Please do not share PM'S

[Terpmaniac]

Listen I love this group, you guys are amazing, but please do not share my PRIVATE MESSAGES with masseurs you meet. A few months ago, I met a regular client who said to me "did you post something on this forum that was negative?" I said what are you talking about. He said he met a client who SHOWED HIM MY RESPONSE to a message about his work. I was shocked. I said " don't have clue and if it was negative then why am I here?" Please be careful with what is shared here. Private messages should remain so. No mad just concerned.

Terp

[+ 7829V]

How do they know it’s you?

I mean, how do they trace your online persona to your real persona?

[Manhattan]

1 hour ago, 7829V said:

How do they know it’s you?

I mean, how do they trace your online persona to your real persona?

Maybe the masseur recognized the time and date the message was sent combined with information that was specific to their session. 

Whatever happened, the point is that  private messages are private. If people don't respect that, the feature is useless. 

[Quiet]

It’s really a shame that someone would do something so disrespectful. 

[+ JamesB]

I would have assumed that common sense would prevent people from sharing private messages. I guess I was wrong.

[MassageCommunityMember]

I agree with you about privacy - I'm sorry that was violated regardless of who was involved...but um, can you help me understand:

You have a regular client (so you're the masseur?) who had a message from another client (of yours?) who had messaged with you about the first client about his work - is his work also in massage?  Are you all masseurs?  But it also sounds like you might be the client and the first "client" is the masseur?  Sorry  - this is probably super clear to everyone else.  I also haven't tried pasting photos in these posts before and I saw an opportunity. Thanks

Edited 2 hours ago by MassageCommunityMember

[+ MikeThomas]

I'm a little confused as well.  But, unless otherwise discussed, PMs should always stay private.

[viewing ownly]

I feel it was insanely tacky of your client to not keep to himself what he volunteered to you. If he had any tact, you wouldn't have a situation to state the obvious about private messages. 

I used shitty judgement with a masseur I had seen for many years, feeling enough time had gone by that I could share a true story with him about how I adopted an alias to be able to see him for the first time because he let me know I'm being too graphic when I initially wanted to book him so he wouldn't be a good fit & to find someone else. I then continued to use that alias with him several times over. He never wanted me as a client again after that visit.

[Spikeguy]

I think he meant a regular provider not regular client.  Another client of the provider showed him a private message from the OP who is a fellow client.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[+ PhileasFogg]

Notwithstanding the collective confusion on the description AND the reasonable expectation of privacy in PMs, one fact remains:

• You should not put anything in writing that you’re unwilling to see published in the front page of the New York Times.

While there is a presumption of privacy on the internet, it’s always a risk. 

[LookingAround]

Once you share something, you absolutely cannot assume there is any longer confidentiality. This is not a doctor/patient confidentiality situation. I'm surprised anyone would assume they have confidentiality on this message board. Oh how naïve.

[DunwoodyGuy]

Never forget: This is the Internet. Nothing is private.

[Terpmaniac]

17 hours ago, MikeThomas said:

I'm a little confused as well.  But, unless otherwise discussed, PMs should always stay private.

OK, lets clear some things up. Me, the client, him the masseur (that I have seen before). He is one of my favorites. He says "I saw ANOTHER CLIENT RECENTLY  who showed me some negative reviews from other clients on THIS FORUM and he wanted to know if it was me. I said no. Again, why would I have hired you if I did. I know some masseurs are on this forum, not surprised. What shocked me is that one of our members showed him the actual comments, he simply logged in via his phone and SHOWED HIM THE COMMENTS. Not good. Hope this clears up a bit.

 

Terp

[+ MikeThomas]

18 minutes ago, Terpmaniac said:

OK, lets clear some things up. Me, the client, him the masseur (that I have seen before). He is one of my favorites. He says "I saw ANOTHER CLIENT RECENTLY  who showed me some negative reviews from other clients on THIS FORUM and he wanted to know if it was me. I said no. Again, why would I have hired you if I did. I know some masseurs are on this forum, not surprised. What shocked me is that one of our members showed him the actual comments, he simply logged in via his phone and SHOWED HIM THE COMMENTS. Not good. Hope this clears up a bit.

 

Terp

Thanks!

 

[+ PhileasFogg]

1 hour ago, Terpmaniac said:

OK, lets clear some things up. Me, the client, him the masseur (that I have seen before). He is one of my favorites. He says "I saw ANOTHER CLIENT RECENTLY  who showed me some negative reviews from other clients on THIS FORUM and he wanted to know if it was me. I said no. Again, why would I have hired you if I did. I know some masseurs are on this forum, not surprised. What shocked me is that one of our members showed him the actual comments, he simply logged in via his phone and SHOWED HIM THE COMMENTS. Not good. Hope this clears up a bit.

 

Terp

That helps.   But let me ask you a different question

• I'm still not sure if it was a post on the forum or a PM.   But let's assume the former (since that's the more plausible scenario since PMs would be private":
• If you like the guy and have a great relationship with him, is it possible that someone else is being unreasonable in their expectations and/or review.   It's been my observation that if a guy has a lot of fans and a single bad review, it might have been a "one off bad experience" OR it may have been an unreasonable client.   There are documented instances of the latter on this forum.
• Again, if it was a public posting, there's nothing that hides it from the provider.   If it's public, and you like him, would you be inclined to show it to him to give him a chance to respond?   Interestingly, in one of the documented examples I referred to above, it was the negative reviewer who shared his post with the provider with a "nah nah nah nah boo boo...look what I've done to you"   And some remember that it backfired big time on the guy with the negative post.
• so, I disagree.   There are a lot of providers in this forum (and I say the more the better) who can track and participate and/or respond to public posts at will.   I have absolutely no problem with drawing their attention to a public post that might be adverse toward them so they can be aware of it.

In short, this forum may be like a private members only locker room, but if so, it has glass walls

Now, if it's a PM, then I have a different view, but then I stand by my earlier comment that we shouldn't presume privacy in anything on the internet

 

Edited 40 minutes ago by PhileasFogg

[DunwoodyGuy]

Again let's be clear: Anything you post on this forum (or any other) WILL be seen by the provider. Know when you post that it absolutely positively WILL be seen by the person you are posting about. 

And that includes PMs. Just because they're called "private messages" doesn't mean they're private. Once you press "send," it's out there.

Now that we've cleared that up...I have a mad crush on Simon Suraci. DON'T ANYONE TELL HIM THAT, OKAY?

Edited 4 minutes ago by DunwoodyGuy