Simon Suraci

I worked in Dallas, Texas for two years after the felony laws went into effect. No change in hiring trends or number of providers, basically nothing changed. From what I’ve read, it may have marginally impacted the straight hiring scene moreso than m4m, but I don’t know for sure.

^Thank you for bringing up that point. ^Thank you. As a versatile/mostly top provider, I need notice too. Bottoming takes a significant level of prep, but I can usually handle that with two hours notice or less, I’m already near my shower, and assuming I am eating my normal diet and nothing health wise is preventing me from performing. Topping also takes notice because I want to give my clients my best. If I just blew a load, either on my own or for a client, I can’t exactly give my next client the best possible experience. Sure I can probably make it work, but it’s stacking the odds for a suboptimal meet for sure. Two hours or less notice assumes I’m a monk all day every day when I’m not otherwise working, and that I haven’t had any clients that day requiring me to top and cum for them (maybe even multiple times). ^I agree. It takes time to travel, and clients often don’t appreciate what it takes to get ready and get to them on short notice. Clients don’t factor in traffic, or distance, especially if they are visiting from out of town and have no concept of it. _________________ With all that said, I set my booking app to allow my clients to book two hours ahead from the time they are viewing. As long as it’s within my standard hours, they can automatically book same day, two hours ahead. For incall massage, that’s no problem. It’s quite handy when I am working on a client and can’t otherwise respond to a last minute request. The client books, they get a notification with all the info, and show up for their appointment. Easy. Not sure why more people don’t take advantage of that feature.

Also, MasseurFinder is among the most expensive ad platforms around. The only way to be in one of the top slots is to pay an outrageous sum every month. You can follow all the rules and be the most up-to-date, etc and still fall in the middle of the pack (at best). I pay $105/mo for bronze based on rates a few years ago, but they keep jacking everything up. It’s crazy:

Thanks for sharing this insight @Shawn Monroe. Agree, MasseurFinder is very restrictive and they ding your placement if you don’t follow all their criteria. One of those criteria is using all of the features, like offering a day of the week discount. I advertise weekly specials, but stopped advertising ongoing day of the week discounts because MF will only allow you to frame it as a flat % rather than a dollar value. Since my longer sessions are already discounted, it would be a disservice to myself to offer another discount on top of that. Besides, the day of the week discount wasn’t bringing me much extra business anyway.

I agree. To clarify, it’s ok to have boundaries. We shouldn’t be doormats. When a client flakes, I don’t book them again. At the same time, I have no need to spend emotional energy going out of my way to make them feel bad for flaking. If it helps you emotionally to vent, by all means, call them out. They don’t care though, and calling them out won’t change their behavior. Some clients are shitty, and will be shitty no matter what. You mention your website and deposits and such. Great. I have policies and ways of doing business too, and it does cut down on a lot of nonsense. Even when we have policies in place to weed out some of the worst offenders, we can’t possibly prevent them all. I accept that fact and move on. To dwell on clients being shitty is a “me” problem. I can’t force clients to change their behavior.

Turning the tables here…a client today requested I mail him a letter instead of texting. He’s 91 years old. I think that’s my oldest client to date. I get it. He’s not great with text communication. We’re good with phone calls and communicate that way whenever I’m free, and he leaves a VM when I can’t pick up, which really helps. During our session, he brought up some ideas for other things he wants to hire me for besides massage. I gave him a brief rundown, but he needs a list to mull over. I’m going to hand write and snail mail him a menu of additional services to review for future appointments.

Your questions are fine. Masseurs that don’t answer specific questions don’t really need/want the work. Best to move on when that happens. I concur with the points from others above. A good masseur will answer all your questions, even if he’s delayed in doing so. Never hurts for him to say “I can respond after x time”. Sometimes a text comes in and I have literally 2 mins or less until my next client is at my door and so I can’t actually respond right away, but text the client I will get back to them later, with an approximate time, and then follow up later. If I am already with a client, I respond as soon as the session is over. The only question you mentioned I might change is the open ended “Tell me about your massage”. I have stock answers saved on my phone to copy/paste, so it doesn’t really bother me. For other masseurs, this might be asking for a lot, for a number of reasons. They don’t know what exactly you are asking. They may send you a long general description, but it might not cover things you want to know. Are you inquiring about their modalities? Stretching? Pressure? Tools they use? All of those are easier to answer individually, in the same way you ask about the bed vs table or oil/lotion questions. When I get the vague “Tell me about your massage”, or worse, “What’s included with your massage?”, I am left to wonder: is this client asking me to tell him about extras? If I tell him about extras but he really was only wanting to know about things like pressure and style, it makes me seem like I don’t take my work seriously, like it’s just a rub and tug. When I tell him only about style and pressure and whatnot, he’s frustrated because he may really only be interested in the extras info. It’s a catch 22. Also, not everyone offers extras, and those that do are sometimes uncomfortable putting it in writing. That’s why a lot of masseurs might avoid the question. Often I will ask the client to be more specific with their questions so my answers will be more direct and relevant to what they want to know. You might consider asking more pointed questions or yes/no questions about things you care about, especially regarding anything erotic or sensual. Is x included? Do you allow y? Are you nude during the massage? What pressure do you use? Do you offer deep tissue? It’s uncommon, but I like it when a client tells me exactly what they want. It makes it easy for me to say “yes, no problem, I offer all of what you described.” And then I know what to do to make that client happy. Occasionally, I may have to say “I offer everything you want, but I charge differently for xyz. Here is my rate structure: … ___”

As if paying these men thousands of dollars after each session makes coercive actions and sex trafficking ok…I bet that’s how Jeffries rationalized his actions. Using your power, influence, position, etc to force people to do sexual favors for you is just wrong. Reminds me of the #metoo movement and Hollywood exposés in recent years. I know someone who was blackmailed into doing sex work against his will. That’s another way to wield power over someone. His older boyfriend told him he would out him to his family if he didn’t keep working. The boyfriend pimped him out for years and the poor guy never saw a dime. Clients never knew he was being trafficked. Eventually my friend came out to his family and that gave him the power to escape.

https://rent.men/ErikDuran Anyone have experience with Erik? He has half a dozen positive reviews on RentMen. He’s been around for about 20 years now, including several years of a break before returning to the biz. I had lunch with him today to discuss possible collaborations for escort services. He looks like his pics. Sweet guy, good chemistry, sexy, easy to talk with. Working with him will be a good experience, I think. Any insight would be great!

I take the same approach with clients…to find that special something - physical or otherwise - that makes them attractive, interesting, and engaging. That helps me engage well with a wide variety of clients. For most people, it’s not that hard. It just takes a positive and professional approach.

Same here. The big problem I have with using it is that I don’t receive notifications. I have the app push notifications turned on because I want an alert when someone is trying to contact me. I am more than happy to respond asap, but I never see the alert unless I happen to be on the RentMen website and see it pop up. Does anyone know how to get consistent, reliable push notifications from RentMen Messenger? I have email alerts turned on too, but some of those come through weeks or sometimes months after someone messaged me. Not exactly practical. I don’t enjoy using RentMen Messenger, but it has improved a bit over time. I much prefer texting because I know I will see it sooner and can respond more quickly and efficiently that way. I understand clients have various reasons for not wanting to text, so I want to make myself available on RentMen Messenger.

When this happens (not often) it’s usually an honest mistake. I contact the client and tell them how much they shorted, and offer an alternative method to make up the difference. I don’t demand a tip, just what they agreed to pay based on my advertised rates. Sometimes the client comes back shortly after to settle up, or they use a digital payment method. It happens. We’re all human. Kudos to you @questbear for going way out of your way to make it right. Respect. Most clients would give up and not care. This is also an example for masseurs and other providers to not make assumptions and to not give up on their clients without first trying to make some sort of effort. That block button is so easy to push, but sometimes a small amount of communication can recover some lost income, and more importantly, foster a good ongoing client relationship.

I agree. It’s shitty, but the world won’t change for us. You either adapt and learn to not let it bother you, or you resolve to be eternally frustrated.

Lol this happens with my clients all the time. Total tops come to me with an agenda and find something missing in their life they never knew they wanted so badly or could enjoy so much. All this comes from embracing a spirit of exploration, openness, and feeling out the chemistry. With the right time (no rushing) you get a chance to nurture the right atmosphere. Sometimes it happens over multiple sessions. One of the benefits of repeat/ongoing hires is building on the trust, understanding, and chemistry you’ve already established.

The only thing limiting you is your own creativity! I like to encourage clients to imagine what they would want for longer sessions. Massage, working out together, playing video games, shopping, meals, Jamie’s bathhouse idea…the possibilities are endless. Then of course there’s always the simple cuddle and conversation approach, which is always nice. Clients vary in their sexual and non-sexual needs and desires. What works for one client in an hour may work better for you in two. You might enjoy quick (and perhaps multiple) rounds, or going for a long stretch at a time with a lot of buildup, and perhaps some breaks, or alternating back and forth between activities. Some clients really like extended edging, for example, which takes a considerable amount of session time. Sometimes things change in a session. You thought you wanted one thing, but emotionally and physically you feel like doing something else in the moment, so you pivot, and that’s ok. A good pro Iwill roll with it. The most important thing is that you’re getting the experience you want and that you’re satisfied, no matter how long or short the session. The key is to know yourself well enough to budget enough time, which gives you the emotional space to fully enjoy the experience. These things cost a lot of money. You want to savor it. There is no one-size-fits all. You’re in total control of the session and responsible for communicating your needs to your provider. Doing so maximizes the value of your hiring time.

Your experience is common. Escort service is by the hour (or portion thereof). Masseurs charge by half hour because it’s intense, skilled, focused physical work versus a conversation and cuddle lasting 15 mins longer or shorter. That’s not to say I think an escort appointment going over by 5 mins merits charging a full extra hour, but we work to the client’s satisfaction. I take cues from the client. When he’s satisfied and ready to leave, all good. If he wants the full time, it’s also perfectly good. When things start to drift much beyond the scheduled time, I gently signal that it’s either time to wrap up, or offer to extend the session if I have availability to extend.

Here is a source. Their poppers are milder than the more well known labels. The payment process was a little roundabout, but you can obtain poppers pretty easily online. I tried the linked brand below hoping to actually enjoy poppers. They were milder than most but for me it was a bust. I hate poppers of any strength or brand, period. Taking a hit makes me go limp, lightheaded (in a bad way) and feel all kinds of sick. More power to the large segment of the community that enjoys using them. In person, in sex shops, you have to ask for “popcorn”, at least here in California. I’m assuming there’s a legal reason they can’t explicitly use the common street name. Technically, poppers are still illegal, but still widely available everywhere. The laws regarding poppers are not strictly enforced, and in some pockets of the US not enforced at all. Double Scorpio Poppers - Solvent Cleaner Source! - Double Scorpio Poppers SCORPIOPOPPERS.COM Double Scorpio Poppers. Taking the world by storm. Scorpio Poppers the authentic choice for Double...

Yup. Use the correct terms. We’ve discussed this and closely related topics elsewhere. Here are a couple relevant posts:

Sides are a minority, but they exist. I have some side clients. Not every man interested sexually and/or romantically in other men wants to have penetrative sex. Often they only like oral play, or sometimes not even that, but find other ways to be intimate and sexual. The reasons for their preferences are both wide and complex. It’s not always about trauma or avoiding STIs. Some just find anal sex to be generally gross. For some, it’s a practical matter rather than a preference. For example, he can’t bottom, for medical reasons. Or he can’t top, because he is a trans man and doesn’t enjoy strap-on play. Or like Jamie mentioned, his size makes it impractical to penetrate, even if he otherwise would want to.

I automate this process. Once the client confirms day, start time, and services, I book them in my booking system. Then the system works on my behalf days or even weeks later sending a reminder to the client with all the relevant details. That assumes I have an email or phone number, even if it’s a junk email or burner number. Some clients do not wish to share a contact method. I ask for it when confirming their appointment request details and most share one. For bookings coordinated 100% on other platforms, I sometimes remember to send a confirmation message the day before, or hours before their appointment. Sometimes I don’t. Most still show.

Answer to title question: yes. Every client, no, but most, yes. No masseur is obligated to provide a HE, but almost all clients want and expect one, especially from an independent masseur advertising on m4m platforms. Unless the masseur explicitly advertises “therapeutic only” or similar phrasing, with appropriate pricing to match, the norm is to provide some level of erotic elements. What those are and how far they go varies widely. I agree with @nycman’s post in almost every respect. Full service during a massage (i.e. penetration) demands escort pricing and client agreement on said pricing beforehand. Otherwise you’re leaving a lot of money and self respect on the table. Please don’t do this, for your sake, and for the sake of others in the profession who have to deal with incredibly unreasonable client expectations of us to provide escort service for a massage price. If you’re not skilled at massage, I recommend sticking to escort service. There’s nothing more disappointing than a massage from a provider who has no idea what he is doing. You can learn, of course, but until you develop your skills, I recommend not advertising massage.

Way back in the thread before any mention of the the tattoo, I noticed the forehead. I have nothing against face tattoos in general, but I sure as hell am going to see a red flag when someone willingly puts anything that could be immediately construed as violent or threatening on their face…even as a reference to a musical artist. Not everyone will get the reference. Even when they do, this particular tattoo isn’t very tasteful or attractive, in my subjective opinion. At best, distracting. At worst, unsettling. It demonstrates bad judgment. Say he didn’t have that horrid tattoo. His pics are all grimaces and frowns, when you even see his face at all, otherwise behind a sloppy camera-blocks-face selfie. Nothing professional, inviting, or alluring about that approach. Trashy vibe in general. In this case, what you see is exactly what you get. I never would have hired the guy. Aside on Houston: between Memphis and Houston, these two cities were where I felt the least safe so far. In fact, I stayed in a nice area of Montrose, the Houston “gayborhood”. A vagrant robbed one of my clients on his way out to his car after his appointment with me. My client tracked down the thief using using an apple tracking device and paid a ransom to get his valuables back. I had other troubles in Houston I won’t even get into here. Please, clients and providers alike, be extra careful and vigilant in Houston. It has a lot of shady characters. Even the nicer areas are vulnerable to crime. Use common sense no matter how professional and put together your guy is, but especially when your guy looks like this. I hate to say it, but sometimes a book cover does not belie its content.

I strongly suggest NOT doing this. When you have a firm cap on what you’re willing to spend, I suggest sticking to providers that advertise a figure within that cap. Sending photos and asking for a discount puts a good provider in an awkward position. First off, it makes you seem entitled. Not a good tone to start things. Second, if he agrees, he’s less motivated to provide you with the same level of service he normally would. You’re basically asking for subpar service. OR he’s providing the same or better service for less, but ONLY for clients he finds attractive. That’s not how this business works. That’s a sign of a bad provider. He doesn’t get it. This isn’t Grindr with money exchange. His needs and desires should not be the focus. It really shows when you have a guy who clearly has his own agenda and wants to get paid for it too. That makes for a bad client experience. It’s tolerable in a hookup, but not in a hire. When the photo with discount request scenario happens to me - and it does more frequently than I care for - you’re suggesting that you’re so attractive that the provider should perform a service to you for less because you presumably provide more non-tangible value to the provider than what you’re willing to pay, and you’re assuming the provider values said non-tangible benefit literally more than his livelihood. That’s a big ask. Fine for a hookup. Not fine when you’re working to pay your bills. For me, it’s the same work, the same time, and the same focus on client satisfaction. It doesn’t matter if you’re physically attractive or an oaf. I’m still making your pleasure the priority. Arguably, the less attractive client is often easier to please. Hygiene, communication, respect, and other things being equal, the more attractive clients can often be higher maintenance compared to less attractive clients. It just depends. I’ve worked with some really beautiful jerks in my time, and I much prefer good chemistry and mutual respect with an average or unattractive client. I’ve worked with some very attractive yet very good people too. You never know. It’s not all about looks. We spend the same hours before, during, and after your appointment devoted to bringing you the best. It behooves us to entertain clients who pay our full rates. Spending that same time on clients demanding to pay less is a disservice to our business and livelihood. We can hook up on our own time if we really want to, and the rules and dynamics are totally different when no money is involved. When you hire, you’re getting something of value, so please value it accordingly and respect us by doing so. If you want to hook up, try the apps. Your beauty will get you pretty far there, but remember people are flaky, selfish, disrespectful, shallow, impatient, impulsive, and mostly only considering their own needs. Hiring bypasses all that stuff. Providers offer inherent value in that regard. When you hire, you are asking someone to make YOU their priority and serve your needs, on your schedule, the way you see fit. If your provider enjoys the experience (good acting or genuine, you never need to know the difference), all the better, but his focus is on serving you to the best of his ability. A good provider gets that, and to provide a quality experience demands of a provider the same level of attention and care than he would deliver for a less attractive client. Therefore, he should be compensated the same.

I’m with you guys on the fake stuff. It’s easy to make fun of cartoonish exaggerated body enhancements on guys like these, but for some clients this is the total fantasy. There’s a niche market for it. More power to the providers who “fill” it!

Thanks @BeefyDude. I agree with your approach on time of day. If you’re leaving some sort of written notice that you’re trying to get in contact for a phone call, that helps A LOT. If you give times you are available, or confirm it’s ok to call back any time, that helps too. I would call back whenever I’m free in that case. I would apply the same courtesy you mentioned of calling at times that make sense i.e. not late in the late evening, early in the morning, or in the middle of the night. Keep in mind I also try to respect clients’ privacy. Each client has different privacy needs. You might be fine with a call back whenever I free up. Some clients do not want to receive unexpected calls for various reasons, so if it’s unclear or they request so, I would text them to confirm when they are free for a call. The same applies if the client reached out on RentMen Messenger or RentMasseur Messenger, email, etc. instead of text. If I see a single missed call - or even repeated missed calls, for that matter - from a non-contact without any voicemail, I would ignore or block the number assuming it’s spam, by default. This happens to me all the time and I have no way to know the difference. A voicemail or text message tells me that you’re a client asking for a call back, and I gladly do call back in that case.