Simon Suraci

Sure. I’m obviously not taking any precautions to hide myself online. The comments are more an observation of other providers I know of that go out of their way to limit their online exposure. Not everyone does this of course, and not everyone needs to or wants to. In fact, those that do are in the minority. Being detained or deported by CBP is one of many explanations of why some providers severely limit or omit their face pics.

Gotcha, thank you. Would you like to link your RM profile in your signature? It makes it easy for members to view your details and learn more.

Bravo @tenderloin for communicating your desires upfront. There's nothing wrong with asking for what you want. I wish more clients would do the same. If the provider can't deliver, he shouldn't agree to meet you. Faking it is no substitute. Pressuring the provider is not going to get you what you want either. I concur with: I factor in cum. That's why I take fewer escort clients. I can only shoot a load so many times in a given day and I want it to be special for the clients who are specifically hiring me for the service. For some, it's important that I cum for them one (or more) times (usually once), and I make sure I can deliver according to their desires by spacing out clients and limiting how many I take. I can't guarantee cum by any means, but nearly all such requests I am able to fulfill. I confess once in a great while I fake it, but not because I am trying to save up for another client. Although I don't force cum if it's unimportant to the client. Sometimes what they want doesn't require me to cum at all and they are perfectly happy without it. In that case, I'm not going to blow a load unless I personally want to. Even then, I would probably hold off to save myself the maximum mojo I can muster for a known or potential client later. One particular client comes to mind. He wants me to cum "on command" when I am inside him. I can't do that every time, although I try. I spend a good deal of energy NOT reaching orgasm so that I can pleasure him for as long as he wants. Then suddenly he wants to snap his fingers and make me explode. I can sometimes, or at least in short order. Other times, I have to fake it because it would take me too long to get back up to that point of no return. It's more important and more hot for him to perceive that I came at his command. He's bi-curious and has very little experience with men, pretty much only me as far as I know. I like to think he doesn't know better. He's never called me out on the O, and I like to think I am quite convincing when it counts. I don't make a habit of faking it. Sometimes, you have to for the sake of the client. Most clients know better, so I won't even go there. Side note, one of my clients likes to pay more "per additional load". It's part of his pay pig kink but also just because cum is hot and exciting to him. This dynamic was particularly fun (and motivating!) when he hired me to bring in two other working guys where we all three coat him with load after load toward the end of the session. We delivered more than one each. I think for me it was three. For him, part of the thrill was the cha-ching sounds in his own head when we kept earning more and more fee. That was a good payout. And man, did that client have the time of his life! Sometimes paying more for more cum can be a good incentive. I realize the pay pig thing is a niche interest and not for everyone. Still a fun thing to try, even on a smaller scale.

I see no reason the client shouldn't ask this, especially if he knows you don't advertise specifically as a bottom, power bottom, or prefer that role. However, he's contacting you anyway which means he passed over a LOT of bottom bunk providers that he probably should be reaching out to instead. Especially in light of his particular issue. It means this guy has very specific tastes for your look/personality, or he gets off on topping men who normally don't or at least less frequently. Perhaps he even wants to test your pain limits. Not someone I want to deal with, personally. I had this happen recently. The client keeps contacting me asking for the same reassurances over and over. He had the same request and same concerns. He also kept asking me repeatedly if he could do whatever he wanted to me. I repeatedly respond with something along the lines of "yes, as long as we discuss and agree on what you want beforehand". All red flags. This guy respects no boundaries, intends to hurt me, or at least blindside me with god knows what kind of actions or behavior during the session. Not to mention I am a naturally a stronger top than I am a bottom and need plenty of time to slowly and gently warm up in order to proceed. If he doesn't respect those boundaries, he could really hurt me. No thanks, hard pass. Plenty of respectful average, small, above average, and large dicks out there looking for attention that I am happy to service. I don't need a giant figurative (and literal) dick to wreck me, figuratively (and literally) for the same fee as any of the others. Not to mention he is quick to say he won't pay for something. Red flag. Move on.

Here's how I operate. I avoid a lot of this trouble by being smart about where, when, and how much I travel. 1) Identify the right travel cities for my goals. A. Cities I've had success in before. Lots of repeats and contacts, etc. B. Cities I have researched and have reason to believe I will be successful. C. Cities I want to see for fun on my own dime, but make myself available for work. D. Scout new cities I have less intel on and be willing to risk some/all of the accommodations costs. E. Plan cities on a route to/from other destinations when on tour. F. Limit or avoid listing "nearby travel" cities. If I spend less time driving around, I can work more. 2) I don't charge incall fees. A. In fact, depending on the services, I charge more for outcalls because it takes more time to fulfill. B. Outcalls mean fewer clients I can see in a given day. I eat the cost of hosting in favor of more clients. C. I book lower cost AirBnBs wherever possible. These are often the same or less than hotels. D. I intentionally book some slightly higher cost AirBnBs when I know the place is going to attract clients. E. Location matters. Clients want safe, nice neighborhoods and convenient parking. Nice shower is a plus. F. Be smart about what and where I book. The right place makes clients more eager to book me for incalls. G. Clients willing to travel to me tend to be better overall. Fewer high maintenance types. Just a trend. H. When a client flakes, it's much faster and easier to fill their spot if I mostly stay at the incall location. I. Maintain waitlists. More clients inquire than I can accommodate. When someone flakes, I fill their spot. J. On tour, I average 6 clients a day. That's more than enough to cover accommodation costs. K. Keep in mind: most appointments are for massage. Any given week, I average 0-2 escort clients per day. L. I have to sleep somewhere when touring. Might as well be baked into this other cost of doing business. 3) Mostly stay in my home city. A. Select an appropriate home city. Many factors go into this. Pick the right one for you. B. If you can't move to the home city you select right away, save up, do odd jobs, whatever it takes to move. C. Select a large home city with good connectivity. Lots of travelers and decent size local client pool. D. Alternate strategy: select a medium to smaller city and corner the market because you have less competition. E. Develop long term regular client relationships with people who live in, or frequently visit your home city. F. Don't travel too frequently or for too long at a stretch; home city clients perceive you as chronically unavailable. G. Avoid travel costs by...not traveling! (as much, anyway)

I was going to attend Folsom this year because a client hired me to join him for a few days. These parties and festivals may not be a place to trot out new clients per se, but a client may very well want to bring you along and show you off to his buddies and throngs of attendees. There's always the social aspect that can be fun and also productive because someone hires you down the road due to some connection you made just chatting and hanging out (and mildly flirting) with a lot of different people. In these festival situations, it's best to interact with the groups and crowds when they are sober (or at least less drunk) and avoid the hard drug scenes, wherever possible. I think it would be the most fun when you take time off just to go for yourself, either with friends or solo. Too bad my Folsom client had to cancel a few weeks ago. I was looking forward to sporting my leather gear in public and being flaunted.

I concur. The majority of my bdsm spectrum clients are this way. Not everyone, but a lot. It's a cathartic and enlightening experience for most. It's more than just sex. It's a headspace and a mental and spiritual release. I think it's pretty healthy for the Type As among us to explore sub role play, not just for sexual gratification, but for better mental health. I embrace the sub role when requested, but it's much less common that someone requests to dominate me.

One of my clients visiting me in San Diego from Tucson recommends him. I can't speak to personal experience. The trailer/shed sounds like a no-go for me, but I'd be more inclined to try anyway because of my client referral.

Keep in mind Soothe and Zeel masseurs are far less likely to do any extras like MT, HE, etc. If anyone reports frisky behavior on those apps, the masseur could jeopardize his license. This is all fine if you want therapeutic only service, but problematic if you want even the slightest bit more, which most clients in these forums do. Soothe, Zeel, and others also take a hefty cut of the fee, plus the masseurs are spending time and money getting to you and back, setting up and taking down. Then the app tracks what services the masseur performed and you are then obligated to pay taxes on those services, even if payments are in cash, because the apps report to the IRS. That’s not a problem for me, but may be for others who do not want to claim some or all of their massage income. Between all these factors, he is making a lot less than if he stuck to his own private practice. If he’s not making that much relative to the time he’s spending, he has far less motivation to go above and beyond. If not for law enforcement concerns, then for practical ones. Just more reasons I imagine masseurs will largely offer therapeutic only service on these apps. The major advantages to these apps for masseurs is that they advertise and do some of the coordination for you so that you’re spending less time texting replies to non-serious inquiries. That’s about the only advantage I see.

^This is a lot of the reason providers do not show face pics, particularly those who travel frequently and/or are more well known porn actors and models. Not just for general privacy concerns, but also to avoid customs and border control enforcement. I'm posting a link below to CBP protocol for searches of electronic devices. The latest one I'm aware of is 2018. If there is a newer one, please post it. If you are American and post face pics on your ads and want to work in another country - or even take a vacation abroad - you are WAY more likely to be stopped and questioned upon your return, phone and other devices searched, and you will be interrogated and detained for many hours. Vast, constantly updated facial recognition databases gives them reason to stop you. If they find anything incriminating on your devices, they report you to state and local law enforcement. If you are not an American citizen, US customs will put a big scarlet letter on your record and deport you, banning entry for a decade or more. It wasn't a big deal 5-10 years ago when detainee search numbers were very low, but now it's more common with facial recognition automating the process. Every year the detainee numbers continue to rise in the name of "national security", when their premise for doing this is purely moral. Enforcing laws to do with sex work is outside the jurisdiction of Customs and Border Protection; however they can say ANYTHING is for "national security" and don't even need a warrant to detain you, search your devices, and interrogate you. A blip on facial recognition software for that one pic on that one ad a provider posted two years ago but then deleted a week later is enough for them to go on. There are workarounds, but it's extremely inconvenient, not to mention costly to be detained upon re-entry to the US. If you're an American citizen, the authorities have to let you back in, but only after they detain, search you and interrogate you. You are not obligated to answer any questions but they can and will coerce you and bully you as best they can, make you as uncomfortable as possible, plus confiscate and search your devices. Heaven help you if you have low blood sugar issues or anything else that could jeopardize your health while under interrogation. Anything on your devices is fair game. Anything on a cloud service or requiring internet to access from that device is technically out of bounds unless they find incriminating stuff actually on the device first. They have to return your devices, but not for many days or even weeks later, and they COPY your device digitally and maintain records of it for years unless you have nothing on it to incriminate you. If you're lucky, they don't find anything and give the device back when they release you. If you're a SW not in the know, you almost certainly have at least one incriminating item on your phone. A text, an ad link, a transaction, anything. Now that you're on a watchlist, you will be even more likely to be detained again in the future, and possibly arrested in your home jurisdiction, or at least closely watched now that you're in a local database. Meanwhile you miss connecting flights, lose work, unintentionally ghost your clients who are expecting you to show up to your previously arranged appointments...it's a f*ing NIGHTMARE. If you never travel to the US or other countries with lame sex work laws, you're fine. For many of us, that is not a practical way to live. Every provider is taking a huge risk posting face pics all over the internet, especially in the more explicit places like RentMen. And yes, they last FOREVER, long after you take down your ads or years after you exit the biz. This is one of the many reasons we charge what we do for SW. There's an embedded risk to showing our faces that the client never has to even think about but we have to deal with all the consequences if and when the sh*t hits the fan. The below protocols are intended to protect us and limit the broad power given to CBP that anywhere else in the US would be considered unconstitutional, but I hear many stories of CBP not respecting these protocols. Nobody is enforcing their own policies. CBP has virtually no accountability. You could sue, at great cost, and with great difficulty. That's about it. https://www.cbp.gov/sites/default/files/assets/documents/2018-Jan/CBP-Directive-3340-049A-Border-Search-of-Electronic-Media-Compliant.pdf

A client referred me to another massage therapist a couple weeks ago. Saw him yesterday and it was a good experience. Will share about it in the spas and masseurs section. It goes both ways! I am a client too.

I am a confident provider. I refer clients without hesitation to other masseurs and escorts in my network that I know will suit their needs. The favor comes back to me from other providers only a small fraction of the time, but I don’t care. I don’t view offering referrals as giving away business. While it supports other guys’ businesses and fosters goodwill, I refer when I can’t serve the client within their schedule limitations, or one of us is moving away, or for whatever reason I can tell I am not the best fit for the client’s needs. It’s good business to refer clients to others because I know I am offering a valuable service to my clients. They understand my value even when they are not paying me. That’s what keeps them coming back. Also, there’s the added benefit of clients seeing what else is out there and often realizing they enjoy a better value when they hire me, compared to experiences with others. Clients also refer me to their friends. In this business, as others have noted, clients discuss their hiring a lot less frequently with their contacts, often not at all. If that weren’t the case, I am positive I would have many more referral clients. The few that do refer are worth their weight in gold. I offer generous referral discounts for this reason. Good people tend to know good people. If not by direct referral, client reviews matter a lot too. Many clients hire me because they trust the feedback from other clients. The best part is all of my reviews are genuine and unsolicited. I don’t ask for them or incentivize clients in any way to write them.

Unacceptable. If he uses a streaming platform he needs to pay for an ad free subscription. It’s inexpensive and essential for this business, like oil or a table. He can write off the expense if he’s licensed. Go with masseurs who know better.

If the masseur presents himself as therapeutic and sensual only, it’s odd he’s sending you pics implying more is available. The most suspect part of it is that he is asking the CLIENT for pics before he sends his own. That’s a dead giveaway that he is willing to go further than advertised, but ONLY with the clients he finds attractive. That’s a major red flag of unprofessional behavior. A good masseur works on everyone and maintains consistent policies regardless of how the client looks. Even if the massage gets pretty erotic, he will do this with every client that wants it, not just cherry picking from clients he finds attractive. We receive a lot of requests for various pics. If we want the work, we need them ready, or to be prepared to say no and lose a potential client, even if we are very clear in our ad and private message communication that the massage doesn’t go that far. The client now knows this explicitly and yet still persists asking for pics. Seems crazy we have to play these games, but we are the ones who lose out if we don’t have or send pics upon request. Better, and clearer I think to refuse to send x pics if you truly don’t offer anything that would merit those pics and be willing to lose the work. It sends mixed messages, but he can send them anyway, be clear about the boundaries, and hope for the best. If more IS available, I see nothing wrong with sending x pics upon request. The masseur should not require pics of the client to do this. Also, he should charge accordingly when the client requests extras or services more appropriate to an escort. Take note of his rates and maintain expectations accordingly. Better yet, ask him directly: is x, y, or z included? Do you offer a, b, or c? Yes/no question format is best. Nothing will annoy a masseur faster than asking in an open ended fashion: “What is included?” Because that invites every possible act anyone could ever think of. The masseur has three choices: 1) not respond to the question 2) try to list every act ever conceived by mankind, which he won’t do 3) send a short list of what clients tend to like and that he’s willing to offer. You know what you want. Just ask for it. Each masseur has nuanced reasoning for what he chooses to send. Maybe he offers mutual touch and the client wants to see what he might be touching, even though no sexual contact meriting discussions of PrEP will actually take place. The masseur could send pics to appease the client but then the client has the impression that he can do whatever he wants with the masseur including full service for the price of a massage. That’s on the client for making dumb assumptions. But you never know. Clients tell stories of that stuff happening on these forums all the time. “I flipped over and he sat on my cock”. Those are exceptions, not the rule, and really those masseurs should be charging escort rates for that level of service. Clients, please maintain reasonable expectations and pay your guys well if they go way above and beyond without discussing higher rates beforehand. Better yet, be clear in your communication about exactly what you want, what he offers, and what he charges for it upfront. And if you do want or expect full service, be prepared to pay appropriately for those services. My rule of thumb: full service is double the massage rate. For example, here’s mine: $150/60 min massage. $300/60 min escort service. Your masseurs will vary but that gives you a rough idea of what to expect. The whole PrEP thing is another discussion. Plenty of clients are concerned with our sexual heath even if they know nothing is going to happen. They demand the info even if we are clear about the limitations of the session. Damned if we list our health practices because it sends the message that we are having sex frequently with our clients. Damned if we don’t because clients demand the info even if it’s irrelevant to what is actually happening in their session. There’s the odd paranoid client who demands “proof” like asking us to send photos of our prescriptions. I don’t see those clients because there is no satisfying them, no matter what I do. Then there’s the masseur who - surprise, surprise - escorts in addition to massage work, or - surprise surprise - advertises himself as a masseur but is actually only providing escort services. That’s fine. He should be clear in that case what is on offer and how much it costs. He may have “optional” additional services, which he should state upfront what those are, the limits, and how much (in addition to, or in lieu of his advertised massage fees). Basically don’t make assumptions based on pics or info listed or photos sent. Don’t make assumptions at all. Ask directly about things you care about and go by what he says. If he prefers not to put it in writing, ask for a brief phone call. If he asks you (the client) for pics, politely decline and look for a more professional guy. Plenty of masseurs work on all types of clients and are not concerned about the way the client looks. His service is the same regardless.

If you’re ever in SoCal, see me! It’s amazing having this done for you by an experienced masseur. That O is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced.

It is on my table! This option varies from masseur to masseur. Doesn’t hurt to ask when you aren’t sure. I’m great at prostate play 😉 Be sure you use the restroom and to clean down there. A very light douche is great if possible. That helps ensure you and your masseur are not distracted by cleanliness concerns or having to deal with an unexpected mess.

I met Newell (muscleginger) today to discuss working together. Looks like we probably will join forces for both massage and deli services. Newell is recently single and now open to providing more than he was previously. I also approached Astin about the possibility for a similar arrangement a while back. Still have to meet him and evaluate if there is mutual interest in working together for either or both services. Stay tuned. If any of you SD folks would like to see me working with others in the area, PM me and I’ll consider it. I have other connections in the works already. I plan to offer a range of collaborations with other guys in SD. Newell is sexy in person. He’s lost a good amount of weight, but he has a larger frame and build overall and there’s no getting away from that. More muscular and beefy type for sure. Bearish side if we wasn’t so smooth. Damn sexy if you ask me.

^Amen to this.

I have clients exactly like this. I have no problem providing! If they want long periods, they have to pay accordingly for it. Budget usually dictates that time limit for the client moreso than me, like an hour or two at a time. Sometimes I have to take a 5 min break when it’s an extended session. Staying hard for that long in a purely receiving position is a lot. Men love my cock though! I’m no muscle guy, so I can’t speak to traditional worship. Naturally clients are drawn to other more muscular providers for worship sessions. Sometimes me flexing gets a client going, but it’s a brief passing moment vs the focus of a session. With regard to kissing, reciprocity, and so on (if the client wants it), I have no such limitations. I imagine part of the appeal for some is a no-recip dynamic and/or the fantasy of engaging with a straight guy. To each their own.

You’re under no obligation to please the provider or cater to his preferences. This is about YOUR pleasure, not his. If he wants something from you that you normally wouldn’t be into as much, he shouldn’t be charging. At that point, it’s a hookup based on meeting mutual needs. Not to say he can’t genuinely enjoy the encounter, but I would only do things you enjoy. You’re paying. Get what YOU want - anything you discuss and agree to do beforehand or whatever he consents to doing in the moment.

Yes, I think there is plenty of room for body positivity and representation in gay porn. The content doesn’t need to appeal to a majority to be successful. There’s a market for just about everything. Good porn will sell. I don’t watch as much porn as I used to, but when I do, I enjoy relatively healthy looking everyday people. By that I don’t mean morbidly obese bodies which has its own fetish category online, but people without abs, people who don’t look perfectly symmetrical, a variety of different dick sizes…hairy, smooth, tattoos, no tattoos, all ethnicities, and different ages. Basically I like the guy next door you find somewhat attractive until he is naked on his knees sucking cock, and then he’s really appealing. Maybe for me it’s the relatively attainable that makes it so much more plausible, and therefore more real and more arousing because subconsciously I am thinking “This could actually happen”. Then again, I watch the conventionally attractive gay porn actors too because that stuff is so widely available. I also enjoy fantasizing about the unattainable, but it gets boring. I access the mainstream curated stuff because it’s so quick and easy to find without much thought. Given the choice in my better moments of more intentional consumption, I prefer well made non-studio porn with performers who don’t necessarily make the cut of the studios’ narrow, aspirational, fantasy body look standards. Amateur stuff and fan sites appeal to me because the content is more focused on the performers doing what they personally love, and working with others they enjoy. Chemistry and authenticity is way hotter to me than a chiseled feature or a well proportioned body part.

I would say no. If he wants to hook up with women, he can do that on his own time and by his own efforts. Heck, I refuse clients when they are asking me to find a third man to join us. It’s not my job and it’s way too involved for it to be worth my time, unless he was paying me by the hour for the coordination effort. I would still probably say no. When a client wants a third or more, I reach out to my existing network of collaborating providers and/or masseurs to arrange it. To be clear, the client is paying for the extra person or people to join, and I’m not spending hours on hookup apps trying to convince someone to join us for free.

^This is exactly how it works. Clients pay for the full hour even when they can only stay for a shorter time. Our hourly fees cover our overhead, which doesn’t change when we spend 20 mins vs 60 with the client. Clients do shorter sessions from time to time. We don’t discount our fees by the minute or partial hour. We’re still taking the same risks, spending the same time to coordinate and prepare for the appointment, cleaning after, and so on. None of these items get smaller when we spend less than an hour with the client. The client is paying our overhead costs, which are structured around one hour fees (or more).

I prefer to pay a local photographer for their work. That way, I have full control over the shoot, the clothing (or lack), location, props, poses, scenarios, etc. When I hire, I have either partial or full rights to use the images for commercial purposes or for “social media” and I pay extra to get full resolution size on a few of them. The photographer usually includes time behind the scenes within their base fee for minor touchups, cropping, color correction, and so on. That service has tremendous value. Also, I choose whether or not to allow the photographer to publish the images for any other purpose. That’s a big deal, at least I think so. When you pay for something, you have much more control over it. When you barter or do it for free in hopes of using the images…most, maybe all of that control goes out the window. That’s fine if saving money is more important at the time and if you don’t really care that much about the specifics of the resulting images or the scope of your rights to use them. You can get some good images for cheap or free that way, but beggars can’t be choosers. A decent photo shoot will set you back at least 3-5 hundred dollars, and hundreds more depending on how many images you want to use, what rights you retain, the resolution, and if you want any prints. My budget for a photoshoot and all the related fees is $1000. That figure will likely be higher in larger US metro areas like LA, NYC, SF, Chicago and others. A less experienced photographer will probably cost less, but you should view and be happy with their sample work before committing.

Not missing it again this year; I’m on top of it this time. Woohoo! See y’all there! I’m booked 4/12-4/15 @ INNdulge, in a pool view superior room. If the Friday pool party materializes closer to the date, count me in. I’ll be poolside, applying gallons of sunscreen, ready to chat it up. Come to think of it, I could really use some help with that sunscreen…it must be reapplied every hour or so, or else I will drive home looking like Sebastian the crab. Just sayin’ If members want to hire me over any of those days or nights, contact me. First booked, first priority policy applies. Bring $ for tips. A little fun and entertainment goes a long way in making your trip a memorable one. Your imagination is your only limitation regarding how you might spend your tips. I’m open to suggestions…