establishing a relationship and time wasters

[PileDriver]

so what is the line between being a "time wasterr" and laying the ground for a first meeting? have contacted someone and within 15 minutes been in full penetration. and have also laid the ground work over more than a month though texts. all depends on expectations. on the part of the provider. no?

[+ azdr0710]

sometimes there's an art to proving you're a sincere client......

 

[Guest]

True; it can be tricky to walk this line. I keep messaging to a minimum, and only reach out to a provider if he meets threshold criteria, I’m ready to schedule, and know generally when  I will schedule (could be a few weeks in advance). I might decide not to book depending on the quality of our exchange, but I will not reach out just to fulfill fantasies. I would characterize a positive exchange as rapport building rather than relationship building. I don’t need a relationship to book, just need to get a sense that he’s fun and kind. A professional relationship might grow if he becomes a regular, but not going for that. I also will message after an encounter if appropriate, but again minimal.

[Rudynate]

4 hours ago, PileDriver said:

so what is the line between being a "time wasterr" and laying the ground for a first meeting? have contacted someone and within 15 minutes been in full penetration. and have also laid the ground work over more than a month though texts. all depends on expectations. on the part of the provider. no?

Is it that difficult?   If you cover what, when, where and who in your first communication, you have pretty much established that you aren't a timewaster. 

[soloyo215]

2 hours ago, Km411 said:

...I will not reach out just to fulfill fantasies.

That's what real clients should do. I know that there are some who are first timers, struggling with accepting their sexuality, insanely busy, working erratic schedules, and things alike, but all those things can be communicated. First time I reached out to a provider I mentioned that I am new to all this and I am interested in their service. However, I was clear and decided to go with it. I didn't reach out until I knew that I mean business. A time waster is like a window shopper, only that he's taking the provider's time. My rule is complete clarity about scheduling, availability and the service I am interested in. When that's been discussed, it's not wasting time, even if the provider of I decide not to book after the initial contact.

So far there has been only one provider who I'd say was a time waster to me, due to unclear communication on his part and cancellation at the last minute without wanting to reschedule. I just moved on and didn't bother him again.

[Guest]

9 hours ago, PileDriver said:

so what is the line between being a "time wasterr" and laying the ground for a first meeting? have contacted someone and within 15 minutes been in full penetration. and have also laid the ground work over more than a month though texts. all depends on expectations. on the part of the provider. no?

I would love to hear the details on getting to full penetration in 15 minutes!  Sounds like a great experience.  

[+ Jamie21]

4 hours ago, The Big Guy said:

I would love to hear the details on getting to full penetration in 15 minutes!  Sounds like a great experience.  

So would I…. and to hear if he was dressed and making payment 15 minutes after full penetration. It sounds like the drive through fast food end of the market. 

[PileDriver]

had an assignation planned in midtown during the middle of a weekday. provider had to cancel as i was waiting downstairs so while walking back to the subway i went online and one block away someone was available so I texted him as i walked the block to his hotel. He met me as soon as I entered the lobby and we were in his room a minute later and we had fun and i then  went back to work...seeing him in a few weeks, for the 4th time now. nice guy. professional. fun. dependable. 

[PileDriver]

the best part is the provider who left me hanging and i are mature enough that we have since then continued our relationship and because he canceled i now have another sweet guy to play with...some day  when the planets align i want them both at the same time...if only all assignations and life were so easy and playful, sigh...

Edited December 21, 2023 by PileDriver

[SouthOfTheBorder]

21 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

A client reached out recently starting out by saying he didn’t know what he wanted but that he wants to fly me across the country for a session (red flag #1)

I don't understand "flying someone in" as a first meeting & I'll bet it never actually happens.  I could see it happening after a relationship is established.  
So much time, money & effort involved for an unknown outcome - it can't begin to make sense for either client or provider.

This scenario seems a sure time-waster.

[MikeBiDude]

3 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I don't understand "flying someone in" as a first meeting & I'll bet it never actually happens

It happens. I've done it 4-5 times over the years. Usually someone well known or well reviewed but exceptions even to that. However I'll agree it's better if a relationship via shorter previous meets happen.

[Guest]

40 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

I don't understand "flying someone in" as a first meeting & I'll bet it never actually happens.  I could see it happening after a relationship is established.  
So much time, money & effort involved for an unknown outcome - it can't begin to make sense for either client or provider.

I’ve done so several times because there are few providers in my area, and I’m located in an area that’s out of reasonable driving distance but a short flight from several major metro areas. Always an overnight and I host (I’m more comfortable at home and save on hotel). They’ve all worked out very well, but always preceded by the steps that @Simon Suracioutlined above. Sure there’s risk, but I think it makes sense in my circumstances.