Are you truly satisfied with your providers?

[Reggyreg56]

I have not hired a provider in years and I am strongly considering hiring one again soon. But then I remembered when I hired them in the past, the experiences weren't great. I left feeling like I have just been taken advantage of. Maybe it's just me or maybe we are getting the bare minimum from these providers. We pay so much to hire them  and often get back so little or are scammed. I have to ask myself and you all is it really worth it? What do you guys think?

[Nightowl]

It’s a buffet and some of the offerings will be to your liking and some will not.  But you’ve got to try them out or ask people on CoM before you know if they’re worth it.  I’ve found four truly incredible guys in my area (DC)—one of whom I met on this forum—and all of them surprise me when we’re together.  I keep going back to them because I enjoy their company and I want to do my part to keep them in business.  I’ve also met some duds that I won’t hire again.  If you’re getting scammed or routinely disappointed, there might be something wrong with your research.

[Reggyreg56]

You make very good points. I think it might be me. Maybe I am expecting more out of these encounters or maybe I need to screen them more carefully.

[Mark_fl]

I just think you need to be careful and do your homework. Be honest about what you really want and neen to be satisfied. Find a provider that offers that, and make sure you have enough time without feeling rushed. Have a conversation beforehand to make sure you connect,  if that's important to you. Finally, be patient. Don't let your dick lead you to the best provider at the time rather than the best for you. 

I had two disappointing experiences until I made these adjustments and I had a great time. And not interested in another appointment until the planets align the same way again.

 

[Reggyreg56]

15 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

I just think you need to be careful and do your homework. Be honest about what you really want and neen to be satisfied. Find a provider that offers that, and make sure you have enough time without feeling rushed. Have a conversation beforehand to make sure you connect,  if that's important to you. Finally, be patient. Don't let your dick lead you to the best provider at the time rather than the best for you. 

I had two disappointing experiences until I made these adjustments and I had a great time. And not interested in another appointment until the planets align the same way again.

 

Those are great points as well. I think I need to really ask myself what I am looking for. You're right, one size doesn't fit all and maybe the providers I am picking are not the right ones for me.

[marylander1940]

Hell, yeah!

[+ purplekow]

My philosophy is we are all responsible for insuring our own orgasm.  So, if you need something to get you off in a completely satisfactory manner, you need to make sure you get it.  Either through experience with an escort or good communication with the escort, before and after the encounter but most importantly during.  If the escort is not giving me what I need during and encounter, I tell him what i want, or move his hand or mouth where I need it to be or just do what I need as long as he does not stay stop or indicate that it is not okay.  That can be disappointing, but at least I know and go on to something else that can be fun and know that this escort may not be the one for me.  Afterwards, I will tell him that I wanted X and it seems you did not want that.  It is sometimes just bad timing and sometimes it is something we did not discuss which he does not do.  I am also open to being a bit flexible in what I will allow but I do not hesitate to say that something is not working for me and to try this other thing I do like.  

With first time hires, I can give the initial impression of being a timid old man with no stamina and little gumption.  As soon as things start, I quickly discharge them of that notion, often to their surprise and usually to their satisfaction and mine.  

Edited Thursday at 10:41 PM by purplekow

[theplayerking]

I only engage providers that are unashamedly gay, and I look for guys that are proud of (or at least at peace with) what they do. I also try and find guys that seem very sexual in their private lives.

[biph]

First time experience, and it was much more than expected. I’m 72 with ED was so nice to hold a hard dick in my hand Doing this weekly

[+ Gar1eth]

4 hours ago, Reggyreg56 said:

I have not hired a provider in years and I am strongly considering hiring one again soon. But then I remembered when I hired them in the past, the experiences weren't great. I left feeling like I have just been taken advantage of. Maybe it's just me or maybe we are getting the bare minimum from these providers. We pay so much to hire them  and often get back so little or are scammed. I have to ask myself and you all is it really worth it? What do you guys think?

Some background first which some have read before. I was a virgin until I was 41-and I mean a total virgin.  The most I had done was give a short swift kiss on a cheek or the lips to probably less than 10 women in my life. And I don't think I had ever kissed a man. 
 

Why you say? Because I didn't want to be gay.  But finally I felt like I had to have sex. But I still didn't want to be gay. So I finally nerved myself up to hire an escort. I was lucky. He was very kind and took the time to teach me things like how to kiss. 
 

After that because I still didn't want to be gay, and because also I didn't feel I was attractive enough that anyone would really want me, I continued to hire for around 15 years. And because I was solitary I often hired for overnights and weekends. I had a lot of not-so-great or mediocre experiences. But on the other hand I did have a lot of nice times and met some incredibly handsome friendly guys. I probably remember more of the overnights and weekends than I do of the one and two hour meets and not just because of the sex as I am not now and never was a sexual dynamo. 
 

But the point I want to make is that for me -and maybe not every time -but definitely either during a large proportion of the meeting time or afterwards when I had time to reflect, I had some degree of melancholy or wistfulness because I knew it was a paid encounter. 
 

That doesn't mean I didn't have a good time or fun during a lot of  my escort encounters **(see below). But the wistfulness  was often there at the back of my mind. Now the feeling wasn't severe enough to make me stop meeting escorts. In fact two of the best Christmases I ever had as adult (I'm Jewish so Christmas isn't a family time for me-but the season can still feel a little hollow if you're nowhere near your own family and you know most people around you are celebrating) were two consecutive Christmas weekends (I think back in 2015 and 2016) I spent with an escort at his house. 

So if your feelings are anything like mine were, you're going to have figure out if you're having a good enough time to be able to deal with (what is for me)  the omnipresent downside  of hiring. If you can't, then maybe hiring isn't right for you. 
******************************************

**I was in a gay club once-possibly The Cuff in Seattle. They had some posters of porn stars on the wall. I had been with 4 or 5 of them -that definitely gave me some silent satisfaction. And it never would have  occurred if I had never started hiring. 

[mtaabq]

Communication, communication, communication. Clear, honest, candid communication. AND you have to listen to what a provider is telling you. I haven’t had a great many disappointments but two “less than stellar” experiences earlier this year were 1) a failure to clearly communicate what I wanted; and 2) a failure on MY part to listen to what the provider was telling me. My latest experience (Nov) was outstanding thanks to the provider’s willingness to listen to me, and MY focus on what the provider was telling me. That resulted in an amazing session. I regularly vet providers here and by messaging clients who have reviewed them at RM.  If a provider can’t or won’t reasonably engage with me prior to setting a meet, I move on to the next. If you have a client profile on RM pay attention if they reference things you say you want. This hobby is not “one size fits all” but the preceding is what I have found that works for me. 

[mtaabq]

43 minutes ago, theplayerking said:

I only engage providers that are unashamedly gay, and I look for guys that are proud of (or at least at peace with) what they do. I also try and find guys that seem very sexual in their private lives.

PREACH!

[Reggyreg56]

3 hours ago, purplekow said:

My philosophy is we are all responsible for insuring our own orgasm.  So, if you need something to get you off in a completely satisfactory manner, you need to make sure you get it.  Either through experience with an escort or good communication with the escort, before and after the encounter but most importantly during.  If the escort is not giving me what I need during and encounter, I tell him what i want, or move his hand or mouth where I need it to be or just do what I need as long as he does not stay stop or indicate that it is not okay.  That can be disappointing, but at least I know and go on to something else that can be fun and know that this escort may not be the one for me.  Afterwards, I will tell him that I wanted X and it seems you did not want that.  It is sometimes just bad timing and sometimes it is something we did not discuss which he does not do.  I am also open to being a bit flexible in what I will allow but I do not hesitate to say that something is not working for me and to try this other thing I do like.  

With first time hires, I can give the initial impression of being a timid old man with no stamina and little gumption.  As soon as things start, I quickly discharge them of that notion, often to their surprise and usually to their satisfaction and mine.  

I know that's right. That was excellent advice! 

[Reggyreg56]

1 hour ago, Gar1eth said:

Some background first which some have read before. I was a virgin until I was 41-and I mean a total virgin.  The most I had done was give a short swift kiss on a cheek or the lips to probably less than 10 women in my life. And I don't think I had ever kissed a man. 
 

Why you say? Because I didn't want to be gay.  But finally I felt like I had to have sex. But I still didn't want to be gay. So I finally nerved myself up to hire an escort. I was lucky. He was very kind and took the time to teach me things like how to kiss. 
 

After that because I still didn't want to be gay, and because also I didn't feel I was attractive enough that anyone would really want me, I continued to hire for around 15 years. And because I was solitary I often hired for overnights and weekends. I had a lot of not-so-great or mediocre experiences. But on the other hand I did have a lot of nice times and met some incredibly handsome friendly guys. I probably remember more of the overnights and weekends than I do of the one and two hour meets and not just because of the sex as I am not now and never was a sexual dynamo. 
 

But the point I want to make is that for me -and maybe not every time -but definitely either during a large proportion of the meeting time or afterwards when I had time to reflect, I had some degree of melancholy or wistfulness because I knew it was a paid encounter. 
 

That doesn't mean I didn't have a good time or fun during a lot of  my escort encounters **(see below). But the wistfulness  was often there at the back of my mind. Now the feeling wasn't severe enough to make me stop meeting escorts. In fact two of the best Christmases I ever had as adult (I'm Jewish so Christmas isn't a family time for me-but the season can still feel a little hollow if you're nowhere near your own family and you know most people around you are celebrating) were two consecutive Christmas weekends (I think back in 2015 and 2016) I spent with an escort at his house. 

So if your feelings are anything like mine were, you're going to have figure out if you're having a good enough time to be able to deal with (what is for me)  the omnipresent downside  of hiring. If you can't, then maybe hiring isn't right for you. 
******************************************

**I was in a gay club once-possibly The Cuff in Seattle. They had some posters of porn stars on the wall. I had been with 4 or 5 of them -that definitely gave me some silent satisfaction. And it never would have  occurred if I had never started hiring. 

This was absolutely great. I appreciate your sharing your experiences. I think reading all the responses I realize I need to be the captain of my own ship and find what I am looking for! Thanks so much again! 

[+ PhileasFogg]

14 hours ago, Reggyreg56 said:

I have not hired a provider in years and I am strongly considering hiring one again soon. But then I remembered when I hired them in the past, the experiences weren't great. I left feeling like I have just been taken advantage of. Maybe it's just me or maybe we are getting the bare minimum from these providers. We pay so much to hire them  and often get back so little or are scammed. I have to ask myself and you all is it really worth it? What do you guys think?

As previously noted if you’re failing to align expectation and outcome in a personal encounter, it’s probably an education issue.

My activities tend to be overnights or weekends.  So, I always schedule a video call of introduction to be sure we are in sync but also to discuss mutual wants/needs.  It’s generally worked very well. 

[BigK]

I strongly believe that the attitude and vibe you give out is what you get back.  I always start by offering my providers, a drink, either nonalcoholic or alcoholic.  Then I sit down with them to share our drinks and initiate some basic conversations even if it’s just a one hour appointment..

I’m genuinely interested in getting to know somebody and I think if you treat someone like a human and an equal you get respect back.  It’s been a very long time since I’ve had a poor experience with an escort..

[CuriousByNature]

On 12/4/2025 at 5:00 PM, Gar1eth said:

Some background first which some have read before. I was a virgin until I was 41-and I mean a total virgin.  The most I had done was give a short swift kiss on a cheek or the lips to probably less than 10 women in my life. And I don't think I had ever kissed a man. 

Based on the description of your experiences, you were still a complete trollop compared to me - even now - and I'm 50+ years old.  LOL.