SW like using better than the current hegemony. Maybe this kind of organization could look more like a gofundme campaign rather than a “strike”.

@Jarrod_Uncut I hear you on the high costs of moving and generally higher costs of living in other cities/states. San Diego as an example is tough. Looking at the article you referenced, someone would have to make over $100k to live there in an average one bedroom apartment. It’s crazy. At the same time, if you do manage to move there or elsewhere, you could recoup the costs over time by leveraging a market that will better support you. Still, it takes money to make that first leap and I hear you there. Traveling can be profitable in sprints, but it helps to have a solid client base in a home market. Traveling for many months at a time can be a big drain financially and physically. I’m moving to San Diego this week. Actually I’m in El Paso tonight stopping over to rest, with a U-Haul and my Jeep in tow. I was already in an excellent market in Dallas, so it’s probably not a drastic change, but San Diego I have every confidence will support my business, even though my costs are going up by moving there. I hope you catch a break soon and with your next windfall consider moving to a more profitable market outside of Kansas City. In the right market, you will do well, I’m sure. At the end of the day, clients are a challenge in any market, but if you have enough consistent business, that lays the right groundwork for success.

To each his own to assess his own risk. If PrEP is available, affordable, and advisable considering your particular body and overall health, AND you’re having sex, or at least open to the possibility of having sex, you have a chance of getting infected. I see no reason not to take it - perhaps other than discretion. Condoms obviously further lower your risk. Only 20 in one million have documented breakthrough cases, meaning they managed to get infected with HIV while taking PrEP consistently. 0.002% is a lot better odds than the lottery, but pretty darn low, certainly a lot less than 1.0%. The actual number is likely something much less than 1% and something a little bit greater than 0.002% because we don’t have data on unreported cases.

Let’s be clear: anyone can get HIV when he tops OR bottoms during unprotected sex. There’s no getting around that. PrEP is equally effective and advisable for both tops and bottoms. It’s virtually impossible to get HIV when you use PrEP consistently, whether that be the pill or injectables. Exceptions already noted for the small minority of people with liver or kidney issues (monitored 4x/yr by your doctor), or any other other rare health conditions that may exclude someone from using PrEP. In that case, only have protected sex, even sex with a monogamous partner. You can’t trust a monogamous partner to maintain fidelity. This is not about relationships or trust, but reality. It’s very common for men in general to have multiple partners over the course of their lives, especially MSM, even the supposed monogamous ones. Women too. Take control of your own health. Protect yourself. No method is 100% effective, but condoms are effective for preventing STI transmission. In practice, condom use can be inconsistent or incorrect. Be sure to use latex compatible lubes. Natural oils and other products break down the condom and cause it to rip, or at least reduce efficacy, even if it doesn’t rip.

I’ve also had a fire alarm sound while I was with a client. It sucks. Same thing, had to wait then resume the massage after the all clear. Fortunately it wasn’t during a critical point, so to speak. Still, annoying.

Agree! I have a separate bidet fixture next to the toilet, both in my primary bath, and guest bath. Those are amazing! It requires a transfer, but the dedicated bidets are WAAAY better than the ad-hoc solutions you install on a regular toilet. Temperature and pressure controls are better, better angle, more flow, and very comfortable. Plus you’re not having to flush or deal with anything still in the toilet since the bidet is constantly drained. No need for toilet paper and it feels so much more clean and fresh that way. Toilet paper still works in a pinch, since I can’t always go at home. Pinch was perhaps a poor word choice…just sounds gross in this context, I digress…

I stay very busy, and my costs are only going up. Taxes, general costs of living, and business expenses are all higher in California than in Texas. I will also be commuting daily from my home to a business location, about 45 mins each way (vs living on site in TX). Nobody is happy about higher prices, no matter how slight, and I know only a percentage of the market is interested in hiring me at any price - BUT let’s say you were a client interested in hiring me. What do you think about the proposed changes below? I’m particularly interested in your opinion if you are located in the San Diego area. Proposed Pricing: Massage $80 / 30 min (vs $75) $150 / 60 min (vs $140) $210 / 90 min (vs $195) $260 / 120 min (vs $240) ^add to any massage: $40 / 15 min hot stones (vs $35) Body Care $50 / 30 min body scrub (vs $45) $70 / 45 min body trimming (vs $65) (body sculpting removed from menu) Cuddle Therapy $80 / 30 min (vs $65) $150 / 60 min (vs $120) Full Service (no change) $300 / hr $500 / two hours Escort Service (no change) $1,000 / five hours $2,000 / overnight $5,000 / weekend or (2) days $1,000 / additional day after (2) days $10,000 / week Notes: Escort service is all inclusive; companionship, massage/spa, and full service, any combination. Massage pricing is consistent for therapeutic, sensual, and erotic style massages.

Just By Looking at Him, by Ryan O’Connell (audio format read by the author). Many of you may know Ryan from the Netflix show Special. I listened to it on the road during my driving days on tour this month. If you enjoyed Special, you will love this. It’s honest, touching, and very funny. The main character is a TV writer who lives with cerebral palsy. He hires a sex worker he heard about from his boss and goes on to hire many more, without telling his loving, monogamous boyfriend. He struggles with why and how to cope with his shame and sense of addiction. He keeps on hiring the first sex worker over and over - until his boyfriend mentions that he wants to hire the same guy for a special threesome experience. The novel continues to spiral from there as the main character works through his feelings and everything comes to a head. Worth a read. Well done.

Depends on your dick. If you have a downward curving one, it may actually work better in reverse cowboy position. The same applies for doggie style. If you have a straight or upward curving cock, regular cowboy will work best. Same applies for missionary. While almost every position is possible for every couple (save for mobility restrictions), some are better suited to your particular anatomy.

From what I’ve read, it sounds promising and worth more studies to corroborate data to make a case for widespread use. I wonder how the potential for mass long term use of various antibiotics may accelerate the development and spread of antibiotic resistant strains of STIs. If/when the antibiotics we have now are no longer effective against those problematic strains, and those strains are circulating much more commonly through the population (especially among MSM), what then will we have available to fight infections? Wouldn’t it be nice if we could eradicate all STIs? …*sigh*

Clients, masseurs, and providers: have you ever experienced an emergency during an appointment? Health scare, safety issue, violence, break in, police showing up, etc. Share your story. Sometimes I worry something really awkward or crazy is going to happen, like a client has a heart attack on my table. Here’s an episode from earlier this year. A regular client is showering with me during a body scrub service. All the sudden, he started to sway almost like he was drunk and he said he felt dizzy. The next moment he faints, and I snatch him before he can hurt himself. I gently get his body down to the tub in a sitting upright position. He is unconscious, eyes open in a dead stare off in different directions. I turn on some cold water and slap his face around a few times. “Stay with me, [client], stay with me!” I keep at it for about 20-30 seconds, which felt like 10 minutes in the heat of the moment. Eventually he came to and I made him rest for a few minutes and drink water before helping him up out of the tub. Even though I knew he simply fainted, I was really concerned for his safety. God knows what kind of explaining I would have to do if he never came to. This kind of stuff really haunts me. It’s not unheard of to faint during a shower, especially if the water is particularly hot, there’s less fresh air circulating, you’re unknowingly taking shallow breaths, or you rise suddenly from a lower position to a higher one. I know because this has happened to me once on my own. I fainted, fell over, and hit my head on the toilet and came to a few minutes later, covered in blood. For the record, there was no hanky panky happening with the client or anything unusual to cause shallow breaths or something else out of the ordinary. It just happened spontaneously. This client I like to call the “fainting goat”, because he has a goatee, and frankly, kind of looks like a goat! He’s one of my favorite clients. Great guy. I take extra precautions now to ensure better airflow and a slightly lower water temperature. Feel free to share your emergency experiences.

@Jarrod_Uncut What’s stopping you from moving to a different market?

Short pockets of time here and there I find to read and contribute. A lot of the time I’m busy working. Currently on a four city tour and it’s been a crazy busy time. Booked back to back morning to night every single day for weeks now. I’m exhausted. I enjoy learning more about the biz, trends, and how clients think. I do this for market research too. I’m also a client, at least for massage anyway. Sometimes people forget that. It’s entertaining here if nothing else. That’s probably the biggest reason I stick around. Clients tell me from time to time my approach on the forums directly or indirectly influenced their decision to hire me. That’s just a bonus. I could spend my marketing time more effectively in other ways. It’s just a positive outcome. You can learn a lot more here than you ever could on a short ad bio, and clients like that. Call me old fashioned, but I would rather read things here than on other major social media platforms for a few reasons: 1) No algorithms curating what I see or don’t see. Nothing reinforcing extreme content or views. If I don’t like something or have no interest, I make a conscious decision to scroll on. 2) A greater percentage of members are willing to engage in civil, thoughtful dialogue. More of us are invested in making our community better for everyone. Big social media is not like that at all. 3) The content is focused largely on shared interests and related niche MSM topics, more specifically those on hiring. That creates a natural filter for things I am more likely to be interested in, have experience with, or have something constructive to contribute. 4) There’s more space than 140 characters (or whatever limit du jour), and people here actually read. Sure we use images, but most of what we post here requires reading comprehension to engage. That’s refreshing when the rest of the world only has the attention span long enough to view a catchy headline or a photo. 5) It’s easier to search for and reference things.

@Unicorn Yes, I report and pay taxes on my income. Still that’s my concern, either way and not that of other members. I’m a big boy. No I don’t have all the answers. More favorable compensation, benefits, and terms would in theory make someone like me more seriously consider an arrangement. As to whether I personally would or wouldn’t take a client up on a specific offer is a separate discussion, and a private one at that. I hope you know I have nothing against you or your current relationship and make no judgments about it. Frankly, I’m not personally very invested in this topic. I just thought it was interesting to discuss. It would be nice to hear from others what they think is fair, compelling, or realistic compensation and terms for a sugar arrangement. I would like to learn more about how people think about sugar arrangements. I’m genuinely curious. Nobody has to listen to me or find value in my contributions. Feel free to disagree or disregard. It doesn’t bother me. The stakes here are so low. I just don’t care that much lol. I’ll end my engagement on this thread here.

The OP question is: “How much does it cost to be a sugar daddy?” The answer is: it depends. “On what?”, you might ask. Answer: On many factors. My response highlights only one of the major factors, which is the motivations and sensibilities of the hired man. Some require more financial incentive and/or specific terms, while others require less financial incentive and perhaps fewer or different terms. Without spelling out exactly what it would cost for each hired man under the sun, I offered an example in myself. For example, @socurious might be willing to negotiate an offer along the lines of $150k /yr plus benefits, whereas I wouldn’t because I have different motivations. I suppose you would have to speak to @socurious directly rather than me putting words in his mouth, but he seems eager based on his responses, so I’ll mention him as a counter example. The example in myself illustrates how different one’s costs could be based on who you are looking to hire. One guy will eat Popeye’s and sleep on your couch or in your bed. One may require all organic food and sleep in a guesthouse, or expect more perks or higher compensation. That’s why I say: it depends. @Unicorn If all of that makes me a “downer”, so be it. I don’t expect my answer to be palatable to everyone. You may not like my response, but it is honest, thoughtful, and it answers the question. It gives a framework for how one might think about the costs, since there is no single number or range of numbers to apply in every situation. To determine the total costs, you have to know the terms of your man, and his motivations. From there, you can build a list to calculate the approximate costs.

Divorce is a bitch no matter how relatively wealthy each party happens to be. Considering how much worse it could have gone, it sounds like a good settlement agreement. In some sense, yes, especially when parties are mismatched financially, which can change over time. All the more reason to consider hiring various men to directly satisfy specific needs. It simplifies matters.

Arrangements vary and the people involved are unique. I did not mean to Imply they are all the same or that others should think the way I do. I’m simply putting out an opinion based on my own sensibilities and motivations. What works for another guy may not work for me. My contribution is to shed light on a hired boy’s motivations, which directly influences how much it would cost to maintain a sugar relationship. That’s the OP question. Other opinions welcome. The hired boy may not currently make as much, and he may not care much about sleeping arrangements or “leaving work at work” as much as I do. Good for him. My point is to say for some guys like me it would take a lot more to theoretically attract and retain than someone else. Who your hired guy is and his motivations will determine how much it would cost. Also marriage is a whole other dynamic I won’t even get into. Sugar arrangements usually are not legal marriage, but great if that works well for your situation.

I find it difficult to fathom giving up my independence - my whole life really - in exchange for 150k/yr + perks. Especially when that arrangement will inevitably end in short order. I already make more than that, and at the end of the day I go home and sleep in my own bed in my own house with a whiskey neat on the nightstand, and nobody to bother me. Not even my partner because we sleep in separate rooms after spending our quality waking hours together. That’s the life! I sleep so well that way. A sugar arrangement might be better suited under a contract term, like for 6 or 12 months at a time. Kind of like renewing a lease on an apartment. Anyone done something like this before? When either party is not wanting to continue, there’s a natural stopping point and no drama about being “replaced” or illusions about depending on someone indefinitely, and the sugar daddy doesn’t have to feel bad about moving on when he’s ready. It’s planning for the inevitable and making the endpoint much more graceful and agreeable for both parties.

That’s definitely not a massage. Everything about this ad tells me you should hire him like you would a provider on RentMen.