APPLE1

Right, cheers, thanks a lot.

Gentlemen, thank you for your thoughts and for sharing your own horror stories. A rather strange type of solidarity. Much appreciated, though.
Update:
Yep. definitely been to Santo Domingo and it's richer in options. All-inclusive resorts are not necessarily my type of vacation, so this was purely to please my husband. Oddly, I've been to La Romana, and I've hooked up with people there without any issues.
So I wasn't able to flip the Butler, but as I have always said, it doesn't hurt to ask. I asked him if he flips and he said no, but he had a few names of guys who will gladly help. Something in the back of my mind was telling me that there has to be some kind of covert activity. I'm sure there have been this type of requests in the past.
I was referred to a few local providers, two of which I chose, one Dominican, the other Haitian. They were perfect, affordable, safe and hot as hell. Had a great time last night. As everything in the DR, they were versatile in many ways, one of which was that they also sell merchandise, so I got mugs, t-shirts and other souvenirs from them.
Today I saw the Butler and he did notice my change in mood for the better. He was discreet but inquired about "how was my day".
I rarely come to places where this type of things are more underground than easily accessible. I still feel that it was risky to ask the Butler if he flips and for info, but I'm glad I did. This chain of resorts is gay friendly (yes it's also LBT... friendly, but I'm talking about me) and this is an adults-only resort, so I guess that I'm not the first to make this type of request.
I also decided to tell my in-laws that I need "me time", so I haven't seen them. I'm glad that I was able to please my in-laws, please my husband and now please myself. Now I feel like a real vacation.

I’ve had to effectively disown my sisters. When the nephews were young, I made an effort but all very controlled. Separate houses or hotels. I love to travel but there are not that many people I want to spend that much time with. 
 
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after 3 days. The decay time is far quicker with toxic family.

in 2010 my family went to my nephew's wedding in South Carolina. My older sister proposed getting a big condo for all of us, which I vetoed (and I was reassured that I made the right decision at Thanksgiving at her house with the whole family, including her in-laws).  I got my own condo and begrudgingly said my younger sister and husband could stay there. She co-opted the main bedroom and I got the sofa bed in the basement, my niece ended up staying in our condo, and I was blocked out of the shower because my nephew was showering.  Younger sister and husband decided on that trip that they were divorcing. As bad as it was with two condos, I can't imagine how much worse it would've been if we did all stay in one condo.

My position is that people can like and dislike based on age as much as they prefer. My only problem is that some seem to just have their preferences; they also attack those who differ in their preferences. That's where I intervene to either educate or set boundaries. One thing is what you like, another one is attacking others who don't share the same preference.
When it comes to me, my saying is "I find both beauty and ugliness in all ages, shapes, races, ethnicities and types". Those things are not necessarily the most dominant factors for me to decide hooking up or hiring.
I respect, so I can demand respect.

Whether they are attracted to guys or not is not really the issue. Most providers are probably not attracted to many of their clients. However, there is still a basic interest in having sex with someone who is the same gender. Straight guys generally don't like to take a cock in the ass but a gay or bi bottom would pretty much always be able to do it regardless of attraction. I could advertise myself as a escort for women, but I would never be able to actually perform to any woman's satisfaction. 

I'm so sorry that you seem to have trouble with reading comprehension. Or maybe you just get so triggered around the subject of bisexuality and you just jump into attack mode? I don't know.
This is what I said: "I'm always weary about bi guys when it comes to hiring. In my experience, it has been more "gay for pay" (bi for pay? lol) and I want someone who actually likes sex with guys."
Nowhere in that statement mentions anything about me being "tired of bisexuals" or that bisexuals are really gay4pay nor did I say that bisexuals "don't actually like sex with guys." I literally said the opposite - instead of getting bisexuals who do like sex with guys, most of the providers I have hired who claim to be bisexual are in fact gay4pay and don't like sex with guys; they are just doing the bare minimum (if even) to earn some money. 
Reading (comprehension) is fundamental! 

Regardless of who I reach out to with a friendly piece of information, I will do it few times. Then, I wait for them to reach out to me in a similar spontaneous manner. I always assume that if I never get a similar reach out, they have no interest in any relationship beyond the one we already have.

Regardless of who I reach out to with a friendly piece of information, I will do it few times. Then, I wait for them to reach out to me in a similar spontaneous manner. I always assume that if I never get a similar reach out, they have no interest in any relationship beyond the one we already have.

Regardless of who I reach out to with a friendly piece of information, I will do it few times. Then, I wait for them to reach out to me in a similar spontaneous manner. I always assume that if I never get a similar reach out, they have no interest in any relationship beyond the one we already have.

You're not allowed to bitch about it if you can't spell it correctly.

Husband insisted. It's his family and there are compromises, obligations and responsibilities that come with being married. Besides, even with all that, they are a lot better than my family.
But yes, you do have a point. We're not doing this again.

Why are you willingly subjecting yourself to family on an expensive retreat?  That’s not a vacation by any definition.
Sounds like it’s time for some new family rules .
If you have to do family dwell time, do it somewhere more pedestrian, like a city where you can more easily find ways to separate…like NYC or DC. 

Thank you for reminding me why I hate people and love my dog! 😆

I say dump the dead weight and go do your own thing! 😉

Ask them in person.
If they forgot what you asked the next time you meet, then don't even try to get closer. That's him staying away.

Sensitive much? I think I was pretty clear that my experience with providers who CLAIM to be bi has turned out to be more gay4pay and therefore lacked in the enthusiasm required for the job. I'm not "mistaking" gay4pay for bisexual. I'm saying the providers in my experience have left a lot to be desired in their claims to be into men or gay sex in general. Outside of hiring, bi is not an issue. 

I have already outlived all but one of my old gay friends from my youth and early manhood. I treasure my newer friends, but I still miss those who remember when I had a full head of hair and spontaneous hard-ons.

After one of my ~90yo grandmother's friends died, she took it really hard, was depressed for weeks.  Two of my aunts were a bit baffled because while they were friends, they weren't really all that close.  Then it dawned on them:  the friend was the last of grandma's age group.  Although she did have other friends, they were all at least a decade younger.  It must be hard to start talking about "remember when ..." only to realize that nobody does.

In her extreme old age, my mother once said, "The worst thing about old age is not how you look or how you feel. The worst thing is losing all the old friends who could remember the life you once lived."

I prefer the Starfish position.  Just lay there with all appendages spread out, and let the other guy do all the work. ⭐

You may not have it wrong…but the urban dictionary link clearly included “fellatio”. My understanding is everything vanilla leading up to but excluding penetration.

The terms “top” “bttm”, etc., seem to carry personal meaning but, lack accurate definition. Those words can also apply to more than position~ For example: emotional, psychological along with or ascent or physical position and aside from who is giving or receiving. There are situations where the exchange is fluid and lacking distinct characteristics of either top or bottom, dominance or submission… where the point of departure and goal is neither of those 

You do you…but that doesnt sound like fun to me. My favorite position is any position that allows us to cum together. 

I'm in favor of it.

Isn't that false advertising?? Why should I have to wait until my 6th or 7th time visiting to discover his place isn't impeccably clean, and he's a bit of a slob? I'd rather see the horrors up front to know if it's beyond what I can deal with, and then I cut and run early on in the relationship.