Customer Service

[Nightowl]

I recently fleshed out my profile on RM and got “Hi” back from an unknown provider.  I’m now intrigued. but not sure what his message is.  Is that provider-speak for “I saw your profile and I’d really like to see if we could get together?”  Unsure, I responded with “hello” and got “Hey man” back. Is this some secret dance that providers and clients go through before hooking up?  Seems to me that, if a provider is going to reach out, he should perhaps be a little more direct.  Thoughts?  (To the provider in question:  if you’re on CoM, feel free to elaborate.  English or Spanish, both would work for me).

[+ KensingtonHomo]

We’ve been approached by providers who see us review someone and - I assume - think they’d be a good fit. Occasionally we get on that is clearly just trying to drum up business. I don’t respond to those. 

[mike carey]

I would see it as simply drawing your attention to his ad, and then seen your reply as acknowledgement that you had seen it. I wouldn't read anything more into it. If he interests you, reach out, he's prompted you to think about him, not signalled any particular interest in you.

[Tom C. Sinclair]

Sounds more or less fruitless to me. I can be cynical but I bet if you try to pursue something with him it will end up going nowhere but you getting frustrated. 

[DznNYC]

16 hours ago, Nightowl said:

I recently fleshed out my profile on RM and got “Hi” back from an unknown provider.  I’m now intrigued. but not sure what his message is.  Is that provider-speak for “I saw your profile and I’d really like to see if we could get together?”  Unsure, I responded with “hello” and got “Hey man” back. Is this some secret dance that providers and clients go through before hooking up?  Seems to me that, if a provider is going to reach out, he should perhaps be a little more direct.  Thoughts?  (To the provider in question:  if you’re on CoM, feel free to elaborate.  English or Spanish, both would work for me).

 

I think you're getting at a similar question that I struggle with from the provider perspective:  Is it worthwhile for providers to DM profiles they see as potential clients?

When I first made my RM profile public, I got an unsolicited DM from a well known successful NYC provider that said (major paraphrase here): Welcome to RentMen.  I'm a very successful escort.  This is my only job.  Happy to share the secrets to my success.  I DM ever profile that views my profile and I attempt to engage.  I took his advice early on.  But it only took one or two unpleasant replies to see that this approach isn't universally well received.  Potential clients view it like a telemarketer call.  So I backed off that approach.

But there are some scenarios that feel like an exception.  If a client views my profile and has fleshed out the information in his profile and it appears we could be a good match, I'll send him a gentle hello.  (Similarly, if his profile is all about searching for twinks - which I am not - I'll know to let him be.)  Usually it's just hello and a profile compliment.  Experience has taught me that the unprompted hard sell doesn't play out well.  

Similarly, there's a small handful of client profiles who view my profile almost daily and don't reply to a hello.  It didn't take long to get that this was a mystery I'd have to learn to live with.  

Strong likelihood, the "hi" you're getting is a gentle invitation to interact from a provider who's careful of a hard sell.  If I see a fleshed out profile that feels compatible,  I'd do similar, though with slightly more than just hello.  

 

[mike carey]

Some potential clients appreciate such a contact even if it's random. It's nicer if there's more than a 'Hi'. If it's friendly that's even better. If they say 'Hello Handsome' and you've seen them somewhere else, even if you can't know that they had seen you in the same places, it can be enticing. It's happened to me. It can progress. I've had conversations that confirmed that it could work. That doesn't mean I've had a professional meeting with those men. Yet.

[jackcali]

To the OP, don't overthink it.  The provider reached out to bring his profile to your attention.  He's marketing.  Your "hello" response probably confused him, as he would have expected either silence or something indicating that you might be interested in hiring him.  His "hey man" response to you is a request for clarification of whether you're interested or not.  At this point, I think you should either engage him to discuss a hire (as you would if you saw a profile that you liked) or respond with a "thanks for reaching out but I'm not interested at this time" message. 

I don't mind when providers reach out unsolicited (based on their looking at my profile or whatever).  I don't usually respond, but sometimes I hear from a provider who is interesting to me and whose profile I had not noticed before.   

[Nightowl]

1 minute ago, jackcali said:

To the OP, don't overthink it.  The provider reached out to bring his profile to your attention.  He's marketing.  Your "hello" response probably confused him, as he would have expected either silence or something indicating that you might be interested in hiring him.  His "hey man" response to you is a request for clarification of whether you're interested or not.  At this point, I think you should either engage him to discuss a hire (as you would if you saw a profile that you liked) or respond with a "thanks for reaching out but I'm not interested at this time" message. 

I don't mind when providers reach out unsolicited (based on their looking at my profile or whatever).  I don't usually respond, but sometimes I hear from a provider who is interesting to me and whose profile I had not noticed before.   

In other words, it’s a sacred dance.  I did continue the conversation with the provider and learned that he liked my profile but when I asked him a few questions he stopped responding.  

[Nightowl]

34 minutes ago, DznNYC said:

 

 

But there are some scenarios that feel like an exception.  If a client views my profile and has fleshed out the information in his profile and it appears we could be a good match, I'll send him a gentle hello.  (Similarly, if his profile is all about searching for twinks - which I am not - I'll know to let him be.)  Usually it's just hello and a profile compliment.  Experience has taught me that the unprompted hard sell doesn't play out well.  

Similarly, there's a small handful of client profiles who view my profile almost daily and don't reply to a hello.  It didn't take long to get that this was a mystery I'd have to learn to live with.  

Strong likelihood, the "hi" you're getting is a gentle invitation to interact from a provider who's careful of a hard sell.  If I see a fleshed out profile that feels compatible,  I'd do similar, though with slightly more than just hello.  

 

I eventually learned that there were things in my profile that attracted him, which jives with what you’re saying . Never learned what they were though since he ghosted me after I asked a few questions.

[Tom C. Sinclair]

This will probably sound racist, but I have found ghosting more prevalent among Hispanic men than others. Especially Hispanic men listed as under 30. 

[CuriousByNature]

5 hours ago, Tom C. Sinclair said:

This will probably sound racist, but I have found ghosting more prevalent among Hispanic men than others. Especially Hispanic men listed as under 30. 

Mentioning race on this forum will generally be met with accusations of racism, and at times I would agree that such accusations are warranted.  In this case you're speaking from your own personal experience and not making a blanket statement about everyone who is of a certain race.  But that said, some might understandably wonder what the point is to mention race at all, in this context?  Just a thought to consider, perhaps.  

[rvwnsd]

11 hours ago, Nightowl said:

In other words, it’s a sacred dance.  I did continue the conversation with the provider and learned that he liked my profile but when I asked him a few questions he stopped responding.  

It isn't a sacred dance. It is a conversation starter, which goes like this:

• Advertiser: "Hi"
• Me: Look at provider's ad, think about whether we are a match, think about whether I want to hire.
  • If the answer to those questions are "Yes" I reply with something like "Thanks for reaching out. Looks like we might be a match. Here are the things I like to do..."
  • If the answer to those questions are "No," I reply with something like "Thanks for reaching out. I'm not looking right now." 
  • If I am interested but not ready to hire, I reply withe something like "Thanks for reaching out. Looks like we are a match, but I'm not looking to hire just yet. I will reach back out when I am."

When I don't want providers contacting me I make my profile invisible. 

[soloyo215]

I've gotten several of those "Hi". Have responded to some, and one ended up in a booking, the others were out of my area, but I had a nice conversation where I ended stating that I might consider them if I travel to where they are of if they come to my city. No harm done, just a nice, polite conversation. They reach out to prospective clients. I don't see anything wrong with it.

It's more annoying when I get those from Dell and T-Mobile.

[Tom C. Sinclair]

@CuriousByNature, I suppose I left out a thought. Often that’s how those exchanges begin. After reaching out to a good-looking, younger Hispanic man with a relatively thoughtful opening message, text or RM, the first response is often “Hi” with no followup. It’s not exclusive to Hispanic men, but it feels like it happens more with them. It’s definitely a thing with younger guys. Guys over 30 are more engaging, irrespective of ethnicity. Some young guys too, but they are much more apt to just say “Hi.” Perhaps that’s because of life experience and also the need to be engaging in order to secure a hookup because nubility is no longer in the running like it had been in his 20s. I have no science to back that up though. 

[Tom C. Sinclair]

2 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

It's more annoying when I get those from Dell and T-Mobile.

Maria is always texting me with a special offer to make $1000 a day. She wants to know if I’m interested 😂 

[Tom C. Sinclair]

Just now, Tom C. Sinclair said:

Maria is always texting me with a special offer to make $1000 a day. She wants to know if I’m interested 😂 

And also Kimberly. She will often send me her selfie. She’s a porcelain white skinned Asian girl who wears pastel bikinis. She often accidentally texts me but assures me I seem nice and wants to know if we maybe can be friends. 

[Chien Andalou]

On 8/18/2025 at 8:05 AM, DznNYC said:

Similarly, there's a small handful of client profiles who view my profile almost daily and don't reply to a hello.  It didn't take long to get that this was a mystery I'd have to learn to live with. 

I do a lot of window shopping before I hire, if I ever hire them. Looking in the window at Saks is much less commitment than buying a dress from Saks. Escort rates these days are a big commitment, so I wait before I commit. Then there are all these factors when I do: Do I want younger or older, smooth or hairy, short or tall? It changes. That is also why I set my profile to not show my visits. Very rude to not at least say hi back though. 

[d.anders]

On 8/18/2025 at 11:05 AM, DznNYC said:

Is it worthwhile for providers to DM profiles they see as potential clients?

I think it is worthwhile, but it can be a double-edged sword. A lot depends on whether the client will be attracted to you, and there is no way of knowing until you say hi.

I've had a profile on rentmasseur for a very long time. I find it a great way to introduce myself to certain people. Several guys advertising on the site have reached out to me through the years, and I always appreciated the gesture. I hired many of them. For those I wasn't immediately attracted to, I re-read their ad and their message to me. If there was something in the writing that inspired me, I gave a second consideration. Looks only count for so much, and some second-choices have blown me away.

I think it takes a bit of courage to say hi to a stranger, and I admire courage.

[+ Jamie21]

7 hours ago, Tom C. Sinclair said:

And also Kimberly. She will often send me her selfie. She’s a porcelain white skinned Asian girl who wears pastel bikinis. She often accidentally texts me but assures me I seem nice and wants to know if we maybe can be friends. 

What!!! I thought she only liked me. Ugh I’m being two timed. 

Back to the subject: I get messages from RentMasseur saying that a premium RM client has checked out my profile and would I like to message him?  No thanks, I don’t like to send unsolicited messages. If they’re interested they’ll make contact. I’m not really wanting or needing to drum up business in that way. It seems a bit desperate to me, and even if I was desperate I wouldn’t want to appear so. 
 

Edited 8 hours ago by Jamie21