Vetting

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

You say it as if it's no longer like that...

 

 

That’s true but I feel like they need to at least keep it to themselves mostly. 

[marylander1940]

On 5/19/2024 at 6:36 PM, DWnyc said:

It doesn’t. And people have different risk tolerance leading to precautionary steps that vary by individual more than situations  

But the hobby by its nature likely attracts more of what some would call “sketchy” folks on both sides so given where we are today with technology there are precautions and research that people can undertake That yoU Might not with a Grindr meet that disappears if you don’t drop everythjng and be present within the next 10 mins.  And despite the howls of protest that often follow such discussion there can be ties between providers and some more unsavory trades (eg p n p - have lost track of how many people I’ve met have offered me discounts if I make purchases in their other lines of work). 

one’s sensitivity is often based on personal experience or situation. I have an Asian friend who has had more than one provider slam the door on him when realizing he wasn’t what they assumed (with abusive commentary, so he knows that’s the reason) so he is particularly sensitive to that issue and whether he will be accepted. Likewise an amputee friend (ex army) who was treated badly and called “grotesque” by a provider who had posted on this forum and claims similar vet status. And if you’ve had the misfortune of ever being shortchanged by a provider or worse you’ll likely want some indication of someone’s fiduciary behavior.  Those for whom discretion is more important than the average client for whatever reason may want to know they can remain (to the extent they themselves are aware) anonymous; providers who require ID or photos or are known to have security equipment may not be for them. 

And there is always the need for both sides to be conscious of potential sting operations. No it’s not an exaggeration. 

 

 

PNP or any evidence of is a always a huge turn off, sooner or later it will mess with the provider's work ethic, health, performance, etc. 

I'm sorry to hear about your Asian friend suffering discrimination by providers. 

[soloyo215]

On 5/16/2024 at 5:26 AM, APPLE1 said:

What is your "vetting" process before meeting up with a guy?  When I read comments here, I get the impression some guys go through a labored scrutiny, and I am unclear what exactly is being scrutinized. I certainly understand that if someone is being paid, there is obviously the question of "am I really getting what I paid for, " or "am I actually going to get paid" but beyond that, I am a bit mystified.

Is there something inherently dangerous that I am missing about an introduction via a hiring website, or grindr, or any other app?

Reliability, veracity of what he puts in his profile around his description, his pictures and the type of things that he offers, location, availability in space and time, a general sense of personality and attitude.

Sometimes the provider offer additional information (i.e. additional services for additional charges).

No different than when you hire other people for other type of work. I inquire things that pertain to the expected service.

There are the universal precautiuons to take in terms of personal safety, but there's the possible added risk to this being an arena that is not necessarily regulated or legal (in some instances, some places, and certain things). Websites, profiles and forums like this have made it a little less risky because of the access to information about providers that we can have available.

[DWnyc]

Overall I wonder if many of us relax whatever criteria we may have (often through having been burnt) - if the guy is (to us) … hot.

Not trying to be funny ..,

[SouthOfTheBorder]

it feels like “scamming” or people actively doing dishonest or harmful things using online platforms is accelerating.  there are more perpetrators looking for victims because it’s just easier online - and the ease of which many invite strangers into their homes, typically when they are alone & most vulnerable.

there’s nothing wrong with an abundance of caution however that works for each person in context of risk tolerance.  and there’s a big difference between a mediocre provider appointment or getting short-changed vs getting robbed/assaulted or blackmailed.  while the chances are slim this will happen, play the game long enough & with frequency - something unpleasant will happen.  the idea is to minimize the chances for something to go sideways. 

I think the best vet is to hire someone with a known public profile - someone that has a social media presence or other.  very unlikely for someone to risk their reputation on small stuff.  

risk-tolerance definitely changes over time & when you have more to lose. I’d never invite an unknown person into my home these days for whatever reason.

dayuse.com is your friend - discounted hotel rooms during day hours when trouble is less likely to happen

 

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

5 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Overall I wonder if many of us relax whatever criteria we may have (often through having been burnt) - if the guy is (to us) … hot.

Not trying to be funny ..,

You're exactly right.

History here has shown that many who have been burned were thinking exclusively with their dick.

If he's pretty and pushes your buttons, gay men tend to throw common sense out the window.

This certainly isn't exclusive to escorts and escorting.

[+ DrownedBoy]

1 hour ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

You're exactly right.

History here has shown that many who have been burned were thinking exclusively with their dick.

If he's pretty and pushes your buttons, gay men tend to throw common sense out the window.

This certainly isn't exclusive to escorts and escorting.

It's also not limited to gay men....

[jeezifonly]

On 5/17/2024 at 7:55 AM, BenjaminNicholas said:

Reference letters.

SSN.

Tax returns and IRS liens.

Family medical history.

Letter from service department at car dealership.

Grocery store memberships (double or triple couponing preferred).

List of online streaming subscriptions.

Brief phone interview asking the tough questions:  'corn or flour tortillas with your breakfast tacos?'

Is the dress Gold and White

or Navy and Black?