Simon Suraci

I tried setting an auto reply on RentMen Messenger a while back. I didn’t like it. It’s impersonal and off putting. RentMen Messenger is very buggy and I can’t get push notifications to work no matter how many times I turn the appropriate settings to “on”. Sometimes it shows the red dot indicating a new message if I happened to be online within a few minutes before the new message came through. Most of the time no alert at all. Then sometimes I get random email alerts about a message from weeks or months ago (that I already saw and responded to). It’s strange. I prefer texting 1000% because the chances I will see and respond in a timely manner are much, much higher. I understand many clients prefer to start communicating on RentMen Messenger, and they have their good reasons for doing so. It’s just annoying for me. But I do check it a few times a day, and more frequently if I have an active conversation going.

I’ve had clients like this before. One was just seeing me for massage. He was trembling and stiff when I first met him in my building lobby. He could barely speak. After a few minutes I put him at ease, he opened up, and we had a great session. He had only had one m4m encounter in his life (decades before) and was very nervous. My clients tell me I have an uncanny ability of putting them at ease. It’s one of the many things a good provider must do well to be successful.

Only if you do it all or most of the time. Using a condom for a minority of clients only slightly reduces your overall risk.

This varies widely. If a client wants prostate stimulation and ass play, I always recommend some cleaning beforehand; at least a shower, and if possible, a light douche. Agree, I don’t shame anyone for whatever is going on with their butt. If the client wants to bottom, I insist they prepare beforehand. I have all the equipment clean, sanitized, and available for anyone that wants to use it in studio. It’s no big deal to take breaks for this as needed. I understand some clients won’t have access to equipment at home, or may be coming from work or what have you. It’s handy to have everything ready in studio.

@NyGold yes, it’s for my health, to reduce (even slightly) the amount of exposure. Most of the time for me it’s bb. I test for STIs monthly, and for HIV quarterly. True, the culture outside of hiring has been going toward bb for a very long time. Basically more and more since 2012 and the widespread availability of PrEP.

I wear condoms upon request. It seems clients generally fall into two camps: no penetrative anal sex (and no condoms) during their session…or anything goes. Sometimes a client wants penetration with a condom and that’s fine with me. It’s more difficult as I’ve shared elsewhere, but I make it work. Speaking from a mostly top provider perspective, I provide my own condoms so I can wear what I know is comfortable for me: Magnums. They taper down toward the base to keep the latex more securely in place, but the whole thing is larger overall so as to not constrict me. The shape and size better accommodates my large head than a standard condom. Nothing kills the mood more than a limp noodle. It’s a piece of latex literally crushing my erection, forcing the blood out of it, all while reducing the sensation, reducing physical contact, and providing a distraction and more reasons for performance anxiety. As if trying to get and maintain a boner for a client wasn’t already difficult enough. That’s why I insist on using my preferred condoms. BUT I put one on when asked and make it seem effortless. That’s what a good pro does. If you can’t or are not willing to work that way, best to make that clear up front on your ads or in communication ahead of time. For versatile and top clients, I actually prefer condoms and like it when they use them, but I offer bare too. Most like and request bareback play, regardless of position preferences. It seems that’s the direction the industry is going.

I don’t. A client can hire anyway. More power to him if he does. For many clients, the experience would deter them from hiring that particular provider. It’s a gut punch to the client ego even if it’s not intended that way. Being turned down on the “for free” market might make hiring a less pleasurable experience. Maybe it has no impact on certain people. I bet for most it would at least discourage them from hiring that particular provider. Would anyone here hire the provider anyway after being rejected on a dating/hookup app? Honestly, would you?

I recommend ignoring known providers if you see them around on apps, especially if you’ve already hired them in the past. Neither the provider nor the client likes having that awkward conversation. Some providers may not mention anything about their work in their profile. Depending on which app, they may be forced to use only hints or coded language to avoid being flagged. If he is using the apps strictly for provider work, he will probably make that clear quickly into a chat conversation regardless of how forthcoming the profile is. If he doesn’t, then may the force be with you. Grab a shot of liquid courage and proceed carefully. If you’ve never hired the provider before, feel free to shoot your shot. However, the best thing you can do for yourself (and him) is to hire instead. When you hire, you are his priority. He is less likely to flake on you and motivated to show you the best time that he can. You’re probably into him in large part because he’s attractive. So is everyone else. If you think you’re more attractive or compelling than the vast majority of guys contacting him for a freebie, more power to you, but more often than not you will be disappointed. Even if you are more on the conventionally attractive side, maybe it still won’t work. You never know. People are into different types. It’s just a game of how likely any one guy is going to be into you specifically. Even if you are appealing to him, there’s always a “better offer” out there for freebies. Compensation changes everything. Let’s say you go for it and it doesn’t work out. Then you have the double whammy of making any possibility of hiring him in the future an awkward proposition. In the likely case of failing to finagle a freebie, you kill your chances of having a normal hiring relationship with him. The fastest, easiest, best way to get exactly what you want is to hire!!! Adam4Adam works well for me because it allows us to post “pro” profiles specifically designed for those offering some kind of service. You can filter using that search criteria and that helps more quickly connect those looking with those offering. I only use A4A for work and I get quite a few clients that way. I get the occasional hopeful dope who doesn’t bother to read the profile or notice “pro” plastered all over it. I send a kind reply to clarify and that solves the problem tout de suite.

Mostly just here on CoM. Sometimes with other providers, typically for mutual safety and expediency. Clients ask me a lot but I keep things general. Nothing that would identify someone or compromise anyone. I share a little with clients who ask, mostly to describe what is possible. It gives them ideas, inspiration, and entertainment they’re hiring me to provide, in the same way I would tell a bemusing anecdote about some other part of my life. Outside of that, zilch. Even my partner doesn’t want to know. We’re working on that. Not that I feel the need to share every lurid detail, but seems we have a ways to go feeling more mutually comfortable and open about my work. He knows of course, but it’s tough being in a relationship with a provider. He struggles with it. For us, it’s a journey. This work pays the bills I can’t otherwise afford to pay if I stayed 100% in my first career as an architect. We’re building our farm and life together, and that makes us happy. I’m thankful I can do what I do and that clients find value in it. The work makes the rest of my life possible. We don’t like to dwell on all the men (and occasional women) I see. It’s emotionally exhausting and I get that, so I let it go. We discuss it when he asks.

Sure, he could request the client send an Uber. Seems like most guys would want to be fully in control of their own transportation and charge the client a fee to cover the rideshare, or their own gas and maintenance or what have you. Not to mention the extra time to/from and setup/takedown time. At least that’s my approach. A masseur who does not have transportation and is still willing to do outcalls is a red flag for me. It reflects poorly on him. If he can’t travel independently, he shouldn’t be offering outcall service. There’s nothing wrong with doing incalls only. For a legitimate massage service, I don’t think transportation should be the client’s responsibility unless it’s for the client to get to the masseur for incall service. If your masseur offers outcalls, he should have his own transportation and bring a table. If he’s bringing a table, it’s a little weird and dicey fitting that in anything smaller than an SUV. It’s possible with a large enough car…just unusual. Travel tables are compact and easier to get in a car. I’ve used them. Trouble is, they suck. Works in a pinch, but definitely makes for a suboptimal client experience. If your masseur is coming without equipment, odds are it’s an escort service advertised as “massage”. A very rare few are actually good at using a bed, the floor, futon, mat, etc. Sometimes you have to go that route for a client that exceeds table weight limits and/or has mobility issues. Even then, I still struggle but get through it. Aside from those few special circumstances almost always a non-table massage is not going to be very good. OR it’s good, but not truly a proper massage - rather an escort service. Nothing wrong with that, I just think we should call something what it is and charge accordingly. It’s more common for a client to send a rideshare for an escort. A client sent me an Uber a while back. That was for an escort service in a downtown area and I was also in that downtown area, but way too far to walk. Parking close by his five star hotel would have cost at least as much as the Uber. The other options are pay for my own valet service $$$ or else park somewhat closer and still have to walk a long way. He sent me a rideshare to speed up the process.

Maybe I’m crazy. I visited New Orleans earlier this year for a few days during Mardi Gras. I stayed in the French Quarter on Chartes Street. In the evenings, I walked out of my AirBnB wearing nothing but a jockstrap and tennis shoes. I milled around on Bourbon St between Lestat’s and the other end. As you can imagine, I earned a bunch of beads! The drunk straight women were the most obnoxious out of anyone. They kept demanding I show them my hole lol. I declined, saying I’m already showing far more than most people. I took pictures with strangers requesting photos. It was fun. I spent the rest of the time in normal street clothes. In my shoe I kept my ID and at most $20 in cash, often no $ at all. No room key since it was a keypad. I felt safe. I drank a little, but not even close to getting drunk. Made sure to eat as much as I drank and went long periods drinking only water. Quite a trip. I would go back. Next time to do more sightseeing, probably NOT during a festival. And then probably another time just for Southern Decadence. As always, if you exercise an abundance of caution and stick to touristy areas, you should be fine. NOLA and Louisiana in general are no insular, homogeneous middle class suburb in the middle of the country. Treat it with common sense as such.

Thanks for being honest. Some clients are just like you but they are not very self aware and lack the effort to plan around their own nature. It takes effort to plan in some extra time to overcome your challenges, but that is the right thing to do. Same goes for providers.

Diversity is a good thing. If we all had tattoos or none of us did, that would be boring. Personally, I don’t really care that much about whether other people get inked. Face tattoos are particularly distracting, but still really not a big deal. One client had a Medusa on his back and the eyes kept following me as I massaged him. Like Moira Rose in the giant family portrait. Super creepy! I just look away and continue my work. Another client got a tattoo without his consent. His friends got him passed out drunk one night and got him a tattoo on his butt. It’s a rubber duck. So random. Funny in a moment, but here we are, he and I, talking about it decades later. If that were me, I’d be pissed and pursue legal action against my “friends” right after it happened. It’s so wrong for them to do that without his consent. For myself, I refuse to apply any permanent body art. It may seem fine in the moment or even a few years later, but fashions change, trends shift, and ink fades and blurs, not to mention gravity takes a toll. I know in 5, 10, or 30 years from now I probably won’t like the way it looks on my body. It will also probably mean something different to me then than it does now. The worst part is you can’t remove it very easily. It takes many treatments to remove a problematic piece. I remember my stepdad had one of his high school sweetheart emblazoned on his bicep. He hasn’t been with her in decades and tried removing it but never could get rid of it completely. What an unfortunate thing to carry around for the rest of your life. Aside - sometimes you can successfully ink over old tattoos or incorporate them into new designs. Often easier than removal. I don’t want what I like and feel in a moment to permanently mark and define my body, and by extension me…especially if what I do for a living requires me to show off my body in some way or another. I’m a simple guy next door type. NOT having tattoos is part of my image and brand. That appeals to some, and I lean into it. It’s hard to find men my age or younger that don’t have any ink, so continuing life without it is actually working in my favor. Plus it fits more closely with who I am. No jewelry, no modifications, no adornment. Just me being confident and comfortable in my own skin. That’s sexy. More power to the inked guys. You’re sexy too, and I like the look on many of you. It’s just not for me.

Agree with @sincitymix and I know many other forum members feel similarly. Wrapped or not, you do what you gotta do for any client that hires you. Still, going bare helps a lot, at least for me. As a top, which is the case the majority of the time, I prefer it. And that’s not a function of client attractiveness. It helps with any client, no matter what they look like. The mechanics are just easier, especially when you’re initially entering your bottom client. Aside - rimming helps a lot to prepare your bottom client to take it well (read my rimming guide 😍) Going bare makes a big difference for me being able to perform at my best. Even if the client is hot, it still helps. The majority of clients are conventionally unattractive, and that’s just how this business works. That’s not important though. The person and the connection matter the most. Anything to make the mechanics easier make it easier, in turn, to focus on connecting with the client.

I’m happy to answer any questions. I’m posting a related thread below. It has more commentary for someone considering entering the biz. This is no easy job being a masseur or sw. Each have positives and negatives. The number one thing is time. Most people don’t realize how much time it takes outside of the time you spend in person with your clients. That, and a high level of emotional maturity. Looks only get you so far. Sure, that gets you booked, but the connection is what really matters to clients, especially on the sw end of the spectrum. Regular clients need to feel comfortable on an emotional and personal level, as well as being satisfied physically. It’s not that different in principle for massage, although the primary service you’re providing is different. Massage takes skill to succeed. Even if you’re not formally trained, you can make it, but you need experience and talent to do well. Don’t brush past this. Guys giving unskilled massages are a dime a dozen and eventually exit the industry, usually pretty quickly, or otherwise supplement with fans sites or other work. You can’t fake it for long, or else you’ll survive on being a sw who merely “advertises” as a masseur. Massage rates are lower. You have to work on more clients for more hours of the day to make the same, and charging sw rates for massage gains you no respect in the industry, as many other forum threads will confirm. For many, massage is more sustainable and less demanding than being a sw. Depends on the person, I guess. Clients want to know directly what you’re really offering either way, and if you can meet their needs. I suggest picking a lane to start. If you don’t have decent massage skills on day one, I would stick to escorting. You can learn massage skills in time and eventually charge once you’re ready. A large, saturated market like LA may prove difficult. With some dedication, patience, and good marketing, including good photos, you can build up slowly.

A personal referral from someone you know is always best in my book, on either side of hiring. I refer my clients to other guys from time to time, especially during and after my recent move when my devoted regulars were having a hard time with my departure out of state. Most of those referrals have worked out and the masseurs I know appreciate the business. Good people tend to know good people.

Seems the larger cities are over saturated and the small(er) cities are underserved. No, it’s not just Austin. A lot of regional markets have changed quite a bit the past couple years coming out of the height of the pandemic. Any other larger or smaller metro areas seeing a lack of supply of quality masseurs relative to a few years ago? It will be a while, but I will visit TX sometime next year and Austin is definitely on my list!

My clients book me online. No credit card required, no cancellation fees. It’s automatic and it sends all the information in a confirmation email. It’s possible to pay online with a cc but I prefer my clients pay in person after the service, even if they want to use a cc. There are slightly lower payment processing fees that way and it puts them at ease. Most clients prefer booking by text. They often have some questions which I’m happy to answer. I manually book them into my online system once they confirm services and time. Same as if they did it themselves.

It’s tough. I don’t like turning down work. I’m getting better about boundaries in my schedule. I have to be rested enough to provide good service, and I need to have a personal life to make any of the work worthwhile. It’s much easier for me to turn down a client now because I know that if I have no boundaries we are both worse off. I make enough during the vast majority of the time that I AM available. I’m open all day, every day of the week, and I flex my schedule frequently to accommodate good clients. It’s ok to take time off here and there when I need it. It’s ok to have boundaries. I’m better off and the clients I do take are better off because of it. Having too much business is a great problem to have, but not at the expense of my life outside my work. If anything, I work too much, and I’m trying to change that. Sometimes a client is already booked and I can’t take a second client at the same time as the first. Tough luck. And no, I don’t cancel when I have a “better offer”. My policy is first booked, first priority. If a client is worth his salt, he will contact me again, maybe even with some notice the next time and that’s the client I want. The client who has zero flexibility, only inquires last minute, and demands I be on call for him is the client I feel no sorrow for missing. I’d rather have the better, more considerate client. The more considerate client and I have a more reciprocal relationship based on mutual respect.

A lot of them are bad at marketing themselves. A photo session, including full resolution images and rights to use them for commercial purposes can cost $500-1000+ depending on who you hire and what package you get. It’s expensive. However, I see professional photos as a wise investment because the bulk of our clients hire primarily (even exclusively) based on their impressions of the masseur photos. The returns far outweigh the costs. I’m overdue for an updated photo shoot. Will do one soon.

Ayden hired me for a massage when traveling through Dallas and asked to borrow a table. I didn’t have one, so Tristan, another local Dallas masseur, loaned him one. We traded massage instead. Ayden needed a partner for a 4-hand massage client and I joined him for that a couple days later. We went out for dinner and drinks afterward. If anyone has more questions, PM me. Confirmed, he’s shorter, and has a voice on the higher end. I don’t see that as a negative, just an observation confirming what others say, although I wouldn’t describe him as effeminate. Pics are outdated. Expect someone slightly older and less in shape than the photos suggest, however he still looks good. You’re not hiring him for escort service, so evaluate him accordingly. Socially, he likes to talk and bounces around a lot. He speaks pretty quickly so I occasionally miss a word or phrase. He’s friendly and nice, if not slightly socially awkward, but nothing extreme. I like him, personally. Confirmed, he doesn’t like clients touching him below the belt. He’s modestly hung. If I remember right he’s Puerto Rican. Stereotypes are exactly that - just stereotypes. He doesn’t do much in the way of extras. He focuses on therapeutic work. In his personal life he’s into twink tops. YMMV. Reasonable pricing for therapeutic work. Ayden likes to use a massage gun to warm up. I personally don’t like massage guns because the way I see it you’re paying for someone to skillfully use their body. I can get a machine to do what a gun does if I really wanted that. It’s not all bad and many clients enjoy massage guns, so it’s not necessarily a negative. Just be aware that more than likely a massage gun will take up some of your time on the table. Some clients will enjoy his work. I’m really picky so I won’t be super critical here. Ayden gives a decent massage. If you want therapeutic work, he offers a good value. If you want him to venture deep into extras territory for the price of a therapeutic massage, he’s not the guy for you.

Thanks for the contribution @BeefyDude. Traveling guys are all a little bit different. I agree the pricing should be as transparent as possible, but if they are at least quoting you upfront when you inquire, that should be ok. Traveling has many costs. Fuel, transportation and accommodations are the big ones, but also the time it takes to travel between cities. For example I had a four city tour last month and was driving all day between each city, and two days for the first stretch. That’s at least 6 days for that tour and those are whole days I am spending considerable $ but not making anything. In addition to travel costs you’re still paying for all your normal expenses at home like rent/mortgage, utilities, maintenance, etc. We have to charge what makes sense to cover ALL of that AND make a profit above and beyond what we normally make in order for it to make sense to travel. Otherwise, we’re busting our butts and going way out of our way for the same or less as we would get working out of our home cities. Has to make economic sense! For my last trip, I tallied my total income minus expenses and it was higher than my average monthly income but not by a huge margin. It basically bought me a week off which I sorely needed after working so hard hustling for 3-4 weeks…and I used that week to move out of state to California, which was not exactly a vacation lol. Frankly I’m not surprised other guys might charge a bit more when they travel. Opportunity is high, but so are the costs. Ads are a lot to manage when you’re going on a trip. I have at least five different ads plus my personal website. I’m not going to update rates on all of them and then change them right back 1, 2, or 4 weeks later. Meanwhile confusing my home city clients who view my ads at all times whether I am away or at home. I update my travel plans on ads that offer that feature, but not the other stuff. I don’t change my rates when I travel. The main benefit is that I’m booked back to back every hour of every day when I am in another city. I charge the same but do more volume than I do on an average day in my home city. It’s quite exhausting working 13+ hour days one after the other after the other, but it can be great for a short stretch. Some guys change what they charge to cover travel expenses and/or adjust for a different market, whether that be higher or lower pricing. I can’t replicate my incall experience when I travel but I get as close to it as possible. I’m in the minority in that regard. I refuse to book hotel rooms because they are so impersonal and almost always lack the space I need to set up a table and move around it freely. I refuse to give crappy bed massages. I need a table to provide a proper massage. And I’m not paying for a suite $$$. So…I rent AirBnBs and set up in a manner as close as possible to my home setup. I bring a towel warmer, stone heater, extra large table, all my own linens, aromatherapy, products, speakers, waters, cleaning and laundry stuff, and everything you could think of. And I have access to a washer and dryer. I can’t understand how the hotel guys do it. If you’re giving multiple massages per day, that means you’re re-using dirty linens! If you ask me, you’re getting a killer deal considering my prices are the same and yet I’m doing a lot more and spending a lot more to make an excellent massage experience available to a client in another city. If a masseur quotes you something a little bit more when he’s traveling, have some grace. If it’s too much, decline and move on. It shouldn’t be outrageous. A nominal upcharge is not that crazy, especially if the masseur’s regular rates are reasonable to begin with AND he delivers a high quality experience. If he’s charging 200+ for “massage only” I have no pity. If he’s charging 120-160 or possibly less (per hour), I find that pretty reasonable. My pair of pennies.

Thanks for your comment. I’ve had it in my list for many years thinking I might like it as much as I did The Persian Boy, by Mary Renault, due to the ancient historical context and subject matters. I might still read it one day, just placing it further down my already long list.

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Looking at your radius around downtown, you might also try Tristan or Chris. Each of them is more of a therapeutic focus. Here’s a list I put together in another thread: