Be careful of what you tell other members

[LookingAround]

I had a bad experience once. Someone pretending to be a customer wanted to know what a certain masseur would do in our sessions. I told him and it turned out he was a straight friend of the masseur who “caught” his friend escorting.

[LaffingBear]

The overwhelming majority of forum members are good, honest, and supportive people. We may like more or less each other, but we all agree in the basics of keeping it honest and discrete.

However, not only you will eventually find unreliable and gossipy members. If you become more active you will also find some fucked up wacos. One of my regular guys tells me that someone has been calling him, allegedly a forum member, asking for my phone number and private information and warning him about how evil and treacherous I am. Another of my regulars tells me some one (I do not know whether he is the same crazy or they are two) has been calling him warning about me being HIV+ and purposely spreading the infection.

 

Like in another human environment, you will find here the best and the worst. Just jump to the pool, there is no other way to know who the good swimmers are.

 

Defines social media in general.... some of the best and worst with a sprinkling of fucked-up wackos.

[+ WilliamM]

It gets worse. Once a journalist registered here contacted me without mentioning until very late that he would write publicly about what I said. He did give me a chance to make some edits. The escort was well known.

[MikeBiDude]

Yes beware disclosing too much in PM’s. I’ve had private info I trusted someone to used against me in public postings later.

[big-n-tall]

Some randos get bent out of shape if your 411 reply isn't a porn-quality script with every detail of the encounter.

 

Well the last person I blocked wanted the number/info of a "seemingly" retired guy. By happenstance, I still had the escorts number because he occasionally texted to say hello.

 

Long story short... I asked the "seemingly" retired escort if he wanted me to give out his number. He said he didn't want to give it out. The escort said if the guy (who wanted to know) knew him well, he wouldn't have to ask me for any contact info. That he'd have that info or could easily look him up.

 

I politely told the forum member the escort didn't want to give out his number. So the poster got pissy and tried to demean me. So I got pissy right back... said what I needed to say and blocked him.

[cany10011]

Wow...usually things shared are in confidence. Plus, just because one person had a negative experience does not indicate Someone else might have a similar one. That individual should be called out and banned for period of time.

[cautious]

What an eye opening thread - while I limit personally identifying details, I’ve found the PMs to be most valuable in helping me dodge bullets, and I hope in a few cases I’ve helped others with the same. In my experience I’ve gotten far more honest (candid) feedback about potential hires in PM than the forum or reviews.

 

A good lesson in additional caution. Thanks for sharing.

[Kippy]

You can take the girl out of 7th grade, but you can't take 7th grade out of the girl. Like the penchant some on the forum some have for name calling and personal attacks-- so too is the catty spreading of gossip and inappropriate chatter out of their control. The only thing missing is the little hand held paper fortune tellers which are so much a part of junior high life. Let the New Years resolutions begin!

 

Happy Holidays,

 

Kipp

[Kenny]

It gets worse. Once a journalist registered here contacted me without mentioning until very late that he would write publicly about what I said. He did give me a chance to make some edits. The escort was well known.

Wow. That journalist sounds very unethical. S/he’s supposed to disclose whether the contact is for reporting purposes, and not to do that on a social site is pretty bad.

[Chuckball]

I am always uncomfortable relying on negative reviews especially when what is being reviewed is a highly personal service. Everyone has on or off days and masseurs and escorts are no exception. What might be an off-putting experience for one client may be totally satisfactory to another. I recently recommended an escort I have hired who has a beard. I find this extremely sexy. The person asking for the recommendation looked at the escort's RM ad and found the beard to be "distracting". The point is that what may be a negative for one person may be highly desirable to another. There are comments such as rudeness, uncleanliness, dishonesty, etc. that can be commented on objectively. Reviews that centre on personal attributes should be viewed skeptically.

Edited December 24, 2017 by Chuckball

[+ newatthis]

What an eye opening thread - while I limit personally identifying details, I’ve found the PMs to be most valuable in helping me dodge bullets, and I hope in a few cases I’ve helped others with the same. In my experience I’ve gotten far more honest (candid) feedback about potential hires in PM than the forum or reviews.

 

A good lesson in additional caution. Thanks for sharing.

Exactly my reaction. I am loathe to give up the information-sharing that goes on in PM's, which has been very valuable to me (and vice-versa, I hope). It would be almost impossible for someone who doesn't already know me to deduce anything that would identify me from what I write, and I don't believe anything I've written in a PM would allow an escort or masseur to identify me. I don't share my participation here with guys I hire (other than those who have become friends). I will be a little more aware of what I write in PM's in the future, but I'm not going to stop.

[KeepItReal]

From the comments here, I am beginning to think that I may have been a little too trusting in my PM's in the past. Thanks for raising awareness...

[caliguy]

He then contacted that disappointment and relayed to him my remarks.

Sounds like a real douchebag. That or maybe he already knows the guy.

[+ José Soplanucas]

No need to over react. These events occur here as seldom, or if you prefer as often as in any other ambits of life. We should not trust blindly anyone here or in any other place, virtual or not.

[Golem]

Yikes.

 

I can imagine how a well-meaning (if somewhat naive) member could end up giving this info to an escort without thinking it through, due to pressure from the escort in the moment.

 

But what I have a harder time understanding is the step that comes before it: why any potential client would share with an escort they haven't met, that they are turning them down because they got negative feedback about them. Why in the world would you want to antagonize someone in that way? (Especially if the negative report involved behavior and not just talent.)

[caliguy]

 

why any potential client would share with an escort they haven't met, that they are turning them down because they got negative feedback about them. Why in the world would you want to antagonize someone in that way? (Especially if the negative report involved behavior and not just talent.)

I'm inclined to believe anything after hearing the other OP (Jomo) talk about the escort divorcing him because he bragged about finding shit about him through online research. There are people that just don't understand boundries.

[+ honcho]

I'm wondering how folks here would feel if the Original Poster disclosed the user ID of the forum member who violated his trust? Seems like fair retribution and public protection. Of course, there's nothing to prevent the violator from abandoning that identity and setting up a new one ...

[+ WilliamM]

Wow. That journalist sounds very unethical. S/he’s supposed to disclose whether the contact is for reporting purposes, and not to do that on a social site is pretty bad.

 

He did agree with all my suggested edits. I did read the article to be sure.

Edited December 24, 2017 by WilliamM

[+ José Soplanucas]

I'm wondering how folks here would feel if the Original Poster disclosed the user ID of the forum member who violated his trust? Seems like fair retribution and public protection. Of course, there's nothing to prevent the violator from abandoning that identity and setting up a new one ...

 

Dear @honcho, my only and obvious concern would be why to trust the OP?

[+ nycman]

If I have something positive to say, I have no problem responding politely to a PM.

 

However, as a rule, I don't include ANY real incriminating details.

 

If I have negative things to say, I don't respond unless I know the poster well.

Even then I tend to just say "It didn't go well for me. Your mileage may vary."

Real scams - I have no problem calling them out in the forums so PMs are pointless.

 

Also, I don't respond at all to strangers who PM me trying to get the name

of an escort/masseur I mention in a post. If I didn't mention their name it in my post.....

why would I PM it to a stranger?....I don't see any difference in the two encounters.

[+ oldNbusted]

Yikes.

 

I can imagine how a well-meaning (if somewhat naive) member could end up giving this info to an escort without thinking it through, due to pressure from the escort in the moment.

 

But what I have a harder time understanding is the step that comes before it: why any potential client would share with an escort they haven't met, that they are turning them down because they got negative feedback about them. Why in the world would you want to antagonize someone in that way? (Especially if the negative report involved behavior and not just talent.)

 

I think you partially answered your own question, as I suspect most commonly it's a combination of naïveté and thinking with the little head, not really malicious intent.

 

Edit to say I consider PMs private and would not disclose them.

[+ glutes]

I have a new member that keeps PM'ing questions of a escort that made remarks about here. Now they have gone into the personal, and I won't respond.

[bigvalboy]

. Now, that escort is texting me to ask why I'm negatively reviewing him.

 

It could be worse, I've had escorts who didn't like private responses I made to them, retaliate by posting disparaging comments on their blogs and hateful images on their Twitter account. My advice? Don't put escorts on pedestals. Learn to protect your privacy, and learn to call them out when they cross the line.

[marylander1940]

I have a new member that keeps PM'ing questions of a escort that made remarks about here. Now they have gone into the personal, and I won't respond.

 

That has happened to me before, I reply most of the time but only if they make an effort to ask coherent questions.

[+ glutes]

Can I ask what was he like as a person.

Does he practice safe methods too?