When an Escort Has a "Substance" Problem....

[NipLuvr212]

What do you do?

I have known people casually with substance abuse issues, but I have recently had an encounter with an escort who totally takes it to an extreme.

What would you do?

"Out" this person and probably ruin their only source of income? Take the abuse they hurl at you for not enabling them? Just block and move on? 

Problem is that the person is clearly in pain and has few alternatives - more of a dilemma than it might seem, and the easy solutions are not that easy after all. (After all, he might be a fuck up but he is still a human being, right?)

Thanks for letting me vent.

[mtaabq]

Not sure if you just wanted to vent or are actively seeking suggestions … I’d go “block and move on”. Dude can’t be helped until he wants help. Trite but true. Kudos to you for recognizing his humanity. 

[+ glutes]

1 hour ago, NipLuvr212 said:

Just block and move on? 

Yup.

[DunwoodyGuy]

Sad to say, but you can't fix an addict. He has to want to help himself. Meanwhile, walk away immediately or you will become co-dependent. 

[NipLuvr212]

40 minutes ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

Sad to say, but you can't fix an addict. He has to want to help himself. Meanwhile, walk away immediately or you will become co-dependent. 

It is soooo true -- I can see manifestations of real manic behaviors - reaching out for help followed by bizarre fits of anger

Gotta be more careful with the choices I make, haha

[DunwoodyGuy]

7 hours ago, NipLuvr212 said:

It is soooo true -- I can see manifestations of real manic behaviors - reaching out for help followed by bizarre fits of anger

Gotta be more careful with the choices I make, haha

Nothing to haha about. 

[+ purplekow]

If you are inclined to help him, start by telling him you are willing to help him get clean but you are not willing to help him continue to use.  If he accepts that, you can move forward.  If there is any kind of push back from that simple hand out, then you need to tell him when he has a different answer, he may call but your help offer requirements will not change.  

If you have no experience dealing with addicts, this is not an easy situation and you should probably offer to get him information on withdrawal and then walk away.  

The people who suggested that he will not get help until he wants help are  correct but sometimes, addicts may be nudged toward wanting help.  However, they will play you if you let them and you will not even know you have been played.  Addicts will lie with impunity.  They will steal from you.  They will beg for help and then disappear only to resurface.  If you do not know this person well, if you do not have a close bond with him, he will play on your emotions and then, if he is not getting what he wants, turn on you on a dime.  

So if you do decide to help, be warned and be careful.  

[+ SirBillybob]

I try to find ones with substance.

[DunwoodyGuy]

7 hours ago, purplekow said:

If you are inclined to help him, start by telling him you are willing to help him get clean but you are not willing to help him continue to use.  If he accepts that, you can move forward.  If there is any kind of push back from that simple hand out, then you need to tell him when he has a different answer, he may call but your help offer requirements will not change.  

If you have no experience dealing with addicts, this is not an easy situation and you should probably offer to get him information on withdrawal and then walk away.  

The people who suggested that he will not get help until he wants help are  correct but sometimes, addicts may be nudged toward wanting help.  However, they will play you if you let them and you will not even know you have been played.  Addicts will lie with impunity.  They will steal from you.  They will beg for help and then disappear only to resurface.  If you do not know this person well, if you do not have a close bond with him, he will play on your emotions and then, if he is not getting what he wants, turn on you on a dime.  

So if you do decide to help, be warned and be careful.  

Everything you say is true, but given the OP's "haha" reaction, I doubt he has the strength or wisdom that you possess. He won't know when he's being played. 

[NipLuvr212]

1 hour ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

Everything you say is true, but given the OP's "haha" reaction, I doubt he has the strength or wisdom that you possess. He won't know when he's being played. 

Useful.

[+ PhileasFogg]

Some guys can handle their addiction.  It’s when it becomes a problem to their reliability and presence that it matters. At that point, cut bait and move on