Question for providers who advertise on RM regarding the chat function

[Decatur Guy]

RentMen offers a chat option under the different ways to contact a provider. Personally, I find it great way to make first contact, where I say hello, what I like about the ad and enquire about rates and basic info. I'm right there in the ad, and I'm not giving out my number right off the bat for initial contact. I usually offer to move to direct texts, if the provider prefers, after two or three back-and-forths. 

However, most providers state they prefer direct texts right from the start and that they do not use or seldom use the RM chat feature. Why is that? As a client/customer, I find it very convenient for initial contact. What is is about the chat option from the provider end that makes most providers not want to use it?

I'm just curious why the provider user experience is so different from the prospective client experience. 

Edited December 30, 2023 by Decatur Guy

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Not a provider, but I've seen them say that it's another thing they have to check. I'm assuming they can get push notifications but maybe it requires them to sign in? Like on this site, I'll get an email saying I have a message, but I have to log in to read it. It's an inconvenience. 

[nate_sf]

The push notifications for the RM chats seldom if ever work, so the provider is not aware of there being a message unless he logs in. Whereas if it’s a text directly to him, he’ll see it right away. 

I try to check in on my RM chats a few times a day. But it’s frustrating to find a chat with something like “are you available this afternoon” when I’m only just checking hours later. 

But I still like the RM chat feature for the reasons mentioned, particularly if the client has added info to their profile. It works fine for hires that are further out in the future and there is more time for back and forth. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Some providers, I understand, have technical problems either using or accessing the chat. Conversely, I've met providers who are rarely marked "available," but if your RM message them, they'll give you availability.

I would recommend both sides use chat for very basic questions (an intro with wants, and a question of rates/location/availability), but you really should switch to a real phone text for actual business. Last time I checked, RM chat had zero security.

[BuffaloKyle]

Most providers want a text since they will know you're more serious and not just looking for free chatting. But as @Decatur Guy said I as well like to initiate contact on messenger so I can get a quick feel for the provider and see what their rate is and if they are a good fit for me. Then I can move it onto text. I remember one provider I hit up and they responded with very incoherent replies back. I was so glad in that case to not have texted. Much easier to say no and move on through messenger than text. You never know if a provider will get pissed off and possibly spam bomb your number. Plus I like to have the provider check out my client page for all my stats and info and save them from asking for all that info.

[marylander1940]

On 12/29/2023 at 7:47 PM, Decatur Guy said:

RentMen offers a chat option under the different ways to contact a provider. Personally, I find it great way to make first contact, where I say hello, what I like about the ad and enquire about rates and basic info. I'm right there in the ad, and I'm not giving out my number right off the bat for initial contact. I usually offer to move to direct texts, if the provider prefers, after two or three back-and-forths. 

However, most providers state they prefer direct texts right from the start and that they do not use or seldom use the RM chat feature. Why is that? As a client/customer, I find it very convenient for initial contact. What is is about the chat option from the provider end that makes most providers not want to use it?

I'm just curious why the provider user experience is so different from the prospective client experience. 

IM is a pain in the ass! 

Most messages are: "hey". Every time you click enter it goes through as a message not allowing proper sentences to be written. I wish they could go back to email as an alternative to phone, at least folks were able to type reasonable sentences with a proper message instead of:

hey

what's up?

how are you? 

I'm not surprised most folks have an automatic reply set suggesting texting directly to their phones. 

Edited December 31, 2023 by marylander1940

[Simon Suraci]

15 hours ago, nate_sf said:

The push notifications for the RM chats seldom if ever work, so the provider is not aware of there being a message unless he logs in. Whereas if it’s a text directly to him, he’ll see it right away. 

I try to check in on my RM chats a few times a day. But it’s frustrating to find a chat with something like “are you available this afternoon” when I’m only just checking hours later. 

But I still like the RM chat feature for the reasons mentioned, particularly if the client has added info to their profile. It works fine for hires that are further out in the future and there is more time for back and forth. 

Agree 100% with @nate_sf. This is what I do too; I only log in a few times a day at most unless I have an active chat and expecting more back and forth. So much of our client communication now is typically by text, or through other platforms with reliable push notifications or email notifications.

I would use RM Messenger more frequently if I were able to get push notifications, but they don’t work no matter how many times and different ways I change the settings to allow push notifications. I get an email once in a while alerting me to a message someone sent months ago. Most of the time I get no notification at all, in any form, ever. The system is horrendously buggy and unreliable.

RM Messages are fine for clients who are booking days or more in advance. At the very least 24 hrs in advance. Someone contacting me for a time only hours away might not even get my attention and response until after the time they wanted has passed. Forget about “are you available now?” messages. The only way I will see and respond to that message is if I happen to log in at exactly the time the sender sends it.

I get why clients would want to use RM Messenger for initial (or all) communication and I’m fine with that. You just can’t reasonably expect a provider to constantly be logging into the RM Messenger app to check messages. Remember the days of AOL, when you would have to log in and it says “You’ve got mail!”? It’s basically that all over again but in app form. You have no way of knowing there is an urgent message unless you happen to log in.

RM Messenger is not my primary mode of communication, so I am not spending all day checking for messages. 9 times out of 10 that I check, there is no message. All that checking is wasted time, so I am unmotivated to constantly keep manually checking. Clients who really want to see me get no prompt response on there and figure out they just need to text and they do. Smooth sailing from there.

I wish RentMen would get their shit together and fix the messenger bugs. They spend way too much time finding ways to charge clients and advertisers more and more money and not enough time developing a good product.

[SouthOfTheBorder]

On 12/29/2023 at 7:47 PM, Decatur Guy said:

However, most providers state they prefer direct texts right from the start and that they do not use or seldom use the RM chat feature

I feel like some providers prefer no electronic trail on RM so reviews cannot be verified.  RM will not post a client review unless they see provider/client contact through their site.

[Luv2play]

16 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

Some providers, I understand, have technical problems either using or accessing the chat. Conversely, I've met providers who are rarely marked "available," but if your RM message them, they'll give you availability.

I would recommend both sides use chat for very basic questions (an intro with wants, and a question of rates/location/availability), but you really should switch to a real phone text for actual business. Last time I checked, RM chat had zero security.

How did you check their security?

[+ KensingtonHomo]

4 hours ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I feel like some providers prefer no electronic trail on RM so reviews cannot be verified.  RM will not post a client review unless they see provider/client contact through their site.

Maybe... but if I want to leave a review, I tell the provide I'll let them know I have to send them a message on RM to leave one. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

A smart provider brings the chat away from a third-party listing site with questionable encryption and onto a private email server-system than is discreet, safe and secure.

Not that RM has had issues (yet), but why would someone want to do all of their business discussion on their platform.  A simple introduction over their chat system works and then an escort can direct you to a telephone number or email address.

[Decatur Guy]

On 12/30/2023 at 6:22 PM, nate_sf said:

The push notifications for the RM chats seldom if ever work, so the provider is not aware of there being a message unless he logs in. Whereas if it’s a text directly to him, he’ll see it right away. 

I try to check in on my RM chats a few times a day. But it’s frustrating to find a chat with something like “are you available this afternoon” when I’m only just checking hours later. 

But I still like the RM chat feature for the reasons mentioned, particularly if the client has added info to their profile. It works fine for hires that are further out in the future and there is more time for back and forth. 

That good information to have, and I seldom use it as "same day" feature, though that has worked out before. I like it for initial contact and for the sending of non-urgent messaging. Thanks for the insights on how that works for a provider. Sounds like the push notifications are a big issue. 

[Decatur Guy]

On 12/30/2023 at 6:34 PM, DrownedBoy said:

Some providers, I understand, have technical problems either using or accessing the chat. Conversely, I've met providers who are rarely marked "available," but if your RM message them, they'll give you availability.

I would recommend both sides use chat for very basic questions (an intro with wants, and a question of rates/location/availability), but you really should switch to a real phone text for actual business. Last time I checked, RM chat had zero security.

Yes, I want to use for initial contact, finding out rates and a little more info if the ad is sparse. After that, I'm fine going to text or calls. I mainly just don't like to make that query about rates over my text. 

[Decatur Guy]

On 12/31/2023 at 9:30 AM, BuffaloKyle said:

Most providers want a text since they will know you're more serious and not just looking for free chatting. But as @Decatur Guy said I as well like to initiate contact on messenger so I can get a quick feel for the provider and see what their rate is and if they are a good fit for me. Then I can move it onto text. I remember one provider I hit up and they responded with very incoherent replies back. I was so glad in that case to not have texted. Much easier to say no and move on through messenger than text. You never know if a provider will get pissed off and possibly spam bomb your number. Plus I like to have the provider check out my client page for all my stats and info and save them from asking for all that info.

I've done it before with no bad results, but I'm somewhat wary about starting things off with a text asking for rates. I'd much rather use RM messenger, and hopefully the provider will look at my profile, my number of reviews and from there figure out I'm a serious prospective client. But there a good number of providers who want all contact to start with texting. I'm getting a better understanding of why now that I'm reading these responses. 

Edited January 2 by Decatur Guy

[Decatur Guy]

On 12/31/2023 at 9:50 AM, marylander1940 said:

IM is a pain in the ass! 

Most messages are: "hey". Every time you click enter it goes through as a message not allowing proper sentences to be written. I wish they could go back to email as an alternative to phone, at least folks were able to type reasonable sentences with a proper message instead of:

hey

what's up?

how are you? 

I'm not surprised most folks have an automatic reply set suggesting texting directly to their phones. 

I do sometimes get automated messages with rates when I send that initial RM chat asking for them. And that's very helpful. 

[Decatur Guy]

On 12/31/2023 at 10:33 AM, Simon Suraci said:

Agree 100% with @nate_sf. This is what I do too; I only log in a few times a day at most unless I have an active chat and expecting more back and forth. So much of our client communication now is typically by text, or through other platforms with reliable push notifications or email notifications.

I would use RM Messenger more frequently if I were able to get push notifications, but they don’t work no matter how many times and different ways I change the settings to allow push notifications. I get an email once in a while alerting me to a message someone sent months ago. Most of the time I get no notification at all, in any form, ever. The system is horrendously buggy and unreliable.

RM Messages are fine for clients who are booking days or more in advance. At the very least 24 hrs in advance. Someone contacting me for a time only hours away might not even get my attention and response until after the time they wanted has passed. Forget about “are you available now?” messages. The only way I will see and respond to that message is if I happen to log in at exactly the time the sender sends it.

I get why clients would want to use RM Messenger for initial (or all) communication and I’m fine with that. You just can’t reasonably expect a provider to constantly be logging into the RM Messenger app to check messages. Remember the days of AOL, when you would have to log in and it says “You’ve got mail!”? It’s basically that all over again but in app form. You have no way of knowing there is an urgent message unless you happen to log in.

RM Messenger is not my primary mode of communication, so I am not spending all day checking for messages. 9 times out of 10 that I check, there is no message. All that checking is wasted time, so I am unmotivated to constantly keep manually checking. Clients who really want to see me get no prompt response on there and figure out they just need to text and they do. Smooth sailing from there.

I wish RentMen would get their shit together and fix the messenger bugs. They spend way too much time finding ways to charge clients and advertisers more and more money and not enough time developing a good product.

It sounds like the RM notification feature to providers is the real culprit in all of this based on reading your great response and the others. And I had no idea it was that bad. But like you said in there, I use RM for general introduction and advance situations. If I am really super jazzed up for a day-of appointment, I will go ahead and directly text or call a potential provider I've never met before despite my misgivings about that. Precisely because of the number of times I have not heard back or heard back way too late. 

[Decatur Guy]

Hey, a big thank you to providers and others who responded. This makes more sense now. Based on the replies, the biggest culprit in this not working more efficiently is the RM push notification system. More than ever, I'll keep in mind to use this as advanced notice only. If I am truly cranked up for a day-of appointment and it's a provider I've never met, I'll just go to the phone text.

Maybe I should get a second phone dedicated just for things like this. ... 

It's too bad we can't see rates in the US with a VPN workaround and see more explicit details. In many cases on a good ad, that also would circumvent the need to use RM messenger at all.

Edited January 2 by Decatur Guy

[Simon Suraci]

18 hours ago, Decatur Guy said:

It's too bad we can't see rates in the US with a VPN workaround and see more explicit details.

Many providers would love to list out our rates and services more explicitly on our ads. US laws and backwards attitudes unfortunately prevent us from doing so. A few of us have personal websites to list a lot more info. The extra step of having to visit another website can be a barrier for a lot of clients, even with a clear hyperlink. Some manage to click through and get the info they need. I have a website. You can read between the lines on there and see rates clearly listed.

I also prompt clients on my ads to text me for an expanded menu. I send it to those who ask, without any pressure to book or interact further if they don’t want to. It’s the easiest way for me to share explicit information and rates without being censored on a third party platform.

I get why clients don’t always want to move to text right away, so I do the best I can with a given platform’s communication system. Sometimes I have to use coded language or other workarounds to communicate on a restrictive platform.

Adam4Adam, for example, in my massage ad description blocks out the word “rape” in “Therapeutic” to yield “The****utic”. It’s crazy.

In a text, I can talk about sexual acts, or body parts, or even non-sexual things without the crazy censor filters. I can express rates and services quite directly, like:

Sex Work

$300/one hour

$500/two hours

[Decatur Guy]

15 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

Many providers would love to list out our rates and services more explicitly on our ads. US laws and backwards attitudes unfortunately prevent us from doing so. A few of us have personal websites to list a lot more info. The extra step of having to visit another website can be a barrier for a lot of clients, even with a clear hyperlink. Some manage to click through and get the info they need. I have a website. You can read between the lines on there and see rates clearly listed.

I also prompt clients on my ads to text me for an expanded menu. I send it to those who ask, without any pressure to book or interact further if they don’t want to. It’s the easiest way for me to share explicit information and rates without being censored on a third party platform.

I get why clients don’t always want to move to text right away, so I do the best I can with a given platform’s communication system. Sometimes I have to use coded language or other workarounds to communicate on a restrictive platform.

Adam4Adam, for example, in my massage ad description blocks out the word “rape” in “Therapeutic” to yield “The****utic”. It’s crazy.

In a text, I can talk about sexual acts, or body parts, or even non-sexual things without the crazy censor filters. I can express rates and services quite directly, like:

Sex Work

$300/one hour

$500/two hours

It's crazy all the workarounds we have to do. And it actually is getting worse. Things were more straightforward in 2010. Also, I had a typo in my item above. I should have typed "withOUT" a VPN ...

Edited January 2 by Decatur Guy