Simon Suraci

I had no problems hosting at my apartment in Dallas. It helped that the building was secure, requiring a fob for access to the lobby and elevator. Clients couldn’t come up to my door without me first escorting them from the lobby up the elevator. In San Diego, I host at a place I rent for work only. I feel better not having clients at the home I own. The primary reasons for the separation are practical. I live in a more remote part of the county and fewer clients are in that area or willing to travel to that area. Also, the quality of clients in that area is much lower, on average. My studio location attracts much higher quantity and quality of clients, including travelers since it’s a lot easier to get to from the areas travelers tend to stay. One of my neighbors is a creep and I know he would be taking note of the comings and goings. The last thing I need is him reporting something.

I wouldn’t dream of having a handler or company managing me, taking a cut of my earnings, and having complete control over which clients I take, etc. Yes, managing all that myself is a lot of work, but it gives me freedom and autonomy. That’s one of the things I really like about this job. Plus clients like engaging with me directly. It adds to the quality of the whole experience for them. When I feel in my gut that the client is not a good match, I don’t take the client. I have a hard time handing that over to another person. I personally know of no other escorts or masseurs who use some sort of manager.

I concur. Secondary cities work best for me. Then again, I don’t have abs. I would never make it visiting in the big metros. I stay very busy in the medium to smaller markets, and I don’t care if I’m the best looking guy to grace their scene or not. Clients like and value my work, and from what they say, they like how I look too. I keep a humble head on my shoulders though. I hear positive comments about my appearance from from people booking me, but not all the comments from all the ones who decide NOT to book me based on how I look. In a way that’s a healthy boost, but I know my appeal is not universal, and that’s fine. The important thing is that I’m in demand, busy working and earning. Also, clients mostly hire me for massage. Skill matters, so even if I’m not their peak fantasy guy, I offer lots of value in my skills. Same goes for escorting. Looks are important, but how I make the client feel is even more important. When I strategically select cities, I do well. That means no NYC, no LA. I have a masseur friend in SF who lets me use his place when I’m visiting, so I will go there, when I otherwise wouldn’t consider that market.

@Jarrod_Uncut I stand by what I suggested. Neither you nor the client proposed a specific meeting time. That’s on you both.

Here’s a relevant thread. I do general companionship from time to time, but it’s not in high demand.

I like Fresh N Lean so far. The only thing I would change is the sodium content. My next one to try is Trifecta, which seems to have better options for low sodium criteria than the others. Maybe 300 mg per meal (or less) vs 650 mg or more for the other services offering “low” sodium plans.

I tried Factor recently. I agree, it’s a little too heavy and fatty for my tastes. I like Fresh N Lean, been using the prepared meal delivery service for a few weeks. The Mediterranean diet option is nice but I wish I could have it in an even even lower sodium format. My body is salt sensitive and I control my borderline high blood pressure with diet alone, no meds. If I keep eating 650 mg of sodium per modest microwaveable meal 2-3 times a day, I will be well on my way to a heart attack in a few years. I realize this amount is perfectly safe and normal and even low for most people, but my body can’t tolerate that much salt on a daily basis. My next one to try is Trifecta. They have some even lower sodium options that fit my tastes.

Once in a while I have clients requesting dom/sub play with many of the elements discussed above, or similar ones. Most of those types want to get into sub space. I get into a dom space for them. It’s normal. Consenting adults enjoying what they love is a beautiful thing. If I can make part of my living from fulfilling a role for someone, all the better!

Does anyone know of resources for affordable therapists or non-profits who have specific experience seeing sex worker clients? I have some local ones good for sex positive, lgbt+ and alternative lifestyle stuff, but I cannot afford them. My insurance is through the state because I am self employed it and doesn’t cover much, certainly not any mental health providers appropriate to my specific needs. I tried Pineapple Support but they denied me saying they only see “online” performers such as cam models, porn actors, and fan site content creators. Seems backwards to me that they won’t support a SW who does his work IRL. Ironically, one of the (many) issues I want to discuss in therapy is the possibility of becoming an adult content creator and how that may affect my life and psyche. Apparently you have to already have made the irreversible decision of posting content all over the internet before anyone is willing to help you deal with the mental fallout from doing so.

Some members write you off as a chronic complainer but I do genuinely want to see you to grow and succeed. We sympathize with you, especially other providers. I would love to see a positive post from you one day celebrating how much work you’ve got over the past 12 months explaining how making some key changes, and maybe even a move, has helped you succeed. A lot of clients are inconsiderate jerks and wishy washy, but that’s how the industry works. It can be better in some places compared to others, but we will always have flakes and time wasting behavior to deal with. People will lowball us, question our rates and policies. It’s human nature, and there’s no changing it. Add to that the racism component and it’s even worse. You have more years of experience than I, so you know these things even better than I do. That’s what puzzles me about the repeated posts about clients…being clients. What we can do to cope and improve is focus on the things we can control. We don’t have to explain or justify our policies. We don’t have to get mad at the client for disagreeing with our boundaries. We don’t have to convince the client we are right or fair. We don’t have to change the client’s mind about anything. They either conform to our policies and rates for the services they want, or they don’t. When they don’t, move on. I agree with the other comments; it’s best not to engage clients demonstrating a lack of respect for you and your work and how you choose to do business. Establish your boundaries and policies and stick to them, even if it means losing some work. That’s time saved not dealing with bad clients. When there are not enough good clients in your market, move to another one. If you can’t do that, maybe pick up some other work temporarily to help you save up for a move. We have different views on deposits, but you have your reasons. Whatever your policies, the key is to not make exceptions to them. When you do (infrequently, for some compelling reason), make it clear to the client what it is and why you are making the exception so they don’t have the impression they can expect the same thing every time. You might consider keeping your rates the same regardless of frequency so people don’t have any illusions about being entitled to a “regular client” rate when they only book you months or years apart. Or establish a hard line policy like they have to book you at least once per week/month/quarter or whatever so they know why they aren’t entitled. A hot tip about that client 50 mins away: People need firm time commitments otherwise they sit and stew in impatience and uncertainty. Every minute that goes by, the more they think that you aren’t coming, or will come way later than they want or expect you to. The uncertainty is what kills them. When you commit to a time you know you can make “I will arrive by 5pm and text you when I park”. That gives the client the freedom to relax and anticipate your arrival and do other things in the meantime other than worry and second guess.

On tour, I might consistently do 6 a day. In my home city, more like 2-4 per day. Sometimes zero, sometimes 6. It varies a lot. 4 on average after a year or two of building up a more consistent client base. I don’t even want to try cities in the Midwest heartland areas. If it’s as bad as your experiences tend to be on a regular basis, I wouldn’t want to go try scouting there. Low ballers: thank you, next. Politely hold to my rates and move on. I don’t attempt to engage. Flakes: unavoidable, just part of the biz. I focus on filling my schedule with as many regulars and repeats as possible so there is less time for bad actor newbies to potentially waste my time by filling up my schedule then not showing. Some communicate regarding a true emergency and will reschedule. Some are jerks and I maintain a one strike policy for those types. A4A: I’ve had some success using it. A lot less than the usual places, but plenty of clients find my pro ad and contact me. Very few try to waste my time asking for freebies or hookups because the ad is clearly labeled “pro” and the content is descriptive enough. A good chunck of A4A inquiries are serious. Lots of requests for rates, but only some of those book. Just how it goes. Uncooperative clients: I set boundaries and say I need to know by x time if you’re committed to y appointment and whatever we discussed. I’m available from a to b. I will be busy from c to d, but I will get back to you asap if you catch me when I am working. When they don’t respond, won’t commit or whatever, I move on. No waiting around for those who won’t respect me or my time. Late night, last minute requests: I reject them, state my open hours and tell them my new late night policy, which is they must book 24 hrs in advance if they want an early or late appointment outside my normal hours. On tour, I might relax this policy somewhat. I keep growing a thicker skin every day. Instead of complaining and lamenting, I move on to the next thing, work related or otherwise. I lack the emotional energy to care as much as I used to. Yes, I get frustrated, but I don’t let it get to me as much as I used to. I have my moments. Water off a duck’s back.

I agree. Decriminalizing the biz will make it safer and more equitable for everyone. In the short term, rates would almost certainly go down as more and more people enter the business. There would also be more clients over time to meet some of that increasing supply as it becomes more acceptable, accessible, safer, and more affordable to hire. I imagine a glut of initial supply and a slight increase in demand and steady increase in demand over time. Not everyone is cut out to be a good SW. Supply and demand curves I think would fall into equilibrium over time as people try this work and discover it’s actually pretty difficult in many ways. Even just being able to list our rates freely and openly would make rates more competitive. Some of the mystery around “ask me” would go down since everyone knows the going rates and it’s easier to compare. You wouldn’t have to be an experienced client to know when someone is charging a lot more than the market supports. That puts pressure on rates downward overall. This is all just a fantasy thought exercise, however. The USA is nowhere near the political and moral place it needs to be to make such a progressive change at the federal level.

Glad to share. Agreed, these points won’t be the right choices for everyone. There are many ways to work and be successful. Different strokes! If your travel model is turning enough of a profit, more power to you. Good to hear you respect your own limits. I know for me I have to stop after 6 clients because service quality goes down after that point and I need to rest for the night. I have stamina though, so I make the most of my time when I travel. It’s expensive to travel. Not only are you defraying travel costs like transportation, food, and lodging, you’re also paying all your normal monthly bills like rent, utilities, car payment, various insurances, mortgage, etc. on top of those. If I couldn’t consistently do so much volume on the road, it frankly wouldn’t be worthwhile for me to travel. Taking 0-2 clients a day for weeks at a time while taking break days every few days would leave me utterly broke. If it works for you, great. I acknowledge my everyday costs in California are pretty high already without travel, so that’s one of my major concerns when I consider a road trip, how much I need to earn, and whether it makes business sense.

Sure. I’m obviously not taking any precautions to hide myself online. The comments are more an observation of other providers I know of that go out of their way to limit their online exposure. Not everyone does this of course, and not everyone needs to or wants to. In fact, those that do are in the minority. Being detained or deported by CBP is one of many explanations of why some providers severely limit or omit their face pics.

Gotcha, thank you. Would you like to link your RM profile in your signature? It makes it easy for members to view your details and learn more.

Bravo @tenderloin for communicating your desires upfront. There's nothing wrong with asking for what you want. I wish more clients would do the same. If the provider can't deliver, he shouldn't agree to meet you. Faking it is no substitute. Pressuring the provider is not going to get you what you want either. I concur with: I factor in cum. That's why I take fewer escort clients. I can only shoot a load so many times in a given day and I want it to be special for the clients who are specifically hiring me for the service. For some, it's important that I cum for them one (or more) times (usually once), and I make sure I can deliver according to their desires by spacing out clients and limiting how many I take. I can't guarantee cum by any means, but nearly all such requests I am able to fulfill. I confess once in a great while I fake it, but not because I am trying to save up for another client. Although I don't force cum if it's unimportant to the client. Sometimes what they want doesn't require me to cum at all and they are perfectly happy without it. In that case, I'm not going to blow a load unless I personally want to. Even then, I would probably hold off to save myself the maximum mojo I can muster for a known or potential client later. One particular client comes to mind. He wants me to cum "on command" when I am inside him. I can't do that every time, although I try. I spend a good deal of energy NOT reaching orgasm so that I can pleasure him for as long as he wants. Then suddenly he wants to snap his fingers and make me explode. I can sometimes, or at least in short order. Other times, I have to fake it because it would take me too long to get back up to that point of no return. It's more important and more hot for him to perceive that I came at his command. He's bi-curious and has very little experience with men, pretty much only me as far as I know. I like to think he doesn't know better. He's never called me out on the O, and I like to think I am quite convincing when it counts. I don't make a habit of faking it. Sometimes, you have to for the sake of the client. Most clients know better, so I won't even go there. Side note, one of my clients likes to pay more "per additional load". It's part of his pay pig kink but also just because cum is hot and exciting to him. This dynamic was particularly fun (and motivating!) when he hired me to bring in two other working guys where we all three coat him with load after load toward the end of the session. We delivered more than one each. I think for me it was three. For him, part of the thrill was the cha-ching sounds in his own head when we kept earning more and more fee. That was a good payout. And man, did that client have the time of his life! Sometimes paying more for more cum can be a good incentive. I realize the pay pig thing is a niche interest and not for everyone. Still a fun thing to try, even on a smaller scale.

I see no reason the client shouldn't ask this, especially if he knows you don't advertise specifically as a bottom, power bottom, or prefer that role. However, he's contacting you anyway which means he passed over a LOT of bottom bunk providers that he probably should be reaching out to instead. Especially in light of his particular issue. It means this guy has very specific tastes for your look/personality, or he gets off on topping men who normally don't or at least less frequently. Perhaps he even wants to test your pain limits. Not someone I want to deal with, personally. I had this happen recently. The client keeps contacting me asking for the same reassurances over and over. He had the same request and same concerns. He also kept asking me repeatedly if he could do whatever he wanted to me. I repeatedly respond with something along the lines of "yes, as long as we discuss and agree on what you want beforehand". All red flags. This guy respects no boundaries, intends to hurt me, or at least blindside me with god knows what kind of actions or behavior during the session. Not to mention I am a naturally a stronger top than I am a bottom and need plenty of time to slowly and gently warm up in order to proceed. If he doesn't respect those boundaries, he could really hurt me. No thanks, hard pass. Plenty of respectful average, small, above average, and large dicks out there looking for attention that I am happy to service. I don't need a giant figurative (and literal) dick to wreck me, figuratively (and literally) for the same fee as any of the others. Not to mention he is quick to say he won't pay for something. Red flag. Move on.

Here's how I operate. I avoid a lot of this trouble by being smart about where, when, and how much I travel. 1) Identify the right travel cities for my goals. A. Cities I've had success in before. Lots of repeats and contacts, etc. B. Cities I have researched and have reason to believe I will be successful. C. Cities I want to see for fun on my own dime, but make myself available for work. D. Scout new cities I have less intel on and be willing to risk some/all of the accommodations costs. E. Plan cities on a route to/from other destinations when on tour. F. Limit or avoid listing "nearby travel" cities. If I spend less time driving around, I can work more. 2) I don't charge incall fees. A. In fact, depending on the services, I charge more for outcalls because it takes more time to fulfill. B. Outcalls mean fewer clients I can see in a given day. I eat the cost of hosting in favor of more clients. C. I book lower cost AirBnBs wherever possible. These are often the same or less than hotels. D. I intentionally book some slightly higher cost AirBnBs when I know the place is going to attract clients. E. Location matters. Clients want safe, nice neighborhoods and convenient parking. Nice shower is a plus. F. Be smart about what and where I book. The right place makes clients more eager to book me for incalls. G. Clients willing to travel to me tend to be better overall. Fewer high maintenance types. Just a trend. H. When a client flakes, it's much faster and easier to fill their spot if I mostly stay at the incall location. I. Maintain waitlists. More clients inquire than I can accommodate. When someone flakes, I fill their spot. J. On tour, I average 6 clients a day. That's more than enough to cover accommodation costs. K. Keep in mind: most appointments are for massage. Any given week, I average 0-2 escort clients per day. L. I have to sleep somewhere when touring. Might as well be baked into this other cost of doing business. 3) Mostly stay in my home city. A. Select an appropriate home city. Many factors go into this. Pick the right one for you. B. If you can't move to the home city you select right away, save up, do odd jobs, whatever it takes to move. C. Select a large home city with good connectivity. Lots of travelers and decent size local client pool. D. Alternate strategy: select a medium to smaller city and corner the market because you have less competition. E. Develop long term regular client relationships with people who live in, or frequently visit your home city. F. Don't travel too frequently or for too long at a stretch; home city clients perceive you as chronically unavailable. G. Avoid travel costs by...not traveling! (as much, anyway)

I was going to attend Folsom this year because a client hired me to join him for a few days. These parties and festivals may not be a place to trot out new clients per se, but a client may very well want to bring you along and show you off to his buddies and throngs of attendees. There's always the social aspect that can be fun and also productive because someone hires you down the road due to some connection you made just chatting and hanging out (and mildly flirting) with a lot of different people. In these festival situations, it's best to interact with the groups and crowds when they are sober (or at least less drunk) and avoid the hard drug scenes, wherever possible. I think it would be the most fun when you take time off just to go for yourself, either with friends or solo. Too bad my Folsom client had to cancel a few weeks ago. I was looking forward to sporting my leather gear in public and being flaunted.

I concur. The majority of my bdsm spectrum clients are this way. Not everyone, but a lot. It's a cathartic and enlightening experience for most. It's more than just sex. It's a headspace and a mental and spiritual release. I think it's pretty healthy for the Type As among us to explore sub role play, not just for sexual gratification, but for better mental health. I embrace the sub role when requested, but it's much less common that someone requests to dominate me.

One of my clients visiting me in San Diego from Tucson recommends him. I can't speak to personal experience. The trailer/shed sounds like a no-go for me, but I'd be more inclined to try anyway because of my client referral.

Keep in mind Soothe and Zeel masseurs are far less likely to do any extras like MT, HE, etc. If anyone reports frisky behavior on those apps, the masseur could jeopardize his license. This is all fine if you want therapeutic only service, but problematic if you want even the slightest bit more, which most clients in these forums do. Soothe, Zeel, and others also take a hefty cut of the fee, plus the masseurs are spending time and money getting to you and back, setting up and taking down. Then the app tracks what services the masseur performed and you are then obligated to pay taxes on those services, even if payments are in cash, because the apps report to the IRS. That’s not a problem for me, but may be for others who do not want to claim some or all of their massage income. Between all these factors, he is making a lot less than if he stuck to his own private practice. If he’s not making that much relative to the time he’s spending, he has far less motivation to go above and beyond. If not for law enforcement concerns, then for practical ones. Just more reasons I imagine masseurs will largely offer therapeutic only service on these apps. The major advantages to these apps for masseurs is that they advertise and do some of the coordination for you so that you’re spending less time texting replies to non-serious inquiries. That’s about the only advantage I see.

^This is a lot of the reason providers do not show face pics, particularly those who travel frequently and/or are more well known porn actors and models. Not just for general privacy concerns, but also to avoid customs and border control enforcement. I'm posting a link below to CBP protocol for searches of electronic devices. The latest one I'm aware of is 2018. If there is a newer one, please post it. If you are American and post face pics on your ads and want to work in another country - or even take a vacation abroad - you are WAY more likely to be stopped and questioned upon your return, phone and other devices searched, and you will be interrogated and detained for many hours. Vast, constantly updated facial recognition databases gives them reason to stop you. If they find anything incriminating on your devices, they report you to state and local law enforcement. If you are not an American citizen, US customs will put a big scarlet letter on your record and deport you, banning entry for a decade or more. It wasn't a big deal 5-10 years ago when detainee search numbers were very low, but now it's more common with facial recognition automating the process. Every year the detainee numbers continue to rise in the name of "national security", when their premise for doing this is purely moral. Enforcing laws to do with sex work is outside the jurisdiction of Customs and Border Protection; however they can say ANYTHING is for "national security" and don't even need a warrant to detain you, search your devices, and interrogate you. A blip on facial recognition software for that one pic on that one ad a provider posted two years ago but then deleted a week later is enough for them to go on. There are workarounds, but it's extremely inconvenient, not to mention costly to be detained upon re-entry to the US. If you're an American citizen, the authorities have to let you back in, but only after they detain, search you and interrogate you. You are not obligated to answer any questions but they can and will coerce you and bully you as best they can, make you as uncomfortable as possible, plus confiscate and search your devices. Heaven help you if you have low blood sugar issues or anything else that could jeopardize your health while under interrogation. Anything on your devices is fair game. Anything on a cloud service or requiring internet to access from that device is technically out of bounds unless they find incriminating stuff actually on the device first. They have to return your devices, but not for many days or even weeks later, and they COPY your device digitally and maintain records of it for years unless you have nothing on it to incriminate you. If you're lucky, they don't find anything and give the device back when they release you. If you're a SW not in the know, you almost certainly have at least one incriminating item on your phone. A text, an ad link, a transaction, anything. Now that you're on a watchlist, you will be even more likely to be detained again in the future, and possibly arrested in your home jurisdiction, or at least closely watched now that you're in a local database. Meanwhile you miss connecting flights, lose work, unintentionally ghost your clients who are expecting you to show up to your previously arranged appointments...it's a f*ing NIGHTMARE. If you never travel to the US or other countries with lame sex work laws, you're fine. For many of us, that is not a practical way to live. Every provider is taking a huge risk posting face pics all over the internet, especially in the more explicit places like RentMen. And yes, they last FOREVER, long after you take down your ads or years after you exit the biz. This is one of the many reasons we charge what we do for SW. There's an embedded risk to showing our faces that the client never has to even think about but we have to deal with all the consequences if and when the sh*t hits the fan. The below protocols are intended to protect us and limit the broad power given to CBP that anywhere else in the US would be considered unconstitutional, but I hear many stories of CBP not respecting these protocols. Nobody is enforcing their own policies. CBP has virtually no accountability. You could sue, at great cost, and with great difficulty. That's about it. https://www.cbp.gov/sites/default/files/assets/documents/2018-Jan/CBP-Directive-3340-049A-Border-Search-of-Electronic-Media-Compliant.pdf

A client referred me to another massage therapist a couple weeks ago. Saw him yesterday and it was a good experience. Will share about it in the spas and masseurs section. It goes both ways! I am a client too.

I am a confident provider. I refer clients without hesitation to other masseurs and escorts in my network that I know will suit their needs. The favor comes back to me from other providers only a small fraction of the time, but I don’t care. I don’t view offering referrals as giving away business. While it supports other guys’ businesses and fosters goodwill, I refer when I can’t serve the client within their schedule limitations, or one of us is moving away, or for whatever reason I can tell I am not the best fit for the client’s needs. It’s good business to refer clients to others because I know I am offering a valuable service to my clients. They understand my value even when they are not paying me. That’s what keeps them coming back. Also, there’s the added benefit of clients seeing what else is out there and often realizing they enjoy a better value when they hire me, compared to experiences with others. Clients also refer me to their friends. In this business, as others have noted, clients discuss their hiring a lot less frequently with their contacts, often not at all. If that weren’t the case, I am positive I would have many more referral clients. The few that do refer are worth their weight in gold. I offer generous referral discounts for this reason. Good people tend to know good people. If not by direct referral, client reviews matter a lot too. Many clients hire me because they trust the feedback from other clients. The best part is all of my reviews are genuine and unsolicited. I don’t ask for them or incentivize clients in any way to write them.