Mo Mason Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Is this common among us? I suffer. How do you deal with it? Other than hiring. Personally, I self-medicate with beer - a lot of it. Probably enough to kill me by the time I'm 50. (it sucks, you guys... I don't have friends. Even my family doesn't like me) I don't really want to kill myself, but it does tend to make the most sense.... marylander1940 and Mocha 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ purplekow Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Depression is something which one should not deal with alone. Seek out medical help. The combination of depression and alcoholism can be deadly. Again, seeking help is the first step. You may find that by stopping your self medication with beer, which in itself is a depressant, you may start to see solutions to other life crises. Support groups, such as AA may give you guidance in facing the difficulties which have led to alcohol being such a strong force in your life. In addition, AA may serve as one way of starting to connect on a social level. Only you can take the first step. You may be surprised how many people will reach out the hoist you up once you stretch out a hand and ask for help. It may be a long journey, but please take the first step. SuperJunior, Mo Mason, + Eric Hassan and 7 others 9 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Despardo Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 I had for an extended period of unemployment been taking Celexa, a mild serotonin uptake inhibitor. I stopped it a couple years back, but had the prescription refilled after last November's election. It helps to curb bouts of depression and sleepless nights--very few side effects. My doctor suggested I stop watching the news, profoundly unhelpful advice. I did go back to work part time which really has helped--more human interaction. + Eric Hassan, Mo Mason, + BuzzBuddy and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocha Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 http://emilysquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/EmilysQuotes.Com-funny-people-Intelligence-William-Gibson.jpg gallahadesquire, + glutes, + WmClarke and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo Mason Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Not assholes, Mocha... I'm surrounded by "Christians." Even worse. TruthBTold, + Italiano, MartyB and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo Mason Posted August 31, 2017 Author Share Posted August 31, 2017 Thanks to y'all. Unfortunately, I do suffer alone, for many reasons. I can't even share a waiting room at the doctor's office without feeling self-conscious and anxious. I've suffered from major depression since Clinton was in office, so I can't really blame anything on Donald Trump. Becket 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocha Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 (edited) Depression is something which one should not deal with alone. Seek out medical help. The combination of depression and alcoholism can be deadly. Again, seeking help is the first step. You may find that by stopping your self medication with beer, which in itself is a depressant, you may start to see solutions to other life crises. Support groups, such as AA may give you guidance in facing the difficulties which have led to alcohol being such a strong force in your life. In addition, AA may serve as one way of starting to connect on a social level. Only you can take the first step. You may be surprised how many people will reach out the hoist you up once you stretch out a hand and ask for help. It may be a long journey, but please take the first step. Not to discredit your advice, but I knew atleast 2 people who went to AA or rehab and it didn't do shit long term. They went right back to drinking within days. And I'm talking about hardcore drinking. I don't know what's missing with those programs since I've never been, but it goes deeper. Some people have just had rough lives, or alcoholism and drug use is in their DNA, generational curses passed down from the father's father's great great grandfather. Such things need to be addressed and maybe spiritually assesed through getting deep into the nitty gritty of such family issues that weigh people down. Alcoholics Anonymous does not really address such issues. I think a personal therapist would be more effective as they take you 1 on 1 and really dig in deep...for $200 an hour. But I would find someone who you can feel comfortable with because sometimes therapist can be offensive, but it's different than some random, non licensed therapist on the internet just talking shit about you. Not assholes, Mocha... I'm surrounded by "Christians." Even worse. Let's just be clear. Christians are people too. People sin and judge and then die. It's not because they're Christians, it's because they are people. I have had to learn in life, and still learning...to stop fucking with people. If they're not helping me in my business, or trying to be a team in my personal life, fuck em. I just turned 30 and I used to get depressed and down over guys I dated, nowadays I'm quick to tell them F YOU. I don't give a damn if you don't like me or not. The gay world is a cesspool of depression because you're dealing with many people who grew up being told by their parents or guardians that they are nothing. So they bring that neglected mindset into relationships and friendships (oftentimes with reckless disregards of their bodies with various drug paraphanelia and addictions) not understanding....how it hurts all of us. Once you get it, meaning you understand most of us are all dealing with these issues one way or another...and condemn those on the forum and in real life who make fun of, tease and further add to the catty, oppressive ways of the gay man which creates habitats for depression and anxiety, we can become a better subculture. We all have to step in this together. Sometimes when I'm at gay bars, I hear gay guys talking to their friends like trash. One guy in Orlando was talking about work, and his gay friend told him loudly to shut the fuck up and stop talking about work after 5 pm. The guy looked away quite depressed. I wanted to mind my business, but I should have said something. But then, when 49 people get killed or a mass workplace shooting occurs...everyone can't believe it happened. That applies to everyone. Edited August 31, 2017 by Mocha + augustus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ purplekow Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Not to discredit your advice, but I knew atleast 2 people who went to AA or rehab and it didn't do shit long term. They went right back to drinking within days. And I'm talking about hardcore drinking. I don't know what's missing with those programs since I've never been, but it goes deeper. Some people have just had rough lives, or alcoholism and drug use is in their DNA, generational curses passed down from the father's father's great great grandfather. Such things need to be addressed and maybe spiritually assesed through getting deep into the nitty gritty of such family curses that weigh people down. Alcoholics Anonymous does not really address such issues. I know two people who crossed the street and got hit by a car. So we should recommend that people not cross the street? No matter our genetics, we have choices. No matter our personal circumstances, we have choices. No matter how impoverished financially, spiritually, physically, we have choices. Others have overcome struggles we can not even imagine because they realized they had choices and they made them. Wallow or opt for change. Look for help and helpers, or blame a family curse. The option is yours. Choose wisely. Choose success. And in the immortal words of the t shirt that clung to George Micheal's young, firm, hairy chest Choose Life. ttps:// + robear, + WilliamM, TruthBTold and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mocha Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 I know two people who crossed the street and got hit by a car. So we should recommend that people not cross the street? No matter our genetics, we have choices. No matter our personal circumstances, we have choices. No matter how impoverished financially, spiritually, physically, we have choices. Others have overcome struggles we can not even imagine because they realized they had choices and they made them. Wallow or opt for change. Look for help and helpers, or blame a family curse. The option is yours. Choose wisely. Choose success. And in the immortal words of the t shirt that clung to George Micheal's young, firm, hairy chest Choose Life. ttps:// Yes, you're absolutely right. But you're being silly and missing the point. I'm not saying a person can't do any of those things. But, you have to recognize those patterns and address them FIRST. You're putting the cart before the Mustang boo boo, and the horse is about to run wild, and leave someone in the dust. You can't just jump from depression and anxiety to instant empowerment when there's still demons haunting you that need to be addressed and laid to rest. Look, you ain't talking to someone who don't know. I've seen first hand. I've seen it over and over and over. I've seen people who used to be succesful, then they lose it, get on drugs, and the great great grandfather or whoever in their DNA comes back with a vengeance and holds them hostage for a good part of their lives. Anyhow, this is getting too far away from the main topic. But, what you're saying is all feel good material that sounds empowering, but if the person doesn't have the tools to overcome then, it'll just further frustrate them and relinquish them to depression. You say have a choice. To do what? Choose between a beer or a Zanax? You make it sound like someone chooses to be depressed. Or anxious. Or lonely. And that's just wrong. Everything you're saying to me, you're saying to the OP and it's probably making him feel less empowered. One of my client friends makes 150,000 a year, has his life on track, yadda yadda. But he is on anxiety meds. I asked him why, and you know what he started telling me about? His family (and he's in his 50s, never married nor kids. So it not marital family but blood family) . So you can't discount the power that these things have. I realize it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Courage Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Is this common among us? I suffer. How do you deal with it? Yes, those are common, including the suicidal ideation. I deal with them by counseling, meds, and working very hard to make and maintain what relationships I can (friends and family) so I'm not by myself. Hell, I'll go places where there are people just not to be by myself. It's still very hard--mental conditions persist sometimes no matter what you do. There are an awful lot of people who suffer an awful lot. I hope you find your way, whatever it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallahadesquire Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 http://emilysquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/EmilysQuotes.Com-funny-people-Intelligence-William-Gibson.jpg Author of Neuromancer, the book that first used the word "cyberspace". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ nycman Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Mo, I echo what others here have said and encourage you to take the first step. Recovery is a long and painful road...that often takes you as much backward as forward, but in the end you will move forward, be it ever so slowly. Everyone finds their own path. For some friends AA has been a godsend. For others it was useless, and perhaps even harmful. I encourage you to keep an open mind and explore many avenues until you find one that works for you. My only trite word of advice is to find something physical that you think you might love that you've never really had the balls to try before. Surfing, scuba, skiing, hiking, weight lifting, rock climbing,....hell it could be competitive macrame....anything!. Then use some of you're "escort money" and hire a beautiful man to train you in that field. You'll be astounded at what you can do when you try. It's worked for me time and again. Alcohol has never worked. In fact, each time I pursue a new path, I quickly realize that the crutch of alcohol is holding me back and it doesn't take long before I drop the crutch and start running on my own. It works for me. I wish you luck on your journey to find what works for you! + Eric Hassan, Deadlift1, + robear and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ sync Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 I can't even share a waiting room at the doctor's office without feeling self-conscious and anxious. That symptom suggests a social anxiety disorder, which is something I experience and was surprised to learn is the third most common emotional disorder on the planet. You may be pleasantly surprised by discussing your symptoms with a professional. PS: Please don't take your own life. GeoMitch, + Eric Hassan, bigvalboy and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ OliverSaks Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Find a (good) therapist. AA is not the place to go for someone who doesn't like being around Christians, and its success rate is abysmal (and is approximately equal to the spontaneous rate of remission of alcohol abuse if you use well-designed studies) - "The Sober Truth" by Dr Dodes is a great (and quick) read for anyone looking to learn more about it. SuperJunior, Despardo, bigvalboy and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Kufrol Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Some people prefer the Rational Recovery approach: http://rational.org/index.php?id=33 SuperJunior and + OliverSaks 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Despardo Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Find a (good) therapist. AA is not the place to go for someone who doesn't like being around Christians, and its success rate is abysmal (and is approximately equal to the spontaneous rate of remission of alcohol abuse if you use well-designed studies) - "The Sober Truth" by Dr Dodes is a great (and quick) read for anyone looking to learn more about it. My friend's cousin Arthur had a drinking problem. Went to AA. Had a remission. Went back to AA. He never resumed drinking, his motivation being that he would do anything to avoid having to go to AA again. + OliverSaks, mike carey, + WmClarke and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Despardo Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 "There is no such thing as paranoia. Disaster can strike at any moment."--Hunter S. Thompson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Despardo Posted August 31, 2017 Share Posted August 31, 2017 Inspiring thought for the day: http://www.naute.com/funimages/fly.gif The Fairly Intelligent Fly! One day a fairly intelligent fly buzzed around the web so long without lighting that the spider appeared and said, "Come on down." But the fly was too clever for him and said, "I never light where I don't see other flies and I don't see other flies in your house." So he flew away until he came to a place where there were a great many other flies. He was about to settle down among them when a bee buzzed up and said, "Hold it stupid, that's flypaper. All those flies are trapped." "Don't be silly," said the fly, "they're dancing." So he settled down and became stuck to the flypaper with all the other flies. Moral: There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else. James Thurber lonely_john 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walker1 Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 I can't even share a waiting room at the doctor's office without feeling self-conscious and anxious. Once upon a time that was me. extremely self conscious, terrified of doing something wrong. Grew out of it, now just don't care-for the most part. Sometimes learning to be a jerk and say f u to people is a real good skill. Funny thing is back then I was way hotter and I get my self confidence when I become an average fattie! marylander1940, SuperJunior, + quoththeraven and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigvalboy Posted September 1, 2017 Share Posted September 1, 2017 Is this common among us? I suffer. How do you deal with it? Other than hiring. Personally, I self-medicate with beer - a lot of it. Probably enough to kill me by the time I'm 50. (it sucks, you guys... I don't have friends. Even my family doesn't like me) I don't really want to kill myself, but it does tend to make the most sense.... Mo...Try winking at that guy in the mirror every morning, and then take @OliverSaks advice (post #14), and for God sake, stop drinking. Good luck! + glutes and SuperJunior 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mo Mason Posted September 1, 2017 Author Share Posted September 1, 2017 Thanks everyone for the kind words. I don't have anyone to talk to so it's nice to be able to come on here and vent anonymously. + WmClarke, spidir, + Kufrol and 5 others 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Despardo Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Once upon a time that was me. extremely self conscious, terrified of doing something wrong. Grew out of it, now just don't care-for the most part. Sometimes learning to be a jerk and say f u to people is a real good skill. Funny thing is back then I was way hotter and I get my self confidence when I become an average fattie! As Helen Mirren said, "The thing I regret in life is not getting to say 'fuck you' more often." + carlos45, bigvalboy, + WmClarke and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ glutes Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Mo...Try winking at that guy in the mirror every morning, and then take @OliverSaks advice (post #14), and for God sake, stop drinking. Good luck! Alcohol is a depressant... + quoththeraven, bigvalboy, lonely_john and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ quoththeraven Posted September 2, 2017 Share Posted September 2, 2017 Alcohol is a depressant... That people too often think is a stimulant because it's a disinhibitor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ glutes Posted March 4, 2018 Share Posted March 4, 2018 Oh, loneliness will blind you in between the wrong and the right. Don Henley and Glenn Frey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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