Simon Suraci

I was considering inviting a collaborating escort/masseur to stay with me in my room so he can meet you all. Seems a waste to spend thousands of dollars and be by myself in a two bed room. Should I instead keep my room open for potential private activities with attending members? Hmm 🤔

I was just thinking about this last week. My booking system offers digital gift cards. All I have to do is set it up. It’s a quick easy seamless way to gift my services to someone. I keep thinking it’s a little weird, that clients wouldn’t use it. Maybe I should reconsider setting up gift cards?

I like phone calls, as long as they are short and stick to relevant info, and I am expecting the call. I avoid the “clients” wanting free phone sex to engage their fantasies. I provide that service, but I charge for my time. Text is by far a masseur’s most preferred way to communicate. Security aside, in practical terms you can’t reasonably expect a masseur to answer an unexpected phone call at any time, from anyone, especially when that caller is not already a trusted contact. At the moment you call: 1) he may be working on a client. This is why many of us keep the ring on silent/vibrate most or all of the time. 2) he is not in a private quiet place able to talk to a client who may want to discuss explicit details, services, pricing, personal information, etc. 3) he is driving or in a situation where he can’t safely take a call, or sleeping, or busy engaging in another conversation, or many other scenarios. I’m happy to have a phone conversation, but I need the client to request a call via text or other means first so that I can give that client a block of my undivided attention in a safe private place with enough time to patiently answer all their questions. I’m not going to pick up my phone every time it rings. I have no receptionist and without a text all I have is a missed call - 95% of the time from a telemarketer or wrong number or scam - which makes me extremely unmotivated to call anyone back or even pick it up in the first place…. UNLESS the client leaves a voice message. A voice message I can work with because, like a text, it functions like a screening tool to tell me it’s a client and not the other 95% of calls I don’t want. Missed calls without a voicemail may as well go into a black hole. 🕳️ A text we will see and respond to when we are available. We can also copy and paste repetitive info like rates and service descriptions into texts. This aspect is convenient for the client to be able to reference the information later. Sometimes I have a few seconds to respond quickly to a text but not several minutes right at that moment to take a call.

We talk a lot about no-shows and ghosting and being late, both clients and providers. How often does this happen to you? 1%, 5%, 20%, 50%? Or more? I’m just curious how pervasive the problem is. Do we talk about these things because they bother us SO much (even though it only happens once in a while) or do we talk about them because they are truly that common in your hiring experiences?

It’s true. I check mine only a few times a day, or every hour when I’m really on top of things and less busy. Or more frequently when I have an active conversation going and expect more back and forth. I wish RM Messenger would send me push notifications, but it won’t no matter ho many times I put the setting to send me the notifications. Texting is best because I actually see it and respond as soon as humanly possible. Escorting is less than 50% of my work. It’s mostly massage so I pay more attention to my other platforms. A lot of my escort clients start seeing me for that service after they’ve had a massage from me and ask for more. That’s way more successful for my business than a cold call on RentMen, but I get plenty of those too.

I agree to disagree. You’re right about masseurs not necessarily being sex workers, and I appreciate that. There’s a spectrum though, and some of them are BOTH. Some ads are confusing, vague, or flat out contradictory. Take for example this masseur in in San Diego:

His response was immature and unnecessary. You deserve a professional. A professional will have realistic expectations around, any experience with, clients asking questions about erotic services. It’s ok for him to say no, and you shouldn’t knock him for that. However, if he can’t answer those questions in a respectful manner, I wouldn’t trust him to treat you well when receiving any of his services. Consider he did you a favor by showing his nature and saving you the time and cost. Asking the question upfront circumvents the uncertainty of hiring, being disappointed, potentially being called a creep for having normal human needs and desires, and then having to start the process all over again spending more time and money.

This is another strategy to receive a higher level of service than you might otherwise. Tipping demonstrates that the client is willing and able to pay and worth the extra effort and time. Keep in mind some masseurs have certain boundaries and no amount of money or frequency will coerce them into doing more than they are comfortable. BUT some guys will feel more comfortable doing more with a regular with whom they have developed a good rapports.

Best way to go about it is ask for exactly what you want and see what he says. Clients are usually too chicken to ask but that saves everyone time. That cuts through any ambiguity in the ad. Also have realistic expectations about pricing; don’t clutch your pearls when someone offers you a higher level of service for a higher rate. Be kind when he tells you what you want is not on offer. Accept that politely and move on.

Forgot to mention Essex, I like that one too.

Mine is an Aussie boy. Take me home, Siri, please take me home! And then let me go down under… Aussie pronunciation doesn’t work as well in Southern California with all the Spanish place names and streets though. He’s funny when he says “La Jolla” with a hard J. He says “Escondido” really fast and it sounds like: Escon-DILDO. 🤔 💭 🍆 If the British did a little housekeeping putting back all the “R”s where they belong, that would be great. I’ll just wait here patiently until they do, thanks. Pronouncing “R” the end of words with vowels drives me crazy. Then they omit the “R” where on paper an “R” actually ends the word. 🤦‍♂️ I do enjoy a northerner British accent. @Jamie21 What’s the accent in Wallace and Gromit? Nevermind, looked it up, it’s West Yorkshire. I was right! I like that too. I worked with a guy from Huddersfield, which I believe is in Yorkshire. Very pronounced consonants at the end of his words, especially when the word falls at the end of a sentence, as if the word is a some declaration with a big, fat period. Scottish accents are so funny. Love those too. Irish accents make my heart melt. Is it just me or is a South African accent easy to mistake with a Kiwi accent at a quick listen? Those New Zealanders have a funny way with their vowels too, love it. Sing a song in any regional accented English and it sounds American! Take Adele for, example.

Agree 👍 This is how I operate as a dom

Auditing is concerned with what you’re trying to save in taxes and/or fraud or laundering. If you can’t substantiate your write-offs, you’re in trouble. There’s nothing wrong with getting paid mostly or entirely in cash as long as you report it on the appropriate form.

Don’t waste the invite @pubic_assistance! If I had the opportunity to chat over a meal with @Coolwave35 I would jump at the chance, just to hear all the colorful stories and insights. Alas, I’m in the opposite corner of the country.

Well I have to keep those raggedy ass cheeks still attached in case I have a top client 😆

^ This 100% Danny, you’re a humblecock Urban Dictionary: Humblecock WWW.URBANDICTIONARY.COM hum-ble-cock / h^m bel kok/ n. 1 a quietly confident individual who does not brag or otherwise flaunt his...

I have a 91 year old client, a regular. Those rolling walker/trolley things are underrated. Very helpful for walking and preventing falls. It keeps you moving safely. Now if only my grandfather were not too proud to actually use his…

It’s a blumpkin. Auto correct messed it up and I didn’t catch it, sorry. And no, honestly you really don’t want to know. Google at your own peril.

I suggest we take a break and offer a shower, with the douching accoutrements if needed for our activities. It’s no big deal. I get first timers, straight guys, and less experienced men here and there. I walk them through it without shame or judgement. For those experienced but just having an issue, I suggest a break and they do their thing and we’re off to the races! Patience and understanding go a long way. I get clients once in a blue moon who prefer me to be unwashed, “ripe”, and even want some #2. One client likes to give a bumpkin. It’s tough but possible. When the client works with me on schedule in order for me to meet their needs, it works out. I don’t really understand a provider stating such a preference in a client. A good provider would not state such a preference if he had one. Maybe he means sweaty or natural smell? Even still, same logic applies. Clients have preferences, not the other way around.

Depends on the client. Some want an immediate, if not rushed, down to business approach. Others like to draw out every moment and it can be pretty erotic. I get into it either way. Honestly though I prefer the latter. Tends to happen to me with the clients I attract. I see more regulars than one and done clients. Regulars who are into it like the slow, savoring, satisfaction of unwrapping in perfect patience. Teasing, exploring, exacting every inch of one another’s gradually more naked body until we’re down to underwear and still teasing and throbbing while keeping it on, until we’re both aching and ready to move on to more explicit action. Even then, we step back from desperate intense primal urging and ravaging to some slow, sensual and relaxing moments and then dive back in again. Lots of heavy, paced buildup back and forth up to an incredibly heightened, charged climax. Sometimes more than one climax depending on how long they are hiring for. Either way, it’s great having plenty of time to recover and relax and unwind and connect on another level as humans before starting to wrap up. Or the wham, bam, thank you, man. Zip up and ship out with barely a word approach. I see the whole range. Damn, I could write cheesy pulp romance if I wanted to… oops too late. Channeling my inner Meryl Streep in She-Devil:

Yes, I concur 👍 I take this approach when I travel to other cities. Mine is more like 5x. I have no time or energy to party or goof off after working all day. A successful trip for me is jam packed every day with appointments. I keep expenses as low as possible without sacrificing aspects of the client experience. Remember, we’re paying all of our normal fixed home city expenses and ongoing life expenses that do not vary with location like insurance, rent etc PLUS all the travel and accommodation expenses. For me, expenses are more than most, to include: my half of a house mortgage, my half of a farm land mortgage AND 100% of rent on a nice, newly built centrally located 1 bedroom house dedicated for my work in the most expensive city in the country… …AND all the travel expenses on top of that when I decide to travel. My rates aren’t exactly off the charts, so I’m working my butt off when I travel, and I’m taking considerable financial risks when visiting new places.

Lips, mouth. Fellow good kissers really do it for me. Neck. No hickies, please. Hands. Scrotum. Feet. But more in a sensual way. To some extent, my ears. Be subtle. Hole. But nobody knows what the hell they’re doing down there when they rim. Like, nobody! So I don’t even bother bringing any attention to mine. When I’m the giver, on the other hand, I bring a lot of pleasure to men. A lot. Straight guys and total tops included. Many a top becomes versatile under my care. For a taste, refer to my rimming guide. My dick, but most men are lousy, lazy, unskilled cocksuckers. It’s a rare gem who can give head well enough to get me off without me mentally forcing it for the sake of a performance. It takes a lot of variety and skill to do a good job. Up and down at one pressure and speed on repeat is a recipe for boredom and desensitization. Anywhere for me is erogenous if you mix up the stimulation to include the whole body. Repeatedly stimulating only a few areas comprising - idunno, 5% or less of my body - gets boring after a short while. Curiosity, creativity, novelty, exploration, and the unexpected are erotic gold. The feel of a bald man’s head sensually touching almost anywhere on my body. Ohhh, that gives me chills. Clients past have opened this door for me. You know who you are. My nipples are dead. May as well have gangrene, be inverted, or at best feel as sensitive as the back of my knee. I play along, or at least put up with it if the idea of my nips being erogenous excites a client and he wants to play with them. I can’t force my nips to be erogenous. But I’m great with other people’s nipples. I introduced a regular to clamps recently. That was fun. I love pushing buttons and discovering which ones work, and what each one does for each client. I’m far more interested in stimulating others than them stimulating me. What are your buttons?

Aw, 😭 but I can’t fit any extremities in there…

^Haha, maybe this was a joke, but seriously the $100 price is due to scarcity since this 20+yr old book is likely out of print, only available second hand. Very few new copies would be stored in attics, basements and warehouses somewhere. First off, do not take this as tax advice from me. Consult a professional. This is just some notes from my experience. Escorts - basically nothing. Unless your business is based in rural Nevada where it’s legal, or maybe a few other jurisdictions elsewhere in the US. Others help me on this point…I know we’ve discussed where it’s legal in other threads. Since a lot of our incum (typo, but I’m leaving it!) is cash, we can pay many of our expenses tax free with cash directly or by converting cash to another payment method. You have to get creative with some purchases that otherwise would be digital only. Credit cards aren’t the answer to that problem because large sums of money flowing through your bank get flagged and may get your accounts frozen. You want to report a good chunk (if not all of your income) and pay taxes on it to prove income and not raise red flags. Paying unreported cash is the equivalent of a tax break for business expenses if you choose to use that advantage. Escort expenses are not reportable because many of us work officially on paper as “models”, “coaches”, “actors”, “entertainers/writers/etc category”. You can’t claim your sexy underwear unless it’s a costume for a specific photo shoot or film or what have you - all of which you would have to document in the case of an audit. Gym memberships, cosmetics, clothing, lube, toys, condoms, advertising online (for RentMen etc), and the like are all considered personal expenses, even if they are related to your “official” job and/or escorting. You have to prove how specifically a particular purchase was directly related to a business expense under a legal job category that aligns with the category you claim on your taxes. So no, you can claim almost nothing. …Maybe as a fans site content creator there is some more wiggle room for toys, lighting, etc but it gets murky. Consult your tax professional. Maybe your “office” and related expenses like utilities, if you have a dedicated space for your legal on paper business. Or a portion of your home if you work in the same place you live. Some escorts claim some other entirely unrelated tax code category. That’s all assuming they have done it the proper way, by registering your own business and having a dedicated business account, etc. A lot of guys, especially the youngins are not that sophisticated or knowledgeable, so they do it on the side hoping not to get caught up in legal or tax difficulties. Maybe they only report their day job income. Law enforcement may care, but the IRS doesn’t care if you escort. They just want their share of the money you willingly or unwillingly report. Fans sites report your earnings, for example and you have to pay taxes on that. Same with digital payment processors. You can report some or all of your own cash earnings - or not. Venmo and other payment processors report unusual or heavy activity if it’s not registered as a business account. It looks like business activity, so it catches up to you. That all gets reported to the IRS. You have to use a business account and report it. In the past several years the rules changed a lot so escorts who continue with the same business as usual will have a rude awakening when Uncle Sam starts asking questions and asking for his share. ___________ Masseurs can write off quite a few things if they are legally certified/licensed in their jurisdiction and claim their income under the correct IRS tax code category. License/certification requirements vary by state. California, for example, requires nothing, but individual cities in CA have requirements ranging from lax to very strict. Most states require either a certification or license to practice massage. Many masseurs are not “official” in their jurisdictions, either on the business side of things or being certified, or both. In that case, you have to report another tax category. Masseurs with everything in order can write off stuff like: equipment, supplies, space rental (or portion of home), continuing education, travel, accommodations, advertising, any regular generic business expenses from stamps to website design… lots of stuff you can write off as a masseur if you set it up the right way.

Agree 💯