Simon Suraci

^My first point to clients insisting on outcall hotel massages to persuade them to visit my studio only 10-15 mins away. Since standard American hotel rooms do not have clear space for a table and working room, a lot of times I have to say no. European hotels are even tighter. Some Mexican hotels are more spacious. Some hotel suites (anywhere) have space, but that’s way less common a client has a suite. I refuse to do bed massages primarily for this reason. It’s so hard on my body. It’s also a fraction of the quality of my regular table massages. If those reasons weren’t enough, clients can’t seem to understand or respect the boundaries between SW and massage. I’ll get on the bed with you if you pay my rates for that. I’m not offering discount SW for a client feigning he only wants a massage and insists on massage pricing and then pressures me into providing a lot more than massage in person. Most clients do very well with a properly adjusted headrest. A few of my clients insist on laying their head on their side under their arms/hands or use a pillow for whatever reasons from claustrophobia, to fear of nasal drip, to desire to look at me while face down, to bad habit. It’s terrible because their back and neck are prevented from being in a neutral position so I can’t properly massage some of their muscles, and for other muscles it’s strained at best. I can’t fold their arms down comfortably onto my arm shelf either which makes my arm massage less comprehensive, and less deep. And it’s less comfortable. One client needed a pillow for health reasons - congestive heart failure. He had to tilt up for safety. I respect that and work around it. This might send the wrong message lol! For christsake, just hire for escort service and use a bed… No. The others are either kidding themselves or killing themselves trying to give an actual good massage on a hotel bed. It’s possible, but difficult and not as good for the client as a proper table and fucks up the masseur’s body, regardless of what body type he has or his ethnicity. Nothing wrong with getting a sensual massage ‘scene’ that leads into whatever sexual ending you want, but clients please be honest with yourselves and pay your guy appropriately for what service you’re actually hiring (and expecting). When you actually want a good massage, ask for your masseur to perform it on a table. You owe it to yourself to treat yourself to quality. Don’t settle. Even erotic massages are best done on a professional table. For the lazy/cheap/uninformed/time crunched hotel visitor…plan your time ahead, and get your ass in an Uber to your masseur’s incall location. It’s better for you because you get quality. And it’s better for your masseur because he can offer better service and not kill his body. @Jamie1 I know you offer outcall floor and bed massages, but this is one of the few differences you and I have in how we are willing to work. How does it affect your body? Can you give an equally good massage this way vs a table?

I completely understand @cromagnonmale’s concerns and they’re valid. This is a whole new age of surveillance technology which enables ridiculous moral witch hunts. For me, it’s too late to “opt out” as it were by omitting or obscuring my face, and I don’t trust the for-profit surveillance companies contracted by law enforcement to respect my privacy. Since when has “please take me off your call list” stopped the calls from a specific company? So I give up and deal with it the best ways I can. I also validate the points @Ali Gator and @MikeBiDudemake. If I were on the other side of hiring, I would never even notice, much less bother to contact a provider that didn’t show a face pic or other parts of his body in which I am most interested. I get the point about the tattoos, but remember that the presence or absence and type of tattoos matters A LOT to some clients. We’ve had some pretty hot, divisive threads on that subject. Others care little, if at all, and I venture to bet that’s 50% or more, with the extremes making up the other piece of the pie. I feel it’s reasonable to share face or other photos privately with prospective clients by text or app or wherever you’re communicating. What do you think?

That tracks. Anyone familiar with MDNA knows her shows ALWAYS start late. I saw her in the mid 2010s and she started about two hours late. I agree it’s disrespectful to fans and utterly unprofessional, but that’s how she operates. Total diva.

Agree 100% with @nate_sf. This is what I do too; I only log in a few times a day at most unless I have an active chat and expecting more back and forth. So much of our client communication now is typically by text, or through other platforms with reliable push notifications or email notifications. I would use RM Messenger more frequently if I were able to get push notifications, but they don’t work no matter how many times and different ways I change the settings to allow push notifications. I get an email once in a while alerting me to a message someone sent months ago. Most of the time I get no notification at all, in any form, ever. The system is horrendously buggy and unreliable. RM Messages are fine for clients who are booking days or more in advance. At the very least 24 hrs in advance. Someone contacting me for a time only hours away might not even get my attention and response until after the time they wanted has passed. Forget about “are you available now?” messages. The only way I will see and respond to that message is if I happen to log in at exactly the time the sender sends it. I get why clients would want to use RM Messenger for initial (or all) communication and I’m fine with that. You just can’t reasonably expect a provider to constantly be logging into the RM Messenger app to check messages. Remember the days of AOL, when you would have to log in and it says “You’ve got mail!”? It’s basically that all over again but in app form. You have no way of knowing there is an urgent message unless you happen to log in. RM Messenger is not my primary mode of communication, so I am not spending all day checking for messages. 9 times out of 10 that I check, there is no message. All that checking is wasted time, so I am unmotivated to constantly keep manually checking. Clients who really want to see me get no prompt response on there and figure out they just need to text and they do. Smooth sailing from there. I wish RentMen would get their shit together and fix the messenger bugs. They spend way too much time finding ways to charge clients and advertisers more and more money and not enough time developing a good product.

+1 for Edras.

Scott and Chris are partnered. They live together in Oak Lawn and they both use their downstairs bedroom as a massage studio. Haven’t met Scott yet. He has been going to esthetician school which filled a lot of his time for a while, probably why you have seen his ad up and down. He finished earlier this year and now offers professional facials. Maybe other services, you will have to check with him. Scott gives a standard HE with his massage from what I have heard from others. Chris I highly recommend for strictly therapeutic massage. He’s the best I tried in Dallas if you truly only need therapeutic, no HE. He’s a friendly warm guy, and funny. Kade is also very good. He primarily does outcall and doesn’t charge much to travel out. Very good value overall, skilled, professional, and cute. Nice booty too! But please respect his boundaries, it’s therapeutic massage only, no MT, no mutual nude, no HE, nothing like that. The others I haven’t seen.

I saw Doug once several years ago. My impression was the massage was just ok, wouldn’t repeat. He is a nice guy, and I had pleasant experience. He allows mutual touch if I remember correctly. It’s been a while. Nothing outstanding, and nothing negative to say, just ok.

Fair enough. I hear this. Specialty or focus is a different take than simply someone offering a menu item. I want to emphasize this important difference. I’m hearing that clients perceive listing findom means the provider is unable or unwilling to separate the findom dynamic from his interactions with clients with mainstream interests. I’m hearing the perception is that a findom is only and ever a findom, and will perform for clients in no other capacity…AND that he will be aggressive about only demanding more and more $, regardless of the client’s lack of interest in findom. These assumptions are simply unfounded. Does anyone here actually have experience with findom-on-the-menu providers forcing that dynamic on mainstream interest clients? Or are these only assumptions? Were those providers advertising only that service, or other services too? Could you not simply say ‘no thanks’, and move on AFTER it becomes apparent that the provider is not the right fit for you…as you would for any other interest? I’ve considered listing findom to capture the minority who specifically seek this kink out, BUT reading this here tells me that I can’t do that because I will lose far more mainstream clients than I will gain niche clients. Clients, I am hearing, can’t (read: won’t) comprehend that it’s merely a menu item and are so viscerally afraid that findom dynamics will be ‘forced’ upon them (as if clients have no say in that matter…) that they will exclude providers because of it … even though nothing has substantiated that initial assumption. Thank you, that answers my overall question. I don’t think I am going to change anyone’s mind on the topic because the reactions here come from the amygdala, rather than the calm reasoning parts of the brain. These notes tell me no provider can list findom as a menu item without being perceived by many as a findom-only provider. That assumption is illogical, but that’s what clients perceive. It comes from a deep seated fight-or-flight fear reaction. I am perfectly capable of serving niche client interests without any spillover to my mainstream interest clients. It has no impact or reflection on my character. If anything, it shows that I am inclusive and willing to entertain a broad range of clients. However, knowing what I read here reinforces to me that I can’t advertise niche interests. It will actually hurt my business to do so. Not because I actually am whatever scary thing clients assume I am, but because clients are unable, unwilling, or too afraid to look past their own assumptions. The safest bet is to advertise broad appeal interests and only entertain niche interests when clients specifically ask for them. ^This, exactly. Some clients take a more mature approach. Unfortunately, it sounds like a lot of clients don’t, particularly when it comes to findom. ^More generally, yes, communication is key. It doesn’t really matter what a provider lists or omits. If you ask him and he says yes, there’s your answer. If he fails to communicate or does so poorly, that gives you another clue that he’s not a match for you.

Welcome! I echo many of the sentiments so far. Cheers to closing a chapter, moving on, and re-entering.

Here below is one example post for others to cross reference your point above. Providers are appealing to wide audiences. Why exclude a provider that markets to more than one subset of people? How else will clients with niche interests find the providers who can best meet their needs? Providers listing water sports, for example, doesn’t mean ws is inevitably going to come up in your sessions or that he will pressure you into doing that. It just means he is open to providing piss play to clients who want it. Maybe you just want to top or bottom or enjoy oral play. That’s totally fine. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to force you to give or receive a stream of urine. A good provider concerns himself with what YOU want and does his best to fulfill it. What he does or is open to doing with other clients is irrelevant to his session with you. I see no reason to exclude a provider that interests you and can meet your needs. He’s not going to force other client fantasies on you. It just doesn’t make sense for a provider to do that. That logic applies to findom or any other niche interest. Let’s say for some strange reason he does have a weird agenda to pressure you into watersports or [fill in the blank interest]…you’re still a grown ass adult with the capacity to say “no, thanks” and stick to the activities you requested and that he agreed to render. Worst possible scenario: he brings up some activity you’re not into, you say no, and you’re still in control. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do! What are you so afraid of? Please do explain. I don’t mean to put this question on one person btw. I know others feel the same and I would like to get to the bottom of this whole “yuk other clients’ yums” dynamic. It makes no sense to me. I want to understand where these feelings are coming from and why they are so relevant to so many clients’ hiring decisions. I want to understand why clients feel the way they do, to inform my marketing decisions. What I am hearing is that for a client like you to even consider hiring, your man must ONLY list interests on his profile that conform to YOUR specific needs - to the exclusion of ALL others. Please tell me I’m wrong. I’m pretty sure most clients are more reasonable than that, but that’s what I’m hearing here. I fail to see how one interest would be any different than another. What is it about listing findom in a profile - among many mainstream interests - that makes you immediately eliminate a provider?

$1000/(4) hrs = $250/(1) hr Confirmed, 250/hr is below the going rate for the more in demand men in LA. My understanding: LA is $300+, and a lot of them $350+. LA folks feel free to correct me. $500+/hr is still laughable in most markets, but it’s out there. Those guys typically do not derive their primary income from in-person provider work. I’m even lower: $1000/(5) hrs = $200/hr, but then again it’s all a matter of perspective on value, what your budget is, and how long you want to hire for. Some clients see an excellent value in hiring me for 4-5 hrs for that price. $200/hr is a steal when you’re prepared to hire for multiple hours. Others (more commonly) are paying me $300-$500 for just one or two hours.

Club Dallas is a bathhouse. A spa, yes, but primarily designed for m4m cruising and casual sex between attendees. The Tin Room, as rough as it is, may be one of your best bets in Dallas for interactive go-go dancers. A few other bars have go-go dancers from time to time (and may look better) but not regularly like the Tin Room. I can’t vouch for how the guys look at the Tin Room, but some of my Dallas clients go regularly and enjoy it. It’s a fun social thing for them.

Haha! On a lighter note… Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget is now available on Netflix. New chicken adventures await!

I hear you there, I agree. However, clients traveling cities, much less states, away to see a guy they like is a big ask. That’s why so many working guys travel all over the country. Clients who can’t or won’t readily travel outside their area jump at the opportunity to hire when someone who interests them visits. This is especially true for underserved markets.

I can’t speak for everyone, so I will speak for myself. I personally want and need the business, so I appreciate my clients frequenting my studio. I expect no gifts or extra favors around holidays. Having the business is enough for me. Some providers really do have more business than they can handle. Good for them. Even when that’s the case, the good ones won’t tell you that so directly. They may consider taking down their ads and only see referrals if that’s truly the case. The confrontational, rude, and impatient providers will not last long in this field. When they don’t want your business, go to those who do.

It’s buggy. Sometimes I get this behavior. Message sends but then doesn’t show up. It went through though. Closing and reopening the app helps when this happens.

Merry Christmas to all my fellow ho ho hos…and to all of you who love them!

^I have this on my website. Calendar with blackout dates. Surprisingly few clients take advantage of that feature. Some of my best clients do. ^Amen to this. It’s true. Kind of difficult to plan anything ahead in your personal life when so many clients insist on same day last minute bookings by text. I block off only a few select holidays when I know I have family things going on. Or a day to drive my mom to/from a medical procedure, or for travel (even work travel), etc. I try to keep it as open as possible for clients to see me when they want.

I’m a lot like Danny in my approach. I actually go to where I say I am going. My scouting trips are not just virtual. I go to a city to see what it’s like. Sometimes it’s better, sometimes just ok. I haven’t had a bad trip so far, and I attribute that to research on the places I go - plus a bit of luck. Then of course there are tried and true destinations I know I will be busy and have repeat business. So many clients reach out when I post travel and then want to wait to book me until I am physically there…but by then it’s too late. I may have space available in my schedule, but it’s not on the exact days and times the client wants and often they can’t make it work. Had the client booked ahead when he first contacted me two weeks prior, he could have almost any time he wanted. My days tend to fill up the day-of with whatever availability I have left going to last minute inquiries. Masseur schedules differ from escort schedules in that we can take more clients in a day. I regularly take six/day when I travel. Escort clients I would only be able to take 1-2 per day. Usually just one. Consider that limiting factor when you book an escort. The one or two spots he has on the day you want may already be full by the time he arrives.

These drugs sound like more trouble than it’s worth. And it’s not permanent. Even if you experience success without any major side effects, you still have to stay on the drug indefinitely… as soon as you stop the meds, the weight comes right back! Meanwhile your body still needs adequate nutrients every day. Not eating enough quantity and variety of the right foods poses other problems. What about good old fashioned lipo? 😛

I agree. Too much on the line for client and provider for a first meet, but these things can and do happen. I feel much more comfortable with a regular client. A new one, not so much.

Agree. If he drinks, get him a bottle of his preferred alcohol. It’s a nice gesture. If he does not drink, some of the other ideas mentioned are good. YOU DON’T NEED TO GIFT HIM ANYTHING! Your repeat business is all we want and need.

I have a Christmas Eve client this year, a regular. He was respectful, reaching out a few days before. He is a caretaker for his husband who is mentally and physically out of it and it drains him, even though he does it with love. The client getting out and enjoying some time focused on him himself is a big treat and relief from the sadness of holiday times for him. I am happy to provide.

Here is an anecdote about establishing rapports, and a timewaster. It’s a delicate line between the two. A client reached out recently starting out by saying he didn’t know what he wanted but that he wants to fly me across the country for a session (red flag #1). I asked to chat with him on the phone, but he refused, preferring to text only (red flag #2). I asked a bunch of questions over text to help him communicate his interests and needs. Fortunately we arrived at some activities he was interested in. I had to tease it out of him. Frustrating, but sometimes it takes a bit of nudging to get the client to open up about what they want. They aren’t always comfortable saying what they want or confident about what they want. I don’t mind that necessarily, it’s just more time and effort on my part. At least he did open up. To save time, I told him upfront what my fees are and that he would need to pay for my travel costs if he were interested in hiring me to visit him. I gave him a rough estimate saying if he was serious about proceeding that I would research and quote him for the dates he wants. He was all good with that saying he was willing to spend up to $X,XXX. My estimate was slightly under that figure. All good. Point for the client. We text chatted in the following days about general things outside of hiring like our pets and home life. It takes time but it’s all rapports building and investment with the expectation that the relationship building pays off. Then he started wanting to discuss his fantasies in a back and forth sexting style exchange (red flag #3). I redirected saying we can discuss his interests and needs to get on the same page, but he would need to save his fantasy time for the session unless he wants to engage me for sexting service. He backed off from the sexting dynamic and was respectful of my time. Another point for the client. We discussed some dates and that he would like to host me at a hotel and he said he would get back to me with his schedule and we would discuss. Great. Seeing some of the red flags but being hopeful that he was showing promise by respecting my boundaries, I decided to give him the following requirements to save us both time: 1) a phone call to confirm he is a real person and 2) a $50 deposit before we book travel, to demonstrate he is serious about following through. He balked at the deposit. Fair enough. Those of you that know me know I don’t charge deposits for local appointments or when I am on the road. I avoid charging them because I know many clients will never hire when a deposit - of any amount - is required. I respect that. I make exceptions to the deposit rule, however when someone wants to fly me across the country, considering the significant amount of risk involved. It’s not as big of a deal when someone no-shows at my home studio location. Annoying and disrespectful, yes. A loss, however small, yes. But when they no show when I fly across the country specifically to meet them, that’s a different story entirely. For a client I’ve never met before who is giving me some red flags, I felt it was perfectly reasonable to ask for a phone call and charge a very small nominal deposit to test if he is serious. It’s less about the amount and more about him demonstrating that he is serious. He wasn’t. Thank god. That saved me any more wasted time and the prospect of more loss involved with flying to another city only to be stood up. When you’re reaching out to a provider, whether it be for something nearby and soon, or far away weeks in advance, you want to make sure you cover these points in your approach, the sooner the better: 1) Clearly communicate your needs. 2) Discuss the major logistical constraints like schedule and location, and any travel, if applicable. 3) Establish and agree to the costs (or at least a general range) the client is willing to pay for certain services over a certain period of time. This should be sooner rather than later. 4) You may have some rapport building and back and forth, which is fine, but at some point you need to agree to a day and time to meet at the location you established. Maybe that’s at your hotel which you haven’t booked yet, but that’s fine as long as you set up the general location like a neighborhood. Spare the provider your sexting. He will indulge your fantasy in the session. It’s ok to engage in some relationship building, but invest in it to build up to a better session and to establish trust, not to sap the provider’s time or to meet your loneliness needs outside the session. Keep it to a reasonable amount. Don’t demand lots and lots of time, and all will be good.