APPLE1

On 4/20/2024 at 5:20 PM, RyanDean said:

did finally reply a few hours before planned meetup

The above seems very significant in this situation. We can certainly debate all day about which providers prefer advanced notice and how much, or which providers prefer same day meet ups, and which is more likely to come to fruition. Provider and client lives vary a lot, and the scheduling protocols that work for one, may not work for another.

BUT, when you have an appointment scheduled in advance, AND you confirm that appointment a few hours before the meeting, you've really accomplished the best of both worlds. There's plenty of notice, and you should be able to assume that everyone is still serious and ready to make it happen. There are very few good reasons to miss an appointment that was confirmed just a few hours prior. And almost no good reasons to not communicate why you failed show up for the meeting.

20 minutes ago, TT3690 said:

I actually don't like this 'direct' approach at all and would opt out if I got a response like this so...ymmv To me, this is a sign that the session will also be the bare minimum. 

I wasn't trying to label the session as "perfect." I frequently see things in ads about preferring phone or video calls, times to reach out, chats about getting to know one another, etc. I am not making judgements about any of those preferences. It was a big picture comment on simply and clearly  expressing preferences for communication.

I understand it may be a bug. I hope it really is a bug, and not the result of an added algorithm that modifies the list of nearby providers based on other criteria.

5 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

Agreed. 

A perfect example of "the easiest way to get what you want is to let people know what you want."

It wasn't bitchy, rude, or demeaning. It was simple. 'Reach out to me when ready to book.' That happened, and an appointment was set.

Not impressed with the set up so far. Deffinetly disappointed in the proximatey search feature. Either the system has some bugs, or it's only identifying providers willing to travel to the area I am currently in, and ignoring that I may be willing to travel to them.

In regard to anyone feeling hideous:

Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too masc, too fem , too young,  too old, too slutty, too chaste, and the list goes on. There's always a reason someone out there doesn't , or does, want to sleep with you. Do your best to move on and find the latter guy.

If it were my dearest straight friend, I would ask them about the gift. Having had a significant gap between my own graduation, and the time I was invited friends kids' and relatives' graduations, and then another significant second gap before my next round, I simply asked my friends and siblings what the "going rate" was.

My guess is that your close friend knows a bit of your financial situation. Seems likely that if you're close, that they will neither put you in a financial bind, nor will they fleece you on behalf of their kid when they throw out numbers.

12 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I don't know about that. They mentioned a woman who had affairs on her husband. For a "monogamish" marriage, it may be better for both parties to stay ignorant, as long as you protect against STDs or pregnancy.

But I'm not sure I'd date someone who lied about their background to look better. In fact, I wouldn't want someone who brags about their real accomplishments all the time either.

I think as long as everyone understands it's "monogamish, "  it's all good. I am not sure from the article, that was the understanding though. I agree that, while personally, I wouldn't want all the details, I would at least want to know that it's "monogamish" vs monogamous.

Likewise, in a dating relationship, there is a lot less dishonesty and ommission that I would put up with than in other relationships. I would certainly do the tactical and tactful dance much less often with someone I was dating than I would with friends, family, and coworkers. Honestly, most of the time, he's getting it hard, fast, and raw.

With the heteronormative slant, extrapolating my experience to the article is difficult, even beyond the concept of monogamy. I mean, can you imagine being with a man who let you go out in public looking like tragedy, simply because he didn't want to let you take time to fix yourself? He'd find himself single in a hot minute!

There MAY have been room to cut her some slack BEFORE the pharmacy issue. But alas, she is just an absolute attention whore.

Amazing thing about pharmacies is 2024 is that they have phones and computers, and last week was not the first time patients traveled or used controlled substances. If meds, and the specific brands, are actually important to someone, pharmacies can transfer the Rx ahead of time, or a provider can send it in ahead of time to have a it filled on X day.

On 5/23/2024 at 11:31 AM, marylander1940 said:

or get their negative reviews removed, it happened to me twice and I closed my account n RM because of that. 

And that is why, I would much rather donate funds here. I feel like keeping this site alive and solvent, is a much better return on my investment.

You can game the system indefinitely, especially if you pool resources. I mean really, we have  many posts here about the " Murray Hill Gang." How difficult would it be for several providers to kick money into a pool and fund memberships for people who do nothing but write great reviews.

3 hours ago, Whippoorwill said:

Unmitigated truth is overrated. I go for truthiness...kind of like monagamish. 

When Truth Is Overrated: The Advantages of Dishonesty | Psychology Today

WWW.PSYCHOLOGYTODAY.COM

---

It’s crucial to consider whether it’s kind to share something that might be too unsettling, scary, or...

 

That article is pathetic  road map for people to rationalize their poor behavior when they lack the balls to, or are too lazy to put forth the effort to, be honest.

The only key point that has any validity, and supports your statement on UNMITIGATED Truth, is "speaking tactically and tactfully to another is both polite and strategically beneficial in relationships." Even then, it bears pointing out that, softening the truth is dependent on the type of relationship you want to maintain.

On 5/20/2024 at 7:26 AM, Atyla said:

Absolutely! Spices can indeed play a role in cancer prevention. 

Where was that scientific theory published?

18 hours ago, FaustOust said:

I assume the lies were designed to help build my positive impression of him

I find that statement to be true most of the time. I have typically found it beneficial for any relationship to let the other party know that my impression of them isn't based on the specific factors of A and B, etc.

For example, if someone starts in on an explanation of "why" they were late, I usually interrupt with "the why isn't important. You were delayed, but you are here now. That's all that is important."

My experience has been that when people know I am not judging them on EVERYTHING, they are more relaxed, and consequently more honest about true details of themselves.

8 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

Well shoot. I think providers need to take CPR classes!

Given the number that don't kiss, thank god current guidelines only call for chest compressions!

One of the valuable things I learned here (I believe in a post from @Jamie21) was that profiles on websites aren't just for providers. MY client profile is a great place to share what I think is important about me and our potential encounter. I list right up front what activities I am looking for.

It's been great for efficiency! Often with initial communication the provider immediately opens the topic to "I can do X," OR "I do not do X."

On 5/18/2024 at 4:24 AM, Moox said:

I don't think I can afford the vax,

So, today is nearly a month since you posted here about HPV, and your lesion was removed the week before your post. In all that time you still don't even know what the cost would be to pay for vaccination YOURSELF??? I am not sure what you think we are going to conclude from that, but to be very frank, going through my mind is:

-maybe he's not serious about not spreading HPV

-maybe he'd rather chat here than resume an active sex life

-maybe he just wants pitty

-maybe he's just not that bright

For fucks sake, piss or get off the pot man!

While never having children, I have seen my share raised by family, friends, and peers. I've witnessed children of the same generation behave very differently. I think @DWnyc and @DrownedBoy both hit the nail on the head.

Empathy is certainly the skill that allows people to be respectful and understanding of other's differences and sacrifices.

But lack of empathy is far from simply "generational" or a "symptom" of youth. Like most everything in life, empathy is learned skill. Children who are raised poorly are going to take most things for granted when they leave the home they were raised in. I assume it will take another 10 to 20 years for them to learn that skill. While children who are raised well have a good foundation for empathy, and they continue to further develop that skill for a long time.

https://rentmen.eu/Andybittencurt

13 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I consider myself "bisexual" because I will have sex with BOTH gay men and straight men. 😁

I was very glad I read your ENTIRE post. After reading other posts of yours on here and learning your proclivities, I was taken aback by the first 4 words. They immediately made me wonder if there was a crisis, and you were using some secret code asking us to send HELP! 😉

I automatically changed "weary" to "wary" in my mind, because "cautious" seems to fit much better than "tired" in that sentence.

Seems worth pointing out, that if there was any question of context or intent, the last paragraph of @urbanfetish post makes it fundamentaly obvious he has no problem having sex with bi guys.

"Outside of hiring, wouldn't think twice. If we're going to hook up and no money is involved, there's no issue."

The only logical observation after reading the last paragraph is to assume that his experience with guys stating "bi" in a profile, when the reality was "gay for pay, " hasn't worked well for him. I think most of us would agree that the potential for perceived dishonesty in a profile makes us cautious.

I should have said above, they really do honor their no risk trial statement:

"you’ll discover in the first fifteen minutes that it is BETTER than promised, or conclude without obligation"

I decided it wasn't what I was looking for, and I gave them a partial payment for their time. They thanked me, but they made it very clear that I was not expected to give them any compensation for the 15 min I was there.

Often, MONEY speaks louder than anything else, and by the same token, so does lack of money.

Stop paying, or at least tipping, in advance. My assumption is that if you fail to tip when he doesn't respect your boundaries, he will quickly commit your boundaries to memory.

I have never cared how tall or short a provider was. The only reason I have ever looked was to make a body type/shape estimate (i.e. 170lbs at 6'3 vs 5'3).

Surrounded by a bunch of burly men 6'4 - 6'7 is just another Sunday dinner at Grandma's. And surrounded by a bunch of skinny men 5'3 - 5'8 is just another Sunday dinner at the other Grandma's.

I think I phrased my question poorly. I completely understand the concepts of making sure they look like what they say the look like, and they they provide a good experience. What I don't understand is how or why I would put a huge effort into trying to determine if they were somehow dangerous simply because I met them ONLINE.

When guys reference things like hurting, killing, blackmailing, etc., I don't understand why the online introduction puts me in any more danger than taking home a guy I met 10 mins ago in a bar or any other in person setting.