How to politely "fire" a masseur?

[+ 7829V]

So there's this masseur who, whenever he's in town, always sends me a text soliciting business. I'm not interested in hiring him again. It was a combination of not having great technique and not being my type for sensual/erotic play. I only hired him once, and that was it, but he's very persistent with texts every time he's in town.

Should I just ghost him? So far, I've been trying to politely say that I don't have time, that I'm out of town, etc.

Should I just say, "Please do not contact me again; I'm not interested in hiring you in the future"? I guess he's not getting the hints, or I'm not being direct enough.

How do you "fire" masseurs?

[+ FrankR]

3 minutes ago, 7829V said:

So there's this masseur who, whenever he's in town, always sends me a text soliciting business. I'm not interested in hiring him again. It was a combination of not having great technique and not being my type for sensual/erotic play. I only hired him once, and that was it, but he's very persistent with texts every time he's in town.

Should I just ghost him? So far, I've been trying to politely say that I don't have time, that I'm out of town, etc.

Should I just say, "Please do not contact me again; I'm not interested in hiring you in the future"? I guess he's not getting the hints, or I'm not being direct enough.

How do you "fire" masseurs?

You are such a nice guy. But you dont owe him anything. You’ve said your piece - he is being pushy. He is basically spamming you. Just block his number at this point. 

[56harrisond]

21 minutes ago, 7829V said:

Should I just ghost him? So far, I've been trying to politely say that I don't have time, that I'm out of town, etc.

Should I just say, "Please do not contact me again; I'm not interested in hiring you in the future"? I guess he's not getting the hints, or I'm not being direct enough.

How do you "fire" masseurs?

 If/when he messages you again I would respond with a simple, "I'm no longer hiring." This doesn't invite a follow-up conversation, but if he does reply, there is no need to answer.

[soloyo215]

1 hour ago, 7829V said:

So there's this masseur who, whenever he's in town, always sends me a text soliciting business. I'm not interested in hiring him again. It was a combination of not having great technique and not being my type for sensual/erotic play. I only hired him once, and that was it, but he's very persistent with texts every time he's in town.

Should I just ghost him? So far, I've been trying to politely say that I don't have time, that I'm out of town, etc.

Should I just say, "Please do not contact me again; I'm not interested in hiring you in the future"? I guess he's not getting the hints, or I'm not being direct enough.

How do you "fire" masseurs?

I have some who have reached out to me, who I have no interest in rehiring. I've texted them back simply saying that I am currently not looking for a masseur, and that I will reach out if I decide to hire him again. That did the trick for me.

In other instances with other services, when I find pushy people, I increase the level of directness and unpoliteness until they get it. There's no need to be nasty right way if there's a chance that he will get the message when told nicely.

Edited August 16, 2024 by soloyo215

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, 7829V said:

So there's this masseur who, whenever he's in town, always sends me a text soliciting business. I'm not interested in hiring him again. It was a combination of not having great technique and not being my type for sensual/erotic play. I only hired him once, and that was it, but he's very persistent with texts every time he's in town.

Should I just ghost him? So far, I've been trying to politely say that I don't have time, that I'm out of town, etc.

Should I just say, "Please do not contact me again; I'm not interested in hiring you in the future"? I guess he's not getting the hints, or I'm not being direct enough.

How do you "fire" masseurs?

You're not firing him, you're certainly now willing to hire him again because you didn't like him.

• tell him, you moved out of town
• block him
• tell him, you're no longer hiring
• tell him you have a regular in town and you're not interested in seeing other guys (including him). 

No big deal!

Many escorts/masseurs if they don't hear from a client after a couple of trips simply remove it from their contact list. It happens in all professions! 

[LookingAround]

Just block him. No need to respond with any message at all. 

[BuffaloKyle]

One excuse I use to stop unwanted inquiries from providers is "I actually am in a committed relationship now and am no longer hiring"

[Hot4latin]

Or another option...

“Thanks for reaching out.  As soon as I clear up this burning case of herpes and genital warts, you’ll be my first call. In fact, I’m feeling optimistic. Want to pencil me in for Saturday?”

I can almost guarantee this will get you on the provider’s do not call list. 🤣

[+ JamesB]

My typical response would be: "Thank you for the update regarding your visit to my area. However, I am not currently interested in hiring. If that changes in the future, I’ll be sure to let you know.

[viewing ownly]

Unless you ignore him, he'll persist. If you ignore him enough, he'll eventually leave you alone. Making nice excuses is what's making matters worse for you. Also, polite firing is as awkward as desperate hiring. Neither should be done.

[maninsoma]

I have no problem ignoring a provider who continues to contact me after an initial appointment when I don't want to see them again.  If it's a traveling provider, I cannot really fault them for sending texts to previous clients to announce their next visit since that's likely a more fruitful way for them to get repeat business than simply putting travel dates in their ads. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Just block them.

I've had providers keep texting me even after a clear "no" from me.

[pubic_assistance]

I don't like lying to people.

"Thanks for reaching out but I am no longer interested"...seems the most direct and honest response without being mean and without all these lies. (I am dating/ I moved etc).

 

[marylander1940]

On 8/16/2024 at 8:30 PM, BuffaloKyle said:

One excuse I use to stop unwanted inquiries from providers is "I actually am in a committed relationship now and am no longer hiring"

Sooner or later committed relationships become open relationships... Knowing that an escort might hit him up a year later. 

Besides it sounds like bullshit, blocking is way nicer.

 

[LookingAround]

He is obviously sending out texts to all his clients in that area. I doubt he is sitting by the phone dwelling over each client. If he doesn't hear from you I doubt he will even notice. If you block him be will not be aware of it. There is no notification he is blocked. 

i, too, don't like lying to the escort. Also why give a song and dance that you're no longer interested etc. Lots of drama here over a small thing. 

Edited August 18, 2024 by LookingAround

[TonyDown]

I got a text from someone I hired 10+ years ago.  Took me a while to figure out who.

Blocking a number from someone you don't want to see again makes the most sense to me. 

The provider will be OK.  Don't worry too much about that.

 

[caramelsub]

51 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

He is obviously sending out texts to all his clients in that area. I doubt he is sitting by the phone dwelling over each client. If he doesn't hear from you I doubt he will even notice. If you block him be will not be aware of it. There is no notification he is blocked. 

i, too, don't like lying to the escort. Also why give a song and dance that you're no longer interested etc. Lots of drama here over a small thing. 

But if you block someone on your phone they can’t text you anymore so they are notified when they send a text and it doesn’t go through. I have had to block two escorts, and both times they texted me again from a different number, then I blocked them again. One of them insulted me for blocking them. Before blocking someone I don’t want to hire, I would just say “I am not interested in hiring anymore.” If the escort gets angered by that statement or berates you, then I would block them. But be aware most escorts have multiple numbers, so you may have to block them multiple times.

[LookingAround]

Simon

You and I have the opposite viewpoint of what is the polite approach.  
I think it's impolite to say "I'm really not interested."

this man is sending out a marketing message no doubt to multiple clients. Why do you believe no response is impolite? I believe ignoring it is sending a polite "no" without insulting him. If you go in a date with someone and they don't contact you again, that's a polite way of saying "I'm not that interested." Why should they affirmatively reject you by saying "Thanks but I'd prefer not to see you again" unless you force their hand?

Edited August 18, 2024 by LookingAround

[caramelsub]

7 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

Simon

You and I have the opposite viewpoint of what is the polite approach.  
I think it's impolite to say "I'm really not interested."

this man is sending out a marketing message no doubt to multiple clients. Why do you believe no response is impolite? I believe ignoring it is sending a polite "no" without insulting him. If you go in a date with someone and they don't contact you again, that's a polite way of saying "I'm not that interested." Why should they affirmatively reject you by saying "Thanks but I'd prefer not to see you again" unless you force their hand?

I agree. Nothing wrong with ghosting or ignoring someone you are not interested in seeing. I find that more polite than saying “I don’t want to see you anymore” or “I’m not interested in seeing you.”

[+ Jamie21]

28 minutes ago, caramelsub said:

I agree. Nothing wrong with ghosting or ignoring someone you are not interested in seeing. I find that more polite than saying “I don’t want to see you anymore” or “I’m not interested in seeing you.”

Me too. He contacted you unsolicited. There’s no reason to reply. Just delete his message and forget it. If he continues to leave you on the mailing list just block his number.

I personally don’t use the ‘hey want to hire me again?’ approach because I don’t travel so I’m not able to use the I’m in your area excuse. Plus I don’t like the implied neediness in the approach. If they liked me they’ll book again, if not they won’t. It’s their choice. I’m not chasing business. 

 

[LookingAround]

Yes. We will agree to disagree. Lots of words on your part but quite unconvincing. 

[caramelsub]

I wouldn’t put blocking/ignoring/ghosting in the same category as lying. They are different things.

Edited August 19, 2024 by caramelsub