Simon Suraci

True, @pubic_assistance by not paying you’re leaving some of the dynamics to chance in a semi-public setting. It’s not truly public as a bathhouse is limited to 18+ male presenting people specifically there to cruise and be cruised, and paying for the privilege. Anyone can walk up to you in a park for free, but only this specific group of people can do so in a bathhouse. Also, you can’t be naked or walk around in a towel in public, at least not safely. So I see this as a semi-public setting. I agree paying is the one way to get exactly what the OP wants while maintaining 100% control. It gives you say over the boundaries. You can be picky, if you want to, about who is watching, for how long, what they do or don’t do, or if they participate in any way. Not paying, you may have to deal with saying ‘no’ or swatting a hand away, or temporarily pausing while the guy not respecting your boundaries moves on. Then you can resume. Annoying, but that’s the trade off. The downside to paying for this kind of scene is you lack the true spontaneity of people stumbling upon you and genuinely interested in watching what’s going on. Part of the fun is feeling like you’re doing something transgressive and that you’re holding the voyeurs’ interest by what you’re doing. Paying a voyeur doesn’t guarantee this dynamic, but it works if you can embrace the fantasy and suspend thoughts about whether the hired guy is truly into it or just indulging you. Sometimes voyeur scenes are about being “discovered”, “caught in the act”, or being viewed secretly, like from a crack in a wall or a keyhole, or through one way glass. Sometimes proximity is arousing, like someone stroking their dick two feet away from your face as they enjoy you play with your partner. It looks different ways. Pay if you want 100% complete control. Or don’t pay, but be prepared to set and enforce boundaries.

It varies. Different places, different nights of the week. There’s always that guy who, for whatever reason ignores or doesn’t understand boundaries. I can’t say one experience represents all, or that things are a lot different from years ago vs now. I don’t think much has changed. It varied then, it varies now. Whatever the situation, each member has the power to establish and enforce his own boundaries. No means no. Nobody is beholden to another for sex, touch, or attention. For 1:1 time with another visitor, it’s best to get a room. That’s what they’re for, although some clubs call them “changing rooms” …with TVs, and beds… 🤣 …maybe for legal reasons.

Personally, I don’t care. Prospective clients ask for various pics. I send them. Sometimes they hire me. Sometimes they don’t. I’m not bothered. People don’t hire me because I’m the hottest guy on the grid. So-and-so’s dick is bigger, so-and-so has rippling abs. Whatever. They hire me because they like me for me. You can’t communicate that in a photo, or a hundred. That’s why I don’t really mind. I know clients best matched to me will find me and hire me over and over. That’s my bread and butter business. So what if they’re jerking off to my photos? More power to them.

A bathhouse is more fun when you’re open to other partners joining in some capacity, but you can still enjoy the exhibitionism aspect with whatever rules you have around your play. Bathhouses are places for play, yes, but also for consensual play. I disagree with @pubic_assistance on this one. Maintain your boundaries and you will be fine. It’s ok to say no to someone’s advances verbally or nonverbally. You can be polite but firm about it too. “No, thank you” goes a long way. Swatting a hand/dick/whatever away is clear enough for most people when your mouth is occupied or you can’t see who it is or where it’s coming from. I see no reason why you couldn’t go at it in front of an audience and leave the area if/when someone persists in violating whatever boundaries you set. It’s the perfect cheap thrill and you’re still 100% in control. Same goes for when you go alone. Maintain your boundaries and have fun!

It’s a one of a kind place to dish on all the things you might not be able or willing to do on mainstream social media or IRL. PLUS everything else too 😊

Two years ago I threw into the ring: some cellulite lotion and a package of pasties (the kind for your nipples, not the kind you eat). Plus a bottle of booze. My stepmom didn’t understand why the pasties were so funny. She drank the booze. This year my brother in-law received a pair of enormous bright red bloomers and a hand massager. My sister took the bloomers and waved them around from side to side saying “Olé, olé!” with my nieces and nephews charging into the fabric. My other brother in-law received a pair of spangly women’s sandals. $5 on a two for one special at the drugstore. They fit, they looked surprisingly good on him, and he said they were comfortable. So he wore them the rest of the day! My mother in-law received the other pair. My favorite white elephant gift of all time was a machete from co-workers at my old day job, of all places. Had to steal it back from my boss. Good times.

Maybe this was a misunderstanding. I was quoting a provider presumably, not a client. I agree, most clients are good people. Providers should stay in business because they truly enjoy what they do, and leave the profession when it no longer suits them. When the negatives outweigh the positives, that’s certainly a strong reason to retire. Clarification: by escape their misery, I simply meant leave the profession. Work doing something else for the right balance of positives to negatives to make it work for their life.

Given or received, what are your best white elephant gifts? Why? Happy Holidays everyone! Love, Simon

You get it! Some here could read this post, take it to heart, and escape their misery. Not everyone is so sensible, unfortunately.

Same here, 100%. Couldn’t have said it better myself!

I would read nothing into it. You’re still in contact, with all signs of him interested in meeting you for a session. Green means go. Try not to overthink it. Have fun!

I have a great time doing overnights, but only with regulars I know and trust. They wipe me out for the next day and it takes me a few days to recover my sleep schedule. Overnights with a new client are a huge gamble and I rarely do them. I charge a premium for a new client wanting an overnight. You have to click for these to work well. Mutual consideration and respect go a long way. One of my regulars prefers overnights starting late at his hotel while he’s in town. In no particular order: Therapeutic massage time on my table. Sometimes only 30 mins to work a problem spot. Sometimes an hour or two. We fuck for about two hours straight. Yes, it’s true, we can go that long with only a few five minute breaks, and some flip flopping along the way. He loves bottoming so much that’s what we do for 90% of the fuck time. And to think… he used to be a strict top before he met me! Often in the wee hours before we get to sleep: Lots of cuddle time, chatting, sharing. Golden Girls quoting. Kvetching. Kissing. Often leading to round two. Or one of us wakes the other up for round two. More cuddling. Spooning him to sleep. Sleep time. Might only last 2-4 hours. With other clients, longer. He typically has to work, and I typically have some responsibility at home to attend to, so we get up in the early morning. After silencing my alarm, I suck his cock until his little head swells into a raging wood, and eventually his big head comes-to. Then it’s not long until I bring him to the edge and he explodes, satisfied, and lays peacefully resting as I take a shower and set out a small continental breakfast. For other clients, we do more activities in the early evening, in addition to the above. Often dinner, some entertainment, drinks, other typical date stuff. It varies. I might sleep longer considering we do 1-2 rounds of sex before bed. Usually some form of sex in the morning. Everyone is different, and client moods and desires vary in the moment. Overnights can be great with even the most terrible sleeping companions when you arrange for separate beds, or separate rooms. Say you have a suite in your hotel, or a guest room in your home. Snoring, thrashing, night terrors, whatever. It’s contained. What matters more is what you do before sleep time, and after you get up. And perhaps waking up to have a randy round in the night. Cuddling you can do before falling asleep, and switch beds or rooms before you do. There are so many workarounds to enjoy the best aspects of overnights while mitigating the worst aspects. Sleep masks, earplugs, two blankets, etc. You can make it work. Planning, flexibility, and care for one another go a long way. Some men are blessed. They’re great sleeping companions. For the rest of us with less than ideal sleeping habits, you find a way.

I would approach it differently depending on the kid’s motivations. Ask: is he an escort? The decision chart diverges from there. If his intent in using seeking is to benefit from the experiences he has, that is his compensation. Does he have experience escorting? Does he know how to do this professionally? If not, demanding a professional’s fee for the work of an amateur seems silly to me. If his intent is to make a living or supplement his income doing the professional work of an escort, then he should be determining his own fee and asking for it before taking the trip. The fee is also a condition for agreeing to take the trip with you. Travel expenses are not compensation for an escort. Any enjoyment an escort has in a meal, a gift, a first class flight, is incidental. These are all things provided to the escort ultimately for the client’s own gratification. You pay an escort his fee whether you want to take him to a bowling alley for an evening or on a luxury cruise for a week. @purplekow makes a reasonable suggestion. Pay the guy something in the range of what you would normally would expect to pay a professional and move on. Next time, be clear upfront before agreeing to any trips or time together about his intentions and his compensation (if any). As always, communicate your expectations regarding intimacy, dedicated time per day vs free time, what you will be doing together, any special accommodations either of you need, and establish any rules important to either of you.

Here is a thread on JayJay, another I recommend for group play sessions:

I met JayJay for a collaboration. This was for one of my clients visiting San Diego the week of Thanksgiving 2024. JayJay doesn’t drive, so he charges to offset rideshares. My studio is not far away, so to simplify things, I picked him up at his place in Hillcrest and drove to the client’s hotel. The client enjoyed our two hour session together. Kinky stuff, massage, threesome play, spitroasting, voyeur play watching us go at it, and plenty of sensual and erotic touch throughout. JayJay was great to work with, and easy to communicate with before and after. He thanked me for making it so easy for him. I arranged everything. A highlight was the rimming. I can’t say this about many men, but JayJay got me throbbing hard as I sat on his face. He didn’t want to stop, saying he loved eating my hole. Then, when I took my turn, I had him moaning, eyes rolled back, toes curling, cock raging hard, begging me not to stop. And of course we fucked the client and each other. That rimming though…hot! JayJay is stunning. I did not ask him directly about his real age because I think it’s rude and not particularly relevant, but he did ask me that question in person and I gave him my real age, which is the age I list on my ads. I am guessing he is early 40s, but he looks young. Beautiful body, build and skin. Hot booty. Nice long cock, and not so girthy, which I personally like. Tastes vary, take that for what it is. Striking greenish eyes. His photos are flattering, to be sure, not 100% the way he looks in person, but not in any way that you should concern yourselves about. He’s hot from head to toe! Re: Experience. He spent many years being supported by a few sugar daddies in NYC. He’s less experienced as your typical “multiple client” escort, but he’s been doing more of this work over the past year or two in addition to his massage. Some periods not working while he takes care of some life things. Interesting guy. You will have to ask him for more details. I can’t say he’s a feminine guy or anything, but certainly not your hyper macho type either. If extreme masculinity is your thing, maybe he’s not the one for you. JayJay advertises massage services too, see his RentMasseur ad for that. We really only did some bed massage as foreplay for the rest of the session, so I can’t speak to his massage skills or style. It’s on the steeper end for San Diego, but not crazy, starting at $185/hr. It’s in that $180-$250 no go zone I have opinions about, but hey, if he strikes your fancy maybe try him. He tells me his massages feel like a “spiritual experience”. Y’all be the judge of that. His rates for escort service are close to mine: $325/hr, or $500/2-hrs. Verify of course since these things change over time. Quite reasonable in the going range for our area. I recommend JayJay. He is fun, easy to work with, talk to, and gorgeous.

For those of you interested in the convoluted and frustrating world of US health insurance, why it costs so much, and what we can do about it, here is a podcast I’ve been following for years. It offers a lot of helpful and interesting content: Home - An Arm And a Leg ARMANDALEGSHOW.COM

I’ve considered donating. I wondered if cash was an option. Apparently it is if we can mail it. Nice to know, thanks! The bigger issue for me is: would supporting the site appear to be a conflict of interest for a provider?

When my partner and I bought our house in 2016, we were doing a walkthrough during the inspection period and noticed a random lady picking fruit off the avocado trees in our yard outside. Our realtor, with us at the time, said she was the seller’s sister. I guess, in an attempt to make us feel better about it? Turned out she’s actually one of our wacko neighbors with no boundaries. Realtors spout all kinds of bs to keep a transaction moving smoothly. While reading one of the contract documents for the house, I shot my realtor a concerned, puzzled look and asked him, “Pump and dump? What’s that?” He tried to remain composed and professional as he explained to two gay guys that a “pump and dump” is for septic system maintenance, that the seller is paying to have the tank pumped before selling us the property. We were the sellers’ second choice. They picked the straight couple with the same offer terms as ours. We lucked out when the straight couple backed out of the sale and we got the house. More generally to the topic, I’m sure I unconsciously favor more attractive people, all else being equal or close to equal. It’s part of human nature to do this. We humans tend to view conventionally attractive people as more trustworthy, more capable, and more likable. I try to be aware of my biases and acknowledge them. Pretending bias doesn’t exist won’t help us change anything. It’s definitely a thing.

Definitely worth opening a new credit card account to preserve my ability to earn my livelihood. I got a MC back in August when RentMen and RentMasseur started doing this in response to Visa changing their policies with regard to adult businesses. This is old news. Here is an existing thread on the exact same topic (which already has been merged from two previous duplicate topics) I might suggest merging:

Sidebar. There are no “overreactions” or “overreacting”. We really should strike these terms from our language. There are simply “reactions”, and “reacting”. The terms using the prefix “over-” frame one person’s opinions about someone else’s reactions as an objective reality. It has an air of: “I know better than you how you should be allowed to feel”. Using “over” dismisses the reacting person for feeling any sort of way that doesn’t agree with the observer’s own opinions. The observer’s opinions are neither superior nor inferior to the “reacting” person. People have feelings. Feelings are not facts. Neither are opinions. Feelings and opinions are not at all objective. They cannot be “over” and they cannot be “under”. They just are. The client taking offense to being asked the question “Are you retired?” is simply REACTING. He experienced an emotional response. The escort asking him almost certainly meant no offense by suggesting the client might be retired. I don’t see being retired as something to be ashamed of at any age, and to others’ points, retirees can be in their 30s, 40s or even younger albeit more rarely. Someone may take this question about working status as a proxy to say: “You look old. I assume you’re well past your working years”, and by extension, “I find you unattractive because I think you’re old.” Of course, the escort didn’t say or intend to convey any of this, and these are just assumptions based on our unfortunate social attitudes and norms. It’s not difficult to see how a client might react the way he did. Cultural pressures make us all self conscious about our age and appearance. It’s even worse among men who are attracted to men. Some off comment suggesting the client is “old” can really hurt. No wonder the client had a reaction. To minimize those feelings by saying “you’re overreacting” is to say “your subjective feelings are invalid.” Subjective feelings ARE valid. We all experience feelings. That said, I’ve learned not to ask “Are you retired?” and instead ask “What do you do?” It gives clients the opportunity to share that they are retired (or working) and gives me an opportunity to ask a follow up question like “How, then, do you like to spend your time?”

Here is a thread from a few months ago with more info on Brady: Brady in Phoenix He does not keep his commitments.

That type of scheme works like this: the fraudster gets you interested in a high volume of work $$$ with people most masseurs would (presumably) prefer to work on more than your average client i.e. younger, attractive, in-shape, athletes, models, actors, you name it. Sometimes they assume women would be more enticing to me, which indicates sloppy or zero research on their part. Then the fraudster presses to pay up front using some digital method. After providing them the payment information, they attempt to steal your personal and financial information, your money, or both. The boys sports team never shows up, and the fraudster moves on to the next victim. Stuff that seems off, too good to be true, odd, or unusual I steer clear of. It’s almost always a scam. Any client asking to pay ahead via digital means is an instant no-go, highly likely to be fraudulent activity. When I was actually engaging the sports team guy, I asked if the “boys” he mentioned were underage, or all over 18. I can’t knowingly serve minors. He was flustered by the question. Clearly he didn’t expect anyone to have this concern. That made it so obvious what was going on that I ended the conversation and reported the scam.

I had a great time at Anthropology years ago. Would definitely go back, and also check out the other places mentioned in this thread. I love the strip clubs in PV. What a blast! Wet Dreams I was unimpressed last time I visited, but it was probably an off time (day) and it was still too early in the evening, so I’ll give it another go next trip.

Haha, I’m neither. I’m in the middle in terms of age and looks. There are waaay better looking men out there. Being experienced or on the older end of the spectrum doesn’t make you good necessarily, and being attractive doesn’t make you bad either. What you want is the best of both: a truly skilled professional masseur (priority #1) …. that happens to be somewhere in the neighborhood of what you find attractive (priority #2). Maybe not your top pick for escort services who “must” have a certain look or body type for you to be into him. All I’m saying is looks should be secondary if you’re one of the few clients who truly values an excellent massage. Basically, think with your big head, then your little one. In my case I have two big heads, so what’s a guy to do? 🤣 (see my private gallery)