Providers requesting a pic - safety precaution or otherwise?

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 6/6/2025 at 5:35 PM, viewing ownly said:

...or airbrush out my lengthy earlobe hair.

Rather than edit your pictures, you can try trimming the earlobe hair and other basic grooming practices.  An old man who takes care of himself is sexier than a young man who doesn't.

Even though I am much older and fatter than I was in my 20s, I find I receive more compliments now on my appearance and the self-confidence that goes with it because I pay more attention to grooming (professional haircuts instead of the value barber with a coupon, using hair product daily, trimming my eye brows and nose hair and ear hair at every barber appointment, keeping the back of my neck shaved weekly, manicures and pedicures and facial cleaning, etc.).  If you look well kept, people will treat you better, as they should.  You don't need to have won the DNA lottery to be presentable.  But you do need basic maintenance, which changes as we age.

Edited June 9 by Vegas_Millennial

[DMICS]

On 6/6/2025 at 10:45 PM, nate_sf said:

I’m with you on this. What kind of asshole provider asks a client for a picture in the first place? I guess it’s more common than I’d thought, but seems really unprofessional. 

@viewing ownly I’m sorry this happened to you. I’ve met you socially and you’re a nice looking guy. The ghosting says more about the provider than it does anything about you. 

 

It's something that has been popping up more in recent years. I chalked it up to Gen-Z'ers treating this business more like Grindr now. When I've encountered the request I just move on.

I know one provider here in NYC, beloved by many forum members on here, that asks for pictures. 

 

On 6/7/2025 at 7:05 AM, Just Chuck said:

I imagine there’s a percentage of barely-semi-pro escorts who just do it as a paying hobby and are pickier about seeing clients. 

Yup. 1000%. 

[+ Pensant]

I’m sympathetic to both perspectives. Fortunately, some of my 20-somethings routinely address me as handsome when they text me or say they were relieved when I opened the door. They may be bullshitting, but at least they’re professionals.

[FaustOust]

6 hours ago, Pensant said:

Fortunately, some of my 20-somethings routinely address me as handsome when they text me or say they were relieved when I opened the door

Although I am sure they are being truthful in your case, that is something escorts say to clients. Addressing the client as “Handsome” is Escorting 101.

It can also be a way of not having to recall your name in that moment.

Edited June 9 by FaustOust

[+ Alabastrine]

2 hours ago, FaustOust said:

Although I am sure they are being truthful in your case, that is something escorts say to clients. Addressing the client as “Handsome” is Escorting 101.

It can also be a way of not having to recall your name in that moment.

Asking for a friend. Any way to tell when they actually mean it?

[+ ApexNomad]

51 minutes ago, Alabastrine said:

Asking for a friend. Any way to tell when they actually mean it?

When you’re not paying.

[Guest]

I would say I am good looking to most people at best and good enough at worst. But I would never share pics with a provider. In fact, if they ask it is a red flag as this profession is one of secrecy. The exchange is money for sex fundamentally, not money + sex for sex. 
 

It is of course a provider's right to screen their clients but it is not something clients should remain neutral about.

[Guest]

Can't edit posts, but having said the above I still think one should always look their best for their escort as if they are going on a date. You are meeting another human being afterall, it is only courteous to make an excellent first impression. Grooming/hygiene is a must and if a provider thinks/sees/smells that their client is off, they should be able to excuse themselves.

[ShortCutie7]

On 6/6/2025 at 9:33 PM, ShortCutie7 said:

Today was the first time I have ever been rejected by a provider in person due to my appearance (at least I assume that was the reason)… it was frankly quite humiliating and I would have rather been screened out in advance.

ETA for those who continue to react to this (since I can’t edit the post for some reason): the reason for being turned down in person had nothing to do with my appearance but was indeed the reason he gave (that he had to work) which I did not believe at time.  That said, it was still incredibly humiliating in the moment.

[b2bf]

On 6/6/2025 at 11:02 PM, pubic_assistance said:

Some people seem to have this strange assumption that every person who goes into the business has some sort of "code of ethics" that they must subscribe to.

There are plenty of young hot guys who think they can make a fast buck as an escort but they lack the most essential quality....and that is the ability to stay hard while performing sexual favors for someone you think is gross and unattractive. 

So they ask for photos to make sure the 'ick' factor is low enough that they can hold their nose and fuck your old fat ass.

There's more than a few of these...so I am surprised by the righteous indignation. Fucking people who you find otherwise unappealing is a true art. You should all think about that when tipping your next handsome young companion when he makes you feel dssirable.

I fully understand that but I'd much prefer a "I'm sorry but I'm not interested." response than being ghosted. I consider it very unprofessional. But, yes, they are "young hot guys who think they can make a fast buck as an escort" and frankly have no idea how to run a business, build client relations or even live their life (thinking of the state of the many apartments I've visited).

[The Dude]

Sure, I'll send a picture... if he's the one paying me. But he's not, so no pic.

Once you send your pic, you have zero control over what happens to it.  If for some reason he gets pissed off, there's no stopping him from plastering your face all over social media and saying whatever about you. Not worth it.

NO PICS EVER.

[Archangel]

On 6/6/2025 at 7:08 PM, viewing ownly said:

it's so fucking commonplace with communication, perhaps I need to start excommunicating someone when I'm asked to send a picture, instead of complying, then getting rejected.

I have adopted a very similar approach – I tell him that comes later if communication continues before the meetup. I will send a picture right before we meet if it doesn’t come up in the communication. Typically a provider hasn’t asked me for a picture. And I have had guys basically ghost or outright ghost early on if they have asked. In the end, it’s probably for the best, because he wasn’t in it to provide a quality service for me if just seeing changes how he interacts - if at all! 

[Moke]

I’ve been asked a few times and of course never give a pic. It’s never in the end been a deal breaker for the provider. 
 

Btw- isn’t there an identical thread on this going on right now?