+ Keith30309 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) Did you pay for their time in the first meeting or just the check? I am trying to figure it out how to function in this place. The escort/client relationship is easier. Never in the first meet (for coffee or whatever). With the two guys I mention there was really only a very vague financial discussion and it was borne out of their needs (tuition in one case and rent in the other). I mentioned an amount but there was no discussion and I simply slip it into a pocket or backpack. There's obviously an element of trust on their part that I'll do the right thing and I think I've upheld my end of the unspoken agreement. I've indirectly asked each if they are OK with the way things are going to make sure there's no unspoken dissatisfaction with the arrangement. This is a really informal approach but it's been sustainable. I've had others that were more overt ("I'll give you $200 a week assuming we're able to get together a couple of times".) The escort/client relationship is definitely easier. Whether it's more rewarding long-term is a question everyone has to answer for themselves. Edited April 18, 2017 by Keith30309 MikeBiDude 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallahadesquire Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 I had a first-time experience. A 44 year old with a handsome avatar sent me a note of how he's a loving man and looking for love and needs substantial (>$10,000 / mo) 'arrangement. I was tempted to report it, but someone else did me the favor. Pity, too; he was good looking. I've been communicating with an adoptee from Romania, who's a social worker and just my type. "Okay," says me, "That's unlikely." I inadvertently [as much as things are inadvertent, when "vetting" someone online, which is akin to stalking ... really, I wasn't ...] found a video of him online. Nice kid. He's not looking for money; he just needs someone to look out for him for awhile.I've invited him to Boston (on my dime) and have no idea if sex will be involved. We've already determined that cuddling will be. So you never know. MikeBiDude 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kenny Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 I think common sense applies just as it would with any escort or in-law: if someone asks you to send them money then you'll likely never see it again. :D:p!!! MikeBiDude 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ José Soplanucas Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) Never in the first meet (for coffee or whatever). With the two guys I mention there was really only a very vague financial discussion and it was borne out of their needs (tuition in one case and rent in the other). I mentioned an amount but there was no discussion and I simply slip it into a pocket or backpack. There's obviously an element of trust on their part that I'll do the right thing and I think I've upheld my end of the unspoken agreement. I've indirectly asked each if they are OK with the way things are going to make sure there's no unspoken dissatisfaction with the arrangement. This is a really informal approach but it's been sustainable. I've had others that were more overt ("I'll give you $200 a week assuming we're able to get together a couple of times".) The escort/client relationship is definitely easier. Whether it's more rewarding long-term is a question everyone has to answer for themselves. The difficulty I see (and I am willing to explore) is the lack of that clear boundary we have in our dealings with escorts. There is a clear contract for both parts, anything else is an extra, a very welcome extra indeed. In SA the relationship is confusing. A guy just asked me for 150 to go to have diner and to the movies with him. I want sex. Edited April 18, 2017 by latbear4blk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ Keith30309 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 The difficulty I see (and I am willing to explore) is that clear boundary we have in our dealings with escorts. There is a clear contract for both parts, anything else is an extra, a very welcome extra indeed. In SA the relationship is confusing. A guy just asked me for 150 to go to have diner and to the movies with him. I want sex. Me too. I've made it pretty obvious to those I spend any time with that physical intimacy is part of any sustainable arrangement. That said, these guys aren't pros and the idea of that sort of arrangement is usually new to them and takes some getting accustomed to. Some haven't even done allot of dating. I enjoy dinners and have taken one guy to a spa and movies but ultimately, when I go to someone's apartment or they come to my hotel room, there's not allot of ambiguity. I understand and support guys who need a little time getting to know me and I think everyone is happy with how things turn out. I don't want to have a physical experience that is uncomfortable for someone and bring things to an end before it gets to that point. I'd just have a heart to heart with your guy and make it clear that you both have to be satisfied for there to be a second meeting and suggest a nightcap at your place. rguer, + goosh69, + José Soplanucas and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ goosh69 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 I agree with all of this^, but am disappointed when, before we even meet for coffee or Skype or whatever, they start asking about money or "how generous " you are. It's too much too soon. I don't ask them up front the sort of intimate questions one asks a rent boy, so why do they start haggling on price? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rguer Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 I had a first-time experience. A 44 year old with a handsome avatar sent me a note of how he's a loving man and looking for love and needs substantial (>$10,000 / mo) 'arrangement. I was tempted to report it, but someone else did me the favor. Pity, too; he was good looking. I wouldn't mind an extra $10,000 a month tax-free myself! Even though I have what some might consider a reasonable income, I wouldn't mind being able to fly 1st Class all the time. Are these arrangements tax-free legally? That is, is the money considered taxable employment income or a non-taxable gift? I've been communicating with an adoptee from Romania, who's a social worker and just my type. "Okay," says me, "That's unlikely." I inadvertently [as much as things are inadvertent, when "vetting" someone online, which is akin to stalking ... really, I wasn't ...] found a video of him online. Nice kid. He's not looking for money; he just needs someone to look out for him for awhile.I've invited him to Boston (on my dime) and have no idea if sex will be involved. We've already determined that cuddling will be. So you never know. He was adopted from Romania, has grown up, and now lives in the US? That's a difficult situation. Not as bad as an aged-out foster child, perhaps, but still not good. Let us know what happens, please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeBiDude Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 . Check all your preference settings to thin out the herd You know...I'm trying to filter my incoming messages to people that live within "xxx miles" using the slider tool. But, mail keeps coming into my inbox from distant members. Any hints on other settings Tom"thin out the herd "? I think it's just not workinG for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gallahadesquire Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 He was adopted from Romania, has grown up, and now lives in the US? That's a difficult situation. Not as bad as an aged-out foster child, perhaps, but still not good. Let us know what happens, please. He was adopted at age five by someone here in the United States, so he grew up here. He's a sweet kid, and I think he's lonely.And we have interests that compliment each other. + Keith30309 and MikeBiDude 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ PapaTony Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 You know...I'm trying to filter my incoming messages to people that live within "xxx miles" using the slider tool. But, mail keeps coming into my inbox from distant members. Any hints on other settings Tom"thin out the herd "? I think it's just not workinG for me. . Might be on their end, such as hiding their location possibly which would circumvent your settings (?) I'm not certain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeBiDude Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 . Might be on their end, such as hiding their location possibly which would circumvent your settings (?) I'm not certain Seems to have filtered a couple by distance today, but also one close to me, so it's whacked out for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ goosh69 Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 They lie about and change their location. So many who WANT to live in NYC or LA say those places in their profile but are really all kinds of other places. I've noticed quite a few who say "I actually live in Florida but you could fly me there" or " once I graduate I want to move there." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ José Soplanucas Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 I may have a first date this Friday. Lets see. I am feeling skeptical, I think this is better for gentlemen with pockets bigger than mines. + goosh69 and + g56whiz 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ glutes Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 In dealing with people who have contacted you on SA, how do you weed out a hustler? hustler [huhs-ler] Examples Word Origin See more synonyms on Thesaurus.com noun 1. an enterprising person determined to succeed; go-getter. 2. Slang. a person who employs fraudulent or unscrupulous methods toobtain money; swindler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonyko Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 I may get lambasted for saying what I think about this site but the word "ARRANGEMENT" is in the title and the boys LIST the level of financial support they "expect" High Moderate Minimal etc. No matter HOW you slice it you are in essence hiring a scort. Granted, in "some" cases a non-professional, but you're paying someone to be with you on a regular or full-time basis and have sex with you. My bud paid to join looking for someone to live with travel with he's a tad naive he was answering all these boys and I had to say "STOP LOOK" he says New York but he LOGGED IN from Brazil! Or his profile says MEN/WOMEN and all his pics are with a blocked out girl he's STRAIGHT and IF he includes sex it's NOT his pref he'll eventually hate himself and YOU and maybe kill you somewhere in Mexico etc (with the help of the girl in all the pix) If you're looking for ANYTHING more than a boy to have on retainer to satisfy your needs whenever you choose, then you're looking for tsuris (grief). And if all those honest humble ones saying they really aren't there for the $$$$ they're there because they're genuinely INTO older men were telling the truth, they'd be on a silver daddy site and not there. All that said, there is NOTHING wrong with finding a permanent young man who doesn't run scort ads to whom you will have regular rights to and share perhaps a higher level of intimacy re his and your private lives, but as I said to my bud, keep it real. If he's gay he's having sex with you for $$$ then having sex with guys his own age on the side and if he's straight he's having sex with you for $$$ then buying drinks for girls to have sex with on the side and you MUST be down with that. If you're looking for the gay Pretty Women that was just a movie WITH Richard Gere as YOU lol. WHY not just find a great safe professional scort you click with and hire HIM regularly to be with you accompany you evening out take on vacations etc ?? (K now someone post a great SA love story that proves all of what I said is wrong lol) + glutes, SuperJunior, Good Grief and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ goosh69 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 I may get lambasted for saying what I think about this site but the word "ARRANGEMENT" is in the title and the boys LIST the level of financial support they "expect" High Moderate Minimal etc. No matter HOW you slice it you are in essence hiring a scort. Granted, in "some" cases a non-professional, but you're paying someone to be with you on a regular or full-time basis and have sex with you. My bud paid to join looking for someone to live with travel with he's a tad naive he was answering all these boys and I had to say "STOP LOOK" he says New York but he LOGGED IN from Brazil! Or his profile says MEN/WOMEN and all his pics are with a blocked out girl he's STRAIGHT and IF he includes sex it's NOT his pref he'll eventually hate himself and YOU and maybe kill you somewhere in Mexico etc (with the help of the girl in all the pix) If you're looking for ANYTHING more than a boy to have on retainer to satisfy your needs whenever you choose, then you're looking for tsuris (grief). And if all those honest humble ones saying they really aren't there for the $$$$ they're there because they're genuinely INTO older men were telling the truth, they'd be on a silver daddy site and not there. All that said, there is NOTHING wrong with finding a permanent young man who doesn't run scort ads to whom you will have regular rights to and share perhaps a higher level of intimacy re his and your private lives, but as I said to my bud, keep it real. If he's gay he's having sex with you for $$$ then having sex with guys his own age on the side and if he's straight he's having sex with you for $$$ then buying drinks for girls to have sex with on the side and you MUST be down with that. If you're looking for the gay Pretty Women that was just a movie WITH Richard Gere as YOU lol. WHY not just find a great safe professional scort you click with and hire HIM regularly to be with you accompany you evening out take on vacations etc ?? (K now someone post a great SA love story that proves all of what I said is wrong lol) I'm super cynical but at least one guy I met WAS a young guy into dating older guys and money or gifts never changed hands. So it Does happen. However, MOST important of the guys on the site at least want a rich boyfriend, or in more extreme cases are literally rentmen guys I recognize looking for more steady gigs. The former makes them no different than half the straight wives I know in Manhattan- and not a few of the straight husbands. Income IS very highly correlated with the likelihood that a straight person has multiple marriage opportunities. Fact. And a hot boyfriend/rich boyfriend arrangement is better than an escort one. MikeBiDude 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ glutes Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 And a hot boyfriend/rich boyfriend arrangement is better than an escort one. How is it better? liubit and SuperJunior 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ goosh69 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 How is it better? Huh? You think people don't want boyfriends? Or husbands? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ glutes Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Huh? You think people don't want boyfriends? Or husbands? Not when they are paid... + HornyRetiree and MikeBiDude 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeBiDude Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 And if all those honest humble ones saying they really aren't there for the $$$$ they're there because they're genuinely INTO older men were telling the truth, they'd be on a silver daddy site and not there I agree with the majority of your post. But, I HAVE met quite a few who ARE on SA just bcs they are younger seeking older. Why? I do not know. But say 20% of the friends I've met there are with me for fun and not allowance. Do I pay for coffee at Starbucks, or a hotel, or maybe dinner? Of course! But to those few that are ok with it, I do not offer allowance, it hasn't even come up in a couple cases. Far better batting average on SA for me than silverdaddies.com, and others. I don't refute what that site is there for, why sugarbabies are there, or that I do offer allowance often as not, etc. but with patience I've found "more" there than just those looking fo ca$h. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ goosh69 Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Not when they are paid... But that's all a trophy spouse or SO is, really! MikeBiDude 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ glutes Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Huh? You think people don't want boyfriends? Or husbands? Most people out of a relationship want in, and most people in a relationship want out. bigvalboy, gallahadesquire, + José Soplanucas and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skip Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Well, I have now met four guys on SA. 1. Great guy, great sex but not such a great body, 30 yo. 2. Charming guy, great body, looking for a boy friend, not just an arrangement and the sex was so so.26yo 3 . Good looking guy 27 yo. Body was not over the top but nice, sex was really just a do me session, but a very enjoyable guy. 4. Adorable hunky muscle guy, great sex and really fun, but expensive. Number 4 was just so perfect its worth the expense that I have now committed to. Since he lives in New York and alone, gives me a place to visit in New York. When you figure that in he is not really all that expensive. Well, he is still expensive. If you're looking for something regular and either live in NY or LA or are willing to pay for some travel SA is great. You don't get the jaded attitude that escorts often have. There are some that never thought that sex might be a part of the arrangement, yeah right. There are some straight guys that are just financially desperate. There are a lot of 25-30 YO gay guys working, going to school and just looking for a boost to their income and a trip or some new clothes. Gym bodies, college educated, and generally hot. All in all SA is a great site but probably more expensive that Rent men. pubic_assistance, + glutes and tennisjock 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ glutes Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 But that's all a trophy spouse or SO is, really! Really. marylander1940 and + azdr0710 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+ goosh69 Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 And your point? Gay men and straight men alike mostly ONLY date and marry people who meet some exhaustive list of physical attributes. That is somehow better than dating or marrying someone who makes or has money? Plus looks fade. Money earns interest Nebost and pubic_assistance 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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