Simon Suraci

Unacceptable. If he uses a streaming platform he needs to pay for an ad free subscription. It’s inexpensive and essential for this business, like oil or a table. He can write off the expense if he’s licensed. Go with masseurs who know better.

If the masseur presents himself as therapeutic and sensual only, it’s odd he’s sending you pics implying more is available. The most suspect part of it is that he is asking the CLIENT for pics before he sends his own. That’s a dead giveaway that he is willing to go further than advertised, but ONLY with the clients he finds attractive. That’s a major red flag of unprofessional behavior. A good masseur works on everyone and maintains consistent policies regardless of how the client looks. Even if the massage gets pretty erotic, he will do this with every client that wants it, not just cherry picking from clients he finds attractive. We receive a lot of requests for various pics. If we want the work, we need them ready, or to be prepared to say no and lose a potential client, even if we are very clear in our ad and private message communication that the massage doesn’t go that far. The client now knows this explicitly and yet still persists asking for pics. Seems crazy we have to play these games, but we are the ones who lose out if we don’t have or send pics upon request. Better, and clearer I think to refuse to send x pics if you truly don’t offer anything that would merit those pics and be willing to lose the work. It sends mixed messages, but he can send them anyway, be clear about the boundaries, and hope for the best. If more IS available, I see nothing wrong with sending x pics upon request. The masseur should not require pics of the client to do this. Also, he should charge accordingly when the client requests extras or services more appropriate to an escort. Take note of his rates and maintain expectations accordingly. Better yet, ask him directly: is x, y, or z included? Do you offer a, b, or c? Yes/no question format is best. Nothing will annoy a masseur faster than asking in an open ended fashion: “What is included?” Because that invites every possible act anyone could ever think of. The masseur has three choices: 1) not respond to the question 2) try to list every act ever conceived by mankind, which he won’t do 3) send a short list of what clients tend to like and that he’s willing to offer. You know what you want. Just ask for it. Each masseur has nuanced reasoning for what he chooses to send. Maybe he offers mutual touch and the client wants to see what he might be touching, even though no sexual contact meriting discussions of PrEP will actually take place. The masseur could send pics to appease the client but then the client has the impression that he can do whatever he wants with the masseur including full service for the price of a massage. That’s on the client for making dumb assumptions. But you never know. Clients tell stories of that stuff happening on these forums all the time. “I flipped over and he sat on my cock”. Those are exceptions, not the rule, and really those masseurs should be charging escort rates for that level of service. Clients, please maintain reasonable expectations and pay your guys well if they go way above and beyond without discussing higher rates beforehand. Better yet, be clear in your communication about exactly what you want, what he offers, and what he charges for it upfront. And if you do want or expect full service, be prepared to pay appropriately for those services. My rule of thumb: full service is double the massage rate. For example, here’s mine: $150/60 min massage. $300/60 min escort service. Your masseurs will vary but that gives you a rough idea of what to expect. The whole PrEP thing is another discussion. Plenty of clients are concerned with our sexual heath even if they know nothing is going to happen. They demand the info even if we are clear about the limitations of the session. Damned if we list our health practices because it sends the message that we are having sex frequently with our clients. Damned if we don’t because clients demand the info even if it’s irrelevant to what is actually happening in their session. There’s the odd paranoid client who demands “proof” like asking us to send photos of our prescriptions. I don’t see those clients because there is no satisfying them, no matter what I do. Then there’s the masseur who - surprise, surprise - escorts in addition to massage work, or - surprise surprise - advertises himself as a masseur but is actually only providing escort services. That’s fine. He should be clear in that case what is on offer and how much it costs. He may have “optional” additional services, which he should state upfront what those are, the limits, and how much (in addition to, or in lieu of his advertised massage fees). Basically don’t make assumptions based on pics or info listed or photos sent. Don’t make assumptions at all. Ask directly about things you care about and go by what he says. If he prefers not to put it in writing, ask for a brief phone call. If he asks you (the client) for pics, politely decline and look for a more professional guy. Plenty of masseurs work on all types of clients and are not concerned about the way the client looks. His service is the same regardless.

If you’re ever in SoCal, see me! It’s amazing having this done for you by an experienced masseur. That O is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced.

It is on my table! This option varies from masseur to masseur. Doesn’t hurt to ask when you aren’t sure. I’m great at prostate play 😉 Be sure you use the restroom and to clean down there. A very light douche is great if possible. That helps ensure you and your masseur are not distracted by cleanliness concerns or having to deal with an unexpected mess.

I met Newell (muscleginger) today to discuss working together. Looks like we probably will join forces for both massage and deli services. Newell is recently single and now open to providing more than he was previously. I also approached Astin about the possibility for a similar arrangement a while back. Still have to meet him and evaluate if there is mutual interest in working together for either or both services. Stay tuned. If any of you SD folks would like to see me working with others in the area, PM me and I’ll consider it. I have other connections in the works already. I plan to offer a range of collaborations with other guys in SD. Newell is sexy in person. He’s lost a good amount of weight, but he has a larger frame and build overall and there’s no getting away from that. More muscular and beefy type for sure. Bearish side if we wasn’t so smooth. Damn sexy if you ask me.

^Amen to this.

I have clients exactly like this. I have no problem providing! If they want long periods, they have to pay accordingly for it. Budget usually dictates that time limit for the client moreso than me, like an hour or two at a time. Sometimes I have to take a 5 min break when it’s an extended session. Staying hard for that long in a purely receiving position is a lot. Men love my cock though! I’m no muscle guy, so I can’t speak to traditional worship. Naturally clients are drawn to other more muscular providers for worship sessions. Sometimes me flexing gets a client going, but it’s a brief passing moment vs the focus of a session. With regard to kissing, reciprocity, and so on (if the client wants it), I have no such limitations. I imagine part of the appeal for some is a no-recip dynamic and/or the fantasy of engaging with a straight guy. To each their own.

You’re under no obligation to please the provider or cater to his preferences. This is about YOUR pleasure, not his. If he wants something from you that you normally wouldn’t be into as much, he shouldn’t be charging. At that point, it’s a hookup based on meeting mutual needs. Not to say he can’t genuinely enjoy the encounter, but I would only do things you enjoy. You’re paying. Get what YOU want - anything you discuss and agree to do beforehand or whatever he consents to doing in the moment.

Yes, I think there is plenty of room for body positivity and representation in gay porn. The content doesn’t need to appeal to a majority to be successful. There’s a market for just about everything. Good porn will sell. I don’t watch as much porn as I used to, but when I do, I enjoy relatively healthy looking everyday people. By that I don’t mean morbidly obese bodies which has its own fetish category online, but people without abs, people who don’t look perfectly symmetrical, a variety of different dick sizes…hairy, smooth, tattoos, no tattoos, all ethnicities, and different ages. Basically I like the guy next door you find somewhat attractive until he is naked on his knees sucking cock, and then he’s really appealing. Maybe for me it’s the relatively attainable that makes it so much more plausible, and therefore more real and more arousing because subconsciously I am thinking “This could actually happen”. Then again, I watch the conventionally attractive gay porn actors too because that stuff is so widely available. I also enjoy fantasizing about the unattainable, but it gets boring. I access the mainstream curated stuff because it’s so quick and easy to find without much thought. Given the choice in my better moments of more intentional consumption, I prefer well made non-studio porn with performers who don’t necessarily make the cut of the studios’ narrow, aspirational, fantasy body look standards. Amateur stuff and fan sites appeal to me because the content is more focused on the performers doing what they personally love, and working with others they enjoy. Chemistry and authenticity is way hotter to me than a chiseled feature or a well proportioned body part.

I would say no. If he wants to hook up with women, he can do that on his own time and by his own efforts. Heck, I refuse clients when they are asking me to find a third man to join us. It’s not my job and it’s way too involved for it to be worth my time, unless he was paying me by the hour for the coordination effort. I would still probably say no. When a client wants a third or more, I reach out to my existing network of collaborating providers and/or masseurs to arrange it. To be clear, the client is paying for the extra person or people to join, and I’m not spending hours on hookup apps trying to convince someone to join us for free.

^This is exactly how it works. Clients pay for the full hour even when they can only stay for a shorter time. Our hourly fees cover our overhead, which doesn’t change when we spend 20 mins vs 60 with the client. Clients do shorter sessions from time to time. We don’t discount our fees by the minute or partial hour. We’re still taking the same risks, spending the same time to coordinate and prepare for the appointment, cleaning after, and so on. None of these items get smaller when we spend less than an hour with the client. The client is paying our overhead costs, which are structured around one hour fees (or more).

I prefer to pay a local photographer for their work. That way, I have full control over the shoot, the clothing (or lack), location, props, poses, scenarios, etc. When I hire, I have either partial or full rights to use the images for commercial purposes or for “social media” and I pay extra to get full resolution size on a few of them. The photographer usually includes time behind the scenes within their base fee for minor touchups, cropping, color correction, and so on. That service has tremendous value. Also, I choose whether or not to allow the photographer to publish the images for any other purpose. That’s a big deal, at least I think so. When you pay for something, you have much more control over it. When you barter or do it for free in hopes of using the images…most, maybe all of that control goes out the window. That’s fine if saving money is more important at the time and if you don’t really care that much about the specifics of the resulting images or the scope of your rights to use them. You can get some good images for cheap or free that way, but beggars can’t be choosers. A decent photo shoot will set you back at least 3-5 hundred dollars, and hundreds more depending on how many images you want to use, what rights you retain, the resolution, and if you want any prints. My budget for a photoshoot and all the related fees is $1000. That figure will likely be higher in larger US metro areas like LA, NYC, SF, Chicago and others. A less experienced photographer will probably cost less, but you should view and be happy with their sample work before committing.

Not missing it again this year; I’m on top of it this time. Woohoo! See y’all there! I’m booked 4/12-4/15 @ INNdulge, in a pool view superior room. If the Friday pool party materializes closer to the date, count me in. I’ll be poolside, applying gallons of sunscreen, ready to chat it up. Come to think of it, I could really use some help with that sunscreen…it must be reapplied every hour or so, or else I will drive home looking like Sebastian the crab. Just sayin’ If members want to hire me over any of those days or nights, contact me. First booked, first priority policy applies. Bring $ for tips. A little fun and entertainment goes a long way in making your trip a memorable one. Your imagination is your only limitation regarding how you might spend your tips. I’m open to suggestions…

I thought my job was safe from AI…

Let’s say the OP was, in fact, ignoring or avoiding the provider due to shame, embarrassment, privacy, discretion, awkwardness, or any other understandable reason. Any provider with such a thin skin reacting this way really shouldn’t be doing this work. An experienced good provider can handle these situations with a healthy amount of tact and diplomacy. There are way worse scenarios in the course of regular business in the normal context that would throw him into an emotional tailspin. If you can’t handle yourself with some level of maturity and grace, you won’t last long. I agree with the other comments.

It did, actually. I surprise myself. Alliteration is fun.

I’ve done this many times before sending a screenshot and circle or arrow to “prove” the information is correct and clear on whatever ad they viewed. The problem is clients claim to see it differently on their end, or say that the app lists me currently available in their city (when I am clearly not) or that the information is not visible to them, or some other excuse attempting to minimize the fact that they plainly didn’t bother to read the whole ad or check my dates. A lot of times a client sees my ad photo listed on a grid ahead of the dates and doesn’t bother to check the dates. They just click, like what they see in a photo stop there before reading anything and start blasting out messages. I could post a screenshot but it makes no difference to the client. Never has someone said, “oh, my bad, I see it now”. I only hear excuses and justifications and whining. At best, they are a little miffed. At worst, they think I’m a dick and won’t hire me because I have an “attitude”. I want the business so I try to keep it as neutral as possible. Me having to further explain and contradict the client takes more time and makes me come across as off putting or bitchy. It’s really not like that but some take it that way. So instead of going the self righteous screen capture route, I now try my best to look past the client’s lack of interest in reading the ad and take the extra two seconds to copy and paste the correct info and send it to them. My patience has limits, but I’ve grown far more patient over time with clients asking questions that my ad already answers. In the long run I do more business this way than if I didn’t. It pays to handhold your clients, as annoying as it may be. Plus you’re engaging directly with them instead of them scrolling mindlessly through the ad and then clicking on another ad. It’s harder for the client to disengage or discount you when they are actively having an exchange with you. Even if it’s dumb questions, the engagement makes them naturally more inclined to book with me. The extra effort pays dividends.

Ignore, don’t engage. Stay on topic as much as possible. I try to ignore those members and scroll on. I lost count of the number of threads the mods had to close because of a few choice members continuously picking fights with others arguing over absolutely nothing. They like provoking and getting a rise. The pattern is: take offense to something in the discussion, veer way off topic and take offense to something else down that whole other rabbit hole topic, defend one’s self to the point of total communication breakdown until only personal attacks ensue. You can see the pattern consistently play out. It sucks we miss out on some productive discussions because they hijack the thread. Note those members in the moderator locked closed threads, and then don’t engage their crazy anymore. Don’t poke the bears and don’t feed them either. And no, I’m not naming names. The various threads speak loudly and clearly for themselves.

I disagree. Some fin subs, “pay pigs” among other terms do not have the kind of money to support their habit and it can get really out of hand. I listened to a podcast about this a while ago on This is Uncomfortable. Sure, some have lots of money and send it freely to providers BUT remember that act gives them a huge rush and that action provides value to the client. I fail to see how it’s that different than paying a significant amount of money for skydiving, or for more mainstream vanilla erotic services. Findom is not for everyone. Certainly not for me. Heck, it’s not even for most people, but for the few with this kink, findom play is a cathartic, thrilling, and fulfilling experience. You don’t have to understand or identify with those who enjoy findom play to respect that it’s a thing. When a provider lists findom, that means it is an OPTION, not an exclusive demand for clients seeking that service. It’s the same trouble as marketing yourself as only a top or only a bottom. You lose a big chunk of your audience if you’re perfectly comfortable providing either or both. Same goes for niche interests. I don’t expect every client to express interest in bdsm play, for example, but some hire me for that and they love it. How would I reach those clients if I don’t list it? When you see a hashtag or mention of a kink you don’t like, I would advise not immediately eliminating that provider. He is trying to appeal to a wide audience, including a portion with some niche interests. If he has experience or interest in niche kinks, more power to him. It doesn’t necessarily mean he is ONLY seeking to provide that one particular service. It just means he’s willing to provide that service for those who want it. Regarding the lazy sentiment... It is work to do this. Different than a traditional provider service, yes, and highly specific, but work all the same. There’s an art to doing findom well and not everyone can. Also, not everyone will. That’s part of the appeal for the client. I don’t claim to understand it all perfectly, but I’ve done enough to know it’s not always as simple or easy as you might expect. Then sometimes it is. Just depends. You try doing it as part of your living for a while and then report back on how easy it is and how lazy someone must be to consider offering it as a service to willing, interested clients who will hire someone else if not you. Also…please do report back on all the scammers and game players and fakers and flakes and time wasters and weirdos and creeps who aren’t paying you willy nilly in minutes like you thought they would but rather are consuming lots of your time anyway…and still not paying. This niche service presents some of the same problems of providing a traditional vanilla provider service. It eliminates many problems but some are exactly the same. It’s not always as simple or easy as it might seem. Until you walk a mile in a findom’s shoes, I don’t think you have the right to judge either party. When a provider lists findom, there’s really no reason to run and hide, unless that’s the only thing they offer.

I don’t lie about my age. That way clients know exactly what to expect both in terms of maturity, life experience, mindset, and looks. A gen Z mind is pretty different from an older millennial one. I think I look my age, and have no fear or delusions about looking older or clinging to youth as I get older. Aging gracefully is hot. I want to fit the fantasy that a client hires me to fulfill, at whatever age I am when they hire me. When I state everything accurately and my pics are recent, there’s no problem. The people who want me find me and love my service. I can’t be all things to all people so I’m unapologetically myself. The clients who like me for me hire me and really enjoy the experience. No surprises, no problems. When clients comment on my age, they say I look at least a few years younger than my chronological age. Better a pleasant surprise than a sore disappointment. Invariably clients say I look better in person than my photos. They also consistently say I have good energy. That’s hard to glean from a photo, especially from profiles with only frowns and grimaces (or face cut off). You can have great energy at any age, and that’s arguably as important if not more so than looking young.

Like @Jamie21 I’m one of the few more organized and detail oriented of the bunch. Data is my friend. Doesn’t sound at all like an architect, does it? My appointment system is also a CRM tool and it keeps track of what a client booked, when, how much they paid including tip, and how it changes over time. I can track trends in time of day, week, month, and year. I also keep a spreadsheet of client and appointment data to check against my system and visa-versa. That tracks which payment method they used and what the transaction fees were, if any. That’s particularly helpful for taxes and reconciling my books. I keep detailed records of client interactions, preferences, conversation topics, and the like to remember things that will help me serve them better and continue conversations even after months have passed. You name it, I collect and maintain data to support my decisions and improve my business. February and August are my slowest months. February it’s definitely weather plus holiday season credit card bills coming due. Also it’s a slightly shorter month to begin with. August it’s mainly people traveling, but also weather (hot). Some of those travelers are coming to me from elsewhere but the volume is less than the dip in clients who would normally see me that month and are elsewhere. Friday nights tend to be slower, on average, while Friday afternoons tend to stay booked, especially with same day requests. Weekdays during the day are popular. Sundays and especially Sunday nights are quite popular. Saturday mornings are popular too. Saturday nights are variable, it tends to be more of a certain type of client - typically older single men, often for longer appointments. It’s all variable and there’s no hard rule, just some trends that have emerged over time.

This problem is quite common, especially when you travel frequently and/or have multiple cities listed on your ad. Some providers list “nearby travel” cities too, which can muddy the waters depending on how far flung the “nearby” travel cities are relative to their home base. There is no stopping the myriad client messages inquiring about a city or date that do not align with your clearly posted travel plans and home base. It doesn’t matter how well you post the info or how frequently you update it (although you absolutely should take care to do these well). Instead of getting frustrated or annoyed, I simply respond with a brief note including a copy paste of my travel dates and corresponding cities. Simple as that. When the client sees an incongruity with their location or schedule, that ends the conversation pretty quickly and neatly. I don’t see what the big deal is. Why is that so hard, or time consuming? It’s not any worse or different than responding with rates information. That’s routine, even if your rates are clearly posted people still ask all the time. Same with location and schedule. Copy, paste. Done. No reason to get bothered or upset about it. People are people. We’re dealing with the lowest common denominators here on comprehension, conscientiousness, consideration, care, and capability. Some clients are inevitably low on one or more of those. That’s the biz. Handholding is an unfortunate necessity in this line of work. Don’t get mad. Accept, adapt, take a breath and move on.

@socurious welcome to the provider world! We deal with so much bullshit and flaky people on a daily basis. It takes a while to adjust to it and sift through the endless inquiries. That’s part of the job and something clients don’t often appreciate about what we do and how much time we spend (and waste) NOT working on clients but dealing with nonsense. We spend triple the time or more dealing with people who don’t book or follow through. Rude, disrespectful, time wasters, etc. It’s all par for the course. It’s normal. Frustrating, yes. But normal. And unavoidable, to some extent. I agree with many of the previous comments. Prospective clients demanding lots of unpaid time on the phone or text are a big red flag. Never give a client an hour of your time for free. Repeated previously answered questions are also a red flag, as are requests for more photos when you have a good variety of them already posted, including nudes. Read the signs and be skeptical. If a client seems high maintenance, unreasonable, stupid, a liar, lazy, delusional, overly paranoid, or entitled, don’t see them. Don’t see clients who behave suspiciously. Better to lose one legit client exhibiting suspect behavior than waste your time on twenty more unserious clients exhibiting the same types of behaviors. Filter, filter, filter. Take heart. You will get better in time. When in doubt, listen to your gut. Deposits are one tool to help cut down on the nonsense. It won’t eliminate all of it, but reduce it. There’s a trade off though: you lose a significant amount of business from legit clients who would rather die a slow, agonizing death then send a deposit. You will read their comments aplenty on these forums. There are plenty of clients who have no problems sending a deposit, but they are far fewer. You also will hear providers here pontificate about the necessity for deposits for any client, for any situation, no matter what. That’s just not true, but it works well for some providers. It’s a personal choice. Do whatever works for your business model. There is no right answer regarding deposits. Personally, I choose not to require deposits. I vet my clients through various means and maintain a very wide potential client base that way. I continue to develop a thicker skin with each passing year. I no longer get so bothered by the odd flaky client, no-show, or other problem client. I accept that no matter how much I do to prevent this stuff it still will happen. Even when you require deposits, it still happens at times. All I can do is reduce the amount of bad clients with my vetting procedures. Over time you learn and get better at keeping out the riff raff. Experience teaches you how to maximize your time and how to let things go. Having boundaries and sticking to them also helps. People are people. They do all kinds of stupid stuff. There’s no changing that part of the business or human nature. It is what it is. The best you can do is make the most of what you CAN control, which is how you choose to respond, how much you let it get to you, and what business decisions you make to improve your outcomes. Focus on what you CAN control, act on those, accept and let go of the things you can’t control.

I’ve developed friendships with a few clients. I’m always careful to maintain emotional boundaries. That’s not to say I can’t have genuine caring feelings, but never romantic feelings or trying to fulfill the role of a shrink or a family member. If the boundaries are clear, it works! Depending on chemistry and mutual interests, etc. Happens from time to time.

Update on Dann: he’s now filming adult content. It’s pretty hot! Too racy to post the photos and vids directly here but check him out. His twitter (now ‘X’ 🙄) is: @ReeceScottx I’m not ready to dive into online content but I’ve considered it for quite a while. Maybe someday I will do adult content and collab with him. I’m sure we would make a great combo. Stay tuned.