Not Attracted

[Newbie_To_The Game]

What is the protocol if you meet with the escort and find them unattractive?

Profile may have outdated pictures, I’ve even seen mention of someone having rotten teeth.

Do you give them some money for the inconvenience?

[+ Pensant]

It’s rarely happened. When they’ve clearly misrepresented themselves, I point that out and give them a portion of their fee if they’re otherwise friendly. 

[maninsoma]

It depends on how far out the misrepresentation was.  If the guy is reasonably similar (maybe just slightly heavier or older or something), I've frequently just gone through with the appointment.  If the misrepresentation is more significant, I simply tell them that they don't resemble the person I contacted and I leave without paying anything.  Fortunately I have only had to do that a couple of times.

I want to address one of the things you mentioned, though: rotten teeth.  This is the kind of thing that I think deserves extra consideration on the part of the client before hiring someone if the straightness of someone's teeth is going to turn them off such that they want to cancel the appointment.  I'm not referring to literally rotting teeth that would make someone's breath horrible.  I think that if this is important to you then hire only guys who have at least one photo showing their smile with an open mouth, or ask them about it before hiring them.  I don't think it's a misrepresentation for an escort to fail to mention in his ad that he could benefit from orthodontia; he might not really be bothered by his teeth and doesn't really think about how others might perceive them.  This isn't like how much body fat someone has; that's going to be somewhat apparent, even if the guy is clothed, as long as he has recent photos.  

[Newbie_To_The Game]

3 hours ago, maninsoma said:

It depends on how far out the misrepresentation was.  If the guy is reasonably similar (maybe just slightly heavier or older or something), I've frequently just gone through with the appointment.  If the misrepresentation is more significant, I simply tell them that they don't resemble the person I contacted and I leave without paying anything.  Fortunately I have only had to do that a couple of times.

I want to address one of the things you mentioned, though: rotten teeth.  This is the kind of thing that I think deserves extra consideration on the part of the client before hiring someone if the straightness of someone's teeth is going to turn them off such that they want to cancel the appointment.  I'm not referring to literally rotting teeth that would make someone's breath horrible.  I think that if this is important to you then hire only guys who have at least one photo showing their smile with an open mouth, or ask them about it before hiring them.  I don't think it's a misrepresentation for an escort to fail to mention in his ad that he could benefit from orthodontia; he might not really be bothered by his teeth and doesn't really think about how others might perceive them.  This isn't like how much body fat someone has; that's going to be somewhat apparent, even if the guy is clothed, as long as he has recent photos.  

Yes, I meant the extreme, I wouldn’t expect to be unattracted to someone because of crooked teeth or a gap.   I would want to he respectful and make sure they are compensated for their time 

[StarQualityLuke]

4 hours ago, maninsoma said:

It depends on how far out the misrepresentation was.  If the guy is reasonably similar (maybe just slightly heavier or older or something), I've frequently just gone through with the appointment.  If the misrepresentation is more significant, I simply tell them that they don't resemble the person I contacted and I leave without paying anything.  Fortunately I have only had to do that a couple of times.

I want to address one of the things you mentioned, though: rotten teeth.  This is the kind of thing that I think deserves extra consideration on the part of the client before hiring someone if the straightness of someone's teeth is going to turn them off such that they want to cancel the appointment.  I'm not referring to literally rotting teeth that would make someone's breath horrible.  I think that if this is important to you then hire only guys who have at least one photo showing their smile with an open mouth, or ask them about it before hiring them.  I don't think it's a misrepresentation for an escort to fail to mention in his ad that he could benefit from orthodontia; he might not really be bothered by his teeth and doesn't really think about how others might perceive them.  This isn't like how much body fat someone has; that's going to be somewhat apparent, even if the guy is clothed, as long as he has recent photos.  

Everyone should just be respectful of the other and always be clean and refreshed.

[+ purplekow]

When I first started hiring back in the dark ages, one of my first hires, actually my second hire, had a photo of a 20 something, muscular man with a full head of hair and no tattoos.  I was waiting in a motel room and saw him exit his vehicle.  He was older, had multiple visible tattoos, bald abd bit as defubed, though still very muscular.  Now, I know many would send him away or not answer the door.  I took a deep breath and went through with the appointment.  I am glad I did.  I had a great time with him.  He was kind, and funny and very talented in bed.  His body was terrific and the tattoos did not seem to be a distraction that they initially appeared they might.  He became a regular and a friend and I was even asked to be the best man at his wedding.  The wedding did not come off and unfortunately, soon soon. after, he became ill related to renal failure and he died related to that soon after.  

I would suggest, that it may be worth going through with an appointment if the person you hired shows up, even if there is not an immediate spark.  If you are going to pay him anyway, you might as well see if there is something to salvage from the meeting.  Sometimes salvage operations yield hidden treasures.  And after all, having sex with someone to whom you are not amazingly attracted  is something excorts and drunk guys at 2AM do all the time.  We all probably have done it.

The worst that can happen is that the encounter will be bad, but my philosophy is, even bad sex is better than no sex.  

 

[DMonDude]

38 minutes ago, purplekow said:

When I first started hiring back in the dark ages, one of my first hires, actually my second hire, had a photo of a 20 something, muscular man with a full head of hair and no tattoos.  I was waiting in a motel room and saw him exit his vehicle.  He was older, had multiple visible tattoos, bald abd bit as defubed, though still very muscular.  Now, I know many would send him away or not answer the door.  I took a deep breath and went through with the appointment.  I am glad I did.  I had a great time with him.  He was kind, and funny and very talented in bed.  His body was terrific and the tattoos did not seem to be a distraction that they initially appeared they might.  He became a regular and a friend and I was even asked to be the best man at his wedding.  The wedding did not come off and unfortunately, soon soon. after, he became ill related to renal failure and he died related to that soon after.  

I would suggest, that it may be worth going through with an appointment if the person you hired shows up, even if there is not an immediate spark.  If you are going to pay him anyway, you might as well see if there is something to salvage from the meeting.  Sometimes salvage operations yield hidden treasures.  And after all, having sex with someone to whom you are not amazingly attracted  is something excorts and drunk guys at 2AM do all the time.  We all probably have done it.

The worst that can happen is that the encounter will be bad, but my philosophy is, even bad sex is better than no sex.  

 

You're more tolerant than i. Glad he ended up becoming a friend of yours and you had a good time with him. But to me personally, someone actively catfishing you is not the same as beer goggles or what the escorts do when they engage with a client they aren't attracted to. I personally can never go through with hookups/meets with guys who use fake/decades old photos because it rewards the behavior of active/purposeful deceit. Being drunk and hooking up with someone you usually wouldn't when sober is still a choice you made on your own seeing them as they were in that moment.

Your judgement of them may be off due to being drunk but it's still your own judgement of an approximation of what they actually look like in person. An escort is doing so as well to an extent because they are being compensated. The client isn't tricking the escort or being misleading about their looks, the client pays partially so that that their looks don't have to be a deciding factor and the escort is agreeing to that deal.

Someone using fake or highly inaccurate photos to get you to a location to engage with them under pre-meditated false pretense is a very very different thing. It would destroy any sense of trust or safety i would need with that person to engage in the encounter with them because to me if they weren't who they say they are than it's that much more likely that their motivations for being there may not be what they said either, which would create the feeling of being in danger. The worst that could happen is not just bad sex. To me, someone who feels the need to deceive in that way is likely to be there to cause me some sort of physical harm. So that's just a situation i couldn't go through with personally.

Edited Monday at 10:18 PM by DMonDude

[+ purplekow]

DMonDude.  You have a point and if you take that Dmon-ic view of the escort who you are encountering, I cannot argue for going through with the appointment.

I have a more rose collared glasses viewpoint and it has served me well.  It might serve others well too, but it does take a bit of acceptance of the foibles of others.  I do not think the escort  of whom I spoke intended to deceive. The fotos I encountered were on an old web site that may have predated RentBoy.  One should be careful but sometimes making the best of a less than optimal situation can turn out well.    

[DMonDude]

22 minutes ago, purplekow said:

DMonDude.  You have a point and if you take that Dmon-ic view of the escort who you are encountering, I cannot argue for going through with the appointment.

I have a more rose collared glasses viewpoint and it has served me well.  It might serve others well too, but it does take a bit of acceptance of the foibles of others.  I do not think the escort  of whom I spoke intended to deceive. The fotos I encountered were on an old web site that may have predated RentBoy.  One should be careful but sometimes making the best of a less than optimal situation can turn out well.    

It's not really a negative view of the escort, it's just a principle i have in general. I don't deal with people who do things like that in any kind of business or personal relationships. Whatever they have to offer isn't worth the feeling of feeling conned or the feeling that i can't trust them. Active trickery isn't the same as a situation simply just not living up to the hype.

With the added information though. If the providers ad was on an old outdated site they don't update/didn't have access to anymore, then yeah that's a somewhat different story. Though, if when you contacted him and you said something like "hey i found you on (insert old website that predates RentBoy here)" and he didn't then tell you "oh cool, those photos are super old though and i don't look like that anymore" and didn't ask if you're ok with not knowing what he currently looked like. Then, he did indeed knowingly catfish you (and it's fine if you're forgiving of that, but you shouldn't wave away that it happened if that's what he did). Making the best of it doesn't make it ok.

Edited Monday at 11:01 PM by DMonDude

[Nue2thegame]

4 hours ago, purplekow said:

When I first started hiring back in the dark ages, one of my first hires, actually my second hire, had a photo of a 20 something, muscular man with a full head of hair and no tattoos.  I was waiting in a motel room and saw him exit his vehicle.  He was older, had multiple visible tattoos, bald abd bit as defubed, though still very muscular.  Now, I know many would send him away or not answer the door.  I took a deep breath and went through with the appointment.  I am glad I did.  I had a great time with him.  He was kind, and funny and very talented in bed.  His body was terrific and the tattoos did not seem to be a distraction that they initially appeared they might.  He became a regular and a friend and I was even asked to be the best man at his wedding.  The wedding did not come off and unfortunately, soon soon. after, he became ill related to renal failure and he died related to that soon after.  

I would suggest, that it may be worth going through with an appointment if the person you hired shows up, even if there is not an immediate spark.  If you are going to pay him anyway, you might as well see if there is something to salvage from the meeting.  Sometimes salvage operations yield hidden treasures.  And after all, having sex with someone to whom you are not amazingly attracted  is something excorts and drunk guys at 2AM do all the time.  We all probably have done it.

The worst that can happen is that the encounter will be bad, but my philosophy is, even bad sex is better than no sex.  

 

I had a similar experience several years ago with a provider that clearly wasn’t the one advertised but they too, were pleasant, attractive and I had a fun experience that I didn’t regret. I was a bit bothered by the deception and never saw them again. But it does beg the question of what is your threshold for not tolerating an obvious deception? Mine, I learned was relatively high. I came expecting passion and really wasn’t in the mood to transition into an angry confrontation. Clearly, the latter would be called for if egregious enough but the whole risk benefit calculation shifts abruptly and my inclination is to play it safe. Thankfully, my tolerance hasn’t been seriously tested yet. Research is the best way to prevent this. 

[ajvanguard]

I met a guy a couple months ago. Saw him on RM.  texted. Decided to meet at a bar.  He came in.  He was attractive but short and built like a fireplug.  We talked.  I bought him dinner and gave him money for his time but didn’t go through with the service.  I wanted someone I can at least look reasonably look into their eyes

[+ purplekow]

7 hours ago, ajvanguard said:

I met a guy a couple months ago. Saw him on RM.  texted. Decided to meet at a bar.  He came in.  He was attractive but short and built like a fireplug.  We talked.  I bought him dinner and gave him money for his time but didn’t go through with the service.  I wanted someone I can at least look reasonably look into their eyes

Love me some short muscular guys.  If you would PM the name.  One man's dinner is another man's hot roll in the sack.  

If you want to look into his eyes, lay him down on the bad and fuck him missionary or if you prefer vice versa or even both. 

Edited 22 hours ago by purplekow

[+ Just Chuck]

For a boyfriend experience that I’m going to hire for, I do expect the guy I hire to be attractive enough that I would date him in a non-paying relationship.  If he arrives and is less attractive than that, it’s all a matter of degree and what else is in the totality of circumstances.  If he quoted a very low rate and seems enthusiastic to try to deliver a good experience, maybe I’ll go through with it.  

I’ve hired very good looking people who delivered very poor performances and I think. I’d rather have a “we try harder” less-attractive date.

If they advertised a skillset more than a look, I might go through with it.  Someone who primarily advertises as an erotic masseur (on whatever platform) or as a BDSM dom or sub, or some other specific skillset like “the best, longest-lasting, edging oral you've ever experienced” might get my business in spite of the look.

 

[Mark_fl]

For me, it all depends on if they look like their pictures. Face it, this is a very visual business. Between photoshop, age-shaving, size-exaggerating, and apparently height exaggeration,  there are many ways providers deceive us in order to get the booking.

If they end up not looking like their pictures, I don't think you owe them a dime. Pay for their time? Seriously?  They should pay for wasting yours. What if after the session you gave them money that didn't look like the currency you promised? Fair is fair.

If someone's look changes dramatically (many tattoos, significant weight gain or loss, shaved their head) it is their responsibility to update their pictures. An Italian restaurant won't change to a Mexican menu without changing the signage and website.

Providers want us to respect that this is a business for them, so we should respect that and expect that they behave like one as well. The difference is that in this business, the client has no recourse once he hands over the money.

Edited 19 hours ago by Mark_fl

[Nue2thegame]

7 hours ago, Just Chuck said:

 

If they advertised a skillset more than a look, I might go through with it.  Someone who primarily advertises as an erotic masseur (on whatever platform) or as a BDSM dom or sub, or some other specific skillset like “the best, longest-lasting, edging oral you've ever experienced” might get my business in spite of the look.

 

Although I haven’t seen many providers claiming to be “the best”, it’s a red flag for me with any other profession and I avoid them. It’s far more meaningful to me if a reliable reviewer says they’re the best.