Providers sharing pet peeves.

[viewing ownly]

This was a terrific subject brought on by a different forum member, but it closed due to inactivity (but had plenty of insightful opinions prior to going dormant).

I ran across an ad with a man who indicates "naturally born men only", which implies if you didn't have a penis at birth, he doesn't want you as a client. Instead of criticizing his approach, I'd suggest avoiding him or anyone who lists something in their ad that bothers you. Different strokes. 

I'm seeing more and more "caged" men advertising. I like my providers to have their goods out there and visible, not under lock and key or always in a jock strap. That's me - not everyone else, and I can understand. 

[+ ApexNomad]

1 hour ago, viewing ownly said:

This was a terrific subject brought on by a different forum member, but it closed due to inactivity (but had plenty of insightful opinions prior to going dormant).

I ran across an ad with a man who indicates "naturally born men only", which implies if you didn't have a penis at birth, he doesn't want you as a client. Instead of criticizing his approach, I'd suggest avoiding him or anyone who lists something in their ad that bothers you. Different strokes. 

I'm seeing more and more "caged" men advertising. I like my providers to have their goods out there and visible, not under lock and key or always in a jock strap. That's me - not everyone else, and I can understand. 

I’m not sure I’m fully following how this ties into the topic of provider pet peeves. Are you saying that ads with language like naturally born men only or the chastity stuff are turn-offs for you when you’re browsing providers? Just trying to understand the connection a bit better.

[viewing ownly]

Just in general, when providers mention what they do not like or want from a hire. Even if it's obvious, like "no constant texters", or "endless private messages", if from the get-go they choose to be negative, it from the hiring prospective is cause to find someone else who is welcoming and shares "will do's" instead of "won't do's". 

When my post was made, it was in regard to an escort who evidently no longer advertises (but did earlier today). If I was confusing things by mentioning my own personal preferences, I apologize. I like naturally born men myself, but I'm not going to interrogate someone about that. If it feels real, so what?

[StableMentalDefective]

17 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

This was a terrific subject brought on by a different forum member, but it closed due to inactivity (but had plenty of insightful opinions prior to going dormant).

I ran across an ad with a man who indicates "naturally born men only", which implies if you didn't have a penis at birth, he doesn't want you as a client. Instead of criticizing his approach, I'd suggest avoiding him or anyone who lists something in their ad that bothers you. Different strokes. 

I'm seeing more and more "caged" men advertising. I like my providers to have their goods out there and visible, not under lock and key or always in a jock strap. That's me - not everyone else, and I can understand. 

We have to stop the games. Not being attracted to or being able to perform for a trans man is not transphobia. Everyone should live in peace and happiness. That sometimes means in someone else’s bedroom. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

3 hours ago, StableMentalDefective said:

We have to stop the games. Not being attracted to or being able to perform for a trans man is not transphobia. Everyone should live in peace and happiness. That sometimes means in someone else’s bedroom. 

Trans people's lives are not a game. Aside from immigrants, they are the most demonized, dehumanized, and violently attacked minority in this country. Further, there is no such thing as a "natural born man." About 49 percent of babies are born more or less female; the same is true for males. But nearly two percent are born to some extent intersex. And among biological males and females, there is a range of hormone levels, second sex characteristics,  etc. 

There is nothing natural about even the way most escorts look. Most are on special diets, work out six days a week, have their bodies waxed or shaved, have their hair colored, etc. That's not to disparage any of them. I color my hair, have tattoos, groom myself, etc. Rather, it is to point out that gender is a performance. 

No escort or "civilian" owes anyone else sex. But there's no need to disparage trans men while pretending that one's gender is "natural." 

[soloyo215]

On 5/16/2025 at 8:34 PM, viewing ownly said:

Just in general, when providers mention what they do not like or want from a hire. Even if it's obvious, like "no constant texters", or "endless private messages", if from the get-go they choose to be negative, it from the hiring prospective is cause to find someone else who is welcoming and shares "will do's" instead of "won't do's". 

When my post was made, it was in regard to an escort who evidently no longer advertises (but did earlier today). If I was confusing things by mentioning my own personal preferences, I apologize. I like naturally born men myself, but I'm not going to interrogate someone about that. If it feels real, so what?

Back to the original topic, to me it's a red flag when there are way too many of those "pet peeves". It's like those personal adds where some have more of half of it stating "no this, no that, be this, be that, have this, don't bring that", ad nauseam.

I'm not sure how many of those are too many, but at some point the provider might start coming across as demanding or off-putting for having so many preferences or "requirements". If they remain in business is because there are some clients who are ok with those pet peeves.

[+ Alabastrine]

Pet peeves are fine, everyone has their boundaries and personal turn-offs- that's life. Boundaries are to be respected, and it goes both ways for the provider as well as the client:  no one has to right to gaslighting or shame the other into lowering their boundaries even if they seem frivolous, offensive or silly. I'd imagine one would just move on to a different provider or client (whatever the case by be) to find a better match. I've been turned down by a few providers due to my gender (I am female, and up front about it) and that is completely OK! No hard feelings, NEXT!

Edited May 28 by Alabastrine

[BrickBuilder]

My pet peeve is that many of the posters on this site rant and rave about what they "Don't like about" a provider and his ad instead of a comment about having met the person and a thumbs up or down.   Here is the scenario.  Someone posts "411 on XXX provider in YYY City".  Usually the majority of posts point out that the poster

• Hates the provider's Tats / lack of them
• Hates the provider's nose ring / nipple ring / prince albert / etc
• Hates that the guy is too tall / short / heavy / thin
• Hates he parties
• Hates that he smokes
• Hates that he is cut / uncut
• Hates the color/length/style of the provider's hair
• Hates the provider's pictures / too many pictures / too few pictures
• Does not like the provider's descriptions
• Hates that he only hosts or only does outcalls
• and so on and so on about all your "Red Flags"

Finding the post from someone that has actually met the provider and has a true opinion is like finding a needle in a haystack sometimes.

I think what the posters here should realize is that all these posts provide a very interesting picture of your biases.  No judgement here...just an observation.   And honestly, is all of that really relevant to the rest of us on this site?  

You have the option to just ignore anyone's ad and say "hmmm...not my cup of tea....next" and just move on...and not slam/comment about them here because of the persona that they present in their ad.

That is my pet peeve as a reader....did I miss the point of this topic?  😲

[BrooklynIrish]

36 minutes ago, AtlTopGuy said:

I think what the posters here should realize is that all these posts provide a very interesting picture of your biases.  No judgement here...just an observation.   And honestly, is all of that really relevant to the rest of us on this site?  

You have the option to just ignore anyone's ad and say "hmmm...not my cup of tea....next" and just move on...and not slam/comment about them here because of the persona that they present in their ad.

Could not agree more. I saw a provider who is aware of CoM this weekend. He bemoaned how shitty some of the members here are when commenting about him and other providers. 

[BigK]

1 hour ago, BrooklynIrish said:

Could not agree more. I saw a provider who is aware of CoM this weekend. He bemoaned how shitty some of the members here are when commenting about him and other providers. 

If you enjoyed your meeting with the provider, I hope you go onto the thread here and say something positive about him if there’s something positive to say.  It helps balance out with some others might have said about him.

[BrooklynIrish]

I have reviewed him here and on Rentmen. He has over 50 glowing reviews. The point is not the he needs a good review. It’s that clients on here are unnecessarily rude and nasty about providers appearance as @AtlTopGuy explained. 

Edited May 29 by BrooklynIrish

[BigK]

4 hours ago, BrooklynIrish said:

I have reviewed him here and on Rentmen. He has over 50 glowing reviews. The point is not the he needs a good review. It’s that clients on here are unnecessarily rude and nasty about providers appearance as @AtlTopGuy explained. 

I agree with you, wholeheartedly on the unnecessarily, rude and nasty.  I do want to hear about negative issues someone might’ve had with an escort which would have a bearing on my future hiring decisions.

And if somebody does have something negative to report, I take into consideration all other source's like a well-known poster registering a positive comment about a provider.

 

[Guest]

Sometimes, a provider gets piled on, especially by posters who have never met or interacted with them. A few providers deserve it, but it's becoming too common to target even the more harmless providers. It's overkill.

[NYXboy]

@AtlTopGuy  said it perfectly, and I couldn't say it better myself. 

The fact that a lot of people (maybe just the loud ones) don't seem to see the actual rudeness of it, quite frankly is astounding.

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

On 6/15/2025 at 2:02 AM, NYXboy said:

The fact that a lot of people (maybe just the loud ones) don't seem to see the actual rudeness of it, quite frankly is astounding.

Of course they see it.  They know they're being assholes.

A troll is gonna troll.  That's just what they do.

[+ JamesB]

4 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

 

That is what the “Ignore” option in the forum is for. If you feel a member has been consistently nasty, you can just  place him in your Ignore list. It works wonderfully. In my opinion the moderators here do an excellent job intervening when the rules are broken. 

[Moke]

1 hour ago, JamesB said:

 

Rewrite: That is what the “Ignore” option in the forum is for. If you feel a member has been consistently nasty, you can just  place him in your Ignore list. It works wonderfully. In my opinion the moderators here do an excellent job intervening when the rules are broken. 

Where is this ignore button?  I’m not able to find it. 

[+ JamesB]

17 minutes ago, Moke said:

Where is this ignore button?  I’m not able to find it. 

Simply hover over the member’s profile, you’ll find the option in the bottom right corner. If that doesn’t work, you can also use the following link to add them manually.

https://www.companyofmen.org/ignore

[Cooper]

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