What's your Grindr horror story?

[francisssgorg]

Ok, so I'm not really a grindr user, probably only for less than a year now. I just started using it since when I moved here in the US. Finding hook ups is hard especially to an asian guy like me. And I'm the type of person who doesn't send face pic for two reasons: first, I'm paranoid about everything concerning privacy. Even if it's like an expiring photo or something. And second, I have a lot of body insecurities, from head to toe. 

So, finding somebody who would agree to meet up anonymously is like very rare. And I chatted with this one guy who seems to have a decent description in his profile and he's black. I've never had a BBC before so like my excitement is through the roof. My first rookie mistake that day was agreeing to meet up in his place and not mine. My thoughts are like, what if he's a scammer or thief that can rob me? Somethin like that. So he told me his address, and when I got there, it seems like your typical grandparent's house. When I saw him, he looks decent and like your typical bear body type. So when he saw me, he didn't say anything at all, he just signaled me to keep quiet and go straight upstairs. That means he lives in his parent's house.... And ok I entered the door, which btw is unhinged from the wall, and I saw this horrific dumpster like garbage everywhere. It seems like a college dorm room x10000 omg... He said sorry for all the mess and I was pretending to be ok. But it's like a huge turn off for me. Luckily when he undressed, that's when I saw his huge snake, like porn like dick. I'm afraid that I couldn't DT it. I'm a side btw. And it's directly posted in my profile that at most, I do everything except anal, receiving and especially giving. I discussed it with him prior, but still, black guy like him with that kind of dong, must have high hopes at the back of my mind. When I first sucked his dck, it had an unpleasant taste to it, but I kept thinking that I dreamed about trying a black dck before so I should just suck it up, literally. He said I should undress too so he could suck my dck, but I said it's really asian size, and I wasn't getting hard because of all the mess.. So when he saw it, he kinda got disappointed. My personality is, I'm a people pleaser, so when I saw his face, I just suddenly offered to do more kinky stuff like rimming him... So he turned around and he had a really huge ass, like you could really get suffocated. And yes, I tasted sh*t, and almost gagged.... Oh god, I said to him, can you maybe wash your down there for a bit.... So he went to the bathroom and when he got back and I continued rimming him, it still tastes like sht mixed with like an old spice cologne or something. Then I asked him, did you put something in there? And he said he used an old spice type of body wash..... Oh god, I just said to him, maybe you could turn around so I could continue sucking his dick.... Luckily, I think my mouth already got rid of all the musty odor and weird taste from his dck, so like back to a regular tasting dck. Yeah, then he probably got turned on by that so he started forcing me verbally to be anally fckd. It was like a good 15 mins before he gave up... I mean, even if I agree, hypothetically, to get drilled that day, a lot of messy stuff had already been done that was kinda of a turn off for me. So I went back to sucking his dck and him watching a porn in his phone, when all of a sudden, his phone rang, I think it was like the bank calling him and literally the girl on the other line said he had to pay like a negative balance or something from his credit card, which he declared missing. After the call ended, he started kissing me and asked if he could borrow some money for me... At this point I thought, I might get beaten up if I wouldn't give him any money. But I said, I just paid my bills and had sent money to my parents etc... He was asking as well if he could live in my place temporarily, which I said is impossible because I have a roommate... So he went back to concentrating on his porn and me getting him off. After that, he insisted to cuddle and started asking me again about borrowing some money, which at this point, I just made up some stories just so he could get the hint that I am not gonna lend him anything. When I went home, we just texted our good byes with each other and all that thank you stuff but like 3 days later, he texted if he could meet up again. Btch I blockd him.. I can't. We both got disappointed. 

[viewing ownly]

It's a frequent theme, but many of us have had an appointment "cancel" due to the person we were to see deciding they liked someone they saw on Grindr more to their liking. It's a horror story that will only have an ending when Grindr ceases to exist. 

Oh, and about guys who ask to "borrow money", why don't they just ask to have some extra cash because they're running short? All in the approach. Answer is no, but it's all in the approach. 

[ShortCutie7]

I wouldn’t call any of these “horror stories”, but do have some negative experiences that come to mind.  Pre-pandemic, when I was actively looking to meet guys on Grindr, I was picky as to who I would message/respond to and then would vet hookups by chatting on and off for at least a few days prior to meeting.  I was lucky to have never been in a dangerous situation, due in part to these measures.  Anyway, here are some of these negative experiences:

1- A cute guy invites me to come to his place for a hookup. A few minutes before I arrive at his place, he sends a pic of his (slightly less cute) husband and asks if he can join us. I say yes despite not generally being into three-ways. When I arrive, the guy I had been messaging looks about 20 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his pics, but the husband looks like his pic so I went through with it. I honestly didn’t have a terrible time, but guys sending outdated and/or edited pics became a theme (which I won’t go into since it’s self-explanatory).

2- I’m giving a hot guy a bj in his living room and his (likely Orthodox Jewish female) roommate walks in, screams, and runs out.

3- Another theme: guys I [think I] have a great time with blocking me seconds after I leave.  Or better yet, blocking me or stopping responding/not giving an exact address right before we’re about to meet (I once waited on a guy’s corner for almost an hour before I realized he had ghosted me despite making plans).

4- I see a guy on Grindr who appears to be incredibly close, like 50 feet away.  I’m intrigued and we hit it off.  He then sends a face pic which I am not remotely attracted to, so I block him.  The very next day, we got on my building’s elevator together.  What an introduction to a new neighbor!

5- This one was completely my fault and I wonder if this guy could have become a boyfriend had our first encounter gone differently.  He was gorgeous and our chemistry via messaging was amazing.  In a nutshell, he asked if I could meet him for a quick drink and I should have said “not today” instead of “yes”… I arrived at the bar very sweaty/unkempt from a particularly physical day of work and didn’t realize I only had a few dollars in my wallet.  I fortunately noticed the latter before I ordered so only got a water.  I proceeded to be judgmental of my date for drinking “heavily” before his work function (I was an innocent 22 so my perception of heavy drinking was skewed).  I then walked my date to his function and he gave me a kiss on the cheek (which I could still feel), but I knew I’d never see him again.  Despite knowing his (relatively common) full name and vocation, I have not been able to track him down to apologize and ask for a second chance.

[soloyo215]

23 hours ago, francisssgorg said:

 We both got disappointed. 

To say the least. Seriously, look into that people pleasing thing (trust me, I know a lot about it). It can get you killed one day.

I don't have any Grindr horror stories because I've never been in it, precisely because of what I just read, and because I prefer in-person meeting people. Of course, nowadays it's almost impossible, but I am part of that almost.

[MaybeMaybeNot]

2 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I wouldn’t call any of these “horror stories”, but do have some negative experiences that come to mind.  Pre-pandemic, when I was actively looking to meet guys on Grindr, I was picky as to who I would message/respond to and then would vet hookups by chatting on and off for at least a few days prior to meeting.  I was lucky to have never been in a dangerous situation, due in part to these measures.  Anyway, here are some of these negative experiences:

1- A cute guy invites me to come to his place for a hookup. A few minutes before I arrive at his place, he sends a pic of his (slightly less cute) husband and asks if he can join us. I say yes despite not generally being into three-ways. When I arrive, the guy I had been messaging looks about 20 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his pics, but the husband looks like his pic so I went through with it. I honestly didn’t have a terrible time, but guys sending outdated and/or edited pics became a theme (which I won’t go into since it’s self-explanatory).

2- I’m giving a hot guy a bj in his living room and his (likely Orthodox Jewish female) roommate walks in, screams, and runs out.

3- Another theme: guys I [think I] have a great time with blocking me seconds after I leave.  Or better yet, blocking me or stopping responding/not giving an exact address right before we’re about to meet (I once waited on a guy’s corner for almost an hour before I realized he had ghosted me despite making plans).

4- I see a guy on Grindr who appears to be incredibly close, like 50 feet away.  I’m intrigued and we hit it off.  He then sends a face pic which I am not remotely attracted to, so I block him.  The very next day, we got on my building’s elevator together.  What an introduction to a new neighbor!

5- This one was completely my fault and I wonder if this guy could have become a boyfriend had our first encounter gone differently.  He was gorgeous and our chemistry via messaging was amazing.  In a nutshell, he asked if I could meet him for a quick drink and I should have said “not today” instead of “yes”… I arrived at the bar very sweaty/unkempt from a particularly physical day of work and didn’t realize I only had a few dollars in my wallet.  I fortunately noticed the latter before I ordered so only got a water.  I proceeded to be judgmental of my date for drinking “heavily” before his work function (I was an innocent 22 so my perception of heavy drinking was skewed).  I then walked my date to his function and he gave me a kiss on the cheek (which I could still feel), but I knew I’d never see him again.  Despite knowing his (relatively common) full name and vocation, I have not been able to track him down to apologize and ask for a second chance.

I don't understand the outdated picture thing.  I like older guys. No one has to be perfect. But don't set me up for one person and present another.  So annoying.  

In my hometown, the trend on Scruff is to use an old picture, then to have the following pictures be recent. I don't get it. 

[ShortCutie7]

7 hours ago, MaybeMaybeNot said:

I don't understand the outdated picture thing.  I like older guys. No one has to be perfect. But don't set me up for one person and present another.  So annoying.  

In my hometown, the trend on Scruff is to use an old picture, then to have the following pictures be recent. I don't get it. 

Exactly!  The thing is, I wouldn’t have minded the outdated picture if he still looked basically the same, just a little older… but quite a bit changed since that picture.  I know I have pictures of myself from around 10 years ago in which I look basically the same as I do now.

[soloyo215]

7 hours ago, MaybeMaybeNot said:

I don't understand the outdated picture thing.  I like older guys. No one has to be perfect. But don't set me up for one person and present another.  So annoying.  

In my hometown, the trend on Scruff is to use an old picture, then to have the following pictures be recent. I don't get it. 

My guess is that the premise is that once you meet him, and once you get to see his wonderful personality or other attributes, you will be so charmed that you'll overlook the fact that the picture is deceitful.

Another guess is that they are in denial, as it happen with people who keep wearing 90s clothing because they looked good in it back then. They convince themselves that that's how they still look.

Another guess is poor self-image, too afraid of showing how they really look.

I don't see any of them as good/bad, more as a "you decide how to deal with it yourself" thing.

[Bokomaru]

1 hour ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I know I have pictures of myself from around 10 years ago in which I look basically the same as I do now.

And here is the exact problem. We are not objective about our own looks. It’s easy to fool myself that “I haven’t changed much.” That’s probably what the dude you met thought about himself as well. 

[ShortCutie7]

11 minutes ago, Bokomaru said:

And here is the exact problem. We are not objective about our own looks. It’s easy to fool myself that “I haven’t changed much.” That’s probably what the dude you met thought about himself as well. 

I totally see what you mean- I should have clarified that there are certain pictures in which I look the same and others I do not… it depends on lots of factors like angle, lighting, haircut, attire, etc.

[SouthOfTheBorder]

thanks for reminding me why I don’t use the hookup apps.  

it seems like for the hours & hours guys spend on those apps - they are relatively few good outcomes.  and yet, everyone is up to give it another shot, expecting something different ? 

[Bokomaru]

I can think of a few bad situations. 

1. Met a super hot twunk bottom. When I went to fuck him I saw that he clearly had an open herpes sore on his asshole. Wtf? Why was he hooking up? Gently telling him that it wasn’t gonna happen did not go well.

2. Met a very masculine muscular guy who wanted to sit on my face. A couple of minutes into it I realized that I had bits of toilet paper in my mouth. 🤮 

3. Met a handsome dude who wanted to do a roleplay: straight guy getting serviced by a sub f*g. Great verbal. It was really hot, right up until the time that he slapped me in the face, and forgot to put down the poppers before doing so.  He hit bone, right in front of my temple. I literally saw stars, little flashes of light. There was swelling and a bad bruise on my face for over two weeks.  

[ShortCutie7]

46 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

thanks for reminding me why I don’t use the hookup apps.  

it seems like for the hours & hours guys spend on those apps - they are relatively few good outcomes.  and yet, everyone is up to give it another shot, expecting something different ? 

The waste of time (and phone storage) is why I deleted Grindr a few weeks ago and Scruff a few months ago… just not worth it. 

[marylander1940]

10 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

thanks for reminding me why I don’t use the hookup apps.  

it seems like for the hours & hours guys spend on those apps - they are relatively few good outcomes.  and yet, everyone is up to give it another shot, expecting something different ? 

I agree but the chances of a good outcome depend also in how you look and what kind of expectations you have about those who want to have free sex with you.

I also don't use apps, that's why I hire.

9 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

The waste of time (and phone storage) is why I deleted Grindr a few weeks ago and Scruff a few months ago… just not worth it. 

Even younger in shape guys realize it's a waste of time or just a matter of getting lucky, I know guys who only use it while on a trip, the chances of getting laid are way better than at home. 

[marylander1940]

On 5/12/2024 at 11:41 PM, francisssgorg said:

Ok, so I'm not really a grindr user, probably only for less than a year now. I just started using it since when I moved here in the US. Finding hook ups is hard especially to an asian guy like me. And I'm the type of person who doesn't send face pic for two reasons: first, I'm paranoid about everything concerning privacy. Even if it's like an expiring photo or something. And second, I have a lot of body insecurities, from head to toe. 

So, finding somebody who would agree to meet up anonymously is like very rare. And I chatted with this one guy who seems to have a decent description in his profile and he's black. I've never had a BBC before so like my excitement is through the roof. My first rookie mistake that day was agreeing to meet up in his place and not mine. My thoughts are like, what if he's a scammer or thief that can rob me? Somethin like that. So he told me his address, and when I got there, it seems like your typical grandparent's house. When I saw him, he looks decent and like your typical bear body type. So when he saw me, he didn't say anything at all, he just signaled me to keep quiet and go straight upstairs. That means he lives in his parent's house.... And ok I entered the door, which btw is unhinged from the wall, and I saw this horrific dumpster like garbage everywhere. It seems like a college dorm room x10000 omg... He said sorry for all the mess and I was pretending to be ok. But it's like a huge turn off for me. Luckily when he undressed, that's when I saw his huge snake, like porn like dick. I'm afraid that I couldn't DT it. I'm a side btw. And it's directly posted in my profile that at most, I do everything except anal, receiving and especially giving. I discussed it with him prior, but still, black guy like him with that kind of dong, must have high hopes at the back of my mind. When I first sucked his dck, it had an unpleasant taste to it, but I kept thinking that I dreamed about trying a black dck before so I should just suck it up, literally. He said I should undress too so he could suck my dck, but I said it's really asian size, and I wasn't getting hard because of all the mess.. So when he saw it, he kinda got disappointed. My personality is, I'm a people pleaser, so when I saw his face, I just suddenly offered to do more kinky stuff like rimming him... So he turned around and he had a really huge ass, like you could really get suffocated. And yes, I tasted sh*t, and almost gagged.... Oh god, I said to him, can you maybe wash your down there for a bit.... So he went to the bathroom and when he got back and I continued rimming him, it still tastes like sht mixed with like an old spice cologne or something. Then I asked him, did you put something in there? And he said he used an old spice type of body wash..... Oh god, I just said to him, maybe you could turn around so I could continue sucking his dick.... Luckily, I think my mouth already got rid of all the musty odor and weird taste from his dck, so like back to a regular tasting dck. Yeah, then he probably got turned on by that so he started forcing me verbally to be anally fckd. It was like a good 15 mins before he gave up... I mean, even if I agree, hypothetically, to get drilled that day, a lot of messy stuff had already been done that was kinda of a turn off for me. So I went back to sucking his dck and him watching a porn in his phone, when all of a sudden, his phone rang, I think it was like the bank calling him and literally the girl on the other line said he had to pay like a negative balance or something from his credit card, which he declared missing. After the call ended, he started kissing me and asked if he could borrow some money for me... At this point I thought, I might get beaten up if I wouldn't give him any money. But I said, I just paid my bills and had sent money to my parents etc... He was asking as well if he could live in my place temporarily, which I said is impossible because I have a roommate... So he went back to concentrating on his porn and me getting him off. After that, he insisted to cuddle and started asking me again about borrowing some money, which at this point, I just made up some stories just so he could get the hint that I am not gonna lend him anything. When I went home, we just texted our good byes with each other and all that thank you stuff but like 3 days later, he texted if he could meet up again. Btch I blockd him.. I can't. We both got disappointed. 

First of all thank you for being honest!

Now.... you need some tough love. It's time to man up and face the world out there in person or through the apps. Get some selfies, someone out there wants you and you want him. 

[Andy768]

On 5/12/2024 at 11:41 PM, francisssgorg said:

 

When I first sucked his dck, it had an unpleasant taste to it, but I kept thinking that I dreamed about trying a black dck before so I should just suck it up, literally. He said I should undress too so he could suck my dck, but I said it's really asian size, and I wasn't getting hard because of all the mess.. So when he saw it, he kinda got disappointed. My personality is, I'm a people pleaser, so when I saw his face, I just suddenly offered to do more kinky stuff like rimming him... So he turned around and he had a really huge ass, like you could really get suffocated. And yes, I tasted sh*t, and almost gagged.... Oh god, I said to him, can you maybe wash your down there for a bit.... So he went to the bathroom and when he got back and I continued rimming him, it still tastes like sht mixed with like an old spice cologne or something. Then I asked him, did you put something in there? And he said he used an old spice type of body wash.....  

 

12 hours ago, Bokomaru said:

I can think of a few bad situations. 

1. Met a super hot twunk bottom. When I went to fuck him I saw that he clearly had an open herpes sore on his asshole. Wtf? Why was he hooking up? Gently telling him that it wasn’t gonna happen did not go well.

2. Met a very masculine muscular guy who wanted to sit on my face. A couple of minutes into it I realized that I had bits of toilet paper in my mouth. 🤮 

3. Met a handsome dude who wanted to do a roleplay: straight guy getting serviced by a sub f*g. Great verbal. It was really hot, right up until the time that he slapped me in the face, and forgot to put down the poppers before doing so.  He hit bone, right in front of my temple. I literally saw stars, little flashes of light. There was swelling and a bad bruise on my face for over two weeks.  

Wow, these truly are horror stories. Thank you for sharing but sorry you had to experience them