Fill in the pronoun field!

[Stormy]

I signed up for a summer class this week and one of the required fields on the application was to name my pronouns.  Is this now common on job applications, or any other application?   How can it be required that I tell a school or employer what my pronoun is?  I wrote he/his/him but really didn’t want to say anything about this 

[+ sync]

Kudos for understanding the question.  I would have had to ask for an explanation, revealing how out-of-touch I am.

[+ poolboy48220]

all you're doing is letting them know how you prefer to be addressed. 

[Archangel]

1 hour ago, Stormy said:

I signed up for a summer class this week and one of the required fields on the application was to name my pronouns.  Is this now common on job applications, or any other application?   How can it be required that I tell a school or employer what my pronoun is?  I wrote he/his/him but really didn’t want to say anything about this 

Some people are so open minded their brains have fallen out…

I’m all for calling people what they want. But this feels somehow like…virtual signaling.

My first boyfriend was trans. I didn’t mind and made that clear from the beginning. To me, it is was about him, not his gender identity, that I was attracted to. But he was often bringing it up. It was as if since I didn’t see it as noteworthy (as normal) he was displeased or unsatisfied at least. He and I have since split and he is dating another transman now.

This is a difficult situation for me. I want to be a full-throated supporter but it seems to me the goalposts are always moving and now people who don’t seem to have any intention of living anything but an outwardly cisgender life are somehow “nonbinary.” Enjoy the outward privilege of binary identification until among those who would feel guilty if they misgendered a nonbinary person. It just seems off to me…

I probably have said too much…

[+ sync]

I'm just not doing it.  If the individual appears to be male, it's "he/him," if the individual appears to be female, it's "she/her."  Like it/lump it/kiss it!

[+ poolboy48220]

in these days of working from home, appearance often isn't an option unless they turn on their camera (most don't where I work) or have a profile picture.  And with names from another country it's often difficult.  Back in the early 2000's a new hire was upset that she'd been referred to as "he" in an email announcing new team members. 

And funny aside, when I first met my new neighbors I thought they were a lesbian couple.  Turns out it's a straight couple, the guy is very androgynous looking, with a gender-ambiguous name. 

[+ Charlie]

I had to fill out an application from the CA DMV yesterday for a senior ID card for my spouse (he is giving up his driver's license on his 88th birthday next week in exchange for the card), and I was surprised that he had to indicate whether he was male, female or nonbinary. If he had been filling out the application himself, he would have been baffled by the question.

[Lookin]

Seems to me that, given greater gender fluidity, the use of gender-specific pronouns will fade over time.  It's easy enough to keep track of preferred pronouns for a friend or relative, but it's not so easy to keep track of preferred pronouns for the dozens or hundreds of people someone interacts with on even a somewhat regular basis.

Unless, of course, the pronouns become part of one's name.  Joseph could become Joseph-he-his-him.  But that might lead to an invitation to "Just call me Joe-he-his-him."  

I do believe that folks should be able to ask others to use preferred pronouns, just as I believe folks should be able to ask others to use a preferred name.  It's certainly a courtesy I'm willing to respect.  But I think it would likewise be courteous of the other person to overlook a mistake on my part if I get it wrong.

I expect gender fluidity will become more common over time (another post for another day), so I think the likely solution will be gender-neutral pronouns.  Till then, I'm willing to try my best to get it right for everyone I meet or communicate with.  But I will ask for a little patience and understanding when I mess up.

In the meantime, if someone asks me to specify my preferred pronouns, I'll just say, "Surprise me."  

[Guest]

On 8/9/2023 at 4:14 AM, Stormy said:

I signed up for a summer class this week and one of the required fields on the application was to name my pronouns...

I feel a song coming on....

Edited August 10, 2023 by Unicorn

[jeezifonly]

Mine are I \ Me \ My

Writer and Performance Artist Taylor Mac uses Judy\Judy\Judy’s
as his gender pronouns. 
🤩 Brilliant

[Guest]

3 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Mine are I \ Me \ My

Writer and Performance Artist Taylor Mac uses Judy\Judy\Judy’s
as his gender pronouns. 
🤩 Brilliant

Is he a follower of Judyism?

[KrisParr]

The great state of Indiana (Hoosier by birth, btw) passed a law this year that requires teachers K-12 to inform parents if their child requests to be called by a name other than what’s on the official record. So if James decides he wants to be called Sarah, the teacher must notify the parent. Why? Well, it’s to allow the parent to deal with the possibility that the child may be contemplating a trans lifestyle.  Horror. Seriously. What the brilliant legislators overlooked has turned into a shit-show. Teachers are inundated with requests such as: official name = Rosemary, but the child prefers Rosie. Ding-ding-ding. Must contact parent. Thomas prefers Tom. Jonathan requests to be known as John. And so on. Doesn’t matter if it’s a gender issue, the child must be addressed by their official name. Teachers are swamped, and parents are furious with the nonsense. 
 

 

http://Check out this article from IndyStar: Parents annoyed as pronouns law requires Indiana schools to report all nickname requests https://www.indystar.com/story/news/education/2023/08/10/pronouns-law-parents-annoyed-schools-must-report-nicknames-indianapolis-marion-hamilton-county/70562122007/

[mike carey]

Mod's Note

Gentlemen, a reminder to keep politics out of the discussion, The thread is about negotiating situations where you are asked to specify 'your pronouns'. It's not about whether you agree with the premise of the question, nor is it about your political take on the medical and sociological issues that have led to it being asked in an increasing range of contexts. Political comments will be removed.

[rvwnsd]

Specifying pronouns makes it a lot easier for people to know how to address someone when they write to them. When faced with someone whose name is "Sean," "Chris," "Leslie," or "Pat" (among others) knowing their pronouns avoids the embarrassment of referring to a man as "she" or a woman as "Mr." To me, the origin story around specifying pronouns doesn't matter. What matters is the benefit of knowing that I should refer to Sean A. as "he" and Sean B. as "she." It simply makes life easier.